Slow as molasses

The weight comes on so fast!   Seriously...way fast!   But it doesn’t come off quite as fast.  It is infuriating!!!!  Utterly infuriating!!!!  If I can gain 5-10 pounds in a week why can’t I lose 5-10 pounds in a week???

I was 247 at the beginning of the year....the first weigh in of the new year.   I was sitting at 245 on Saturday and 245.4 this morning (Chinese last night = lots of sodium = water retention so I’m not worried about the .4 difference).   So I have made some progress...but seriously I want it to go off as fast as it came on!     

So I guess lots of water for me today to flush out that sodium laden meal!  (Speaking of water...I’m not where I want to be with water consumption and I’m adding flavor packs to some of my bottles.....but there has been no diet soda ..or any soda yet in 2018!)

Last week I kept my word.  On my breaks I rode the elevator down to the lobby...used the bathroom and then walked up the stairs to the floor I work on.    The first days I was breathing like a freight train after a few floors...and my lungs felt like they were going to explode by the time I got to my floor.  I kept going though...every day...every 15 minute break I climbed the steps!   My legs ache...I still breathe heavily...but I can see small changes in how I’m breathing and feeling when I get to the top of my climb...and I’m seeing that my breathing remains normal for higher in the building each time I do it!   I tell myself that this is good and will carry me well with hiking...it’s gotta help for those mountains and hilly trails!  

So yes I started my Monday of this week with a couple climbs on my breaks and I plan on continuing all week long!! And the weather is supposed to be in the 40’s today so I am hoping to walk around the lake on my lunch break!!  At least that’s my hope!!!   

So nothing fast and furious...but I’m still working toward making progress...albeit sloooooowly.

13 year blogiversary

Happy blogiversary!!!   12 Years! How crazy is that????  What a journey this has been!  I have definitely had some highs and I’ve definitely hit some lows!!!

Surprisingly this last year was not the year with the least amount of posts...but that brings me to some simple observations!

The year with the most posts:   2008

The year where I reached my weight watcher goal: 2008

The year with my least posts: 2012 followed closely by 2011 and then 2017

When did I gain weight:  2011 was the first small gain 2017 was the second

Hmmmm is there a correlation???  

Some lessons I’ve learned along the way....and by no means is this a comprehensive list.....there are way too many to post!!  And the list is in no particular order.

1.  Lose weight for yourself!  That is the only way to lose AND maintain the loss.

2.  Learn to love yourself....it doesn’t matter if you are 300 pounds or 100 pounds, love yourself for the awesome individual that you are!

3.  Find a partner in life that loves you in spite of your weight!  Someone that wants you to be healthy for your health but could care less if you have some fat rolls, or if the scales show some higher numbers!

4.  Deprivation of all ‘fun foods’ may be necessary at times in life, but in the long run will only lead to disaster because eventually you will cave and you will be sitting there shoveling junk food in like you’ve been starving for a lifetime.

5.  Your taste buds really do change and the healthier nutritious foods really do taste better....conversely when you start eating junk again they change back and you no longer crave the healthy stuff!

6. No matter how healthy you may be at any given time..the old habits are still buried deep and you will show up if you don’t keep up your gaurd. 

7. Exercise really isn’t the devil reincarnated!!  

8.  Find the activity you like doing and stick with it.  If it’s running...run.  If it’s Zumba...then Zumba.  Do what you enjoy...even if you only enjoy it sometimes because it’s a social hour (yes Zumba was a social hour....or rather pre Zumba and post Zumba times were a social hour for me)

9.  Start now....if you say ‘tomorrow’, tomorrow may never come!

10.  Start now....waiting until a certain time just gives permission to eat like a hog-head for the days leading up to the magical start date...and then you have a bigger hole to dig yourself out of!!!

11.   Don’t force yourself to eat a food you hate just because it’s ‘healthy’

12.  Reward yourself for your progress!  A lot of work goes into creating a healthy version of yourself!

13.  Food actually tastes better after you have ‘worked for it’.   For example after a long hike I enjoy dinner so much more...earn your food!

14.  I am the only one responsible for what goes into my mouth!  No one has ever hog tied me to a chair and forced me to eat a donut!   They may offer me a donut (insert any tempting non nutritious food in for the word donut) but they have never forced me to eat it...I am 100% in control!

15.  Arthritis pain really does ease up with exercise!  Yes it seems odd that it hurts so bad and someone tells you to go out and exercise...how because it’s painful...but it really does work!

16.  My most proud accomplishments are the ones in which I have pushed though and completed what I set out to do.

17.  The blood sweat and tears that go into this journey?  Totally worth it!

And I’m here to say that year 13 is going to be spectacular!!!!

Well then...

So I had made my plans to be healthy come the new year....I made them a week or so before New Years...and vowed to start on day one.    So how did that plan work out for me ?

