Stars stars everywhere: a plan for staying on track

Over the multitude of years on this healthy lifestyle journey I have changed my operating procedure quite a few times.  I have tried all sorts of things.  I have counted points with weight watchers and calculated calories with a variety of different websites and apps on my phone.  I have monitored exercise with stickers in 

my day planner and kept track of my running in a running journal.  I have swung wildly through various different means of organization as I work on this lifestyle. 

 There is no right way.  Something that works for someone may not work for someone else.  One of my friends shuts down if it becomes competitive….yet I thrive on competition.  Just look at   me a few years ago when Jason and I had a competition going with running. I worked to match him mile for mile because I was NOT going to let him get ahead.  I didn’t want to lose and I DEFINITELY wanted to gloat!   So competition works for me!   Sometimes though, what worked for me last month or last year  might no longer work for me.  It really is a constant adjustment to match our tactics and efforts to stay the course on this healthy lifestyle with up to date and current ideas, plans and goals.

A while back I was using a streak tracker.  I liked it, but it was hard to ‘live’ because if I fell off track one day it messed up my streak.   I stopped using it because it didn’t allow me to live and be healthy....it was too restrictive. 

So that brings me to my current thought.  I don’t know how well it will work and it may be gone by the end of the month,  but I’m going to give it a go.  I have seen something similar over the years and I have done versions of the same thing over the years, usually just for one aspect of my healthy living.  It just seemed like it was the right thing to do at this point in my life.  I quickly decided that I wanted simplicity.  I didn’t want an extra notebook or extra anything, it had to fit into my life…and any tracking had to fit into my current day planner.  So without further ado, I announce my star plan.

This is a very simple plan.  Every day in my day planner I will be giving myself a star for certain activities.  I am giving myself some ‘freebie’ activities that are easy to earn the star and some stars require more work.   So what can I do to earn a star?

1.        Track my food every day. (an easy star)

2.       Weigh myself every day .  (another easy star)

3.       Exercise at least 20 minutes, 4 days a week. It doesn’t matter if it’s walking, running, crawling or whatnot….exercise 20 minutes!  (not so easy star……well it’s easy to do….hard to get going to do it!)

4.       Keep my food level in my appropriate predetermined range….for me this is between 1200 calories and 1530 calories.  (why those calories?   1530 is the amount that myfitnesspal says I can eat and still lose 1.5 pounds a week….which is still a respectable figure).  I figure that this needs to be done 6 days a week.  (Ok, it should be 7… and most weeks I can manage that just fine, but I need to account for ‘life’ happening and embrace the fact that there will be failures!)

5.       Stay on the low end of my calorie goal 2 days a week.  This is 1300 calories or under.  Realistically, I would like this to be lower also….but once again….I’m embracing life and saying “I would rather lose slowly but in a healthy sustainable manner”

So what does this mean?  35 stars per week would be an absolutely perfect week.  It would mean that I tracked and kept my food at 1200-1300 each day, I weighted every day AND I exercised each day for 20 minutes.   Absolutely perfect!  But I’m not aiming for perfect.  I am aiming for   living life and making this work for me and allowing myself to have days where I stumble.  SO to have a win?  I am aiming for 26 stars each week!

26 stars each week.  

For the month of February (28 days) I need to accumulate 104 stars

For a month with 30 days, I need 108 stars

For a month with 31 days I need 110 stars.

Easy peasy!  It is a silly mind game….it is a stilly method to keep myself on track.  But guess what…every time I open my day planner, I’ll see those stars and know what I need to do!   It may be silly, but if it works….that’s all that that matters. 

The battle in my Mind

I was driving to work the other morning and started to think about where I am in this weight-loss journey and I was filled with mixed emotions. I have mixed emotions about where I am, where I’ve been, what I’m doing and everything. For me, the best way to work things out is by putting you down in black-and-white. So here goes.

I am still immensely proud of myself for what I have accomplished in the weight-loss arena. How many people can say that they were once over 300 pounds and lost down to where they were considered healthy and the perfect weight  (according to my doctor I was right in line) I am proud of that fact. But, on the flipside I am embarrassed to be the weight that I am right now. I know that the weight regain is all my fault. I can attribute stress of a divorce, changes in life, and a whole variety of other life situations as reasons why I regained…excuses.   But I am the cause!  What conflicting emotion!   Pride wars with self shame!

