I"m Lacking in Resolutions

New Years Eve came and went and I have not done any of those typical things that happen at the beginning of the year for people who are serious about losing weight and getting fit.  I haven't done a single solitary thing.  Resolutions?  Nope, I didn't set them.   Write down goals?  Nada.  Not a one.   Did I even write down a word of the year?  Can't say that I did.   Why?  Well, I just didn't feel like it.  But that doesn't mean that I don' have an idea of how I want this year to go.

Theme of the Year

I have chosen words of the year previously.  I have even broken it down to words of the month and words of the week.  I love love love the concept.  But I didn't do it this year.  But that said, I have an idea of what my year theme is.  My theme is rebirth and recovery.  I have been struggling with a lot lately.  I've struggled with depression and an overwhelming sadness.  Along with that comes the anxiety and lack of self worth.  All of it goes hand in hand together and it is perfectly matched with my weight loss efforts.  To recover my physical health, I need to fix myself internally.  That is my theme.....recovery.

How am I proposing to do this? 

  First of all, lots of prayer when the anxiousness and depression threatens to overwhelm.   The last few days I have felt some of these feelings and I have prayed for peace and then after my prayer I mentally force myself to walk away from the overwhelming feelings.  Sure, the feelings came back....but my theory is that it will take them longer and longer to come back each time.

Secondly, I am putting myself first.  I am signing up for my exercise class.  I know that it will inconvenience our home life.  I won't be getting home until around 7:15-7:30 each night.  That's late for someone that has an alarm that goes off at 5AM.   Dinners will have to be pre-planned and prepared well in advance, utilizing the crock pot, the insta-pot and the use of casseroles that can be popped into the oven when Jason gets home to be ready for my arrival.    As inconveniencing as it is, I can't continue to ignore myself and run myself ragged in an effort to take care of everyone else.  It's not that I don't want to take care of Jason anymore, I just know that I have to take care of myself first. (In taking care of myself I will be better equipped to take care of Jason).   But the most important thing is that I am putting myself first because even though I don't always believe it, I know that I am worth every ounce of effort I put into myself. 

Third, I am focusing on things that make me happy.   Last year I read 200 books, yes exactly 200.  It was a day or two before the new year and I saw that I was at 199 and I  knew that I didn't want to leave it at 199....so I made sure to finish the book that I was reading before midnight on New Years Eve.   I love to read and it does make me happy.  So I will be continuing to read. But I will also be doing crafty things.  I love the creativity involved in making quilts (yes I know I still need to take a picture of my memory quilt) and in doing my dollhouse/miniatures.  So I will be focusing on that.  It makes me happy and it reminds me of who I really am!

Weight Loss

I haven't set any main goals for the year.  I am not vowing to lose such and such amount of pounds. I didn't set a resolution to keep my calorie count at a specific number or below.  Same with water and exercise.  I have no set goals.

However, I WILL be working on my weight loss and fitness journey.  I have not been calorie counting.  I've done that for over 20 years.  I'm weary of that.  What I am doing instead is writing down my food.  I am just not adding a number to it in terms of calories and points.  Writing it down as of right now has been sufficient enough make me cognizant of what I am eating, which is the trick for me. (Remember I've had had 20 years of tracking so I kinda know WHAT I need to do even without the numbers attached to each piece of food I put into my mouth).   On Friday at work I did have a Reece's Cup.  It was a miniature and I only had one!  I WANTED more, but I kept it at one.  I knew I had to write it down and I didn't want to write down any more than one!     This may have to be adjusted in a few months or maybe even next week.  But for right now I am trying to focus on eating intrinsically with the reminder (call it a check and balance)  that I have to write it down when it's all said and done.  

 Fitness

As I have said a few times, I have this new exercise class that focuses on flexibility and mobility.   I will be continuing to walk the dog in the mornings (brrr it's so darn cold walking her at 6AM).   I plan on starting some cardio form of exercise within a week or two.  I dread it, because for me to do it I will be exercising at 5AM while Jason is in the shower.  (I hate hate hate doing it that early....but anything else and it won't get done!).   And that's it.......I plan on exercising.  No set number of times....just plan on kicking back in...hopefully the week of the 12th (unless this new class kicks my behind so much that I delay it a bit to get into that routine!)