The last few days of 2017, I ate like a wild boar that hadn’t seen food in three years!   I’m telling you...It was bad!   Cakes, donuts, candy, cookies and pie!  It was ugly!  In my mind I kept saying ‘one last hurrah before the serious healthy stuff begins’.   And that was the mistake. I should have started immediately and not thrown my hands in the air and commenced with a foodapalooza!  Still not convinced it was bad?   I ate and ate and ate.  Each night I would feel stuffed...I would have slight stomach aches.  But I trucked on...remember I’m an addict...food is my addiction!   Every night got worse.   And then finally...I hit rock bottom.   New Year’s Eve...we ate dinner.  I wasn’t overly hungry when I came to dinner time...but I ate and it was delicious!  I finished dinner and I made the comment that I was stuffed...that I felt like I needed to go for a long walk or run or something!   Yet a half hour later I ate a huge piece of cake...and shortly after that a donut....and right around midnight I found myself eating tortilla chips!   Is it wrong that while I ate all this I kept saying ‘this is the end...healthy tomorrow!’   We went to bed at around 12:30 or 1.  I was ready to start the new year with healthy eating!

I woke up at 3am...my stomach was in knots!  I remembered the feeling well.  I used to have stomach aches constantly way back in the day...once I got my eating under control the constant stomach aches disappeared....but it was back.  A trip to the bathroom and then I curled up in a ball and slept until 5....a trip to the bathroom and then some more sleep!  I was miserable until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon!  I know my body just had had enough of the gorge of food!!!

Maybe I had to hit rock bottom to see the light and finally be ready to roll into the new year and to form (re-form) the healthy habits!

So day one was an incredible success in terms of eating.   January first i couldn’t even think about food until about 8 PM...and I had a light sandwich!  

Yesterday January 2...I didn’t do too bad.  Not perfect but I’m happy with my choices and how I managed my food!  Even better...on my breaks I rode the elevator down to the lobby and I carted myself back up all the flights of stairs on foot!  It’s not a lot of exercise...but 8 flights of stairs twice a day is better than riding the elevator!!  I’m sticking with the 8 flights twice a day for a while.  I am seriously out of breath after the 8 flights.   When that gets easy I will add more floors just keep goinbg up and then walk back down until my whole break is steps!  And right now I’m leaving my lunch mostly intact.  As it gets easier I believe I may throw in the steps on my lunch...but right now I’m just proud to have done the steps twice!!  (The steps should hopefully help when we get back to hiking heavy...as soon as the weather breaks!)

Now I head into day three....I’m sure I will rock this day!!!    

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!!    

This past year.....wow.  It was a year filled with incredible happiness and a year filled with absolute and utter sadness.  One extreme to the other, for sure!

I enjoyed a second year with Jason...and that is the happiness, peace and joy.  

The first part of the year we were super active...but then we each changed jobs and our time for active pursuits was seriously diminished.  But we still got out on the weekends.  

We did get bike rides in.....

We got some hiking in.....

We made it to the ocean a few times..

We spent as much time together as humanly possible within the confines of work and life responsibilities.

We are happy and still moving forward in our relationship. (The first change...we are looking for an apartment to share closer to our respective jobs....currently my commute on normal days is 1.5 to 2 hours each way)

The sadness...yes I lost my father. 

And that is where my weight loss/maintenance went to hell in a hand basket. I let my addictions free and started eating like crazy...

For the first part of 2017, I maintained my weight...but from summer to late fall I somehow managed to slowly start losing.  It was a slow slow slide, but the numbers were going down.   Hey, I’ll take it, slow still  wins the race!!!

But then I lost control and within one week gained five pounds!   Right now, I’m hovering at 8-10 pounds higher.  

I’m miserable at my weight.  My body is screaming it’s protest in many ways!  

When I switched jobs my exercise went out window too...4 hours in my car a day did that in!!!  It’s hard to even contemplate going for a run when it’s pitch black outside and you are bone tired!  My 2017 miles in the year 2017....I was totally on track in August when I started my new job...but well, that went to pot!!  

So I guess it comes as no surprise that my New Years Resolutions center around healthy pursuits! And let me backtrack and talk abut resolutions.  There is no rule that says that you have to make a New Years resolution.   There is also no rule that says you have to wait u til New Years to start something like a new lifestyle.  If you have that mentality, then a New Years resolution is a bad thing for you....because you are losing 364 other days of the year for greatness!   For me New Years is just a time where I’m wrapping up a calendar year and facing a new calendar year.  It’s the perfect time to reflect upon where I was...where I am...where I’m going.   The rest of the world calls it New Years resolutions....so guess what?  I’m going to just call my re-evaluation a New Years resolution!!!

So what are they????    

Lose Weight, be Healthy, be happy!!

Nothing with direct numbers attached...no ‘I will weigh such and such’ or ‘lost so many pounds’.   Very loose goals and ambitions.  But the healthy and happy should be every day of our life goals!!!  As for lose weight/maintain a healthy weight, honestly, if I’m healthy happy, the weight should correct itself!

Plans to achieve my resolutions:

1. Blog more...it helps me stay tuned in and focused!

2. Weigh daily/at least weekly 

3.  Exercise ....this should get easier after Jason and I move!  However in the meantime I can at least be active...I can walk up and down the steps in my work building...there are 14 floors. (Since I’m a wimp and it’s kinda cold outside and that keeps me from walking on my breaks!!). I have that stair stepper thing at home too.  And I have tons of videos!

4.  Reign in the eating...that might mean tracking my food again.   The freedom from constantly entering my food has been nice...but I think right now I may need it!  (And notice tracking is not a resolution...because I would actually prefer to try to get back to the point where I don’t have to track!)

And the crazy thing???  Im actually excited about the changes I’m making and the end result!!!!

Stay tuned

Merry Christmas...a few days late!!