I want to lose this weight fast! Who wouldn’t. I did the restriction thing before, and it does work. (Obviously since I lost well over 100 pounds). I’m not restricting my diet this time, well  I’m not instituting major restrictions.  Consequentially, the weight loss is much slower this time around. I am not having the 2 to 3 pound loss each week like  I had the first go round with this weight loss journey.  However, I am also still eating pizza, ice cream, cakes and candy.  It’s just in moderation!   It’s slower.....much slower!  But that is where my mixed emotions come into play.  I have a friend on weight watchers who lost about 10 pounds in August!  (Go Julie). I have lost 12 pounds...in JULY and August!    I vacillate between the desire to knuckle down and strictly  re-strict and lose this weight  fast (relatively) and the desire to stay the slow and steady course. I have chosen this course simply because the fast (faster) way worked short term, but it didn’t teach me how to live and still have a balance with the foods I love.  (Cakes, candy, pizza, etc).

Now if I have learned anything from writing a weight loss blog over the past 13 years, I have learned that best laid plans are subject to change!   I have written extensively about a belief or idea only to a year later do an about face and go down a different path.  Life changes, our bodies change as we age, our circumstances change and with those changes come alterations in our plans and beliefs.   I’m ok with that. What is working today may not work tomorrow.  Right now, even though I am vacillating in my emotions on my path, I am continuing forward with the belief that my path is teaching me long term eating habits that will set me up for a lifetime of healthy eating along with a healthy weight.   

So the warring emotions?   Let them battle...I’m still pushing forward on my chosen path!   Health is the end result, that’s what matters!!!

Victories from this week:

* I made cheesecake on Sunday...I ate NONE!

* I made cookies on Thursday....I didn’t stuff myself full of cookies!!!!!(in fairness I had two..maybe three...small cookies)

Trouble spots this week:

* I have discovered a delicious edible cookie dough recipe.  (I sometimes wonder if it’s even worth my time as I’ve been eating raw cookie dough with eggs and unbaked flour since I was a wee lassie).   It’s hard for me to resist when we have it in the fridge!   We finished up one batch and I was asked to make a second batch!  Yeah I didn’t say no, I made it...I ate it!

* I have in the past dealt with a sore aching hip..the pain radiated down the back of my thigh.   That has reared it’s ugly head!!!!

Lessons learned this week;

*Just because I love something that tastes delicious (like the edible cookie dough) I don’t have to have a huge serving.  I can easily make more...at the very worst I would have to pick up an ingredient at the store which would delay the treat by a day at most!!! (Who am I kidding, I always have the stuff to bake something!). There is NO need to eat a ton....a small bite or two would be sufficient to satisfy my taste buds!!!  (The first bite is the aha moment anyway!!)

Weigh in

I have been holding steady at my current weight.  Not losing...not gaining.   I want to lose but I’m ok with the maintain.  After the crazy month of fluctuation this is a welcome relief!  Maybe my body is finally adjusting to whatever was causing the weight craziness!!!

Weekend plan

We have no major plans as of yet.  We have talked about going away.   Plus there are a few line items that have to be done (laundry, groceries, house cleaning) and a few line items on the list that are a want (shampoo the carpet, wash the quilt on the bed).   We have talked about wanting to do something fun and unless life gets in the way that’s a definite!!!   Time will tell!!!

It’s ok until: My new weigh in/scales plan

This hasn’t been a crazy exciting week for me.   It hasn’t been a mind blowing week in terms of weight loss.  However, I have been thinking about some stuff in terms of weighing myself.  I’ve also been thinking a lot about some other things in terms of ideas.  

Weigh in

First of all let’s talk about what the scales said for my official Friday Weigh in.  I wasn’t expecting awesome things.  My weight has been hovering at a higher (like two to three pounds higher).   I didn’t eat crazy this week to warrant it though!  I didn’t go overboard on anything this work week.  But I just wasn’t seeing the scales move.   To add to my low expectations?  On Thursday I actually missed my water intake goal. By a LOT!  I only finished two bottles of water and that was it!  That’s not even 40 oz!   So yeah, not expecting great things.   So I was really shocked to see 246.8 on the scales this morning!   I’ll take it.  

