Dang but it's cold! I guess I shouldn't complain though...I'm reading and talking to friends who are in places that are a tad bit colder than here. My problem. I'm working the drive through window...and it's just DRAFTY. Every time I send out the bucket I get a huge draft of cold air. My fingers are FROZEN! The counter heater is on...and there is a metal bar inset into the desk (don't ask my why...or what...but it's there) and it is toasty warm...so I'm sitting with my fingers curled up on this little metal strip!
I'm going to get the basics out of the way and then write about what I'm thinking about.
*got to the gym today. Exercised for an hour...then came home and cleaned the house before going to work.
*Staying within my points....and also tracking calories...just to see what's happening.
*My weight was at 197.0 this morning. The lowest it has been in over a month!
Last night I watched a movie. Well, actually it was a documentary, called Thin. It was about a group of women that were in a rehab center for eating disorders. I watched it because I'm curious. Curious because these are women that struggle with a totally different side of an eating problem. Something that I can not fathom. But I felt compelled to watch and learn about it.
Now, my husband at one point told me that he was afraid that I would lose weight and not know where to stop and just keep losing weight. I admit, I can get REALLY involved in this weight loss process...but I've always assured him that I have no desire to be a string bean. I want to be healthy.
But regardless, I wanted to watch this documentary. Food Addiction is a disease and while it is seemingly total opposite of an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia, I wanted to watch and learn.
As I watched this documentary, I was shocked at the efforts these girls/ladies were and are willing to take. But underlying it all, I was sitting there thinking. Oh my word. These ladies are battling the some of the same feelings and thoughts that I have. They are just taking their efforts to reach the epitome that they desire, the extreme. It was quite sobering.
One lady talked about how she would start to eat and just lose control of what and how much she was eating. Sound familiar????
In some of the scenes they showed them talking about why and what started their problems. At least two of the girls talked about how in their childhood they were told that they were fat. In one case by a doctor. In another by a mother who put their child on a strict diet and exercise regime at age 5.
But the biggest thing that I took away is that these 70 pound women honestly believed that they were fat. The one 80-90 pound young girl (aged 15) was crying because she was getting a double chin....and when she left the rehab center her goal was to lose 40 pounds. She honestly thought that she needed to do that in order to fit in with the other skinny people. Their mental image of themselves is that warped.
On therapist had a patient draw a life sized drawing of herself. THEN she had the patient stand in front of the drawing and she traced the girls body....to show how different the perception and the true body was.
Now, as I said earlier...I am in no way at risk for this extremist type of behavior. I am losing to be healthy! Healthy these girls were not! But it did make me ponder a few things about myself.
The biggest.....how is my perception of my body? I know that when I was big, I had the opposite, I didn't think I was as big as I am. But now that I've lost weight, that perception has changed. I just can't believe and grasp the fact that I'm no longer morbidly obese. I STILL pull a shirt out of the closet and hold it up thinking, "there is no way that this shirt will fit me". In essence, I have a warped sense of reality also. The question is....how does one go about actually grasping and understanding that those perceptions are incorrect. For me I think a good deal is just the fact that for so many years I had to do things certain ways that I get used to it.... stuff like, standing on tip-toe to squeeze through a turnstile...I still find myself doing it....even though I can go straight through with no problem.....panicking at a restaurant when they put us in a booth...because that means I'll be crunched up with no room to move. Those sorts of things.
I guess it just takes time!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Is it possible?
You know...I was thinking when I was watching The Biggest Loser this week. What kind of contestant would I be? I know that I would not have been tempted to take the money and run (in reference to this last weeks challenge). BUT....would I be a contestant that would whine and cry about everything that the trainer would make me do? Would I balk like that? Or would I be a contestant that if the trainer said jump 2 feet in the air, I would go 3 feet...just to get the most out of it? I'd like to say that I would be the over achiever.....and I may be....beacuse I don't like to lose. But honestly I'm not sure. But it is food for thought. :-)
If I continue on that line of thought, it makes me wonder how much more 'umph' do I have inside me. It always seems as if the trainers are squeezing out energy and work out of the the contestants that the contestants think is not there. How much harder could I push myself during my workouts? How does one push themselves past that comfort zone and into the next realm? Is it even possible????
Well, yesterday Todd and I were planning on goign to the gym while we were in town to run our errends. Life happened and we didn't make it to the gym. Did I let that interrupt my workout? NOPE! I came home and IMMEDIATELY (before I even put anything away from our shopping in town) I exercised. I did another step aerobic workout and I rode the exercise bike for 45 minutes. SO 1 hour and 15 minutes total.
Ohhh and I SOOO lied the other day when i said that I wasn't at all sore from my first day back doing step aerobics. Ohhhh yeah, yesterday morning I woke up sore sore sore! Yes, as you just read, I did the same routine anyway...eventually the muscles will relax and not hurt! Yep, still sore today...and yep, I'll be working out when I get off of work at 3PM.
My weight. Frustrating...it's not going down. I'm eating right and I've upped my exercise level (not just in how many days....but in intensity)....so I know that in time it will come off....patience is the key!
If I continue on that line of thought, it makes me wonder how much more 'umph' do I have inside me. It always seems as if the trainers are squeezing out energy and work out of the the contestants that the contestants think is not there. How much harder could I push myself during my workouts? How does one push themselves past that comfort zone and into the next realm? Is it even possible????
Well, yesterday Todd and I were planning on goign to the gym while we were in town to run our errends. Life happened and we didn't make it to the gym. Did I let that interrupt my workout? NOPE! I came home and IMMEDIATELY (before I even put anything away from our shopping in town) I exercised. I did another step aerobic workout and I rode the exercise bike for 45 minutes. SO 1 hour and 15 minutes total.
Ohhh and I SOOO lied the other day when i said that I wasn't at all sore from my first day back doing step aerobics. Ohhhh yeah, yesterday morning I woke up sore sore sore! Yes, as you just read, I did the same routine anyway...eventually the muscles will relax and not hurt! Yep, still sore today...and yep, I'll be working out when I get off of work at 3PM.
My weight. Frustrating...it's not going down. I'm eating right and I've upped my exercise level (not just in how many days....but in intensity)....so I know that in time it will come off....patience is the key!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Got up early this morning. Much earlier than I needed to be up in order to get to work at 9AM. Why? Well, I had some exercising to do. I rode the exercise bike for 30 minutes and then I pulled out the step and did 30 minutes of step aerobics. I haven't done step aerobics in ages. I was surprised. I thought I would struggle a bit more than I did. Tis all good. 1 hour down!
I'm a bit bothered today. Well, not bothered but just disturbed. I have a family member (through marriage) that is planning on having gastric bypass this year. I know, from talking to friends that have had this procedure done that they went through intense counselling and diet work in preparation. This family member has had NOTHING. They are just doing the surgery...pushing this person through. I wonder at how this person will handle the major change in their life that this surgery is going to bring. And I don't mean the obvious of now they are thin. I mean the changes in emotions. The changes in their eating. Let me also say that this person is not one of these 500 pound people. They are probably low to mid 200's. If you have to change your diet anyway due to the surgery...why not just do it naturally.
Ok...that said...that is NOT what disturbs me. Yeah, I don't agree with the quick fix surgery....what bothers me is that this person has a child. I wouldn't categorize the child as fat...but the child is ....well. Some of the words to describe this child would be sturdy and stocky. NOT good words for a girl. This girl is well on her way to having a weight problem. I can see the path that she is on and it breaks my heart. And then to hear that her parent is setting an example of getting the surgery....I'm just blown away. (as a side note, a while back this parent was trying to diet and eat healthy......great opportunity to feed your children healthy foods also right??? Nope.....the children continued eating the fried foods, fast foods, junk food, while this parent ate frozen 'healthy choice' dinner. I wanted to scream at that point). I worry about this little girl seeing that this is the 'fix' and not being taught and shown a healthy way. I worry about her.
