I did it: mountain bike victory

What a tiring yet victorious weekend!

We managed to get all of our errands done.  We visited my mom and we also visited Jason’s parents.  But...we made it a priority to ride our bikes even amidst everything else.   We had a plan for our time at the beginning of the week and no matter how badly we each wanted to not follow through and not ride our bikes, we did it anyway.  So let’s talk about these bike rides.

On Saturday afternoon, after our weekends errands were done we headed out with our bikes.  Where did we go?   No where other than the Trail of Tears, the location of not one, but two meltdowns.  I figured I could at least make it to the furthest meltdown location.  Am I a glutton for punishment or what?   My goal was to make it af least to that 4.5 mile mark with no tears.  Well....I charged onto the trail.   I even hit the stream crossings like a champ! I didn’t end up with a wet foot either!!!   I also did not rip my pants like the week before!  I was slow at times...but the miles passed and low and behold I made it  to the END of the trail!  Really?   But yes, the trail marker clearly said ‘the end’.   I wasn’t to gung ho about the 6.2 hilly miles I had to ride in order to get back to the car(this trail is an out and back.). But I attacked them like a trooper.   I did have to walk a few hills on the way back, but for the most part I was in the saddle propelling myself forward on the bike. I did it!!!!!

I was sooo sore and tired! My body ached!   That night while I slept every time I moved I was cognizant of my body and the sore muscles.  I believe at one point when I woke I even though, ‘we have a bike ride scheduled for this upcoming morning shortly after we wake up......there is no way!’  I ended that ride completely decimated!   Did I mention that I DID IT?  

On Sunday I woke up pretty much dreading the scheduled morning mountain bike ride.  I knew we had to go in the morning due to plans to visit our families in the afternoon.  I luckily knew that we had planned a shorter ride.  But still, I sooo did not want to go.  When we started to watch a movie at 7am  I was secretly relieved because I was thinking that  we wouldn’t have time for the ride if we watched the whole movie.  But alas we did.  We went out to a trail  that is a bit closer to our place...the one I have  been riding as I have tried to avoid the trail of tears.  I got on the bike and immediately my legs burned like they were on fire.  I knew it wasn’t going to be a pleasant ride.  But I pushed on.   We headed up the hill and while me legs burned, it didn’t seem quite so difficult. It was really odd to be hurting more but handling the trail better than ever.   The trail kinda flew by.  Jason even mentioned that my speed had increased since the last time we were on the trail.  Before I knew it, I was at the top of the trail!  What????? I have had to walk a portion of that trail each time recently (I did manage to ride it once without walking last August....and I pretty much collapsed with exhaustion at the end of the trail!).   So I had a victory on Sunday, even though I was so tired and achy!   I managed to ride the trail without stopping...and it seemed, well kinda easier!!!

Two victories!!!!  Two HUGE victories!   I have also managed to continue making good choices with my eating.  I again passed up the chick fil a milkshake and  the cookie from Jimmy Johns.   I did have a small piece of cake that my mom made.  So I did splurge a bit...but it was controlled and only ONCE! Oh and did I mention that I burned mad calories bike riding?  And did I mention that my calories each day was only  about 1500 calories...kinda what my garmin said burned on the Saturday bike trip alone!  

So it was quite the victorious weekend.  Now it’s time to rock the work week.  I plan on focusing on the fact that what I do is a choice...and I can indulge with unhealthy choices or I can do the healthy choice that will bring me closer fo a healthier life.   Oh and yes...this week after work..I plan hope to exercise after work!  

Fat versus muscle

The weekend is drawing closer and I couldn’t be more excited. The work week has been a long one and i am ready to relax and enjoy life!

We have been talking a lot about work life balance.  We don’t have a good balance and honestly I am not sure how to get it.  My commute sucks up so much time of my day.  I leave the house at 6:30AM and if I’m luck I get home at 5:30.   That is dependent upon. It getting tied up at work completing a task and of course the never ending rush time traffic.  On Thursday it was a combination of both and I didn’t get home until 6:30.   Make dinner, eat, clean up and voila...it’s bedtime...because that alarm is going to wail in my ear at that ungodly morning hour!  For this reason, I again struggled with exercise after work.  Grrrr!  It is also the reason that we are so protective of our weekend time together...making the most of what we get!

Yes, I am so looking forward to the weekend!  Yup, even though Jason is making talks of going back to the trail that I I have dubbed the ‘trail of tears’ after this experience and that experience    Of course it frightens me, but...well....I won’t conquer it if I don’t go and ride it...over and over!

I managed to keep my weight within a pound of my lower weight this week, no nasty jump up!  I was tickled and hope to have a stellar weigh in tomorrow morning!  But even better?  All week long I have been receiving compliments.  I have had four different people, at different times tell me how I look like I’m losing weight...slimming down.  Uhhh?  Yeah, no weight lost...but thanks a bunch!  Seriously, the first day it happened twice...I was ready to vow that I would wear that outfit every day of the week!  Because surely it had to be the outfit...right?

  But I have been working my tail off on the weekends and keeping my food under control.   I know that muscle weights more than fat.  I also know that my muscles have been working HARD when I ride and that those neglected muscles are growing and coming back.   So honestly, maybe...just maybe I AM losing fat but gaining muscle.   Totally feasible.  In terms of my weight maybe it has just been an even exchange...lose a pound of fat and gain a pound of muscle!  But in terms of mass, a pound of fat is greater than a pound of muscle...so that would account for the unexplained ‘slimming’ look.    Either way, I’ll take it...people are noticing a difference...so that’s a good sign.  As for the scales....they will figure it out sooner or later.   (And the bonus...those muscles will burn more and more fat!!)

This week has been easier.  I have been focusing on the ‘choices’ concept. The idea is that  that everything I do is a choice.  So think about it as you have two options...indulge or lose weight.  (When talking about eating something unhealthy).  I was in the cafeteria yesterday. (I had PLANNED to splurge for lunch...it was rainy so I wasn’t walking and I knew that my planned dinner would allow for the calories in my chosen lunch).  I saw the chips and I chose the baked chips at 140 calories versus the ones I normally get which are 300 calories!  I chose to stick with my water.  And the biggest choice of all?  I certainly saw the Reece’s cups.  But I CHOSE to forego.   I knew that if I wanted them, that I could have them.  No one is telling me to not eat them.  I could work it into my daily calorie budget if I really wanted. But the choice was mine. And when I thought about it I realized that the fleeting pleasure of the candy was not worth it.  It was my choices that brought me to this weight.  It will be my choices that take me away from this weight.    Now tomorrow, I may make a different choice.  I may have more calories to play with.  I may decide to indulge for any number of reasons. But that day in the cafeteria, I chose health.  It was really quite empowering.

So that was my week...choices for health and that ever present unhealthy work life balance.   And this weekend...let’s see how the mountain biking goes!  

Choices: decisions that will bring success in my fitness levels

Every day we make choices. I would like to think that I make wise choices. But then again, I weigh just shy of 250 pounds so apparently I don’t always make wise choices. I am trying to change that. I was proud of some of the choices that I made this past weekend. While I am not happy with one of the choices I have come to make, I know that it is probably for the best.

Good choices over the weekend. In my last post, I wrote about my choice to not get the cookie at Jimmy John’s. I also wrote about my choice to not get the super high calorie, albeit tasty milkshake from a popular fast food chain. I was trying to break the barrier of that weekly rise of the scales  What am I talking about, I seem to have a pattern where my weight drops during  the work week… It’s very low during the weekend… And then it’s back up high again on Monday. I don’t like that pattern. So I made choices this week to try to break that pattern.While the choices that I did make were still not perfect (I made edible cookie dough for myself in a very small batch which was a much lower calorie count than the other options), I did not see my weight rise by the typical 3 pounds.   I am within a pound...so maybe a bit of a jump on the scales, but NOT the three pound jump!       I will take that as a successful choice.

