Healthy vs weight loss

I made a vow a week or so ago.  I vowed that I was going to be hot on the trial of getting fit!   I was going to go full bore ahead!  There was nothing that was going to stop me!   I was going to run every lunch break (or at least every other lunch!).  Oh yes.  I was going to set this weight loss journey on fire!

The day before my new me work week started we were out hiking and I felt a twinge of pain in my heel.  Oh yes....I did!

Yes, the plantar fasciitis was back!   I have had some issues with this in the past.  I talked about being diagnosed in this post way back in 2013.   And the issue has reappeared every once in a while in posts since then. 

That first bout was the worst.  But since then, I have learned that if I catch it early and take some steps in the first few days of slight pain and then I’m good and it doesn’t last long.  The main thing is that I IMMEDIATELY wrap my foot in KT tape.  (Amazon Associate Link).   Secondly and to a lessor extent, I try to ease up a little on high impact things...but I have in the past continued to run and had no problem!

As soon as I felt the twinge of pain a week ago I knew what it was.  I hadn’t forgotten.  But I was set to start running.  I was determined!   So I ignored the pain!

I didn’t wrap my foot.  And I went out for some torturous first runs...which is harder on my body than ‘continuing’ to run!

By Friday it was bad enough that I could barely put weight on my heel and I caved and taped my foot.

I also went running that day....and it hurt!  You see I wasn’t going to give in!  I had made a vow!

It wasn’t until I was on my bike (and struggling) on Sunday that I had an epiphany!   There are a few facets.  So here they go and you will see how they evolve and grow.

I need to focus on riding if I want to improve on the mountain bike trails.......What a waste that I have that nice indoor bike that I haven’t used in a few months......My foot doesn’t hurt while I’m riding.....My foot sure hurts while I am running.....

Why am I pushing to run at the moment if it’s causing an injury/ailment?.....I could stay inside and ride the exercise bike on my lunch breaks.   That would give me a good 20 minute workout....A bike ride would keep my off my foot....I would be working to improve my HEALTH and not tear myself apart!

And with that, I decided to put my quest to run on hold once again.  I am sure I will restart at some point in the next month or two.   But for the moment, I am going to focus on riding that exercise bike on my lunch breaks! This journey is not about getting to the end result at all costs.  It is about getting to the end result in the healthiest and strongest manner possible!   Stepping back from running is a healthy choice for me at the moment!  

Stars stars everywhere: a plan for staying on track

Over the multitude of years on this healthy lifestyle journey I have changed my operating procedure quite a few times.  I have tried all sorts of things.  I have counted points with weight watchers and calculated calories with a variety of different websites and apps on my phone.  I have monitored exercise with stickers in 

my day planner and kept track of my running in a running journal.  I have swung wildly through various different means of organization as I work on this lifestyle. 

 There is no right way.  Something that works for someone may not work for someone else.  One of my friends shuts down if it becomes competitive….yet I thrive on competition.  Just look at   me a few years ago when Jason and I had a competition going with running. I worked to match him mile for mile because I was NOT going to let him get ahead.  I didn’t want to lose and I DEFINITELY wanted to gloat!   So competition works for me!   Sometimes though, what worked for me last month or last year  might no longer work for me.  It really is a constant adjustment to match our tactics and efforts to stay the course on this healthy lifestyle with up to date and current ideas, plans and goals.

A while back I was using a streak tracker.  I liked it, but it was hard to ‘live’ because if I fell off track one day it messed up my streak.   I stopped using it because it didn’t allow me to live and be healthy....it was too restrictive. 

So that brings me to my current thought.  I don’t know how well it will work and it may be gone by the end of the month,  but I’m going to give it a go.  I have seen something similar over the years and I have done versions of the same thing over the years, usually just for one aspect of my healthy living.  It just seemed like it was the right thing to do at this point in my life.  I quickly decided that I wanted simplicity.  I didn’t want an extra notebook or extra anything, it had to fit into my life…and any tracking had to fit into my current day planner.  So without further ado, I announce my star plan.

This is a very simple plan.  Every day in my day planner I will be giving myself a star for certain activities.  I am giving myself some ‘freebie’ activities that are easy to earn the star and some stars require more work.   So what can I do to earn a star?

1.        Track my food every day. (an easy star)

2.       Weigh myself every day .  (another easy star)

3.       Exercise at least 20 minutes, 4 days a week. It doesn’t matter if it’s walking, running, crawling or whatnot….exercise 20 minutes!  (not so easy star……well it’s easy to do….hard to get going to do it!)