Meanwhile, the American Cancer Society is doing some kind of thing locally (technically in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia...but since my bank is based out of WV, we...in the Sharpsburg branch are included) between all the banks in that you earn points based on healthy things that you do. 3 points for each flight of stairs you climb, 1 point for each minute of exercise, 1 point for each 8 ounce glass of water, 1 point for each serving of fruit or veggies. Basically things promoting a healthy lifestyle. The banks are all in competition. There is no prize...other than bragging rights. :-) My branch...we are all excited. First because we all have been talking about being healthy...and there are people in our branch that have been saying that they need to start. Secondly, there are a group of us that are HIGHLY competative. So it shoudl be fun. The problem....we may not have a snowballs chance in hell.....we are a small branch...which means we have to work double hard ...to make up for our lack of people! But it should be good for us!
I'm a bit bothered today. Well, not bothered but just disturbed. I have a family member (through marriage) that is planning on having gastric bypass this year. I know, from talking to friends that have had this procedure done that they went through intense counselling and diet work in preparation. This family member has had NOTHING. They are just doing the surgery...pushing this person through. I wonder at how this person will handle the major change in their life that this surgery is going to bring. And I don't mean the obvious of now they are thin. I mean the changes in emotions. The changes in their eating. Let me also say that this person is not one of these 500 pound people. They are probably low to mid 200's. If you have to change your diet anyway due to the surgery...why not just do it naturally.
Ok...that said...that is NOT what disturbs me. Yeah, I don't agree with the quick fix surgery....what bothers me is that this person has a child. I wouldn't categorize the child as fat...but the child is ....well. Some of the words to describe this child would be sturdy and stocky. NOT good words for a girl. This girl is well on her way to having a weight problem. I can see the path that she is on and it breaks my heart. And then to hear that her parent is setting an example of getting the surgery....I'm just blown away. (as a side note, a while back this parent was trying to diet and eat healthy......great opportunity to feed your children healthy foods also right??? Nope.....the children continued eating the fried foods, fast foods, junk food, while this parent ate frozen 'healthy choice' dinner. I wanted to scream at that point). I worry about this little girl seeing that this is the 'fix' and not being taught and shown a healthy way. I worry about her.
Meanwhile, the American Cancer Society is doing some kind of thing locally (technically in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia...but since my bank is based out of WV, we...in the Sharpsburg branch are included) between all the banks in that you earn points based on healthy things that you do. 3 points for each flight of stairs you climb, 1 point for each minute of exercise, 1 point for each 8 ounce glass of water, 1 point for each serving of fruit or veggies. Basically things promoting a healthy lifestyle. The banks are all in competition. There is no prize...other than bragging rights. :-) My branch...we are all excited. First because we all have been talking about being healthy...and there are people in our branch that have been saying that they need to start. Secondly, there are a group of us that are HIGHLY competative. So it shoudl be fun. The problem....we may not have a snowballs chance in hell.....we are a small branch...which means we have to work double hard ...to make up for our lack of people! But it should be good for us!
Monday, January 12, 2009
monday madness
Woke up today feeling oddly re energized. Unfortunately, now that I'm at work that energy is fading away into the doldrums of the day! :-)
My tongue......still numb and just weird feeling. I wonder if some of it is 'in my head'? :-)
Today is my day off of exercise. I have long ago declared my weigh in day my day of rest from exercise....it makes it easy and keeps me from 'cheating' and having more than one day of rest a week. Plus by the time that I spend the 1/2 hour getting to the meeting, the 1/2 hour getting home, (OK...I exaggerate.....but it still takes 20 minutes each way...close enough), the 1/2 hour meeting (longer if it runs over or if I chit chat afterward), and getting there early for the weigh in (I usually am one of the first to arrive...so I can beat the line and also chit chat)....so there is 2 hours! On top of a work day and the normal every day routine of things....yeah, it just makes it easier to make that my day of rest. :-)
My weight today...up a bi 4/10Th's of a pound. Now I don't honestly think that my 2 points extra of milk is the culprit. I freely admit that I ate more carbs yesterday than I normally do......still within my points (except for those pesky 2 points) but carb laden...which does have an affect. :-) So I'm cool with it. I honestly haven't lost anything in this last week. I'm pretty much exactly where I was at last weeks weigh in.....or at least very close. I'm not going to stress about it.....if I keep doing the 'right thing' the weight will drop! :-)
I'm taking my bike into the shop today....I'm going to my second favorite bike shop. It's actually closer than the one that I attempted to go to yesterday. (yes, I called and checked winter hours...they are open today!)
My tongue......still numb and just weird feeling. I wonder if some of it is 'in my head'? :-)
Today is my day off of exercise. I have long ago declared my weigh in day my day of rest from exercise....it makes it easy and keeps me from 'cheating' and having more than one day of rest a week. Plus by the time that I spend the 1/2 hour getting to the meeting, the 1/2 hour getting home, (OK...I exaggerate.....but it still takes 20 minutes each way...close enough), the 1/2 hour meeting (longer if it runs over or if I chit chat afterward), and getting there early for the weigh in (I usually am one of the first to arrive...so I can beat the line and also chit chat)....so there is 2 hours! On top of a work day and the normal every day routine of things....yeah, it just makes it easier to make that my day of rest. :-)
My weight today...up a bi 4/10Th's of a pound. Now I don't honestly think that my 2 points extra of milk is the culprit. I freely admit that I ate more carbs yesterday than I normally do......still within my points (except for those pesky 2 points) but carb laden...which does have an affect. :-) So I'm cool with it. I honestly haven't lost anything in this last week. I'm pretty much exactly where I was at last weeks weigh in.....or at least very close. I'm not going to stress about it.....if I keep doing the 'right thing' the weight will drop! :-)
I'm taking my bike into the shop today....I'm going to my second favorite bike shop. It's actually closer than the one that I attempted to go to yesterday. (yes, I called and checked winter hours...they are open today!)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Is this an excuse???
I went over my points today...and blew my numbers. I'm rather disgusted as I wanted to make the 6 weeks (even though my body is NOT giving up the weight)
Oh what you may ask. Well....we live in the land of stink bug invasion. They are terrible around here. IT's terrible. And they keep getting into my house. I get rid of them and they get in again. I can't figure it out.
ANYWAY....I was sitting here on my computer tonight and I had my big 64 ounce water jug/bottle sitting here. I absently reached for it and brought it to my lips. I tilted it back and opened up my mouth........and immediately began to feel and hear a crackling in my mouth! My first thought was 'how did a piece of paper get on top of that water bottle spout'. Then I tasted the awful taste and felt this burning sensation on my tongue, even as I spit out the crackling 'piece of paper' onto my hand. Ohhh my word...it was a stink bug!!!! I ran to the sink and kept shoveling water into my mouth and washing my mouth out. I got a big glass of water and inserted my tongue into the water. Ohhh my word...the bad taste was gone but the burning sensation was still there! Todd was concerned but then started to laugh hystarically when he heard and saw me. He instructed me to drink milk. I did it. Fat free of course....1 cup.....2 points. I stuck my tongue in that milk and drank it (have I ever said that I don't really like milk??) Sadly, the milk didn't help and my tongue just burns and stings!!! It's terrible!!!!