I had that meltdown on the bike, while riding the trail of tears. I was four or five miles from the car. I had a choice to make. I could walk the bike out of the woods or I could ride out of the woods. I rode, I made a choice and I got back on that bike and I rode. I am very proud of that choice. I turned a failure into a success… OK maybe not a success but I at least kept the failure from not being absolute and complete. A good choice!

Sooo here comes the big choice that I have been contemplating!   I miss running.  I made a vow a few weeks back to start running again.  I meant it from the bottom of my heart.  The problem?  I am being pulled in two different directions.  I am riding my heart out on the weekends.  I come home decimated.   Ok, that’s a bit too over dramatic.   But I come home tired!   Running on top of that is just not wise or even really feasible.   I can do one but then the other suffers.  If I run in the morning my legs are already half dead by my bike ride and vice versus.  Sooo...I have had to come to a conclusion.   Right now, my focus is on riding. If there by chance is a day when no bike ride happens, well then I will go out for a run.  It won’t be a fast run or any great run.  In fact that day may be mostly walking.   In time when I start to feel amazing on the bike (or if we have to slow down the biking at any point for some unknown reason) I will THEN add running into the mix as a priority.  Right now however, I feel as if  I am spreading myself too thin if I try to conquer both of them at the same time.  .   I want to be successful at both but I will be only partially successful and it will take a lot longer if I try to split my time and focus.  That means that for me, right here and now, I need to focus on just one.   So biking it is!  It was a choice...and I’m prettty sure it is a good one. 

This doesn’t mean that I am giving up on the running.  NO!  Im just pushing that to the back burner.  If I have a day where I’m not on my bike when I should be, running it is.  I will enjoy the run and wait for the day when I can have the bike thing under control and be able to give running my all!   The bonus for when I start running?  My cardio fitness will be strong due to the riding, my legs will be strong due to the riding.  I will be one step ahead of the game.  But for now,  one thing  at a time as I make myself fit and strong!   

If happened again: Mountain Bike Meltdown

We had another fabulous weekend.   Hey, what can I say, we enjoy each second together!!!  This weekend was full of bike riding, a few errands, lots of time together and some choices.   So much happening!  

Choices

Last weekend I decided to splurge and get a chic fil a milkshake on Saturday.  Those things are so tasty!    They are also ungodly high in calories.  Last weekend I also had a cookie from Jimmy Johns on Friday and a cookie for Jersey Mike’s on Sunday! (Both are sandwich/sub shops) Honestly, I should have been ok.  I burned mad calories with the biking.  But...I didn’t drop weight.   SO...this weekend I made some tough choices.   On Friday night of this weekend when we got subs from Jimmy Johns ...I did NOT get a cookie!  On Saturday when Jason got a milkshake...I did NOT order one!  I made the choice to not blow that many calories!   I did make myself a small batch of edible cookie dough and I thoroughly enjoyed that....with far fewer calories!!!   Will it have the desired affect?  This upcoming week will tell on the scales!   But, choices  were made and I am happy with my choices!!!

Relaxing

How in the world have I made it to this age and never seen the Rambo movies?   Especially since it is based after  a book by one of my favorite authors.  Well this weekend I began my induction into The Rambo movies.   Yup, I’m way behind the times.  But we enjoyed relaxing on the couch together.

Saturday bike ride

On Saturday we went out to the ‘hard’ trail that I have no emotional problems with and that I rode last weekend.  Yes, it was still tough!  But I did it...and I can slowly see improvements.  Slow.  But there are signs!   It was not a bad ride at all!

Sunday and the Trail of Tears

Riding high on my successful rides on the Little Bennet trail (the trail and park we have been riding the last few rides) I decided to give the lake trail that I have been totally dreading a try on Sunday.   Jason has been REALLY anxious to ride this trail.  I could certainly do it...right?  I had a blast  all morning giving Jason grief and talking about how I was heading to the death march...yes like a Nazi prisoner of war!   Oh, I had the comments and loved every second of laughing about it.   After all,   I was SURE I could do this trail!

We started out and immediately and I was shocked!   The trail starts with a hill right out of the gate.  Last year I had to walk it.  On this day, it was...dare I say easy?    My legs burned here and there as we got going but I wasn’t too miserable!  In fact, it might have been a wee little bit fun!  (I know...kinda shocked me too.). It started to get hard though.   Seriously...that trail is all climbing.  Climb and then 3 seconds of downhill bliss and then back to climbing.   I never had enough time on the downhill for my heart rate to slow down...it was beating like crazy! 

The ride wasn’t without trauma.  I decided to try a stream crossing and went a bit haywire and I had to put my foot down.  Right in the stream.  I lost my balance because there stream was...well...wet and slippy.   As I struggled to catch my balance my pants caught on the seat of my bike....rrrrriiiipppp!  From the inside hem up through the crotch and back down to the other legs hem was ripped clear through.  My thigh took a beating too!  

A while later after crossing a stream (on foot) I went to get back on my bike and found some sharp wire that impaled my knee.   All the while  doing what felt like continually climbing.  

Regardless I pushed on.  Finally we made it to the location where I had a meltdown last October    I was so proud of myself...but I was TIRED!   We kept going...on and on.  My heart rate was constantly high, my shoulder was hurting (nope, still not totally healed from this injury yet), my foot was still wet and I was dripping blood.  (Ok we had bandaid so I only dripped blood for a half mile or so). And then it happened, I started to focus on the fact that I was already wiped out and the ride wasn’t even half over.   We were still about 2 miles from the turn around point.  Ohh yes, this was an out and back ride!  I started to struggle more and more.  Admittedly I know that some of my issue was a mental struggle as I focused on the miles ahead of me.    Oh and have I mentioned that it seemed like this infernal trail was constant inclines?

At one point Jason remarked that I looked angry.  I just smiled through gritted teeth and kept riding.  You see, at that point I was about ready to lose my cool! Ok,internally I already had lost it!  But I didn’t want to disappoint him.  He really wanted to do this trail and I didn’t want to let him down.  Yet that blasted trail kept winding upward to the heavens. (Ok so maybe I’m being a big melodramatic...but we did have 1300 feet of climbing....have I mentioned that I weigh just shy of 250 pounds and that I’m not as fit as I was a few years ago? The trail was also never ending and hard for me!!   Ok, the climbing ended..I’m sure....but the turn around point was at the same mileage that I had been riding the last few rides.  In essence I would be doubling my mileage.  The shorter miles during previous rides had wiped me out....and here I was doubling my mileage overnight!  I was already wiped out and we weren’t even halfway yet!

The tears started.  Do you know how hard it is to climb a hill on your bike.....while your heart rate is beating out of control.....while you are crying? No,  you’ve never had the pleasure?  Well don’t!  It’s hard!!!

Finally I had enough.  I brought my bike to a screeching halt. (Ok my brakes don’t screech but you get the idea!). I  got off my bike as quickly as I could (without allowing my flapping shorts to catch on the seat...that’s harder to do than you think!).  I let the bike drop...right in the middle of the trail and wailed ‘I don’t like this stupid trail!’  I am sure I said a couple other things...but things were blurry at that moment.  I do remember jason saying ‘we are done...no more’. (Ha...we were five miles in...I wasn’t done...I had to get out off of that stupid trail somehow!).   I also remember him picking my bike up from the middle of the trail and moving it off the trail to a safe spot.  He also had me move to a safer place...not on the edge of a narrow trail right after a blind corner.  And that is where I sat for who knows how long.  Yes...I cried!