We interrupt the radio silence to announce that while things  have NOT been good in the healthy lifestyle department, that I’m still alive...I’m still here...and I’m planning my comeback!!

Yes it’s been a rough month...and my weight and body are feeling the affects!

So give me a few days to plot and scheme and then I’ll be here with bells on!!!!

In the meantime I give you a sheep and her babies...and yes the one was hopping and frolicking all around!!!

A week from.....

There may have been a day...or two where I ate donuts for breakfast...donuts for lunch and then finished the day with a donut or two for dinner.    There may have been cake.....and ice cream...and Reece’s cups.  There may have been indiscriminate eating.   Oh and then there was thanksgiving.

Yeah for the last week...to week and a half my eating has been horrible!!!   Absolutely horrible!   Jason and I have vowed that come Monday we are cleaning up our act!!!

Why wait until Monday?  Well really no VALID reason because there really is no time like now.  But that said....Monday!

I’m an addict.  And this week I have just thrown up my hands and said to hell with trying to beat the addiction.....it wasn’t important and I didn’t care.   

So instead of beating around the bush and trying to ignore what I don’t want to write....

Yes...that’s my dad.  Yes....you read the caption on the picture right.   So I guess I have a good enough reason as to why I took a break from caring about what I eat.

The sweet treat monster

I am still holding steady with my weight. In the last week I have had some sweet treats but I have managed to get it a bit more under control. What does that mean? That means that the bad habit of having candy, cookies, ice cream, or cake every day is past. That is not to say that I haven’t had any kind of sweet treat. I did have a Reesie‘s cup on Tuesday night. And I would like to add that it was the normal size not the king size. And last weekend I did have a cookie and some ice cream. I am not naïve enough to think that I have conquered the sweet treat monster. But this past week I’m happy with my efforts.

I have managed to walk on my lunch breaks every day but one this week. And the only reason I didn’t walk that day was because I was just darn Tootin’ hungry! So I spend my time that day  buying lunch. I even walked on the day that it was pouring down rain. It was cold that day also! How did I manage to walk? I walked to the top of the parking garage and then to the bottom of the parking garage and then back up. My favorite part that day was  when I was close to the edge where I could see out and get some fresh air. I even paused to snap a picture of the rainy day from the parking garage.


It is getting cold, And I am not sure how long I will last with walking outside. I have a plan! My plan walk down the steps walk up the steps. I have to time in to see how long climbing The stairs text me. And then I can judge how far I walk on my break and lunch. Like I said, that is my plan… I make no promises! Reading during my lunch break is very tempting.

Jason’s foot seems to be doing well after a long stretch of pain and various issues. So with The cooler weather, hopefully we can get some hiking in. On the warmer weekends I’m sure we will be biking still.   Admittedly lately we have been lazy on our weekends of late!

Nothing new to report in the weight-loss world. I have had no major ephiphanies. I have not tracked a single bite of food. Other than my lunchtime walks and my break walks, exercise has been a no go. That does not mean that I do not think about losing weight a lot. I Think about it all the time. I want to be fit. I want to be thin. I want to be healthy. I don’t know what to do to change where I’m at. I know this sounds like an excuse, but my work week is so tiring that I honestly don’t have the energy to put into the effort. And that is a shame, because I am talking about my life, my future and my health.

This upcoming week I have a day off of work. I have my annual physical with my family doctor my annual physical with my gynecologist and a dentist appointment along with all the accompanying appointment for blood work and a mammogram. I am crossing my fingers that my health is still showing no negative effects from my continued excess weight.  Maybe that will be the catalyst to get me back in full gear!!!!

Grounded

So I’m going to start today with an analogy. Going to think about weight loss in relation to an airflight. The planning stages are like the preflight checklist. Starting the plan is like take off. Starting to lose and getting in the groove is flying at altitude. So on and so forth.

Well the other day when I wrote about my plans that with my preflight checklist. And I, as the pilot, must’ve fallen asleep and I never took off. Oh yes, the last week has not been good. Cinnabon, delicious doughnut, pumpkin muffins, brownies, and a whole lot more, have entered my life. it’s not been pretty! (Pretty tasty but not pretty!

Exercise well that’s still in the planning stages… OK let’s be honest I just haven’t started! It is hard enough to get out of bed when I do much less wake up even earlier to exercise!  This morning I was the walking zombie I was dragging so bad when I got out of bed...and it’s on Tuesday!!!

My weight this morning was not pretty, my low weight from last week is history. Luckily, I am not back to my  weight that my body seemed to like for months on end.

My only saving grace is that I typically eat fruit at lunch while I walk. However I do worry about my lunchtime walks as the weather gets colder.

My lunchtime walk on Friday should be labeled freaky Friday. I saw three different groups of people doing full on Photo shoot with props and everything… Using their cell phone cameras. OK so that’s not too freaky just kind of humorous to go to the great length of having props and going all out but not have a good quality camera. Next I saw an old guy laying in the grass. That in it self is not too odd. What makes it crazy is the fact that it was 50° and he was only wearing a pair of skimpy shorts. Now let me also add that he was an old geezer, think saggy old wrinkles all over his body. I’m right ....freaky Friday! And last but not least some foreign dude was sitting under a tree by the path with his cell phone in his hand and in his other hand he had this huge microphone… Bigger than his head sized microphone. And he was singing in a foreign language into his microphone which was attached by a cord to his phone.  I don’t know if he was recording or just singing or on the phone with somebody who knows I just picked up the pace and kept walking. Freaky Friday!