SOOOOOOOOO......2 points over what I should have!!!!! SHUCKS!!!
This day is just turning out to be one hoot after another...first the commando incident...now the stink bug....should I just go to bed now and call this day over??????
Oh what you may ask. Well....we live in the land of stink bug invasion. They are terrible around here. IT's terrible. And they keep getting into my house. I get rid of them and they get in again. I can't figure it out.
ANYWAY....I was sitting here on my computer tonight and I had my big 64 ounce water jug/bottle sitting here. I absently reached for it and brought it to my lips. I tilted it back and opened up my mouth........and immediately began to feel and hear a crackling in my mouth! My first thought was 'how did a piece of paper get on top of that water bottle spout'. Then I tasted the awful taste and felt this burning sensation on my tongue, even as I spit out the crackling 'piece of paper' onto my hand. Ohhh my word...it was a stink bug!!!! I ran to the sink and kept shoveling water into my mouth and washing my mouth out. I got a big glass of water and inserted my tongue into the water. Ohhh my word...the bad taste was gone but the burning sensation was still there! Todd was concerned but then started to laugh hystarically when he heard and saw me. He instructed me to drink milk. I did it. Fat free of course....1 cup.....2 points. I stuck my tongue in that milk and drank it (have I ever said that I don't really like milk??) Sadly, the milk didn't help and my tongue just burns and stings!!! It's terrible!!!!
SOOOOOOOOO......2 points over what I should have!!!!! SHUCKS!!!
This day is just turning out to be one hoot after another...first the commando incident...now the stink bug....should I just go to bed now and call this day over??????
A bust, a yummy meal, and an embarrassing lesson
Todd and I made our plans for today, a Sunday off together early in the week. We would start our day at the gym. Go home, shower and change and then head to Frederick. In Frederick, we would drop my bike off at the bike shop and stop at a music store for TOdd and to do some studio business. From there we would head to Gaithersburg where we would enjoy a meal at buca di Beppo. Well, the day didn't turn out quite as we planned.
The bust part. Frederick. I looked online at the bike shop hours and we went down based on that....uhhhh winter hours was NOT posted on the website! So they were closed. We popped the bike back on top of the car and moved on to the music store. Uhhhh they were closed also! What was up with this????
No problem, we headed to Gaithersburg. For some reason, I always get turned around when we go to Buca di Beppo.....but we finally arrived. I was halfway afraid that I'd find them closed. Thankfully they were open (they appeared to be short staffed...but all was ok). The meal was WONDERFUL. Todd and I split an Antipasta Salad and a Lasagna meal. (we got the small servings of each..which serves 1-2 people...so we were dead on with our servings). We DID have some bread too. It was scrumptious!
My weight was down a bit this morning...still a little up from where I was last week during on my weight in day but down from my weird uppage this week.
We woke up this morning and I made breakfast for both of us. I made egg and cheese sandwiches...grilled...using the most wonderful thing I've tried recently....olive oil butter spread! This stuff is incredible...first of all it helps me get my daily requirment of oil, which I admittedly struggle with. But it makes a REALLY REALLY good grillled cheese (or grilled breakfast sandwich).
So anyway, I made breakfast and we got ready to go to the gym. And here is where my embarrassing lesson starts! I went to get dressed. I opened up my underwear drawer and out of habit just started to grab the top pair off the pile. I stopped and started to think. You see, the last few days that I've gone to the gym, I've had a bit of a problem. You see......well......to put it bluntly they ride in ways that they shouldn't ride. OK OK OK, I've gotten wedgies! Exercise wedgies you might say. So anyway, I was looking into the drawer and started to contemplate what pair would best serve my pursposes and NOT ride in an uncomfortable manner. And that is when I got a grand idea! I've never been much of a 'commando' girl myself...but I started to think. If I just put on my exercise pants and skip the underwear...well...there would be nothing to ride improperly! What a grand idea!!!! I couldn't believe my stroke of genius! So off to the gym I went. I did have a momentary thought of what would happen if my pants ripped out at the seam ...but I put that thought out of my mind! I entered the gym....and headed to the elliptical machine. I set myself up and started my workout. I was amazed at how wonderful my 'plan' was working. I felt no uncomfortable 'riding'. It was great. I pushed myself on the elliptical and my time on that machine eventually ended. From there I moved over to an upright exercise bike. I rode HARD....sweat was drippin' I was going gang busters ahead.....knocking fat off of my body! It wasn't until I hit my cool down that I looked down. Now don't ask me why I looked down and noticed the crotch of my pants...but I did. Ohhh my word....it looked like I peed myself. Apparently, the underwear acts as a wick and collects the sweat and keeps it from pooling in the crotch of my pants!!!!! I had to walk out of the gym and across the parking lot looking like I had peed my pants!!!! NEVER again will I go commando to the gym!!!
These things could 'only' happen to me!!!
The bust part. Frederick. I looked online at the bike shop hours and we went down based on that....uhhhh winter hours was NOT posted on the website! So they were closed. We popped the bike back on top of the car and moved on to the music store. Uhhhh they were closed also! What was up with this????
No problem, we headed to Gaithersburg. For some reason, I always get turned around when we go to Buca di Beppo.....but we finally arrived. I was halfway afraid that I'd find them closed. Thankfully they were open (they appeared to be short staffed...but all was ok). The meal was WONDERFUL. Todd and I split an Antipasta Salad and a Lasagna meal. (we got the small servings of each..which serves 1-2 people...so we were dead on with our servings). We DID have some bread too. It was scrumptious!
My weight was down a bit this morning...still a little up from where I was last week during on my weight in day but down from my weird uppage this week.
We woke up this morning and I made breakfast for both of us. I made egg and cheese sandwiches...grilled...using the most wonderful thing I've tried recently....olive oil butter spread! This stuff is incredible...first of all it helps me get my daily requirment of oil, which I admittedly struggle with. But it makes a REALLY REALLY good grillled cheese (or grilled breakfast sandwich).
So anyway, I made breakfast and we got ready to go to the gym. And here is where my embarrassing lesson starts! I went to get dressed. I opened up my underwear drawer and out of habit just started to grab the top pair off the pile. I stopped and started to think. You see, the last few days that I've gone to the gym, I've had a bit of a problem. You see......well......to put it bluntly they ride in ways that they shouldn't ride. OK OK OK, I've gotten wedgies! Exercise wedgies you might say. So anyway, I was looking into the drawer and started to contemplate what pair would best serve my pursposes and NOT ride in an uncomfortable manner. And that is when I got a grand idea! I've never been much of a 'commando' girl myself...but I started to think. If I just put on my exercise pants and skip the underwear...well...there would be nothing to ride improperly! What a grand idea!!!! I couldn't believe my stroke of genius! So off to the gym I went. I did have a momentary thought of what would happen if my pants ripped out at the seam ...but I put that thought out of my mind! I entered the gym....and headed to the elliptical machine. I set myself up and started my workout. I was amazed at how wonderful my 'plan' was working. I felt no uncomfortable 'riding'. It was great. I pushed myself on the elliptical and my time on that machine eventually ended. From there I moved over to an upright exercise bike. I rode HARD....sweat was drippin' I was going gang busters ahead.....knocking fat off of my body! It wasn't until I hit my cool down that I looked down. Now don't ask me why I looked down and noticed the crotch of my pants...but I did. Ohhh my word....it looked like I peed myself. Apparently, the underwear acts as a wick and collects the sweat and keeps it from pooling in the crotch of my pants!!!!! I had to walk out of the gym and across the parking lot looking like I had peed my pants!!!! NEVER again will I go commando to the gym!!!