Finances

I have been really enjoying working on my dollhouse and miniatures.  It has been costing me some money.  That is OK, I have spending money allotted in my budget.  But I can see how this could be an issue if I keep spending at the rate that I have been spending.   I also have been not saying no when my co-workers ask if I want to order out for lunch....which turns out to be between 10-20 dollars each time!  Ohhh yeah, and there are those days that I am on my way to work and decide that a breakfast sandwich (and tater tots and a drink) would be fabulous.  That ends up being about $10.  I have been able to add to my savings and I'm happy with how that account is looking and how it is growing. But I know that if I want it to keep growing something has to give.  I can't keep eating out all the time and buy miniatures and the supplies I need to make miniatures.  One has to go.  I have decided that the eating out has to be curtailed.  So I will be declining most if not all of the meals out in conjunction to work.  The added bonus?   Think of all those calories saved!  

Speaking of miniatures, I will share some pics of the miniature projects here at some point, but lately I have been doing the not so exciting things like building walls, painting, planning....and just not picture friendly things like making a spiral staircase that isn't installed yet so it looks not as fun.   

 

New Year Equals New Plans

Welcome to the new year! 

2018 ended with a bang sneeze for me.   Yes, I have been sick for what seems like weeks..  We were struggling with something in mid December and it finally came to a head and I have been sick as a dog for the last few days.  I think I have turned the corner and today felt mostly human.  So it's finally time to talk about the plans for the new year!

I am not setting any resolutions.  It's as simple as that!   A year is a long time.  People make goals for the year but then stumble and give up.  So I'm not setting any yearly goals.  That doesn't mean I don't have plans for 2019 though!bb I AM going to work to try to live a healthier lifestyle.  Yes, ultimately I would like to weight less....but my only thoughts for the new year is one of health!

That said....I DO have monthly goals for January!

1.  Track every bite of food
2.  Put money into my savings
3.  Weight less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week.

So day one is over.

I tracked.  I also DID get out and walk.  I got more steps yesterday then I have gotten in AGES!  We didn't want to do anything stenuous.  So we ended up going to a HUGE graveyard and walking!   It was just what we needed.  I got over 5 miles of walking in.  So I'm happy.  But after being sick for so long the activity really kicked me in the behind!  (Seriously...WEEKS....and about a month before that I was having a tightness in my chest that alerted me to the oncoming onslaught of illness).  Enjoy the pictures from our walk through the graveyard.

Chapel

Confederate Graves

Neat moss growing on a bench

A perfectly shaped tree

So here I am heading into day two.  The first day is always easy......so now is when it starts to get hard!!!!!  I can roll through January successful and reach my goals....and that will only build to my year of health!

Well then...

So I had made my plans to be healthy come the new year....I made them a week or so before New Years...and vowed to start on day one.    So how did that plan work out for me ?

The last few days of 2017, I ate like a wild boar that hadn’t seen food in three years!   I’m telling you...It was bad!   Cakes, donuts, candy, cookies and pie!  It was ugly!  In my mind I kept saying ‘one last hurrah before the serious healthy stuff begins’.   And that was the mistake. I should have started immediately and not thrown my hands in the air and commenced with a foodapalooza!  Still not convinced it was bad?   I ate and ate and ate.  Each night I would feel stuffed...I would have slight stomach aches.  But I trucked on...remember I’m an addict...food is my addiction!   Every night got worse.   And then finally...I hit rock bottom.   New Year’s Eve...we ate dinner.  I wasn’t overly hungry when I came to dinner time...but I ate and it was delicious!  I finished dinner and I made the comment that I was stuffed...that I felt like I needed to go for a long walk or run or something!   Yet a half hour later I ate a huge piece of cake...and shortly after that a donut....and right around midnight I found myself eating tortilla chips!   Is it wrong that while I ate all this I kept saying ‘this is the end...healthy tomorrow!’   We went to bed at around 12:30 or 1.  I was ready to start the new year with healthy eating!

I woke up at 3am...my stomach was in knots!  I remembered the feeling well.  I used to have stomach aches constantly way back in the day...once I got my eating under control the constant stomach aches disappeared....but it was back.  A trip to the bathroom and then I curled up in a ball and slept until 5....a trip to the bathroom and then some more sleep!  I was miserable until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon!  I know my body just had had enough of the gorge of food!!!