Back to the sweet treats that I have been over indulging in. Today I feel positively sick from the suite. So I’m on track today… My body is demanding it today! If only I can make my head remember what my body is telling me right now. If I could figure out how to do that though I would be rich because that is the age old question to weight loss.

It was rainy this weekend and Jason‘s foot is still recovering, so we took it easy and relaxed a lot. We saw the movie Jigsaw,  did a little shopping, and had fun watching Mertz get jacked up on catnip and then play with her.

Skin of my teeth

I need to say that I wrote this post on Monday....oops I forgot to post!!!   Updates are in red!!

And I’m hanging on… By my teeth. Right now I’m not losing and I’m not really gaining. Well on my official weekly weigh in I lost 3.2 pounds....go figure!!! I just feel like I’m in no mans land. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and I don’t have the energy the time or anything that I need in order to get where I want to go. I know I’ve talked about the issues before so I’m not going to going to detail. I’m just going to say time is at a premium in my life right now and I don’t have a lot of it to spare.

The other weekend we stopped and got the most wonderful delicious donuts. I swear each one weighed a pound, I kid you not. I managed to maintain my weight for the next weigh in. Yes I was surprised considering I ate two of these huge donuts. But another problem came up shortly after that weekend.

I’ve talked about it on here for over the years. At certain points in my weight journey my stomach rubs the buttons and the waistband on my pants and it gets rubbed raw. Well not exactly raw  it just gets a really sore and looks painful. It is painful. Over the years I just learned to get big Band-Aids and cover the spot while I’m in that weight range / body shape timeframe. So after the donut weekend, a.k.a. last week; this happened. On Thursday I pulled out the big Band-Aids and plopped one on my skin. On Friday morning as  I took a shower I noticed the Band-Aid was still there so I ripped it off. And I ripped a nice size patch of my skin off. Can I say ouch? I bandaged it and went on to work and  had dealt with it. But let me tell you that’s motivation! What’s bigger motivation? Having to explain to your boyfriend who you love with all your heart that you’re fat rubs and causes wounds!  Embarrassing!!!

So here I sit bandaged up, carefully. And I’m tired of being this weight.  It’s got a change. For more reasons than what I just talked about also. I want to be healthy and hike. I want to be healthy and be able to ride my bike for longer periods. I want to be healthy and live a long time with Jason.  I want to live my life to the fullest.

I’ve come up with some ideas. Number one involves Siri on my phone. I am dictating my blog post while I drive home today. In this way I will only have to read it over and edit it when I get home. I know for me that writing in this blog has a way of keeping me accountable and honest with myself. This is the way that I might be able to continue with this activity that has helped me so much in the past. I don’t know if or when or how often I will be able to read other people‘s blogs but I’m gonna try to pop on when I can.

Accountability with friends.  I email Julie weekly!  And anyone else who wants accountability!!!

Exercise… This is a biggie! I have been walking at work on my lunches..... but during the week, that’s about it!! I actually miss running! But right now it’s pitch black when I leave for work and it’s dusk or later  when I’m getting home. In a perfect world I would be able to wake up an hour earlier and go running then… I however do not feel safe running by myself in the dark at 4 AM in the morning. I had already given up my gym membership and since we plan on moving sometime soon I don’t want to pick up another membership in the town I currently live in. My plan that I’ve been thinking about is to pull out the exercise videos/DVDs that I have stored away. When I was first losing my weight, way back  at the beginning of this blog I actually did quite a few exercise videos. Ideally I would like to do then at night but realistically I know that by the time I see Jason and eat dinner that I’m exhausted. So that means if I can’t start forcing myself to do it in the evenings I will be waking up an hour earlier in the morning… OK at least a half an hour. Yep this has not segued into real life yet...it’s just a glimmer of an idea!

As for the food… Those sweet treats have crept in. The thing that saving me is I typically eat at serving or two of fruit for lunch while I walk around the lake at work so my lunches are really healthy and that is negating the ice cream and or cake and or cookies and or candy that I eat.  What can I say other then the sweet treats have to go! I’m not even going to say 100% gone they just need to be severely limited. But boy was that Cinnabon good tonight!!!

It’s not the best options but it’s what I have to work with right now.

Jason and I are still doing well. We are planning to move closer to our work, which will ease up some of the time constraints. OK it will mostly take away the time issues. We have actually also talked about the food and we are both excited about eating at home and making healthy meals. (he actually eats healthier than me typically so I will be fine.)

Our weekends are fun. We have been getting a bike rides in most weekends and we both are looking forward to getting back to hiking now that the weather is cooling down.

Hold them...fold them..or walk away

Early this year I accepted a challenge to propel myself 2017 miles in the year 2017.  I was pushing  myself and actually was doing well...making mad miles in spring and summer.  And then well...it all went to hell in a hand basket!  I was right on target in July (ok within 25 miles of being right on target).    And that is when I fell apart!   No where close in August.  No where close in September!    But I am proud to say that while I was no where close....I wasn’t too far off either!!! 

In August I still managed to knock out 127.02 miles....  and in September I managed 124.77 miles.    Right now my yearly deficit is 117.23.     

I have toyed with throwing the folder with my stats into the garbage. 