4.       Keep my food level in my appropriate predetermined range….for me this is between 1200 calories and 1530 calories.  (why those calories?   1530 is the amount that myfitnesspal says I can eat and still lose 1.5 pounds a week….which is still a respectable figure).  I figure that this needs to be done 6 days a week.  (Ok, it should be 7… and most weeks I can manage that just fine, but I need to account for ‘life’ happening and embrace the fact that there will be failures!)

5.       Stay on the low end of my calorie goal 2 days a week.  This is 1300 calories or under.  Realistically, I would like this to be lower also….but once again….I’m embracing life and saying “I would rather lose slowly but in a healthy sustainable manner”

So what does this mean?  35 stars per week would be an absolutely perfect week.  It would mean that I tracked and kept my food at 1200-1300 each day, I weighted every day AND I exercised each day for 20 minutes.   Absolutely perfect!  But I’m not aiming for perfect.  I am aiming for   living life and making this work for me and allowing myself to have days where I stumble.  SO to have a win?  I am aiming for 26 stars each week!

26 stars each week.  

For the month of February (28 days) I need to accumulate 104 stars

For a month with 30 days, I need 108 stars

For a month with 31 days I need 110 stars.

Easy peasy!  It is a silly mind game….it is a stilly method to keep myself on track.  But guess what…every time I open my day planner, I’ll see those stars and know what I need to do!   It may be silly, but if it works….that’s all that that matters. 

Weight journey and shifting emotions

Finding happiness in this journey is a mixed bag of success and failure!  On any given day I can go from satisfied with my progress to utter despair at where I am. It seems as if my emotions are swinging wildly in every direction!   I’m happy with myself one minute but then shortly thereafter, I’m almost in tears at the state that I have allowed my body to disintegrate into.

Last Saturday I stepped onto the scale for my official weekly weigh in.  I was hoping to see good results for my first week and a half of this new month (and new year).  I waited for the scales to settle and then looked down at the number on the scale. I quickly calculated my numbers and saw that I had managed a 2 pound loss in the first week and a half!   Victory!!!!!  I barely refrained from dancing a jig right there on the scales!   I followed my normal morning routine and stepped into the shower after my weigh in.  And that is where I had an immediate and complete change in my thought process.   Where I had looked at the difference in numbers just a few moments earlier, I was now focused on the actual number.  250.8.  Ouch!  How horrible is that?   I was filled with shame.  I was filled with fury at myself for allowing myself to get back to that point.   I was filled with utter despair at the long path before me!   In a matter of minutes I had gone from complete exhilaration to utter despair.  

My emotions really do run the gamut during a typical week.  It is crazy and I really have no clue how to rectify it.  I can tell myself to ‘just be happy’ with the process.  I can tell myself to settle in and enjoy the ride. And I do tell myself these things.  However, it’s been hard recently.  

I didn’t allow myself to give up after my Saturday weigh in and shift of emotions.  While my calories were higher over the weekend following that weigh in, it was not binge eating or even ‘I give up’ eating.  It was simply weekend eating ...or if you want to call it something else...call it ‘living’.   (As a side note, I still ate well under the calorie level that Myfitnesspal says that I need to eat to maintain!  I was still in a ‘losing’ caloric range.)

However, my weight popped up on Monday.  (Which added to the discontent.). I haven’t let it deter me.  It had made me tighten my belt and dig in harder.  I KNOW that I have the mental fortitude to do this.  I just need my body to cooperate with my efforts!  I didn’t let the negative numbers slow me down.   I allowed the emotions to run through me and I looked at those numbers and said ‘I won’t let you get to me, I WILL just work harder!’   I used thenegative emotions to push me harder.

One thing I thought about today in my shower.  (Why yes...I do have deep thoughts in the shower...and while I am out running!). My thought was that I need to get back to the ‘three pound range’.   Last summer I instituted a three pound rangefew with in my mind.  It basically is a plan that I take the lowest number I’ve seen on the scales and as long as I’m fluctuating within 2-3 pounds, I’m ok...normal fluctuation.   So at my current level...my most recent low weight of 250.8 I would be within ‘fluctuation’ range as long as I remained lower than 253.8.    This is just one more way to take away that stigma of failure...to in fact embrace it!  In embracing the fluctuations I am devaluing the message that the scales give me, which will lessen the impact that those numbers have.