These things could 'only' happen to me!!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
It's all in my head!
Last night I got home from work and made dinner. I made Southwestern Chicken. We sat down to eat and I took a bite. Ohhh it was a good batch! I took a second bite. Heaven! And that is when it started. It, you may ask? Yes, that is when I started thinking about possibly eating a second helping! I sat there chewing that second bite of food and I rationalized that second serving. Normally on this dish the second serving is Todd's lunch for the next day. But I was thinking, "ohhh what does it matter, there is plenty of food for him for lunch....he doesn't need to have this for lunch" And then it hit me.
Oh my word, I'm not even fully finished my second bite of dinner and I'm already thinking about a second serving? There is no way I'm predicting what I'll feel like after I eat my original serving! I'm just saying this because I can....because I know that if I wanted it, that there is a second serving on the counter. I'm just thinking about a second serving because this meal is so tasty and good that I to want to bask in the goodness. And of course the longer I eat, the longer I can bask!
My mind immediately went to my post that I had written here only hours earlier. I thought about the fact that 1/2 cup of ice cream satisfied just as much as 2 cups. And I realized that I was not going to enjoy a second serving any more than I would be enjoying the first serving. AND I realized once again that my desire for food is not based on hunger or my physical needs, it's totally based on my thought processes!
Like a true addict, I started to eat something. I had that first 'sip' that first 'hit' and I wanted more. I was quickly losing control.....simply because it tasted so good...I wanted to prolong and experience that good feeling.
I ate my third bite and my mind was whirling freakishly fast. But through it all I realized. Yes, this meal is quite tasty.....but it's not as if I can't make it anytime I want it. It's a meal that I usually have the makings for in the house ('tis a great meal because other than normal staples such as flour, milk and eggs....all you need is a small can of green chilies, a can of corn and some chicken breast......and since I always have tons of chicken breast here, it's literally two cans that I have to have...so it's something that I consider a staple and it's relatively healthy!)....I could make it the next day if I wanted it again. It's not as if this was the only chance I'd have this lifetime.....this year...or even this month to eat this food.
At that point, I was determined to NOT have a second helping...no matter what. I ate dainty bites of food and savored each bite of that really good plate of food! I stopped at the end, ate my fruit for my dessert. And do you know what........it really was the truth...I was completely satisfied!
***********
After dinner Todd and I went grocery shopping. I just for some reason didn't feel like going by myself this weekend...so we went last night. We got home at around 9 or so and I was running around the kitchen putting the food away. Todd had picked up a bag of the baked Doritos for himself. Now I know me. I eat one...and I just can't stop. So when he ripped open the bag I ignored him. He ate one and took another one out and literally put it up to my mouth. I kept my lips firmly closed! I knew that if I ate one, that would be the end of it. I would keep eating that night until somehow I gained control and then I also knew that it would spark me to want to eat more today..and tomorrow....until there were no more (and then I'd want to buy more).
*********
My weight is still up a bit (down .4 from yesterday though). I really do think that it has something to do with the stomach issues I've been having. I have a friend that has something similar (she's also a weight watcher) and she is experiencing the same little 1-2 pound gain. Go figure!
**********
After I get off work today at noon, I'm planning on going home and eating lunch. After lunch, the plan is to go up to the gym and do at least 60 minutes cardio. I'll then come home and clean the house (more activity)...Then I will allow myself to sit back, relax and do something fun. (read or watch a movie or whatever....until it's time to make dinner for Todd and I....and it's a late dinner as he doesn't get off of work until 8PM)
Oh my word, I'm not even fully finished my second bite of dinner and I'm already thinking about a second serving? There is no way I'm predicting what I'll feel like after I eat my original serving! I'm just saying this because I can....because I know that if I wanted it, that there is a second serving on the counter. I'm just thinking about a second serving because this meal is so tasty and good that I to want to bask in the goodness. And of course the longer I eat, the longer I can bask!
My mind immediately went to my post that I had written here only hours earlier. I thought about the fact that 1/2 cup of ice cream satisfied just as much as 2 cups. And I realized that I was not going to enjoy a second serving any more than I would be enjoying the first serving. AND I realized once again that my desire for food is not based on hunger or my physical needs, it's totally based on my thought processes!
Like a true addict, I started to eat something. I had that first 'sip' that first 'hit' and I wanted more. I was quickly losing control.....simply because it tasted so good...I wanted to prolong and experience that good feeling.
I ate my third bite and my mind was whirling freakishly fast. But through it all I realized. Yes, this meal is quite tasty.....but it's not as if I can't make it anytime I want it. It's a meal that I usually have the makings for in the house ('tis a great meal because other than normal staples such as flour, milk and eggs....all you need is a small can of green chilies, a can of corn and some chicken breast......and since I always have tons of chicken breast here, it's literally two cans that I have to have...so it's something that I consider a staple and it's relatively healthy!)....I could make it the next day if I wanted it again. It's not as if this was the only chance I'd have this lifetime.....this year...or even this month to eat this food.
At that point, I was determined to NOT have a second helping...no matter what. I ate dainty bites of food and savored each bite of that really good plate of food! I stopped at the end, ate my fruit for my dessert. And do you know what........it really was the truth...I was completely satisfied!
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After dinner Todd and I went grocery shopping. I just for some reason didn't feel like going by myself this weekend...so we went last night. We got home at around 9 or so and I was running around the kitchen putting the food away. Todd had picked up a bag of the baked Doritos for himself. Now I know me. I eat one...and I just can't stop. So when he ripped open the bag I ignored him. He ate one and took another one out and literally put it up to my mouth. I kept my lips firmly closed! I knew that if I ate one, that would be the end of it. I would keep eating that night until somehow I gained control and then I also knew that it would spark me to want to eat more today..and tomorrow....until there were no more (and then I'd want to buy more).
*********
My weight is still up a bit (down .4 from yesterday though). I really do think that it has something to do with the stomach issues I've been having. I have a friend that has something similar (she's also a weight watcher) and she is experiencing the same little 1-2 pound gain. Go figure!
**********
After I get off work today at noon, I'm planning on going home and eating lunch. After lunch, the plan is to go up to the gym and do at least 60 minutes cardio. I'll then come home and clean the house (more activity)...Then I will allow myself to sit back, relax and do something fun. (read or watch a movie or whatever....until it's time to make dinner for Todd and I....and it's a late dinner as he doesn't get off of work until 8PM)
Friday, January 09, 2009
Well well well.....things are progressing along. Ploddingly I should say. I've battling some kind of stomach bug. Nothing bad enough to keep me out of work...but just enough to make me queasy and cause food to travel directly through my body! (yikes)
I was thinking this morning in the shower. (yeah, I know....scary thought...mf thinking!) I was actually thinking about an message that I read on the weight watchers boards the other day. The person was talking about their 'little' victory. They wrote that they ate icecream. They measured it out and only ate the 1/2 cup serving instead of their old serving size of 2 cups (or more). AND they were totally satisfied with the 1/2 cup. Well, first of all, that is not a 'little' victory. That is absolutely huge!!! But this morning it got me to thinking. I eat food and want the big portions totally out of habit. That 1/2 cup serving will satisfy the desire for ice cream the same way that 2 cups will do. You only need 1/2 cup to take care of the issue. Ok, so my thought processes are simple in the morning...hey what do you expect....it was dark outside and I was in the shower!
Thought I would add a few more to my list of things that I'm thankful for....