But I hesitate because I don’t want to quit!   I am averaging about 2-3 miles a day.   I need 5-6 a day!    A nice long bike ride on the weekend helps elevate those numbers but it’s a long shot!  So for now I continue to half heartedly enter my numbers.  

We had a wonderful weekend....they are all wonderful and  the time together is so precious to me (to us)!  

We visited an old 1818 prison.....

And went to see the movie It.     And of course just spent time together.   Another fabulous weekend.

Now back to work!!!  And the count down to next weekend had begun!   

The plans for this week?  I’m going to restart the Matcha tea/ beet juice regime and see how that goes.   I’m going to walk as much as I can on my breaks and lunch (I have a rainy day plan....my building had a parking garage connected....walk through the garage to another building...up and down steps...around the garage...anything I can think of!!!  That’s the plan!!!)

It is what it is

I'm not making huge strides but I am holding my own at the slightly lower weight.   So that's a victory!    

I need to lose though!  My breakfast is light (ok ignore the pop tart that I had this morning..that's not normal) and t lunches are really healthy.   It really is my dinners that are sinking me.   And maybe not even my dinners so much.  It's the desserts that I have each night.   (Most nights!!!). If I can clean that up I could probably see results!!   

 I also know that my current 13 plus hour day is hindering me in eating healthy...in exercise...in everything.    There are some changes coming, but until then I just need to hold on!!!  

Surprisingly, I find myself driving through the neighborhoods where I have run for the last few years and I find myself super nalstalgic!   I actually really miss running! I know...shocks me too!!!!   Hopefully someday soon I can get back to that!!!

My work weeks are simply that...work eat and sleep...with a quick kiss and a hug from Jason each evening. (Like we see each other for 15 minutes or so.....and I wouldn't give up those 15 minutes for anything!!).   The weekends we spend together...and they are going well.  We have been riding a lot lately!

But with the projected cooler weather for this weekend (high of 70) we are talking about going hiking instead!!!!!   So I am somewhat active on the weekends at least!

Well then

My weight.....holding relatively steady.    It's not the lowest I saw from last week.  But it's not up where I have been stuck at for months!   So that's good!    

I've had three people tell me that it looks like I'm losing weight.   Desiree my coworker (and walking buddy), Jason who says he sees it in my face and my mom (mom's don't count though!!).   I don't see that the few pounds make that much difference but we shall go with it 

I'm enjoying the tracking free existence.  But I honestly do remain somewhat cognizant about what I'm eating.   And I try to eat mostly fruits and veggies at work!  I'm enjoying it so much that I signed up for some program (Rally) that helps with attaining health goals. And when one of the challenges was to track...I couldn't even bring myself to do it for the four weeks!!!     The Rally thing...it's through work and earns health care spending money that's out on a Visa card for me to use....very much like a healthcare spending account.  So heck yeah I'll do it!!!   But from what I see you also earn coins for your good healthy habits....and with those coins you can buy things  in an auction style format or you can use them to enter sweepstakes.   So rewards available in two formats for me.

So a simple picture from where we rode last weekend!

And RIP to my cat Ethel she was 17.5 years old.

150 calorie meal!!!

I have found a 150 calorie meal!!!   

Yeah I cracked up when I saw that on tv!!!

My weight is still dropping...slowly and steadily.  I'm not sure how or why but I'm rolling with it!

Why am I not sure????   My eating?   For breakfast I have been doing two slices of toast....or a breakfast belvita bar (or the Aldi brand version which are just as good and a fraction of the price!).   For lunch it's been 1-2 pieces of fruit while walking, and usually some pretzels or a granola bar (granola bars from Aldi's are good too!).  Dinner....had been whatever I want, and not at all caloric minded.  Seriously...a half of pizza and a half the next night.   One night I followed the pizza with some hostess mini donuts....  last night I had a half cold cut sub a bag (serving size three...oops) of cheese puffs, and some dessert (small piece of cake and this peanut butter crunch fluff stuff).  Oh and I had about 10-20 Reece's pieces at work!!  So no thought at all to eating healthy at night!!!

When I started seeing the weight come off I had this urge to attack my food.  Hello...it's been ingrained in me for so many years!   And honestly...I tracked for a day and a half! (Maybe just a day).   But I stopped again.  Tracking filled me with a sense of oppression!  I really debated long and hard about what I was doing.    And for now I'm going to ignore tracking.  The weight of doing it is bad for me right now....and something is obviously working without tracking!!!  Let's just  hope and pray it stays that way!!!!

The other change in my routine (other than work...) is that I caved and have begun to drink matcha tea in the morning.   Now let me backtrack and put it out there that I hate the taste of tea.   So I drink this stuff mixed with flavoring packs.....and I still cringe when I drink it.  But I promised to give it the hung ho go....and well...my weight is dropping.   There are reports that matcha helps boost metabolism and helps lose weight.  Hmmmmmmm. Maybe that's been the key!!!!!    I guess I will continue drinking this stuff for a while!!!!

Exercise....mainly weekend activities still.   But I have been walking on my two 15 minute breaks and my lunch break.  I've talked my coworker into adding steps to our walking routine, so we slip into the movie theater and walk up the double flight of stairs in the lobby on every break that we walk  (she complains...so I sometimes let her off the hook on the last break!).  I have also talked her into an activity for the next rainy day.   Ride the elevator to the lobby and climb up the steps to our floor!   Weee fun!   I'm not sure how long it will take us to climb up to our floor...so we will try it on our 30 minute lunch.....and if we lose steam on the way up?  The only floors we can exit onto are the floors where our badges give us entrance...the floors we work on.. or the lobby level..so if we make it half way and peter out, the only option is to keep going up or go back to the lobby.   My co-worker is desperately praying for sun!!!