It was ugly!  Jason sat beside me the whole time....trying to make me laugh!

And he did succeed.   Even as I babbled about my wet foot, my torn shorts, my bruised thigh, my wound on my knee and of course the never ending climbing he had me laughing.

Yes I better put a good picture of him after his goofy one...just to prove that I have a normal man and not some weirdo!

Eventually I had to do it.  I had to get back on that bike and get myself back out of the woods and back to the car.  Back in October when I had my meltdown I pretty much totally walked out of the woods.  I was determined that I was not caving, I may have had a meltdown but I wasn’t going to let it totally decimate me!   I got back on that bike and I rode that blasted trail of tears back to the car.  Now don’t get too excited.  I did get off and walk about 3 times...for about 20 seconds each time.   And even while I was riding I was SLOW!  I wish I could /would have rode the whole way out...but I am very proud that I rode most of it!

The weekend was a good one.  Even with the trail of tears, it was good.   I was able to see my bike riding abilities very clearly this week.   Each time I ride I see a place to focus on and things I need to improve.  I can even see minor improvements.  I still fear the trail of tears.  It is my nemesis!  But I KNOW that I will conquer it!   I just won’t attempt the whole thing at at once...next time I will just make it my goal to get a half mile further before I cry!  

Health results versus weight

This week hasn’t been a failure.   Not really.  Although I certainly feel like a failure this Friday morning!   

Tracking

Let’s start with the victory first.  I tracked every bite of food!  I am proud of what I ate!  My calories were in check!  For the total calories you can see my weekend was over.

But when you add in my exercise (my bike rides and runs...not my lunchtime walks) I was totally perfect!

I do know my dinners had carbs. (Pasta a few nights). But that was my only carbs for the day so I should have been ok!

Weight

So with my food in check, let’s see how my weight stacks up this week.  Grrrrr!  Well...I’m up!   I do know that I have this recurring pattern that has been going on for a while   I am down on Friday and Saturday but then pop up through the work week.  Yes I know that my higher eating on the weekends contribute...but look at the figures above...my net calories is lower...even though my intake is much higher.    So this morning I sit at 250.0. 2 pounds up.  Grrr!   (The morning was off, in terms of my daily....ahem, routine so that affects the weight....so I do expect it to be lower shortly!)

Exercise

I kinda nailed this first week.  Kinda!   I ran twice in this last week, once after work!  I rode my bike twice (hard rides over the weekend) and I walked every lunch break and every 15 minute break!   

I did something once after work...but wimped our the other evenings!!! 

So that is a total victory.   The failure is the after work workouts.  I need to get that into place!

So there you have it.   My weight is up, and while I do expect it to drop back to the lower weight, it is still totally disheartening!    But I did good for my body this week in my tracking and the movement that I did do!    Maybe I’m grasping at straws but I’m hoping the higher weight/more of a maintain  is also indicative of muscle growth...I know my muscles have had a workout and that they have been sore!   It’s plausible.  I did also have someone tell me yesterday that I looked like I was slimming down.   Plausible again...but I don’t see it.      Either way, I am going to continue pushing forward!   I KNOW that I am making strides toward being healthier and that counts...even if my weight doesn’t!!!

Best time to work out: mornings or nights?

As I am trying to get back into the swing of things with my work outs I have been struggling.  I struggle with work day workouts!  It is nuts!   Weekends seem to be no problem, but work days...ugggh!  I realized the issue on the weekend....it is all about when is the best time to work out?

I am one of these people that researches a subject  when I come up with a question.  I google.  I buy books and read. I talk to experts. So it should be no surprise to hear that I have researched the question of when is the best time of day to workout.  I’ll even tell you the answer that I found.  But then later I will give you MY conclusion!  

The typical finding when you read about this subject is that a morning workout is best.  The theory is that after  your long sleep aka 8 plus hour fast, your body is primed to burn fat...so this is a good time to exercise because it will prompt more fat burning.  There are also proponents that say that morning exercise is best because it wakes up the body in preparation for you sat  versus Stimulating our bodies when our bodies should be powering down in preparation for sleep.  

I have mostly always followed the morning routine for other reasons.  I have always prescribed to the morning workout because morning workouts just naturally fit into my work schedule.  I enjoyed it because it gave me a boost of energy to start my day.  I started the day proud of my accomplishment and ready to conquer the world.  It just worked.  Even better it fit in with what the so called experts said!    

But what about those evening workouts? 

I experienced my first consistent evening workout plan when I started to attend a Zumba class after work.  Very quickly I learned that even though there was time for me to stop by my house after work to change and relax for a few minutes...that I could NOT do that.  I had to change at work and drive straight past my house.  I would sit in the parking lot at zumba for a half hour and read a book.  Why?  If I went home the process of leaving to go workout out....well...it just didn’t happen.....I talked myself out of it!

As I began to make friends at my zumba class, it became much easier to go to the class.  I had accountability. My friends would be asking and contacting me if I wasn’t there.  AND if I didn’t go I missed the camaraderie.    I didn’t want to miss that class  for anything!    I still changed my clothes at work...but that was because my friends also got there early and we enjoyed that half hour of chitchat. The accountability and partnership took away any chance of me talking myself out of the evening workout.

So I switched jobs a few years ago.  My Zumba class also closed down, so the evening workout wasn’t happening.  I tried the morning workout.   Seriously, I did!  But my new schedule already hade waking up at 5am.  So crawling out of bed at 4 in the morning is ROUGH and left me exhausted!  Not to mention the fact that I don’t like to run in pitch dark! I just don’t feel safe!    Ugggghhh!  So that pushed me back to evening workouts!  As I mentioned earlier, I struggle with evening workouts. It is hotter outside. I’m tired after a long day. I want to get working on preparing dinner.  And a whole slew of other reasons that sidetrack me.  But that is what fits into my life right now.  I struggle with the evening workouts.   I cheer when it’s rainy and I have to forego it!  I talk myself out of going.  I invent aches and pains and feel excessive tiredness....it really is a struggle!

So, what is my conclusion for when is the best time to exercise?    We need to do what ever is best for our personality AND what is best for our lifestyle and schedule.  While I like morning workouts much better, that doesn’t fit for me right now.  That means that evening workouts is where it is at for me at this point in my life.      I may not burn as much fat in the evening but I am still burning some fat.  I am still making my body better and healthier!   But I will tell you this....I love the weekends when I can get out and get that workout done in the morning, and hey...maybe I’m burning a wee bit more fat on those workouts!!!

I still walk on my lunch break…(even when my zipper is down the whole circuit of the lake...like it was on Tuesday...SMH) 

But I really am trying to work in those evening workouts… Just like I did on Monday night when I proudly managed to get in a run...yes it made the evening quite hectic...but I did it!

So when is the best time to workout?  It’s not when a book tells you to work out.  It’s not when an expert says to get moving.   The best time to workout is the time that you can and WILL consistently get out there and do it!  If that is during your hour lunch break....that’s awesome!  If it is in the mornings.  Great!   If a workout isn’t possible until 10PM...then go for it!  Just workout!!!!!!

Fears: the incredible way it affects our workouts

We had another busy weekend.   We took time to relax but we also continued on with working on our quests to get and remain active.  I think we succeeded!  While we were out there working it though, I had to come to terms with a big fear that I have....or at least accepted its presence in my life and it’s effect on me. 

On Saturday morning I woke up and immediately headed out for a run.   I am working on the C25K program again.   I started with week two and Saturday was my first day to do week three.   It was a piece of cake and I didn’t feel as if I worked hard at all.