*Being able to sit in a booth at a restaurant (I'm now shocked at how big and roomy they are!)
*being able to have my husbands arms comfortable go around me! That was another deep thought I had this morning. The alarm went off and I just didn't want to get out of bed. I curled up behind my husband put my arms around him. At this I've lost over 100 pounds and he's lost about 80. I was able to comfortably put my arms around him!!! Yeah, we were able to hug each other before but weighing a combined 600 plus pounds well, we were lucky when our arms went the whole way around.
*well, I could say something like, 'we both fit in the shower together now'...but that would be way too much information! ROFL! (NOOOOOOOO He was still in bed when I left for work.....so no shared shower this morning!)
I was thinking this morning in the shower. (yeah, I know....scary thought...mf thinking!) I was actually thinking about an message that I read on the weight watchers boards the other day. The person was talking about their 'little' victory. They wrote that they ate icecream. They measured it out and only ate the 1/2 cup serving instead of their old serving size of 2 cups (or more). AND they were totally satisfied with the 1/2 cup. Well, first of all, that is not a 'little' victory. That is absolutely huge!!! But this morning it got me to thinking. I eat food and want the big portions totally out of habit. That 1/2 cup serving will satisfy the desire for ice cream the same way that 2 cups will do. You only need 1/2 cup to take care of the issue. Ok, so my thought processes are simple in the morning...hey what do you expect....it was dark outside and I was in the shower!
Thought I would add a few more to my list of things that I'm thankful for....
*Being able to sit in a booth at a restaurant (I'm now shocked at how big and roomy they are!)
*being able to have my husbands arms comfortable go around me! That was another deep thought I had this morning. The alarm went off and I just didn't want to get out of bed. I curled up behind my husband put my arms around him. At this I've lost over 100 pounds and he's lost about 80. I was able to comfortably put my arms around him!!! Yeah, we were able to hug each other before but weighing a combined 600 plus pounds well, we were lucky when our arms went the whole way around.
*well, I could say something like, 'we both fit in the shower together now'...but that would be way too much information! ROFL! (NOOOOOOOO He was still in bed when I left for work.....so no shared shower this morning!)
Thursday, January 08, 2009
My weight is a little up today...I'm not sure why. I'm not going to worry about it though. I've been totally on target with what I've been eating AND I've actually kicked butt during my last two workouts (yesterday and today).
I'm starting to 'train' and make sure that I'm riding my bike as I'm seriously contemplating joining Donna as she makes her first bike ride event! Yep, it would be my first event also. I've always said that I wanted to do this.....what a great way to start! So yes, very seriously contemplating...serious enough that I've already requested the day before and the day after off from work....they know it's tentative...but it's in the schedule. Todd and i have talked and if we do it, we will sandwich the day of the ride in the middle of a small mini vacation. We'll see. :-)
Today just thought I would make small list of things that I used to take for granted as normal but have since realized was not normal at all!
1. Having a towel that can wrap the whole way around me when I get out of the shower (those big bath sheets were also too small at one point).
2. Being able to walk into ANY store at the mall and find something that is in my size.
3. Not having to worry at an amusement park....I used to worry that I would be too big for rides...and actually wasn't able to ride some because of my size! (admittedly when we went to an amusement park this past summer, I still caught myself worrying about it.....and had to keep telling myself that I was of NORMAL weight and would fit into ANYTHING!)
4. having stomach aches constantly (well, today is an exception...I've been feeling icky all afternoon....and all yesterday afternoon as well)
5. being so big that my stomach over lapped my pants, causing my stomach to rub against the buttons on my pants....which resulted in huge sores on my stomach. I got to the point that I was buying huge band aids (those really big ones) and coating my stomach so that it wouldn't rub my skin raw!
The list goes on and on!!!!!
I'm starting to 'train' and make sure that I'm riding my bike as I'm seriously contemplating joining Donna as she makes her first bike ride event! Yep, it would be my first event also. I've always said that I wanted to do this.....what a great way to start! So yes, very seriously contemplating...serious enough that I've already requested the day before and the day after off from work....they know it's tentative...but it's in the schedule. Todd and i have talked and if we do it, we will sandwich the day of the ride in the middle of a small mini vacation. We'll see. :-)
Today just thought I would make small list of things that I used to take for granted as normal but have since realized was not normal at all!
1. Having a towel that can wrap the whole way around me when I get out of the shower (those big bath sheets were also too small at one point).
2. Being able to walk into ANY store at the mall and find something that is in my size.
3. Not having to worry at an amusement park....I used to worry that I would be too big for rides...and actually wasn't able to ride some because of my size! (admittedly when we went to an amusement park this past summer, I still caught myself worrying about it.....and had to keep telling myself that I was of NORMAL weight and would fit into ANYTHING!)
4. having stomach aches constantly (well, today is an exception...I've been feeling icky all afternoon....and all yesterday afternoon as well)
5. being so big that my stomach over lapped my pants, causing my stomach to rub against the buttons on my pants....which resulted in huge sores on my stomach. I got to the point that I was buying huge band aids (those really big ones) and coating my stomach so that it wouldn't rub my skin raw!
The list goes on and on!!!!!
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Weight watcher meeting??? What's that?????? Well, it is what I attended this morning. The news. Well, when I weighed myself at home I wanted to scream...my weight was up a bit. BUT, I still went. I weighed in at 197.4. It could have been a whole lot worse!
That's pretty much all I have to report. I'm determined to work my butt off and get the weight off.
That's pretty much all I have to report. I'm determined to work my butt off and get the weight off.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Weighed myself today. (I didn't yesterday as i knew that it would be up because I had popcorn...with salt and a diet soda the night before...recipe for water retention!). 196.8. Going down!!!! Woo hooo!
I'm going to a weight watcher meeting tomorrow morning! According to this mornings weight, I'll show something very close to a maintain since my last weigh in! That really makes me happy! (I'm within about a pound....if the scales are true).
Nothing much happening. I'm eating healthy...but I will admit that I'm struggling. I want to eat and keep eating. I'm resisiting and doing my best to get it back under control!
Exercise....I've exercised 5 of the last 6 days! I'm very proud of myself. I will say that my legs felt like jelly after the gym yesterday! Back to the gym tomorrow for another go at it! Yeah, I've always read that you shouldn't work out before weighing in...hmmmmm. Oh well...that's how it's going to work into my schedule. I'll probably do something not as intense at the gym. We'll have to see.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
The cat or healthy exercise?
Yes, that was my choice this morning. I set the alarm to get up an hour earlier than I needed to (I worked this Saturday morning...story of my life) in order to have time to get a bit of exercise in. The alarm went off. I hit the snooze button, rare for me to do in the first place. I fell back asleep and actually started to DREAM in that 9 minutes! It went off again. I got up and went to the bathroom and then stumbled toward the exercise bike. Lucy (the cat) was laying on the seat of the bike just sleeping away. SOUND asleep. Well, I couldn't interrupt her beauty sleep could I? So I went back to sleep and slept for that hour. Yep, fell right back to sleep and deep enough to actually be dreaming. Hmmm...maybe I needed my sleep! I'm not tooo worried. Todd and I have talked about either hiking or going to the gym this afternoon. This morning was just going to be an 'insurance' against the chance that we don't exercise later today. And if we ended up exercising....a double workout.