 

Headway

I think I may be making headway!    Of late I have been dropping weight during the week...and then popping right back up there on the weekdays!    I figured this weekend would be no different....maybe even worse because after all it was a three day weekend!!!

Last Wednesday I was 236.4.   I was very happy with that because for months I've been stuck at 238.??  (It fluctuates but is always 238.somwthing).    I was determined to knock the weekend out of the water and maintain my 236 number and maybe even increase my weight loss. 

And then Friday happened....my co-worker and I walked on our lunch break...but instead of walking around the lake, we strolled through the shopping areas.  And we walked into the candy store.    Something called my name.

No, I didn't buy a Reece's cup pillow....but I bought some mini Reece's cups and some Reece's pieces.   I did share the cups with my coworkers and I only ate a few of the pieces (the rest are in my desk drawer!).  

It didn't get better from there.  I tried a chick-fil-a cookie,  I had Ben and Jerry's ice cream (hey we did at least split a pint), I had chips, I had mozzarella sticks, I had a subway cookie, I had more ice cream....and last night I had two Reece's cups!  It wasn't a stellar food weekend!

And I was HUNGRY all weekend...like headache level hungry!!!!

However, I guess I negated my eating with high level activity!

We went to Davis, West Virginia....

We rode bikes...

Most of the trails were a bit more technical than I was comfortable with at first.   (Obviously not the grassy area I took this picture on.).  I persevered though and I actually started to feel a bit more confident.  

And then......

Notice the tracks going off the boardwalk that went over a marshy area.   Yeah that's not a good sign.   Luckily I'm just a wee bit bruised and my wrist only hurts a wee bit (he wrist hurt worse but it's eased up!)

We saw some deer...

We went to Blackwater Falls and hiked a bit.

Saw lots of overlooks...

Gorgeous scenery....

History.....

And had lots and lots of fun together....

And on Tuesday morning my weight was still down at the lower weight of 236.0.    Oh my!!!!!!!

Dare I hope??????

Reflections

First of all let me say that my weight does seem to be dropping. Now let's not get too excited.   I haven't gone any lower than 2 pounds below that magic number.  (That stupid number on the scales that I have not been able to pry myself from.   And in fairnes righty now I drop down 2-3 pounds and then go back to that 'I'm stuck at' weight.  But the difference?  For months I would go two or three pounds (or more) over that weight and then drop back to that weight.  I never went under.   So I'm seeing the lower number more frequently. 

The weekends are my rough time now.   I am so busy at my job .and I've been walking with another gal during lunch breaks (it's good for me and for her it keeps her from going to her car to smoke...she is trying to stop...so a win win!!) and honestly, I haven't been overly hungry!!!   I guess I ate at my old job out of sheer boredom!!! So my work weeks are fine...my weekends are my downfall....we pick up fast food....yikes I know!!!   And I know that I could get the sandwich and forego the fries ...but I've lacked the will power!   And honestly...I could even get a salad but I don't!    

This week is different. I'm ordering and eating differently!!!!  Today is my official weigh in day and I showed down 2.4 pounds.  I want to keep that loss.  I'm NOT going back!!!!  

So I've not been exercising.  That's my lament. I miss running.  I know, crazy right?  But I just haven't figured out where to fit it in.   Jason tells me to give it time...as I settle in and relax and feel more comfortable with my job (and the knowledge that is still being pumped into my head doesn't exhaust me mentally which translates into physical lethargy) that I will figure it out. Plus I'm sure there are some more changes coming in the future that may make it easier!  But this has brought a few new thoughts into play.

One

The first time I lost the weight I wasn't heavy into exercise.   Yeah, I still rode my bike on occasion. Yeah,   I may have done an exercise video here and there.  But I wasn't hard core exercise.   It wasn't until I was looking at maintainance and then started regaining that I dove headfirst into exercise.  That gives me peace about my current 'just not working for me' status with exercise.   I know it's important.  I know I need it!  I know I want to do it.  But it's not a deal breaker in terms of success in this weight loss journey!

Two

Just a theory?  Was the running and heavier exercise making me me hungy and driving me toward more food and thereby counter acting my efforts?  I don't have an answer to this one.   But when I do figure this exercise thing out, I will be watching my intake of food and monitoring it more closely!!!  

Three

Let me start by saying that for years I've had feet problems (wow...like for over 30 years...dang I feel old!).  I refer to it as 'The Bone'.    (It actually looks like I have two ankles...and that lower bone is where the issues are...the bone and the tendons and ligaments around that bone).  Typically, I can deal with it and just have accepted foot pain as my friend and keep trucking.  But every once in a while they just plain and simple hurt...bad!  Very rarely did I have to turn around on a run and not complete the run because of The Bone.   Very rarely.....like maybe two or three times.  The Bone hadn't given me much grief in quite a few years.   In fact I almost completely stopped thinking about The Bone.    But within the last month or so The Bone has made its reappearance.   And boy does it hurt!   I wracked my brains to figure out why.  Is it due to a change in weather?  Is it some kind of weird your almost 45 but lets have a shift in your body....an adult growth spurt?   But then I realized the most likely cause.  Lack of exercise!!!!!  Well shucks!!!! Maybe the running was helping The Bone!!    I have no clue if that's it, but it certainly fits!