Maybe I had to hit rock bottom to see the light and finally be ready to roll into the new year and to form (re-form) the healthy habits!

So day one was an incredible success in terms of eating.   January first i couldn’t even think about food until about 8 PM...and I had a light sandwich!  

Yesterday January 2...I didn’t do too bad.  Not perfect but I’m happy with my choices and how I managed my food!  Even better...on my breaks I rode the elevator down to the lobby and I carted myself back up all the flights of stairs on foot!  It’s not a lot of exercise...but 8 flights of stairs twice a day is better than riding the elevator!!  I’m sticking with the 8 flights twice a day for a while.  I am seriously out of breath after the 8 flights.   When that gets easy I will add more floors just keep goinbg up and then walk back down until my whole break is steps!  And right now I’m leaving my lunch mostly intact.  As it gets easier I believe I may throw in the steps on my lunch...but right now I’m just proud to have done the steps twice!!  (The steps should hopefully help when we get back to hiking heavy...as soon as the weather breaks!)

Now I head into day three....I’m sure I will rock this day!!!    

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!!    

This past year.....wow.  It was a year filled with incredible happiness and a year filled with absolute and utter sadness.  One extreme to the other, for sure!

I enjoyed a second year with Jason...and that is the happiness, peace and joy.  

The first part of the year we were super active...but then we each changed jobs and our time for active pursuits was seriously diminished.  But we still got out on the weekends.  

We did get bike rides in.....

We got some hiking in.....

We made it to the ocean a few times..

We spent as much time together as humanly possible within the confines of work and life responsibilities.

We are happy and still moving forward in our relationship. (The first change...we are looking for an apartment to share closer to our respective jobs....currently my commute on normal days is 1.5 to 2 hours each way)

The sadness...yes I lost my father. 

And that is where my weight loss/maintenance went to hell in a hand basket. I let my addictions free and started eating like crazy...

For the first part of 2017, I maintained my weight...but from summer to late fall I somehow managed to slowly start losing.  It was a slow slow slide, but the numbers were going down.   Hey, I’ll take it, slow still  wins the race!!!

But then I lost control and within one week gained five pounds!   Right now, I’m hovering at 8-10 pounds higher.  

I’m miserable at my weight.  My body is screaming it’s protest in many ways!  

When I switched jobs my exercise went out window too...4 hours in my car a day did that in!!!  It’s hard to even contemplate going for a run when it’s pitch black outside and you are bone tired!  My 2017 miles in the year 2017....I was totally on track in August when I started my new job...but well, that went to pot!!  

So I guess it comes as no surprise that my New Years Resolutions center around healthy pursuits! And let me backtrack and talk abut resolutions.  There is no rule that says that you have to make a New Years resolution.   There is also no rule that says you have to wait u til New Years to start something like a new lifestyle.  If you have that mentality, then a New Years resolution is a bad thing for you....because you are losing 364 other days of the year for greatness!   For me New Years is just a time where I’m wrapping up a calendar year and facing a new calendar year.  It’s the perfect time to reflect upon where I was...where I am...where I’m going.   The rest of the world calls it New Years resolutions....so guess what?  I’m going to just call my re-evaluation a New Years resolution!!!

So what are they????    

Lose Weight, be Healthy, be happy!!

Nothing with direct numbers attached...no ‘I will weigh such and such’ or ‘lost so many pounds’.   Very loose goals and ambitions.  But the healthy and happy should be every day of our life goals!!!  As for lose weight/maintain a healthy weight, honestly, if I’m healthy happy, the weight should correct itself!

Plans to achieve my resolutions:

1. Blog more...it helps me stay tuned in and focused!

2. Weigh daily/at least weekly 

3.  Exercise ....this should get easier after Jason and I move!  However in the meantime I can at least be active...I can walk up and down the steps in my work building...there are 14 floors. (Since I’m a wimp and it’s kinda cold outside and that keeps me from walking on my breaks!!). I have that stair stepper thing at home too.  And I have tons of videos!

4.  Reign in the eating...that might mean tracking my food again.   The freedom from constantly entering my food has been nice...but I think right now I may need it!  (And notice tracking is not a resolution...because I would actually prefer to try to get back to the point where I don’t have to track!)

And the crazy thing???  Im actually excited about the changes I’m making and the end result!!!!