Ok....the big decision. As I've said, I'm having difficulty finding and getting to a weight watcher meeting. I've decided that I'm going to try to make whatever meeting I chose to attend regularly...be one that is at the beginning of the week. That way I have more chances to get my butt to an alternate meeting if anything happens that keeps me from going to my 'regular' one. The problem is that there isn't any one meeting now that I can definitely get to. My schedule changes at work ...and there are now no meetings that run outside of my work hours! Sooo that is the plan. AND, I'm going to a meeting come hell or high water this upcoming week!!!!! I've GOT to!
Ok....the big decision. As I've said, I'm having difficulty finding and getting to a weight watcher meeting. I've decided that I'm going to try to make whatever meeting I chose to attend regularly...be one that is at the beginning of the week. That way I have more chances to get my butt to an alternate meeting if anything happens that keeps me from going to my 'regular' one. The problem is that there isn't any one meeting now that I can definitely get to. My schedule changes at work ...and there are now no meetings that run outside of my work hours! Sooo that is the plan. AND, I'm going to a meeting come hell or high water this upcoming week!!!!! I've GOT to!
Friday, January 02, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEARS!
A week or so ago, I sat down and started to think about my goals for the new year. I've added one more but here they are!
1. I will get myself back to my doctors approved weight watcher weight. That is roughly 20 pounds (yeah, stop gasping...I've gained 20 pounds since mid august!)
2. Continue to keep the business books up to date and not procrastinate (I've done pretty good this year...but in years past...eii yiii yiii)
3. Exercise at least 4 hours each week. That is 4 hours a week or 16 hours a month or 208 hours a year. Wow...when I think of that it really isn't that bad sounding. :-)
4. Try one new recipe a week. Yes, some weeks may not have one...some will have two or three. But at the end of the year, I'd like to have at least 52 new recipes. I get really good about trying new recipes and cooking ideas...but after a month or two, I stop and go back to the tried and true recipes/meals.
5. Religiously take my multi-vitamin (and calcium) pill!
I've made a pretty good start. The other week (Christmas day or there abouts....when I first started thinking about my goals), my weight had crept up to 201.8 pounds. As of this morning it's down to 197.6 That's pretty substantial! I've actually tried out 3 new recipes this past week! Exercise.....I started up on Monday...and I've ridden the exercise bike each day for between 30 to 60 minutes each day! As for the multivitamin....well I thought about it at dinner last night and didn't get up at that point...and promptly forgot about it. And I'm thinking about it right now...at work....so I can't take 'em now! But I will start that!!!
Today at work I'm going to sit down and really look at my schedule and think about a ww meeting. I was thinking Friday morning 9AM meeting would work...it would be tight, but it could possibly work (as long as the meeting didn't run over...or traffic was not bad....or whatever as I would need to be at work a short time after the meeting was to end). BUT upon a few weeks of saying I was going to get to the Friday morning meeting and I've realized that Fridays are usually a long day for me at work.......and the thought of tacking on two more hours (1/2 hour drive in, 1/2 hour drive back, 1/2 hour meeting, 1/2 hour pre meeting-weigh in time) just made me want to cry each week. If it's the only thing that will work, then I guess I'll have to do it. However, my schedule is changing in a week or two and I may be able to work something else out. I have to see! One thing I know.....I NEED to get back to meetings! Accountability! In the meantime...I'm DETERMINED to get back to 195 before I go to whatever meeting I end up going to this upcoming week. (probably Tuesday morning) That is what i weighed last time i was at a meeting!! Yeah, if I don't get there, I won't be upset...because I know how bad it really got and how much I've worked to get it down to where it is today. (4.2 pound down in fact) But it's still the goal that I have set for myself!
1. I will get myself back to my doctors approved weight watcher weight. That is roughly 20 pounds (yeah, stop gasping...I've gained 20 pounds since mid august!)
2. Continue to keep the business books up to date and not procrastinate (I've done pretty good this year...but in years past...eii yiii yiii)
3. Exercise at least 4 hours each week. That is 4 hours a week or 16 hours a month or 208 hours a year. Wow...when I think of that it really isn't that bad sounding. :-)
4. Try one new recipe a week. Yes, some weeks may not have one...some will have two or three. But at the end of the year, I'd like to have at least 52 new recipes. I get really good about trying new recipes and cooking ideas...but after a month or two, I stop and go back to the tried and true recipes/meals.
5. Religiously take my multi-vitamin (and calcium) pill!
I've made a pretty good start. The other week (Christmas day or there abouts....when I first started thinking about my goals), my weight had crept up to 201.8 pounds. As of this morning it's down to 197.6 That's pretty substantial! I've actually tried out 3 new recipes this past week! Exercise.....I started up on Monday...and I've ridden the exercise bike each day for between 30 to 60 minutes each day! As for the multivitamin....well I thought about it at dinner last night and didn't get up at that point...and promptly forgot about it. And I'm thinking about it right now...at work....so I can't take 'em now! But I will start that!!!
Today at work I'm going to sit down and really look at my schedule and think about a ww meeting. I was thinking Friday morning 9AM meeting would work...it would be tight, but it could possibly work (as long as the meeting didn't run over...or traffic was not bad....or whatever as I would need to be at work a short time after the meeting was to end). BUT upon a few weeks of saying I was going to get to the Friday morning meeting and I've realized that Fridays are usually a long day for me at work.......and the thought of tacking on two more hours (1/2 hour drive in, 1/2 hour drive back, 1/2 hour meeting, 1/2 hour pre meeting-weigh in time) just made me want to cry each week. If it's the only thing that will work, then I guess I'll have to do it. However, my schedule is changing in a week or two and I may be able to work something else out. I have to see! One thing I know.....I NEED to get back to meetings! Accountability! In the meantime...I'm DETERMINED to get back to 195 before I go to whatever meeting I end up going to this upcoming week. (probably Tuesday morning) That is what i weighed last time i was at a meeting!! Yeah, if I don't get there, I won't be upset...because I know how bad it really got and how much I've worked to get it down to where it is today. (4.2 pound down in fact) But it's still the goal that I have set for myself!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The easy part of this journey raises it's ugly head
It's easy. SOOOOO easy to be strong and make vows to yourself, such as; "I will never be over 200 pounds again." It's easy to stand back and say, "Well, I journal and when my allotment of calories/points for the day is gone....I'm done. Period, end of story." It's great to be able to stand back and say, "I have no cravings" Or, "this journey has been the most fabulous and amazing journey." Or even, "I haven't struggled at all." I know...I've made these comments to myself over and over throughout this journey. They are usually made in the thick of a wonderful strong period of the journey, when all is going well. Eating seems a breeze, exercise...while maybe not loved, is happening daily...and the pounds are just melting off my frame. I'm forever grateful to those periods. Those periods of 'healthy living zen' are what have gotten me this far. Sometimes the 'zen' lasts months. Sometimes it lasts only a day. I strive to reach that pinnacle of healthy living each and every day.
I've come further than than I ever even dreamed possible. At one point in this journey I thought that I would be happy and call it quits at 220 pounds. I surpassed that mark and broke the two-hundred pound barrier. I made it into the one hundreds and I was tickled. As the numbers on the scale creeped lower and lower, and consequentially further away from the dreaded two-ohh ohh I made a vow. I boldly and openly vowed and declared that, "I will NEVER again see a two as the first number of my weight. I will never again be 200 pounds or above." The weight loss started to slow down....I made it into the upper 170's (for a few days) but stalled at right around 180 pounds. I stayed there...stuck between 180 and 185. But after months of that, the weight started to rise. 188, 189, ohhhh no, back into the 190's . 192 and 195 came and went. It progressed. Inside I was panicked. I was getting closer to that big bad number. Ohhh I celebrated when I saw it the first time....but to see it again would NOT be a celebration. About a week ago it happened. 201.8 glared up at me from the display on those scales.