I completed it and added in about two minutes extra running.  I am toying with jumping ahead to week 4....but then again if I complete week three maybe it will help my speed increase. Hmmm decisions!   

This past Saturday was our bi weekly shopping trip day, so we spent a good portion of the morning with those tasks.  But shortly after lunch we were ready to head out....and that is where the fear reared its ugly head!    Jason has been wanting to go ride the trail by the lake.   Uhhh. Yeah.   This is the trail that I had a mental breakdown on last fall, if you have a desire to read about it and see pictures of me sitting along the trail fighting tears you can check it out here .   But the end result is that  I have a very real this fear of the place!  Dread coursed through me all morning as I anticipated this trail ride!  When we got there it was packed!   We went elsewhere!  Whew...dodged that bullet!  And I was so happy and relieved! But....while we had said that if it was busy that we would default to the flat canal, I did decide to push it and we went to a different trail.  It is also a trail that I have previously been on.   In fact it was a trail where I had incredible victory last August when I pushed myself to conquer the trail, which you can read about here .  I wasn’t dreading this trail...even though I was still concerned about my diminished fitness levels AND this pinched nerve issue.   

We completed the trail and while it was difficult, I didn’t hate it!  I also didn’t end up sitting on the edge of the trail crying!  (That’s a win!). Jason rode with me (of course) and he just laughed at me and my willingness to ride that particular trail but not the lake trail.   Why?   Because the trail that I was happily attacking (it was rough...for sure!) is ten times more difficult than the lake trail that I fear!   The lake trail is very flowy and smooth.  Short inclines followed by short downhills...and a pretty smooth path.   The one that we rode had some longer downhills...which meant a LOT of climbing!   Yet there I was pushing through.   (Ok yeah, so I got off the bike and walked four  times...for about 1-2 minutes each time!).   

Fear of that stupid lake...it’s all mind over matter. I know it...I know my fear is somewhat irrational!  Yet it is debilitating.  I can go to another trail without the dread. I can ride a a tough trail (not the lake) and take the negatives as points to work on and as a benchmark for improvement.  Yet I think of the lake and I tense up in fear and absolute certainty that it will be an absolute failure!  Fear really affects everything.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I headed out on my bike on that lake trail on Saturday that it would have been a failure.  My mind would have worked against me and MADE it a failure!  It is a self fulfilling prophecy!  I experienced it on my run from last Tuesday when I went out thinking it was going to be a rough run....and it was. No Matter what happened, my mind would have turned any ride at the lake into a failure. Every negative would have been magnified 100%!  Because, the  key to success with exercise is all in our mental state!

 So what is the plan?  Are we going back to kill that demon of a lake?  Of course!    But not quite yet.  We are going to hit up the harder trail that I don’t fear for a few weeks. First of all, it is not at all crowded (probably because it is more difficult...the only other bike rider we saw was on one of those assisted motor bikes).  But secondly we will stay there for a bit  because it is pushing both of us.  The plan?  Ride that consistently for a few weeks and when I conquer that I can head to the lake with confidence and riding high on that confidence AND on my improved fitness levels.   The small climbs on the lake trail will be ‘nothing’ .....in theory!

Sunday I woke up and my weight was up a bit.  I did indulge in a milkshake on Saturday...and I had sore muscles so I wasn’t too concerned. (I was up 0.8 of a pound to 248.0).  I decided to not run so that my legs would not be shot before I eve got on the bike!  I did howeve have a vague idea of going for an evening run if I had the energy. 

On Sunday we headed out to the same difficult trail that we rode on Saturday.  My leg muscles  were already super wore out when we started....but I pushed through.  I pushed so much in fact that I actually had to get off the bike and walk less times then I had just the day before!   It was hard but I did it!!!  I was still slow, in fact I joked that my speed is negative 3 mph.  But while I was slow....I could see improvememt!!

I was whipped...that’s why when I got home I didn’t go out running!  But while I wanted to run....the ride was more than enough activity!   I still totally ‘won’ in terms of my activity for Sunday.

It wasn’t until Sunday evening that I realized I failed though!  I failed to snap any pictures!!! It is a fail for this post (luckily I got a running selfie) and it is a fail for our yearly memory book that I put together!  Hmmmm....must improve!!!  A memory book?  Every year I create a book (I use blurb) with a combination of pictures, paragraphs depicting our activities and even written stories remembering crazy things that happen. It runs from each anniversary  of our first date...November 20th and I print it (and save a digital copy for both of us).  That is always one of Jason’s Christmas gifts.   When we moved in together he very clearly said ‘that isn’t stopping now is it because I want to keep doing it and I can help!  It’s the best project ever!  And yes we both go back and read the books!

So I had a super active weekend. I ran and rode my bike...hard difficult riding!   And while I haven’t conquered the fear, I have come to terms with it and come up with a plan to prepare myself to conquer that fear AND succeed when I make that attempt!!!

Revealing the number: admitting my weight

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This past weekend I had a startling revelation. It was in regards to my weight loss and my efforts… OK maybe my lack of weight loss and my regain. I have been very open about admitting that I have gained weight. I am very honest about the struggles to lose weight. However, I have been very close lipped about exactly where I am at. Oh, I know exactly where I am at. I just haven’t wanted to say the words and numbers. This weekend I did and while doing it, I realized that it was an injustice to myself to keep it quiet. So here we are, the end of the month and it’s time for my goal review and time to set new goals for the next month. Is there a better time to have the grand reveal of my true ugly current weight?  Nope, I didn’t think so either!!!

So let’s start with the weight thing.  Jason and I were riding our bikes this past weekend and we started to talk about changes that we want to make in our life. Changes to make us better…healthy changes.  My big change is that I need to get this weight off my body. I am getting older, and this excess weight is going to come back to haunt me sooner or later.  We talked about how everything is harder for me because of these excess pounds I carry. (Running and biking in particular!)  Typical of how I have handled my weight lately, I skirted the subject of what my weight actually is....just alluding to the excess pounds.  I skirted it for a while..until he asked me flat out what I weigh.  (The question was born from his love for me and his desire for me to be healthy and happy.). I hesitated and actually said ‘you don’t want to know’.   But yes he did.  So I admitted it.  As of that morning my weight weight was 249 pounds.  Ouch!  That hurt to say!!!    We carried on and he didn’t wreck his bike in shock...which is what was halfway expecting!  Lol. He just said, “WE need to work on that so that you can live a long healthy life but mostly because I know it bothers YOU’

How’s that for support?  Yup, he’s a keeper!   

After I admitted my weigh it became less of an albatross around my neck!  I’ve admitted it...so now I aim fix it!!!  I even admitted it to a coworker who was talking about her weight a day or two later...yes I’m free from the hiding!   So, don’t they say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem (forgive me for totally botching the twelve step program 13 step program!).   But yes, I feel relieved to actually have it out there.   So here I am.  I have admitted. Next step please!

It’s  hard to believe that May is almost over. That means it’s time to look back to May’s goals and see how I did… Here we go!

1. Track every bite of food!    I went rogue during the middle of the month and didn’t track a bite for about two weeks!  Boooo!
2.  Put money into my savings. Done...barely a success...I spent a fair amount of money this month!!!  The only way I’m having any success is because this is my month to have three paychecks!  
3.  Weigh less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!   As of right now, it is looking like it...barely though!!!   (Those darn pesky two weeks in the middle of the month!!!)
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week.   I have admittedly struggled with this.  The second half of the month became more consistent due to my lunchtime walks.   But I’m aiming to get better in June!!