I know that my feelings are swinging wildly in all directions as I embark (reembark) upon this road to health.  And yes, I refuse to say on this path to thinness....because that is not my ultimate goal...my ultimate goal is health!   Being thin is a side affect...a fabulous side affect.   I don’t know why they are swinging wildly, but the only thing I can do is to make sure that when they are negative that I use the negative thoughts to spur me forward!  The other thing is that for some reason I have not been turning toward prayer about this journey.  I pray about numerous other things on a daily basis, but I haven’t been turning to prayer in regards to this journey. I have made that adjustment.   Meanwhile, I push forward!

This journey toward health is an emotional one.   There ARE so many conflicting emotions that run the gamut in terms of how we feel.   They are not going to go away.  They will be there. It’s another thing that we need to embrace. Once we embrace those feelings we can turn them to positive.   We can figure out a way to make them less impactful.  We can also figure out how to turn the negative emotions into motivation  to propel us further toward our goals.  They aren’t a bad thing, these emotions are all part of the healing process as I get healthy!

And just because...here is another picture from our weekend walk in the snow!  

Overweight and Healthy

Healthy? Me? No way!! I weigh 240-some pounds (dropping though)! Take one look at me, I am not the vision of health. However, when a coworker had to come up with one word to describe me, his word was healthy.

The paranoid side of me immediately jumped to the negative. I’m healthy and robust… A healthy eater… Healthy sized… But in all honesty, I am pretty sure this coworker didn’t mean it that way. (This is obviously not the nasty coworker.) His comment really made me think about and evaluate  where I am in this journey.   Guess what, I am pretty healthy. My weight may not show it at the moment, but I’m pretty healthy.

So what makes me healthy? What made this coworker classify me as healthy?  Even at an o see weight?  I came up with a few thoughts.

1. My water consumption.   I always drink a fair amount at work. I drink multiple bottles of water. Most people sit with a soda on their desk. Of course some do sit with a bottle water at their desk but the water level never changes. OK, so that could be a reason why he called me healthy. 

2. My food.  I don’t order out with everyone… I stick to fruits and vegetables. I don’t go down to the cafeteria every morning and get a muffin, waffle or other breakfast foods. If I need something… It’s usually a fruit or vegetable. OK… That’s a very healthy habit that would get me classified as a healthy person. 

3. I am not the only one that  walks on their breaks and lunches. I am however probably one of the only few that do it consistently.  I walk every  day possible.  I am also pretty sure that I am the only one on our team that keeps tennis shoes and socks in my drawer to make my lunchtime walk more pleasurable. Yeah, that’s pretty healthy.

4. When asked what I do on any given weekend… I mention bike riding or hiking if that’s what I did. Most of my teammates mention shopping, movies, watching TV… OK I do those things also, but I usually get at least something active into my weekend.

5. Throwing into the mix is the fact that I don’t call out sick all the time….I never have at this job. I don’t sneeze and cough and hack while at work… I don’t limp around or talk about my aches and pains. So at first glance it does appear that my body  is in pretty decent shape also.

I am not discounting the fact that my weight is very unhealthy. But in the grand scheme of things…there are five healthy things versus one unhealthy trait, and not even a trait...more a a characteristic. I guess we can see which side the scales are tipped on.  Definitely the healthy side wins out. Isn’t that crazy to think about?

I’ve called myself a fit fat person in the past. Even while overweight, I ran a lot of races. I even rode some bike events while overweight. I did Zumba classes…High intensity...multiple classes.  I was overweight but I was pretty active. It’s the truth… You can be fit but still be fat. The fit though should eventually eradicate the fat.

So even though I am overweight… I guess I can call myself healthy. That is a totally new way of thinking for this 200+ pound girl.

And my quick update.  I have ridden my bike EVERY DAY this week!  My muscles (and butt) are getting used to the new bike and bike seat and I can feel a difference in my legs and how I feel...just from 5 days straight of riding.

My weight...

Last week: 242.4

This morning:  241.6

Loss this week: 0.8

Total loss: 78.4lbs

Loss since restart in June:  13 lbs

My weight was up for most of the week.  I wasn’t happy...but I just kept following my plan.  And it’s back down.   The ‘range’ plan is working well for me.  As long as I am within spitting distance from my low weight (3 pounds is what I’m aiming for) I am ok!  

I am concerned about this weekend...we have a three day weekend..a bit of traveling...and a birthday celebration. So my eating may be out of whack!!!   I should be active though!!!   