I was not happy! I wanted to cry! How in the world could this happen. I had vowed to never see that number again, yet there it was! I promised myself and I broke that promise!
And that is the point of my whole post today. It's sooo easy to stand up and make vows and declarations about how well I'm doing. How easy it is. And how I will NEVER return to what I was. But I needed to learn a lesson. The lesson? As easy as it is to make all those remarks. It's ohhh so ever much easier to lose control and spiral out of control. In the blink of an eye, you are at a Y in the path. If you are not paying attention, you chose the wrong path and once on that wrong path.....it's hard to find your way back to the correct path! Luckily, I have realized that I chose the wrong path and have gotten helplessly lost after only 20 pounds. But what if I hadn't hit that big bad number which made me sit back and yes, freak out? Would it have been 40 pounds? 60? Would I have put back on the whole 120 pounds instead of just 20?
I'm addicted to food. Just because I'm in a thiner me doesn't take away the issue. I got a little of my drug of choice, food; and I couldn't stop. I think I needed to see how quickly it can, does and will spiral out of control. I hope by writing this post that it will help me remember in months and years to come, but also those of you who read it. Even if you are going strong now...please please please remember and learn from my mistakes!!!!
This morning....exercised 45 minutes and more importantly.....199.8
I've come further than than I ever even dreamed possible. At one point in this journey I thought that I would be happy and call it quits at 220 pounds. I surpassed that mark and broke the two-hundred pound barrier. I made it into the one hundreds and I was tickled. As the numbers on the scale creeped lower and lower, and consequentially further away from the dreaded two-ohh ohh I made a vow. I boldly and openly vowed and declared that, "I will NEVER again see a two as the first number of my weight. I will never again be 200 pounds or above." The weight loss started to slow down....I made it into the upper 170's (for a few days) but stalled at right around 180 pounds. I stayed there...stuck between 180 and 185. But after months of that, the weight started to rise. 188, 189, ohhhh no, back into the 190's . 192 and 195 came and went. It progressed. Inside I was panicked. I was getting closer to that big bad number. Ohhh I celebrated when I saw it the first time....but to see it again would NOT be a celebration. About a week ago it happened. 201.8 glared up at me from the display on those scales.
I was not happy! I wanted to cry! How in the world could this happen. I had vowed to never see that number again, yet there it was! I promised myself and I broke that promise!
And that is the point of my whole post today. It's sooo easy to stand up and make vows and declarations about how well I'm doing. How easy it is. And how I will NEVER return to what I was. But I needed to learn a lesson. The lesson? As easy as it is to make all those remarks. It's ohhh so ever much easier to lose control and spiral out of control. In the blink of an eye, you are at a Y in the path. If you are not paying attention, you chose the wrong path and once on that wrong path.....it's hard to find your way back to the correct path! Luckily, I have realized that I chose the wrong path and have gotten helplessly lost after only 20 pounds. But what if I hadn't hit that big bad number which made me sit back and yes, freak out? Would it have been 40 pounds? 60? Would I have put back on the whole 120 pounds instead of just 20?
I'm addicted to food. Just because I'm in a thiner me doesn't take away the issue. I got a little of my drug of choice, food; and I couldn't stop. I think I needed to see how quickly it can, does and will spiral out of control. I hope by writing this post that it will help me remember in months and years to come, but also those of you who read it. Even if you are going strong now...please please please remember and learn from my mistakes!!!!
This morning....exercised 45 minutes and more importantly.....199.8
Monday, December 29, 2008
Goodbye flex points!
Ahhhhh a quiet morning here at work. Oops...afternoon now (12 minutes into the afternoon to be exact!)
I really don't have too much to say. I am coming to a conclusion to a test that I have been conducting. Right around the beginning/middle of November I was talking to a weight watcher buddy. And we were talking about how I had never been really able to eat my flex points. It seems as if anytime I eat them, I gain...or maintain on a few rare occaisions. Well, we were talking and I was lamenting this fact. We concocted a scheme in which I try to eat my flex points each week. And not just judge it on a single week or two. Try it for at least a month. I did. I do not like the results. Yeah, I've indulged here and there......but for the most part, I've been withing my points allowance (if I include those flex points). SOOOOO with a sad heart, I'm going to try to knuckle back down to the daily points and ignore those wonderful flex points. I will miss those 35 flex points!
I really don't have too much to say. I am coming to a conclusion to a test that I have been conducting. Right around the beginning/middle of November I was talking to a weight watcher buddy. And we were talking about how I had never been really able to eat my flex points. It seems as if anytime I eat them, I gain...or maintain on a few rare occaisions. Well, we were talking and I was lamenting this fact. We concocted a scheme in which I try to eat my flex points each week. And not just judge it on a single week or two. Try it for at least a month. I did. I do not like the results. Yeah, I've indulged here and there......but for the most part, I've been withing my points allowance (if I include those flex points). SOOOOO with a sad heart, I'm going to try to knuckle back down to the daily points and ignore those wonderful flex points. I will miss those 35 flex points!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
I was reading a blog this morning (katschi) and I picked up on a line that she wrote. It was 'Make yourself proud of the choices you make today" That got me thinking about how when I am totally in control and make really healthy choices, I feel so proud and on top of the world! All of a sudden I started to think. Ok, so I'm trading that food 'high' for a prideful 'high'. That seems to be a pretty good tradeoff. Now to just continue to implement it!
Ok ok ok ok. Let me talk about weight. As we know, I started my 6 week challenge earlier this week. I was so good. And then I weighed myself (either Christmas Eve or Christmas morning) and yikes, my weight was 200.4! I ate healthy. I exercised but my weight was up. No excuses though. I looked at my journal. Could see really nothing out of whack, so just chalked it up to this bumpy ride and vowed to continue on. Well, of course Christmas day while much better than previous years was not the greatest eating wise.....I ignored the scales yesterday and vowed that today I would own up to the 'badness'. 201.8. YIKES! But that is my figure. It's going DOWN from here!
Ok ok ok ok. Let me talk about weight. As we know, I started my 6 week challenge earlier this week. I was so good. And then I weighed myself (either Christmas Eve or Christmas morning) and yikes, my weight was 200.4! I ate healthy. I exercised but my weight was up. No excuses though. I looked at my journal. Could see really nothing out of whack, so just chalked it up to this bumpy ride and vowed to continue on. Well, of course Christmas day while much better than previous years was not the greatest eating wise.....I ignored the scales yesterday and vowed that today I would own up to the 'badness'. 201.8. YIKES! But that is my figure. It's going DOWN from here!
Friday, December 26, 2008
The morning after pill!
Ohh if only there was a morning after diet pill! :-)
I am doing ok with eating thus far today. I am working a long day, so I was up early and ate some cereal before packing my lunch for work. Yesterday when I was preparing Christmas dinner I purposefully fixed tons extra vegetables than we needed. Why? So I would have leftovers! So into my lunchbox for today....green beans, corn, sauerkraut, fruit salad and a wasa cracker. I'm so on track! Oh wait, I did throw in a treat. I grabbed a jello rice pudding / tapioca (can't remember which) thing....so a little sweetness, but not a lot of calories! I'm doing ok. No, I didn't exercise today. But I plan on starting SOON!