5. Keep my eating in check for at least 6 days a week. I  have no clue since I didn’t track most of the time!!

6.  Walk at least an average of 5 k steps a day...The first part of the month was sketchy. I only hit or exceeded my goal 6 times in the first 15 days.  However starting on May 16th I rocked the step count!  I only missed it twice and most days I was closer to 7k steps!  (As for the two below 5k days, we were on our bikes those days so does that count as a fail??). 

My goals for June are somewhat similar, with one or two small tweaks… 

1. Track every bite of food! 
2.  Put money into my savings. 
3.  Weigh less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!   As of the 31st of May that number is 247.2.
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week and at least two runs a week.

5. Keep my eating in check for at least 6 days a week. 

7.   Walk at least  of 5 k steps a day at least five days a week..no more average for the month!!!

8.  Transparency with my weight...even if it goes up!!! (Not gonna.. thisis my month!!!)

So it’s in the open!   My weight is out there for the world to see.  My plans are laid for June!    No more hiding...no matter what!   Yeah, I've got this!!!

Lets start Doing this Running Thing......again

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I have honestly missed running.  For quite a while it was a pretty important part of my life...and a pretty regular aspect!   But then life got in the way and I just didn't have the time to do it.  I found that I really missed it!  I also found that my fitness levels were decreasing the longer I went without running.  So I decided....the time is NOW!  It is time (past time) to get back to it and get in shape!   What better time than a long 5 day weekend to start!  Two runs over the course of a five day weekend...I could certainly do that. Right?  Let's see how I did!

The first run:  And I use the Term run loosely

Friday morning was the first day of my long weekend and I was determined to start.  I had a mixture of excitement and dread coursing through my veins when I woke up.   However, I was determined to do it.  I had announced it to the world and to myself and it was time to keep my promise.  (Plus, I had just purchased this really cool new toy, which I wrote about last week in this post that was ultimately to help me manage my stats during running...so maybe I should actually get some use out of this toy....my new Garmin Instinct.)

The first problem I encountered was finding my Run Buddy. (Affiliate Link)  A run buddy is a pouch that can hold keys and cellphone (or whatever).  It is attached to your pants with magnets and does not flop around....this thing is AMAZING!   Honestly, everyone that has ever seen or used mine in person has gone out to get their own!  It is absolutely the BEST way to keep your phone secure and on your person!  But I digress by singing it's praises.....my Run buddy was missing!   I know that I had used it while hiking in some pants that didn't have pockets a while back....but it wasn't where I thought it was.  It wasn't anywhere!  I looked!  DRAT.  Oh well...I would just have to hold my cell phone in my hand....and my pepper spray in the other hand ...and my keys.....wow this run just got complicated didn't it?   (And as a side note, I believe I will be clicking my own affiliate link.....is that even allowed? to buy another run buddy because I'm NOT happy with the complicated issues of going without it!)   But I didn't let the lack of my run buddy keep me from running.  Out I went!

Oh my word....was that ever brutal!  I didn't even make it 5 minutes before I needed a break from running. So I switched to intervals.  But then my shins starting hurting....my feet hurt.  Just shoot me now is what I was thinking!    I had to end up walking the second half of the run.    And you know what?  I was ok with that.  For a very brief moment I thought about turning off my brand new garmin...but then I told myself NO!  I wanted to memorialize this run.....er jog......uhhh walk!    I needed and now have  a baseline to start from.  It can only improve if I just show some consistency!

 So yeah, it was U.G.L.Y!   I'm sure it was because of the stress of losing my run buddy...right??  No....your not going to buy that???   Would you believe that the issues were caused by the fact that I was out there and then realized that I had not brought headphones so it was a quiet run?   Yeah, not buying that one either....neither am I?  Ok, it was ugly because I let myself slip into this state of disrepair!   But I'm ok with this.....I have my starting point..the line is drawn in the sand...now it's time to improve!

Run Two: return to an old friend 

I tell you, I am determined.  So the very next day, on Saturday I headed out for run two of the new reimagined me.   This time I went with headphones!   Ahhh that made all the difference in the world!  Ok ok ok, it made it more enjoyable! It however did not make me run like a gazelle!  I was still...slow!  (Why yes, I was wearing the same shirt...I did laundry on Friday afternoon and this one was at the top of the pile on Saturday when I went to get dressed...I wasn’t thinking of my photo op!!). But notice I’m at least smiling in this picture!

What made this run so much better?   I had an epiphany in the middle of the night before this run.   Why not pull up the C25K app and go through that training again!   I saw the plan for the  first week and decided that I needed something a bit more challenging.  Week three looked too challenging based on my first run.  So week two it was!   The plan for week two is to alternate....jog 90 seconds and then walk 2 minutes...back and forth for 20 minutes.  That is what I set out to do! It was a good success.  I was ready to walk each time my walk segment came up....but I knew I could probably have pushed a bit longer.  So I decided to push myself a little on my last run segment. I ran the 90 seconds.  When the app alerted me to walk, I kept running.  So my last run segment was actually 3 minutes and 30 seconds!  It was hard!  But I am glad I pushed myself!    I returned home feeling more confident about embarking on this journey!!!!

Run theee:  Day three of my 5 day weekend

Why yes, I did go out running the third day of my long weekend.   I was happy with the C25K plan from the day before, so I followed that plan again, completing day two of week two.   I did notice that my legs were a bit heavy on this run, but that’s not too shocking considering I had been running for three days straight after a long hiatus of nothing.  The previous two days I had not experienced any horrible aches or pains as a result of my runs so I knew that I was good to go for day theee.  This day was the same intervals as the previous day and I did the same thing, I pushed myself and ran the last run interval AND I ran through the last walk interval.  I was rewarded with a bush of orange roses right when my run was completed and As I was heading into my cooldown stage.

It amused me when I realized that I matched the rose bush!

That wasn’t the end of day three of my vacation  exercise/activity though.  Oh no!  We headed out on our bikes for a bike ride a bit later in the day! I was setting the pace on the out and back ride.  When we got to the point that we had about three miles left, I pushed hard. I picked up the pace  and really worked.  I wanted to challenge myself!

That evening my legs were sore.  From the muscles that were achy I could tell it was the cause the bike ride (and probably the last three miles where I was in my top gear and cranking like a mad woman).  

Knowing that we planned to get back on our bikes on Monday, I started to think about not running on Monday...a day of rest (from running) would probably be wise.

Run None: Day four of the long weekend

Ahhh. Day four.  Slow down weekend, it’s going by too fast!!!   I decided to stick with my plan to not run this day.   It wasn’t a day of rest though.  We still had a long bike ride and we took a walk!  So quite a bit of activity!  Alas...I was enjoying the weather and even more importantly the company (of course when I say we...I mean Jason and I!) and didn’t even think of a picture!   My legs were wiped out by the end of day four!   Achy and shaky!  Those are the adjectives to describe the muscles in my legs on Monday night!  Yeah, it felt good!!!

Day five: another run???

Day five arrived.  It came so fast!!!!!  Jason had to go back to work!  (Boooo....I wish he had off work off with me!). I didn’t have much planned for this day.   Some light cleaning, laundry, making a pan of lasagna, etc. the rest of the day was spent relaxing and working  on my dollhouses.   However I did have one order of business.  A run!   I woke up at the normal time and got dressed in my running clothes.   I planned to hang out with Jason until he left for work and then head out for my run.   It was after I was dressed that the monsoon rain started.  Uhhhh...this may not be good!  

I fiddled around for a few hours in the morning.  I did some laundry. I worked on my dollhouses.i delayed that run.  Let me tell you, I did NOT want to go.   I was convinced that my legs were too sore and that this should be a lazy day for me!   But then the next minute I would tell myself that I would regret it should I skip it.   So I went out.    It wasn’t fun.  I was sore.  I ran slow (slower than I had two days earlier).   I just wasn’t feeling it AT ALL!