So onward and upward.   Making the best out of what I have and can do at this exact moment!!!

  

Exhausting

Learning a new job is exhausting!   My work week is me working...me seeing Jason for maybe 20-30 minutes.  Me coming home and grabbing a bite to eat.  Me staring vacantly at the wall until I fall asleep...which I'm embarrassed to say is usually by 9pm!!!!  Wash rinse repeat!

I don't work on my dollhouse, and I'm to the fun part in the kitchen .....putting in some of the wee little personal touches to make it seem real. (Trim work and cleaning up some things are still needed in this picture!)

Seriously....I bought a toaster last weekend (with two slices of bread!) and it's still in its original packaging....not in the kitchen!!!!!  That's tiredness!!!

Its tiredness that made me reach for my gearshift the other day to go from first to second and I started to pull the emergency break!  Hahaha. Yeah...mentally wiped out!!!

But the good news....this aspect of what I'm being trained on seems to be getting a bit easier.   So maybe.....

I keep saying I'm going to figure out exercise......still haven't figured that out.   I have been walking on my breaks and lunch.   The breaks really isn't much walking....by the time we take the elevator to the lobby and walk out of the building we are down to 10 minutes and then we have to return to our desks which takes 5 minutes.  But hey...we are moving!!!!!!   And we do walk at lunch!  Right now in training mode my lunches are the same time as the other new hire.   Eventually that will change but by then the walking habit will be well formed...hopefully.     I see one guy on my team head down the steps at the end of his shift....maybe I should start taking the steps down...and up!   I told my walking buddy that when it's raining or cold that we are going to do the steps!  She looked at me and said 'are you nuts?'  Little does she know that, yes...I probably am!!!

My eating...not perfect...not horrible.  Holding steady at my 'go to weight'   That weight I've been stuck at for ever!  

So nothing new to report.  Just hanging in and giving my body time to adjust to learning and yes the commute.  Yup...audio books are the way to go for a commute.  I actually look forward to the drive so that I can listen to the next couple chapters!  (Good books work!  I tried one book that was horrible and I hated it!!).  And yes...I'm wondering if I can talk Jason into listening to the next few chapters of the book I'm listening to while we are driving this weekend....seriously...the next chapter should be with the DNA tests results coming in and I wanna know what the results  are!!!!!!  But alas...6ish on Monday morning I'll be sipping my water , driving down the road and listening!!!  (Hmmm I should probably check out a new audio book too because I'm nearing the end of my current one!)

And my friend at work is telling me to drink infused water/detox stuff.   Water...lemon...apple cider vinegar...cucumber...ginger...and mint.   (Two bottles a day!)

Meanwhile Jason is telling me to drink Matcha Tea!   

I'll be floating if I do it all!!!!!

Placeholder

Just checking in.....writing a post as a placeholder to say that I'm not off the weight loss wagon.   But I'm not exactly on the wagon!   

I'm eating really healthy and good for breakfast and lunch.  Dinner is a bit rocky some days!

Exercise...non existent!

My weight.  Well, it's hanging in there.  My low low weight from last week was just a passing trend.   This week I've managed to be a pound lower than the weight that I've been stuck at.   So a victory because I'm lower than that weight...but sad because I'm not at the super low weight from last week.   

But like I said last week...life is catawompus and I'm not expecting anything to remain the same with my weight!

So what are my plans?????   Right now I'm just holding on tight.    I'm trying to get used to the commute and learn a new job.  But the biggest thing that I'm trying to work around is that I'm exhausted!  My alarm is only set for 30 minutes earlier than it's been set at for the last 10 years.  And honestly I was almost always awake by the earlier time anyway....so my sleep patterns shouldn't be all whacked out. But they are.  I've been awakening one to two hours before my alarm...wide awake and unable to go back to sleep (or if I do it's within the last 15 minutes before the alarm goes off!).   So then by 8PM I'm struggling to stay awake!   I fight sleep each night because seriously if I let myself sleep at 8PM 3:30-4AM will seem like sleeping in!!!!     So with my sleep patterns all messed up, On top of the stress and mental tiredness of learning a new job, on top of adjusting to a commute........yeah I'm just hanging on for dear life.

So it's 9:07PM and I suspect if I type too much longer that there will be nothing coherent (if even what I've already written is coherent at all)..so I will stop!!!!!

Gift horse

Who knows??  I certainly don't!!!  But for some reason my weight has dropped this week....I'm talking 3-4 pounds since Monday.   What????

What have I been doing???? 

Well it certainly hasn't been exercise!!!!! 

Eating?   My routine has been a bowl of cereal or some toast in the morning (I grabbed a muffin one morning in the cafeteria....delicious.....very moist and tasty....not a good thing for me to know!)  For lunch I've been having two servings of fruit and a protein/snack bar (aldi brand.).  Like this....or one of the similar ones I've changed which box I grab from each day!

For dinner I'm HUNGRY...so I've been eating pretty heavy...as in one night was a half of a pizza, half order of breadsticks and then to finish the un-healthy meal off.....I had a chick fil a milkshake.  (That puppy is somewhere around 800 calories on its own!).  Yes...I've had milkshake from there twice this week!   