So this morning I logged on and started reading the new blog entries. I got to this one and I was so moved. It is about the christmas binge. Seashore writes that she indulged in the holiday food. BUT, she was honest with herself and actually tracked everything that she ate. NOW, I have to be honest. I track my food. My food journal is on the bar in the kitchen (in it's own little handy dandy tin to keep it from getting lost on those days when the bar gets piled high with junk...yeah those days/weeks). I enter everything. BUt I have to be honest...yesterday I started tracking. I got as far as cereal----3 points and then at the end of the day I simply wrote on the page Christmas with a smiley face beside it. I read this post and stopped dead. I wanted...no I needed to see where I stood....so here it is. (thank goodness for that christmas pass for the challenge!)
Breakfast- cereal - 3 points
Lunch- Mom's stuffing-15 points (estimate...probably low)
corn- 2 points
green beans- 0 points
baked beans- 3 points
jello cake- 5 points (thank heavens a healthy version)
sauerkraut- 0 points
Dinner roll- 4 points
Small amount of promise butter- 0 points
Sweet potatoes- 5 points
Fruit salad- 2 points
Small slice of pumpkin bread- 4 points
Ginger bread cookie- 3 points
Dinner- Turkey salad - 4 points (made as healthy as possible)
Natures Own bread- 1 point
Jello cake - 5 points
We are talking 53 points. Yes, my points are estimates while I sit here at work. But At least I faced up to it! Next thing to face up to...the scales! :-)
I am doing ok with eating thus far today. I am working a long day, so I was up early and ate some cereal before packing my lunch for work. Yesterday when I was preparing Christmas dinner I purposefully fixed tons extra vegetables than we needed. Why? So I would have leftovers! So into my lunchbox for today....green beans, corn, sauerkraut, fruit salad and a wasa cracker. I'm so on track! Oh wait, I did throw in a treat. I grabbed a jello rice pudding / tapioca (can't remember which) thing....so a little sweetness, but not a lot of calories! I'm doing ok. No, I didn't exercise today. But I plan on starting SOON!
So this morning I logged on and started reading the new blog entries. I got to this one and I was so moved. It is about the christmas binge. Seashore writes that she indulged in the holiday food. BUT, she was honest with herself and actually tracked everything that she ate. NOW, I have to be honest. I track my food. My food journal is on the bar in the kitchen (in it's own little handy dandy tin to keep it from getting lost on those days when the bar gets piled high with junk...yeah those days/weeks). I enter everything. BUt I have to be honest...yesterday I started tracking. I got as far as cereal----3 points and then at the end of the day I simply wrote on the page Christmas with a smiley face beside it. I read this post and stopped dead. I wanted...no I needed to see where I stood....so here it is. (thank goodness for that christmas pass for the challenge!)
Breakfast- cereal - 3 points
Lunch- Mom's stuffing-15 points (estimate...probably low)
corn- 2 points
green beans- 0 points
baked beans- 3 points
jello cake- 5 points (thank heavens a healthy version)
sauerkraut- 0 points
Dinner roll- 4 points
Small amount of promise butter- 0 points
Sweet potatoes- 5 points
Fruit salad- 2 points
Small slice of pumpkin bread- 4 points
Ginger bread cookie- 3 points
Dinner- Turkey salad - 4 points (made as healthy as possible)
Natures Own bread- 1 point
Jello cake - 5 points
We are talking 53 points. Yes, my points are estimates while I sit here at work. But At least I faced up to it! Next thing to face up to...the scales! :-)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christams day reporting
Day 3 of 42
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Ok, I totally used my 'free day' pass today. I went REALLY heavy on veggies thought at our big meal! The bad stuff.....stuffing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom's stuffing/dressing (I asked her to bring it to the meal). I really only get it twice a year. Once at Thanksgiving and once at Christmas. I indulged today. Lets see I had one dinner roll. I had a piece of pumpkin bread and a piece of jello cake. Really the stuffing is the bad stuff. Some of the veggies were more starchy 'bad' ones....corn and sweet potatoes. (because I had the sweet potatoes, I didn't touch the mashed potatoes).
I'm feeling stuffed though.
After we ate, I cleaned everything up. It was easier to put everything into the fridge. But after everyone left and it was just my husband and myself, I did something that was VERY difficult for me. I threw out the leftover dressing/stuffing. Dumped it! Why???? Well, as I stated earlier, I love my mom's stuffing and I would have LOVED to have eaten the leftovers. But would that have been the wisest thing for me to eat? NO! Unequivicably no! So I got rid of it! While I was doing that I also looked at what was left of the jello cake. There was quite a bit left. I cut out one more piece for me and put it on a plate. I asked my husband if he wanted some (he said no..that he wanted the rum cake that was left here....I'm not as tempted by that). SOOOOOOOO I dumped that cake into the garbage also! Got a cake server and served that yummy delicious cake right into the garbage can! Yes, that cake is low fat, light, whatever you want to call it. BUT it is a huge temptation for me. And if I would eat piece after piece of the cake, then it no longer is a wise choice.
So, I got rid of the temptation items. Straight into the garbage can they went! I'm ready to move on and get this weight loss show back on the right track!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Ok, I totally used my 'free day' pass today. I went REALLY heavy on veggies thought at our big meal! The bad stuff.....stuffing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my mom's stuffing/dressing (I asked her to bring it to the meal). I really only get it twice a year. Once at Thanksgiving and once at Christmas. I indulged today. Lets see I had one dinner roll. I had a piece of pumpkin bread and a piece of jello cake. Really the stuffing is the bad stuff. Some of the veggies were more starchy 'bad' ones....corn and sweet potatoes. (because I had the sweet potatoes, I didn't touch the mashed potatoes).
I'm feeling stuffed though.
After we ate, I cleaned everything up. It was easier to put everything into the fridge. But after everyone left and it was just my husband and myself, I did something that was VERY difficult for me. I threw out the leftover dressing/stuffing. Dumped it! Why???? Well, as I stated earlier, I love my mom's stuffing and I would have LOVED to have eaten the leftovers. But would that have been the wisest thing for me to eat? NO! Unequivicably no! So I got rid of it! While I was doing that I also looked at what was left of the jello cake. There was quite a bit left. I cut out one more piece for me and put it on a plate. I asked my husband if he wanted some (he said no..that he wanted the rum cake that was left here....I'm not as tempted by that). SOOOOOOOO I dumped that cake into the garbage also! Got a cake server and served that yummy delicious cake right into the garbage can! Yes, that cake is low fat, light, whatever you want to call it. BUT it is a huge temptation for me. And if I would eat piece after piece of the cake, then it no longer is a wise choice.
So, I got rid of the temptation items. Straight into the garbage can they went! I'm ready to move on and get this weight loss show back on the right track!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The 6 week challenge begins!
1 of 42 (days of the 6 week challenge that is) So far so good. I'll have to be careful when I come home from work tonight as I tend to do poorly when I'm home alone in the evening 'fending for myself' in the kitchen. Yes, for some reason when I'm making a meal for my husband and I, I tend to do ok. But when I'm alone...eii yii yii, I just keep eating and eating! Plus tonight (or maybe tomorrow morning, I'll be doing a bit of baking). I can do this. I am sooo not going to mess up on day one!
Ohh yes, and in other news. I actually exercised this morning. 55 minutes on the exercise bike. Let me tell you...this is I think only the second time I've exercised since thanksgiving! (family visiting, crappy sickness, vacation eiii yii yiii.....only the sickness would have been a valid reason not to exercise). Onward and upward!
Ohh yes, and in other news. I actually exercised this morning. 55 minutes on the exercise bike. Let me tell you...this is I think only the second time I've exercised since thanksgiving! (family visiting, crappy sickness, vacation eiii yii yiii.....only the sickness would have been a valid reason not to exercise). Onward and upward!
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