But I did it.  I am proud of myself for facing it and doing it. I do have to wonder how much of the pain and ‘not feeling it’ was based on my predictions when I was trying to talk myself out of it.  Some self fulfilled prophecy kinda deal.  

Who knows.  But I managed to run 4 of the five days of my long weekend.  I also managed two bike rides.  I count that as a success.  I have the momentum going....now I just need to continue!!!  I’ve got this!!!!

Upbeat Friday: A long weekend

This is my kind of Friday! I actually am off work today. I took a vacation day. Even better, Monday is a holiday AND I also have a vacation day on Tuesday. Yes, I am sitting at the beginning of a five day weekend. How awesome is that? I have lots of plans for my time off and I have a few things to review from this past week. So let’s get to it!

My weight

I am happy to say and announce that my weight is at the lower weight that I experienced earlier this month.  While I have officially not lost weight this month, I have not gained weight either. That two week 7 pound gain that I talked about in this post is in the past. I do still have one week left in the month. So I am not quite ready to call this month a maintain yet.

Exercise

I have actually done a great job with walking on my lunch breaks this week. I have actually also been able to get outside and walk a few steps during my 15 minute breaks. While this is not earth shattering in intensity, it is at least movement and activity....and it gets me outside. Even when I have to share the walking path/boardwalk!

Last weekend was quite active. We hiked and we biked. We both talked about how good it felt to be active. We aim To continue that trend this weekend.

I am mostly better from the cold I have had this week. My shoulder  pain well, I think it’s on the mend. So, I plan on starting this weekend, today actually, to start running again. After all, I bought a new Garman watch and I want to use the features.

Food

This is a bit of a convoluted answer in terms of success versus failure. My actual food intake has not been bad. I have remained quite cognizant of what I am eating. I have not eaten a lot of junk or a lot of snacks and extra food which is what usually drives my calorie count high. That is successful. I have however, not tracked one bite of food for the last two weeks until Wednesday of this week. For me this will eventually snowball into a dangerous territory of me eating and not being cognizant. Luckily, my new Garman watch links up with my fitness pal. The new toy, the watch, sparked me to go back in and start entering my food again.

I am still doing the intermittent fasting. I did have one or two days right after the arm issue and starting to take the medication that I was just hungry and gave up and had breakfast. However, after a day or two I went right back to the 16; eight intermittent fasting plan. It really does work well for my schedule and how I prefer to eat.

So that’s my week in review!  I have so many things I want to get done this long weekend.  Most of them will be squashed into Friday and Tuesday to allow for the most optimum time with Jason out exploring and living life!  What’s on my agenda?

Cleaning- normal weekly cleaning but also washing the windows and baseboards and hopefully organizing the storage area.

Running-  I have plans to start running this weekend...hopefully at least Friday and Tuesday! (The other weekend days may be active enough on their own!!)

Eye appointment-  it’s that time...new contacts and new glasses!

Dollhouse- I have plans for my nursery...building a crib, toy chest and dresser.  I also need to make curtains, cushions for the rocker, bedding for the crib and a rug!    So many things!!!  I’m so excited!!   I also have wee little slideshow/video I’m putting together highlighting one of my previous dollhouses!

Writing-I need to do some writing.  I’ve got ideas and thoughts swirling in my head.  It’s time to work on them!!!

So busy busy busy!!!!  I love it!!!  It’s busy stuff for ME!!!   Happy Friday!!!!

Money Speaks: money as a motivator

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I am the kind of person that does not like to spend money...or rather I don’t like to waste my money!   I want know that what I am buying is going to be used!   Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes a bad thing...because for me, I will use a purchase to ensure that I do something.  I may hate a pair of expensive shoes, but I still continue to wear them because, ‘Hey, I spent good money on these shoes!’   So yes, spending money can motivate me to use that item.  This can be a bad thing, in the case of a pair of shoes that hurt my feet!  But it can be a really good thing if I use that ‘cheapskate’ personality to my advantage!

Years ago, I bought a bike.  I spent a pretty penny (well at the time I thought it was a pretty penny....my newest bike cost quite a bit more.....).  At that time I hadn’t ridden a bike in years upon years so maybe it was a bit foolish to spend so much money on a bike.  But I had a method to my madness.  You see, I knew that if I dropped that money for a bike, that I would USE the bike...the guilt over the money spent would ensure it!   Nope, I was  not wasting my money on something that was going to collect dust and never get used!  And it worked!  I rode that bike heavy for the first year or two.  The motivation wears off once the product is past the, ‘gotta get my money worth stage’.  But the motivation is strong at first...and in the case of the bike, it allowed me to fall in love with biking and to get into the groove!!  This has worked multiple times over the years.  Proven method for me! 

So this cheapskate that I am has been saying for MONTHS about how I want to get back to running.  I have been lamenting about how I miss running!   But I just haven’t done it!   So I have added a wee itty bitty motivator!!!

I have LOVED my Fitbit Alta. (Affiliate link).  But it’s getting old and the battery is starting to need charged more and more (ok after 2.5 years I have to recharge it ever 4 days versus every 8 days!). It needed to be replaced...sooner or later. I thought about another Alta.  I thought about the Versa.  I even thought about an I watch .   But I kept going back to a garmin watch....simply because ‘if I ever start to run again, a garmin would be the best’.   I have even vowed to start running and then get the watch.  (Yeah that doesn’t work for this cheapskate!!). 

So this past weekend I ante upped the money!  I ordered it from Amazon.  (Yes I include affiliate links but I am a big user of Amazon myself!). I decided upon the Garmin Instinct.   I had debated on the Fenix...but just didn’t want to spend that much money!   I found the color I wanted and one of the cheapest prices.  It is right now consistently running right at $300.  I found it on Amazon for about $10 under that  (yup another link to what I actually purchased...and it is an affiliate link)   Woohoo!  A real plus for a cheapskate like me!  I hit the button to buy it and then I waited anxiously for my shipment to arrive.   Finally the day of my shipment arrived. Typically our packages are waiting for us when we get home from work.  Wouldn’t you know...this time it wasn’t there!  I was antsy and wanted my watch!   It didn’t show up until 7:45 PM!!!   

I had time to play a bit!   Just enough to get it up and running and to figure out the basic functions!  

No I don’t have it on my arm too tight...and no my arm is not deformed...it was just a weird angle!!!  And I’m not sure why my heart rate was so high, I was just sitting there!

Soooo...now its time to get to running....as soon as I’m over the cold that has felled me the last few days!!  In the meantime....we got suckered into buying a complete series on DVD.  We have been talking a lot about those series lately...so decided to buy it!  What series?  Scooby Doo of course!!!  It will arrive tomorrow!!!  So while I’m recouping from this cold, you can find us on the couch watching Scooby Doo with a box of tissues between us!  After that...see you on a run!!!

A run in with the law: How being super active can get you in trouble

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Another weekend on the books.   We took the time to relax this weekend, as usual.  However this weekend was the first sunny and warm weekend in a while so we used it wisely and spent some time outside!  We had fun outside with biking and hiking, even with a bit of an adventure that got us in trouble with the law.

As the weekend began, we started with the routine errands.  We left the house early Saturday morning and hit the grocery stores.  Necessary evil!  After getting home I put away the groceries and took the time to clean the fruits and veggies and actually chop and prepare all of the salad items for the week.  (Everything for salad toppings is chopped and individually bagged and put in one large container...pull out the container and it’s like a mini salad bar.).  All of that was done by noon and we were ready to head out the door for some fun!