Yes I finished strong this week!

Yet my weight is dropping!   Go figure!   I'm just rolling with it!   Maybe it was the stress and all of the underlying issues at my last job that was holding me back from losing?  Maybe it is nerves from the new job?   Maybe it's just something wrong with my scales.   I don't know but I'm not complaining!!!!

I haven't come close to figuring out the exercise thing in this new schedule.  (Yeah I should be running this morning...Saturday but ...well....maybe next week!!).  The only thing I have figured out is that it takes about 15 minutes for me to circle the lake that is by work building.   Why yes....two days I walked on my lunch break!!!   I do have a plan....with the commute/traffic and the strict attendance/late policy I plan on getting to work super early.   Yes I'm sure some days I will just read in my car....or on cold days read in the cafeteria.  But my plan is to walk the loop around the lake!  And on my lunch breaks when it's not so stinking hot!!!!!    That's my plan....and as for right now....those laps of walking is better than nothing!!!!!

Where am I walking??? (And proof that I walked two different days because one day looks gorgeous skies and the other is overcast)

Ths is the view from the terrace of the building I am in.  You can see the path winding at the bottom of the picture....and you can see a bit of the path in the top right corner.   It's about a mile (I think....I meant to check the distance but I forgot on the two days I clocked it for time!)

And in this picture taken from the path on  other side of the lake/pond.  

And if I want to stroll or shop...off to the right in the second picture is a little 'village style' shopping area....and a Dicks Sporting Goods and a Target.  We won't even mention all the delicious smelling restaurants in the area that I walk past!

So a very nice place to walk....and I certainly want to keep my weight loss from this going...so I plan on waking!!!

Open close

One chapter of my life is closed and a new one has opened.

What ended?  My time as a bank teller. 

  What began?   My new job.   (Sorry...no picture!).  

Last Wednesday was my last day at the bank. I spent Thursday and Friday running errands and doing all sorts of those little activities that just pile up and take time to do...I washed my quilt, got an oil change, did some shopping, purged some stuff from storage!  All in all it was extremely productive. (And expensive as my ignition on my car died....yikes!)

We spent a relaxing weekend hanging out...riding our bikes and then cleaning our bikes and chains and piling the chains up good....it was necessary after a bunch of rides that had us covered head to foot in mud!

And on Monday I started my new job.  So far so good...lots of HR stuff and lots of company overview and basic information about the job and company.   Real training will start on Thursday.  

So that brings me to my focus of this blog......weight and health.

My weight...237.  Which is on the low end for me.   But let's not get too excited.  Remember yesterday was my first day...meaning I had first day jitters....first day skip breakfast because my stomach was flipping with nerves.   First day nibble on lunch because my nerves had started to settle but I wasn't ready for a full meal.  (I ate like a pig at dinner though!)

My eating?  Not the greatest but I'm trying to fix that this week...start the new job with healthy habits!

Exercise?   I have an hour plus commute each way....I'm trying to figure this one out..  and admittedly, even though I sat most of the day...the overload of information made me so tired last night.   I sat around like a zombie!!!!

I will figure it all out...and in the meantime I just going to do my best!!!

Bad brings good

Well July is almost in the history books.    My weight....well it stayed the same...at the high end of my little current weight range.   I'm not happy....but I know that I didn't exercise like I should have and I also know that I had some badness that creeped into my daily routine (can I say king size Reece's cups?)

I am working to clean it up.   I stopped the Reece's cups....and have tried to add some more veggies and fruits!!!   This week we decided to make a big batch of bean salad for the week (super healthy and nutritious!!!)

And I have strawberries, nectarines, fresh pineapple and cherries!   Yummy!!!    

It was actually interesting.   We were in the grocery store and the bad stuff wasn't at all tempting....but fruit and veggies sounded and looked Aaaahhhh-mazing!!!   Our bodies were telling us what we needed to eat!!!

 I probably won't make my 10 pounds gone by August 7th.  I will be lucky if I show any kind of loss at all!!!  But you know what???  That's ok!     Sometimes we have to have a colossal failure before we can move on and have a wonderful success!!!!

My mileage for July.   I am definitely over budget on the necessary miles that I needed in order to not fall further behind.   In fact I will actually work off some of my decicit of miles that I need for the year.   I will definitely have my final numbers when the month is over!

This weekend we relaxed a bit on Saturday.  It was a long week for both of us and we needed to just sit back and 'be'.   We did go to the Cacapon State Park Resort.  Neither of us had ever visited. However we had both heard about it.   So since we were driving through the area we stopped.   It is pretty!  Cabins...a lodge...nature galore!!!!   We will probably go back to stay for a weekend!!!!

  On Saturday we were out on our bikes.    I don't know what happened but from the get go my legs felt like lead weights!!!!   I pushed on thinking that they would loosen up!  No they didnt.  Bike mile 10 or 11 they were aching.   By mile 14 my wrists were sore also.   I managed but I was ready to be done....and my grand plans to do a 25-30 mile ride were put on hold.   15 was plenty!   (Conversely...Jason was exhausted and kept talking about how he just wanted to take a nap...so who knows what our problem was yesterday!!!

Maybe our problem was that this week there was no mud!!!!  

It's been the year of turtles....so many turtles crossing the trails in front of us!!!

All that said we still had smiles on our faces as we enjoyed the gorgeous weather together!!!