Exercise for the week

I did walk on my breaks at lunch.  Every day.  And I even managed short walks on my 15 minute breaks!

Scales

The scales have long had a hold on me.  I weigh every day and just recently I started to drown in the numbers  .  I made some changes that seemed to work a bit...and in honesty even brought some of the excitement in getting my weekly official weight on those official days.   But this week I  read a few blogs this week and two different people (sorry I can’t remember who, it wasn’t until a few days later that the words really sunk in and made an impression upon me) wrote about how they are trying to not obsess about the scales and how they are ok with a range of numbers.  They made me really think!  And what I realized is that it sounded like it lined up with the plan I am working.   I am determined to live my life and not be so worried about every little bite.  My plan? I want to be able to have a piece of cake here and  there and to not worry about the ice cream indulgence on a hot summer day.  So that said, I should expect my weight to fluctuate somewhat.   So I’m going to start trying to think in terms of ‘never more than 3 pounds from my lowest (recent) weight.’   So this week my lowest weigh in recently was 246.6.  So my ‘it’s ok until’ number right now is 249.6.    When I see a lower number on the scales..let’s say 244.2. Then my ‘it’s ok until’ number is 247.2.   Three pounds.   This is NOT a foreign concept to me.  This was my maintenance mode plan that I was going to follow when I reached my weight watchers goal weight.  I just lost control too quickly back then!   So in theory if I’m practicing this action now, I’ll be better prepared to maintain when I reach my goal!!    I know I will still weigh in every day.  It keeps me focused on pushing forward.  But this plan of ‘it’s ok until’ will help keep me from those little bobbles upward that are disheartening....at least that’s the theory.  

Weekend beginnings

I am off work today.  I know my eating will be a bit higher as I’m going to lunch with my mom, sister in law, niece and nephews. And to add to that, Friday night is pizza and wings night here at the Jason/Maryfran mansion!    I’m up and showered early.  I’m planning on getting the groceries done early. And maybe working on a few things on my computer.  I have been editing some writing and I have also been going back and rereading old posts and labeling those old posts so I can find them more easily.  (I didn’t tag old posts back when I wrote them, so when I want to link something it takes me forever to read through a gazilkion posts to find what I want.)

Trust the plan

For the last week or two I have actually been feeling very positive about where I am with my eating, where I am with my exercise and where I’m going with my weight loss journey. I’m feeling stronger, more empowered and honestly more capable of once again completing this task of losing weight. So it came as a complete shock to me during the last week to be paralyzed with fear.

Let me backtrack, the plan that I am currently working with for my weight-loss efforts involves a balancing act. I’m not giving up anything… I’m balancing. I know for me right now deprivation is not going to work. So I’ve devised a plan that actually is working for me. Slowly, but surely. Honestly it really is a fine line. I am still eating a sweet treat most nights. This could blow up in my face really really quickly and easily. I have tried to set up a check system so that I don’t eat the sweet treats when I shouldn’t, but it really is a crapshoot. Why am I willing to take this risk? I think the biggest reason is because for me it gives normalcy. Normal is what I’m striving for. I don’t want to live a life where I’m constantly stressed about my food choices.  And let’s face it, for the first time in a long time I am excited about this journey.

Enter the fear. It started last week, the one day that I did not earn my steps but still ate the sweet treat. I laid in bed that night wailing and gnashing my teeth in fear that I had gained weight from my little bobble. OK, maybe that was a little melodramatic… A lot melodramatic! But in all seriousness, I was worried. I was starting to see movement on the scales in the right direction and I didn’t want to upset that progress. It turned out OK though. (In fairness I didn’t totally go off track and I got right back on track the next day.)

On Monday I wrote about the weekend  I wrote about my hunger on Sunday that lingered into Monday causing my calorie counts to go a little bit higher than I wanted them to be. Enter the fear. I worried! I really worried.