Our adventure on Saturday was to go bike riding!   We opted for the canal, an easier ride.  I was a little worried about my shoulder, an issues that I talked about in this previous post   I know that in the week proceeding the arm getting really bad that my hand had gone numb while riding, so I suspected that riding may not be a good thing for this shoulder issue.  However, I had been having very little pain so I hoped that all would be well.  But one never knows, the only thing to do was to try!    I knew almost immediatelu that biking was not going to be an awesome choice.  But I pushed through.  

Turtles in the water

By the time we were done my arm ached...ok my whole right upper quadrant ached!   I took it easy all evening and recovered...but lesson learned.  Heal completely before really spending too much time on a bike!

That isn’t snow....bring on the pollen!!!

On Sunday we relaxed a bit in the morning and did one or two quick errands before heading out.   This day we opted to go hiking.  We decided to go to Catoctin Mountain National Park.  We had a delightful time! 

The hike was harder for me than it should have been!  But that’s ok, it just emphasized my need to get fit!  What was hard?  From overlook to the base of a waterfall....that means a pretty steep incline....climbing!

Ok, maybe some of my difficulty could have been the fact that I am dealing with some sinus issue (maybe cold) and couldn’t breathe through my nose...and had drainage from my sinuses the whole time....so that does make breathing more cumbersome to begin with! But that’s an excuse...I still need to get fit!

The ‘real’ adventure started when we left the trailhead.  I was driving along and we saw a rattlesnake crossing the road.  Now let me say that I have seen snakes in the wild, but never a rattle snake.  Jason has always talked about how he would love for me to hear the rattle of a rattlesnake BEFORE we are hiking and I’m about to innocently step on one!  So we naturally pulled into a little turn around that was right by Mr. Snake. We got out and from a distance antagonized the snake (we did no harm to an animal...never would we do that!). I even grabbed a few pictures of the said snake! (I was no where close to the snake...zoom is a good thing!!)

After a few minutes we walked the five feet back to the car and that is when I realized what we had done!  We were in a turn around that was clearly marked no stopping or standing.  And there were signs that were marked no cameras.  (Technically it wasn’t a camera...it was a cellphone. Hahaha).  I told jason that we had just broken the law...he also immediately knew what we had done.  We calmly left the spot and began our drive out of the area.  About a 1/4 mile down the road a ‘park police’ vehicle was waiting for us...as soon as I saw them I knew I was getting pulled over.  They pulled out behind me and followed me a bit (long enough to run my plates?) and then the lights came on!  Let me tell you, I used to live in Sharpsburg, Md literally with the front of my property bordering the National Park Service land that was Antietam Battlefield and the back of my property bordered the C&O canal....another National Park.  I have had plenty of dealings with Park police...and these guys were NOT ‘park police’.  The two guys that got out of the ‘park police’ vehicle and approached my car (one on either side of the car making us both roll down our windows) were wearing flak vests and armed to the hilt! That is not standard park police attire!!  

If you know any government history you will have heard of Camp David.  It is the presidential retreat in the mountains west of Washington DC.  It is located....you guessed it, within the confines of the Catoctin Mountain National Park.  I have ALWAYS known it was there. My parents always had a love of the Catoctin National Park.  (In fact my mother as a child went to a camp quite near Camp David!)  It isn’t a big deal because it is just part of life for anyone that lives in that area or visits that area a lot.  When the president is in residence, roads are blocked and more security is present, but it is always under guard. (I have a friend that lives close and talks about visiting her mothers grave which is quite near and how at times she could see agents in the woods watching her as she mourned...creepy but understandable...especially in today’s day and age!).   

So yes I was ‘interrogated’ by the police (military police...secret service...whatever organizationthat they were with...just pretty sure not park police.  Hahaha) as to what I was doing so close to Camp David.  Oh they didn’t say  Camp David...they used the un-official ‘Naval Support Facility’ name.  I was very clear and told them exactly what had happened.  That we had seen the snake crossing the road and we were focused on the snake and I just wasn’t thinking and I also told them the reason we were looking at a rattle snake.  (A safe lesson in nature for me!)  I admitted to knowing about Camp David and that I just wasn’t thinking.   (I used the name Camp David and he just chuckled...he knew I knew.) I even admitted to realizing my error when we got back into the car and knowing as soon as I saw him that he was going to be pulling me over.  And yes, I admitted to taking pictures...so my cell phone was passed over, to show my photographic skills of course. (Ha)

After checking my registration, insurance and liscense they came back and gave me a verbal warning.  They were actually quite friendly....intimidating as heck though. I drove away...and then we gave into the laughter. Seriously,  I chuckled the whole way home!   Guess I used up my warning!  Wonder what the penalty is if I do it again???

So there you have it....an active adventurous weekend!!!  While the bike riding was fun, it was a bit of a bust with my bum arm.  And while the hiking was fantastic, it had a bit of an awkward ending. I am pleased though with the level of activity!  My body feels good after using and pushing myself a bit!!!  Bring on more!!!!

Aleve: was that really the cause of my weight gain?

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclaimer  for details. 

I have recently pondered if  any medication I was taking was causing a weight gain (a sudden spike in my weight).  I researched and couldn’t find any evidence of the medications I was taking to cause a weight gain.  I therefore threw up my hands and accepted my overnight gain of 7 pounds as ‘my fault’. It was totally disheartening!  It had been two weeks and I am no longer taking the medication....and I am cautiously optimistic that the weight is gone....and I think I know the culprit...prescription strength Aleve.  I am pretty sure that the Aleve was causing weight gain. 

Weight gain after taking medications

A few weeks ago I had an issue with my shoulder   When I went to the urgent care I was advised that I had a muscle issue that was inflamed and that in turn had caused a pinch nerve.  It was painful and no fun.  They prescribed medication to ease the pain and suffering and to also help alleviate the problem so that my body could heal.   I immediately started the medication regime. The medication helped the pain in my shoulder and arm!   However the pain in my heart started the next morning when I stepped on the scales and found my weight to be 7 pounds higher!  I figured it was some anomaly and that it would right itself the next day.  But that was not to be...my weight remained high!

I researched the various medications that I was on.  I saw no direct links to weight gain with any of them!  I was disheartened and disgusted....because if the medications didn’t cause my overnight spike, the fault was my own....and I couldn’t figure out what in the world else would have caused it!

I hate taking medication.  Since the more ‘potent’ medications were labeled ‘as needed’ I only took them sparingly.  I quickly realized that that luckily for me, they were not the ones that were helping the most. So after a few days I stopped taking them completely. (But I still carried them with me, just in case.) I however continued taking the prescription strength Aleve, as that was the key for my problem!

My weight remained high and I went through a week or so of desperation as my weight stayed 7 pounds higher than my pre-medication weight.  As I stated earlier I hate taking medications so a few days back I stopped taking the  prescription strength Aleve. (And other than a few twinges of pain, I’ve been fine.).  Waiting 24 hours of stopping the Aleve, my weight started to drop!   As of this morning...my weight has returned to what it was right before I went to urgent care.  Hallelujah!!!

I saw no official studies on this.  This is only my experience, but for me, next time I end up taking Aleve, I am not going to panic if my weight pops up on the scales!    Will I still take Aleve?  Absolutely!  I’ll take the prescription strength Aleve again if needed!   I will also keep the over the counter strength Aleve in my cabinet, it was the best thing I found for back pain!  (Amazon affiliate link). 

Week in Review

This week has been a rough one for me!  I have been exhausted!  Jason has at one or times questioned me about my quietness, because it is abnormal for me (I know that shocks you to know that I may be a bit verbose! Hahaha). I just respond that I’m tired.   I have also sat and just cried because of my exhaustion.  (I cry when I’m tired, it’s like my emotions flare up!). It’s been a long week!  