Birds of a Feather and a fearful finding

I've been thinking a lot about the food that I'm eating.  Am I wrong to approach my lifestyle change by still eating 'anything' I want, just in moderation.  I lost 140 pounds doing just that.  I didn't have pizza everyday.  I did have to manage and limit my bread. I did it all and I honestly did well.  When I wanted to have one of the items I worked it into my schedule.  Last week, I made the brownies in the morning. I KNEW that I would want a piece of brownie that night.  I managed my food all day to allow for my brownie.  This is what worked for me in the past and this is the route I plan to take this go around.   

For me to take food away and put it on the 'extinct' list in my life is just not feasible. I know me.  You say I can't have it and I will move heaven and hell to get it!!!!   I spent some time on my morning walk today talking to my side kick about this.  Her words to me were "it worked for you before and why bother with elimination diets when you don't have health issues that need elimination'.   She is also not doing any elimination diet....not in the strictest sense of the word.  Yes, she's giving up diet soda because of the chemicals.  She's giving up ingredients in food that are un-natural.  She's moving to a natural lifestyle.   So I guess birds of a feather flock together. 

That said, I eat mostly natural and organic foods.  I cook from scratch, so that eliminates much processed foods.  I eat a healthy diet.  I just don't eliminate.  God gave us these foods.  I'm a firm believer that he gave us these NATURAL foods for a reason....and everything, in moderation works together to create a healthy and vibrant lifestyle.

Cravings?   Really?   I honestly don't have cravings.  My binges are usually not based on a craving mentality.  They are usually born from emotions.  Any cravings....I've always said when I'm taking my multivitamins the cravings disappear anyway.  Cravings are our bodies telling us we need something...so if we are getting our proper nutrients...bye bye cravings.  :-)

So as I went through this thought process  I went home and started folding laundry.  Out of my husbands pants pocket fell this packet of Pure Via.  Stevia. You know, we've all seen it.  We've all seen the ads. We've all heard about the product.  I picked it up off the floor where it fell and sat amazed that the package was somewhat intact after going through the washing machine AND dryer!  But as amazing as the package was...there was something that absolutely shocked me to no end!

I opened up the package and poured out the contents.  Holy cow. It poured out onto the surface like I had just poured it from a sugar bowl.  The grains of sugar were pure and unadulterated.  This sugar had been through the clothes washer AND dryer.  What?  It didn't dissolve in water??????   It didn't melt in the heat of the dryer?????     How can this be??????   OH wait....that's right.  While they say it's 'natural' there is something intrinsically wrong with this picture.  VERY wrong.  I think I'll stick with straight up sugar...because, oh wait.....that's natural too...but at least I know that organic sugar melts and dissolves in my gut!






I got out hiking yesterday and I walked with Sherry today.  Ok, so lunch ended up being at Bucca di Beppo.  Yummy Italian.  But my breakfast was really light as was my dinner.  Moderation and management!  

The awesome thing today????   This big boy was just hanging out near our house.  Gorgeous!!!!

We are what we eat

Tonight I was at home and I was making a 'healthy' cake. So many people talk about this cake.  It's the talk of weight watchers meetings.   An Angel food box cake mix and a can of cherry pie filling.  Mix those two ingredients together and then bake according to the instructions on the box.  As simple as that and works like a charm.  Or the famed diet soda cake.  A cake mix and a can of diet soda mixed together.....voila.   Healthy cake.   Ok, I felt bad even typing that.....a healthier version calorie wise at least.......yes, that's better!

100 calorie packs?  Snackwells?  Light versions of this?   High Fiber?  Low sodium?   Low fat?   1/2 the calories?   Healthy foods....right?????????

I am going to preface the rest of this post by saying that I DO buy some of the aforementioned products.   100 calorie packs are great for portion control for those weeks where I just can't do it on my own.  I find that some low fat or light products are just as good as the regular and therefore yes, I will use them.  I'm not immune to the 'healthy food' craze.....and I'm sure that I will still continue to buy them and use them and create them in the future.

Are we really being healthy with all these alternative products?    What are these products really teaching us?   TO have our cake and eat it too?  Are they helping us to avoid the truth about our society and the way we eat?  I think so.   You see, those are not healthy foods.  They are foods that are altered to allow us to eat them with less guilt.  They are foods that are adjusted so that we can still eat them and still lose weight.

However, healthy foods are the fruits....grapes, bananas, kiwi, apples, etc.   Vegetables...peas, green beans, beets, etc.   They are the healthy whole grains and dairy.  They are the natural foods that lack the mad processing.   We are what we eat...I want to be healthy...so I will eat TRULY healthy foods as my main source of food.