On Tuesday morning I stepped on the scale for a little check of my weight. I looked down and saw the number and let out a sigh of disgust. On one hand, I was happy because it was a maintain from a week earlier. But on the other hand I was disgusted because it was a maintain for the week and a gain for the weekend.  What happened to all of my effort from the previous week. There was nothing I could do other than move forward. I had already figured out why I was so hungry those days and in doing so had pinpointed the problem, which means I know how to correct it for the future. There really was nothing else I could do but move forward.

I moved through my Tuesday with a smile on my face. And while I ate my sweet treat, I wasn’t worried about it because I had met the criteria that I had set aside a couple weeks back for eating a sweet treat at night. In the back of my mind I wondered if I wasn’t a bit dehydrated though, I drank  the same amount of liquid at work… But almost immediately I had to pee constantly. In my experience whenever I start drinking after being dehydrated I pee a lot to get rid of the water that I was retaining. I refused to think about it deeply and just kept moving forward.

Wednesday dawned and a new day, a new chance to step on the scale. I was so relieved to see the lower number on the scales this morning.. My effort from last week is back! Hallelujah! While I was in the shower one thought kept going through my head… Trust the plan.

Trust the plan? If you have a solid plan in place for weight loss, the wait is going to come off. A slight aberration in the plan is not going to derail you. Trust the plan.

On Monday night I set out running clothes and set my alarm for 30 minutes earlier. I must’ve been insane! But, when that alarm went off I rolled out of bed through all my clothes and headed outside for a run. I got out there and it was misting… Not a full rain thank heavens. I didn’t let that mist stop me. I ran anyway! I was wearing my glasses, and they fogged up something horrible. I push them up on my head and kept running. I did it!



About the glasses… Yes I’m pretty blind without them. I was able to see and stay on the sidewalk and when I had to cross the road I could see that there were no cars there for sure. So in that regard I was safe. However if there was some stalker or person out to do me harm hiding behind a tree… I wouldn’t have seen them. For example as I approached a street corner I saw what looked like a tree or somethingand then the tree moved. A quick flip down at my glasses revealed that it was a person walking their dog that had stopped to let the dog do their business. Yeah that’s how my run went. Never a dull moment. 

Luckily my work break walks were serene!!

It’s hump day today… And today, I’m just trusting my plan.

The Master Plan

The other year when I lost the weight, I refused to call what I was doing at diet. I know that whatever I do to lose the weight, it needs to be a lifelong processes. I can't slack off when the weight is gone, or it will come back. So my first process was to get the word diet from my vocabulary. I was changing my eating habits. The other thing that was revolutionary (in today's day and age at least) was not following any of the diets out there. I truely believe that to be healthy we need all types of foods....just in moderate amounts. And right there is the key to my plan. I need to really pay attention to my portion sizes! Which means no double helpings....or 'big' spoon fulls. To do this the last time, I actually measured my food for a while. It is quite difficult to drop...because my body is used to eating that amount of food....and it seems unsatisfied when I don't get it. However, I found that eating till I am full is a totally different feel than eating until I am satisfied. And the feeling of being satisfied is a much better over all feeling.

The other portion of that magical sentence was 'all types of foods'. I don't limit my foods and say I can't have anything. I tried to make my base meals very healthy...plenty of vegetables and fruits. I ate lots of salads. I tried to eat very well rounded meals.

In this way, I feel as if I curbed some of the cravings that would naturally come. I believe that cravings or that feeling of being hungry for 'something' is actually our body telling us that we 'need' something. We may not know what it is...but our bodies need some nutrient. So by eating healthy well balanced meals....I suffered MUCH less of the cravings that I normally suffer. THere was no need...my body was being satisfied.

I also didn't deny myself. I ate the Pizza...I had a piece of cake....I had a cookie. I didn't deny myself when I saw something that really struck my fancy or when it was there. The operative attitude was that instead of eating THREE pieces of cake....I only ate one small piece. Instead of eatinc a half of pizza, I ate 1 or 2 slices. MODERATION. In this way, I never felt deprived.

Yes, I was exercising regularly.......which I plan on doing. I rode the exercise bike...walked with my husband....walked on my breaks at work......and did sit-ups (on the balance ball once I purchased it). I know that my plan was contingent on the exercise....but however it wouldn't have worked with both aspects!

So there you have it...my plan to get myself into shape!