I managed to get some lunch time walks on.   However after work exercise has not yet recommenced!  Shame on me!

My food has been pretty good!  I haven’t been actually tracking my food (Which is a fail for my monthly goals) but I have been keeping a rough mental tally in my head, so I know that I’m not out of control.  

It’s been a normal work week!  Tiring and long.  But I did take some time for self care.  I did make some overdue appointments (eye check and dentist cleaning).   

So there you have it, my week in review  and my self discovery in regards to my weight gain in relation to the medications that I was taking for my shoulder issues, in particular Aleve.  It won’t change my behavior about taking medications but I like being in the know!  This way I will not take it as a personal failure the next time I take the same medication and experience a weight gain!

To monetize or to not monetize, that is the question

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclaimer  for details.

I started writing on this site 13 1/2 years ago. It started as a simple way for me to journal my weight loss. I have always kept a journal. I actually have a journal going back to third grade. (It cracks me up to read it!). Maybe I was just naïve when I started this online journal, I certainly knew that someone could stumble upon this journal… But I never realized when I started that so many people could and would read my words. Imagine my surprise when I started to accumulate followers and comments! Knowing that I had consistent readers did not change the way I wrote in terms of subject matter. I still continued, and still do to this day, right my true and unadulterated story and thoughts. I hold nothing back, and I tell it like it is.  Even when it’s embarrassing and shameful. The only thing that changed was that I did strive to make my posts a little more reader friendly and not just a one sentence synopsis of my day. Oh, and I started to add pictures.  (Like this one from my walk at lunch yesterday!)

Quite a few years into maintaining this online journal, I started to see people doing the vlogs. I thought about it. I seriously thought about it. But I never jumped in to do it because, well...I don’t know why!  I also started to realize that some people had  ads on their site. Over the years, I have seriously thought about that also. I always resisted. After all, at the heart of the matter, this is really just my personal journal, one that I have invited the world to join in and read.   Part of my resistance though came from the fact that many blogs I read that monetized turned into ‘money makers’.  Those sites and posts changed from personal to purely informational posts designed to attract a random reader and garner clicks and sales!  I didn’t want that!  Not at all!!!

However, the thought of monetizing this site has continued to crop up in my thoughts over and over through the years.  This last year, even more than ever. I think part of it is due to the fact that we watch a lot of YouTube videos and we see people making a decent living off of their YouTube channels. I also have read some recent blog posts about people that are making money off of their blogs. I haven’t gone looking for these blogs and videos, they have come across my radar quite naturally.

I actually have the idea for a YouTube channel.  Who wouldn’t want to watch a 46-year-old overweight woman learn to mountain bike…  jumps, drops, furiously fast downhill sections, and weight loss. (Cause being out there would garner weight loss I’m sure!). I think that it would be part motivational, simply because of my weight and my age.  How many people don’t do something because they are older or overweight.  I also know that it could be quite humorous. Just remember the trail ride in this post wheree I found myself sitting on the side of the trail crying. Furthermore, such a channel would also satisfy the morbid factor.   Everyone would be sitting on the edge of their seat waiting for me to fall or cry....Over and over again probably. Perfect idea right???  But, I honestly just don’t know that I have the time and energy for a project of that magnitude.

You may have noticed a while back that I started adding a few Amazon affiliate links to my post. Not exactly a great moneymaker (I think I made $.22 last month) but it’s worth a try. I don’t put links in there often because it honestly had to be a product that I am actually using that comes up naturally in my post. I refuse to write a post just to throw an Amazon affiliate link out there.  (Which is probably why I only made 22 cents!)

A week or two ago, I finally caved. I added adsense to my site. I am personally trying to keep the ads unobtrusive because I don’t want the mission of my site to change. But, I want your opinion… does it turn you off?

I don’t expect to make any kind of money. I don’t expect to quit my job. I just figure, if I’m already writing then I may as well add these extra things on and maybe the pennies I make will add up to cover the financial expense of this site (the financial expense is quite nominal so maybe I can achieve that!). I wanted to explain my choices, maybe defend my decision a little. (To myself since I feel as if I sold out!!). Monetizing this blog site will not change the content. I refuse to write  fluff sales posts. I refuse to turn this into anything other than what it is, which is a chronicle of my journey.For better or worse, let’s see what happens. And buckle your seatbelt because I have no choice...my health has to change....my weight has to drop!!!  Let’s do this!!!

Embarrassment: the added cost of obesity

Good Monday morning.  Another weekend has passed.   Another rainy weekend to boot!  This weekend I had some thoughts come to my mind in relation to weight loss.  It had to do with embarrassment about my multiple attempts to restart my healthy lifestyle.  It had to do with shame of my failed ventures at weight loss. And even more revealing, they were about the humiliation I feel when I catch sight of myself in a mirror or window while I am out and about! How did I let myself get to this point!

So let’s start with the weekend. As always it went  way to fast!  I can’t even comprehend how time flies by so fast on the weekend!  This weekend was rainy, so it greatly diminished our outdoor activities.  We talked about gearing up and going hiking in the rain....but it was a cold rain!  Yeah, we wimped out!   We did do a few things to stay moving and active.  We also got some things done around the house that have been hanging over our heads.  So it was productive!!!

As the weekend progressed I started to think about my post for Monday and even more importantly where I am in my weight loss journey.   My weight is still up, it has not dropped much since my dramatic overnight jump of 7 pounds when I started the medication for my shoulder.  Admittedly I allowed the despair of that increase to drive me to a few extra calories one one or two occasions last week.  But by the numbers I should still be seeing a decrease.  So as I pondered my next move I knew that things needed to get serious...real serious.   I was formulating the ‘new start’ post in my head.  And that is when the shame washed over me.  Yes, shame.  How many times have I vowed that ‘this is it?’  How many fresh starts have I attested to.  How many times have I failed only to a week or two later make a ‘this time it’s for real’ attestation on this website!!  (If I’m lucky it’s only a week or two later....when it’s longer the damage done is usually greater!).   It’s downright embarrassing!  Utterly and demoralizing so!

I was still reeling from my embarrassment revelation when we decided to walk through the mall and a few stores. (Hey, it was raining, what else were we to do to get a bit of movement into our day!).  Those places have a TON of mirrors.  My eye caught my reflection and I just wanted to sink into the floor with embarrassment. How in the world did I let myself return to this point?  How?  When I was losing weight the first time around, I very clearly remember saying that I would NEVER be over 200 pounds again.  Yet here I am!  Significantly over that 200 pound mark I might add!  I do find comfort in the fact that I have not gained it all back...but what I have regained is way more than any one should ever have to lose...again...or even ever!  Utter humiliation coursed through me at the sight of my overweight body in the mirror.  How could I have let this happen?

I know that I can do two things.  I can wallow in my self pity and embarrassment and make no changes.  Or I can pull myself up by the bootstraps, take these embarrassing revelations and honestly make the changes within my life to turn the shame into pride.  Yes, it is a restart....yes it is one of probably a hundred or more restarts that I have vowed.  But wallowing in my self pity is only going to bring about more embarrassment as I struggle to do things that a normal sized person can do. (For example: riding roller coasters at an amusement park, shopping at any store for clothes and not having to go to the fat women’s stores or departments, not being out of breath when I go up a few flights of stairs, etc). 

I’m not giving up.  I hope and pray that this is the last restart in my life.  But if it is not the last one...I will keep pushing forward and restarting!   Meanwhike, It is my fervent wish and plan to make the changes so that I never again have to look in a mirror at myself and feel nothing but shame and disgust.  I will continue to push forward. Victory can be had for me.  I can do this!