Return from Normal

 So vacation is over.  We are back home and it is time to return to some semblance of normalcy.  But what is normal?  We both came home and back to 'normal' grudgingly.  We could have spent a lifetime together exploring our world and spending all day together.  But unfortunately, the reality of life came knocking and the vacation mentality had to come to an end.   

We spent quite a bit of time talking on vacation.  In particular, we talked about where we are in life and where we want to be.  We don't feel as if we get near enough time to pursue the things that we have a passion for.  Such as exploring, bike riding, hiking....etc.   I don't know what changes may be in our future, but we are seriously pondering life as we know it and how to change so that we can enjoy life more.  Whatever change comes our way, it will be hand in hand together!

But how was it REALLY to come home from vacation and get back to the grind?

Post Vacation Chaos

Returning home was a bit of a chaotic mess!  We got home and the weekend went fine. We were busy as bees as we unloaded and unpacked everything.  It took some time to run all of our laundry through the washing machines, but that was not chaotic, just part of life.  The chaos started when we tried to turn on the TV on Sunday morning.   It would not work.  Not one bit!  What?   Luckily we were quickly able to ascertain that it was simply a problem with the cable box and NOT the modem and internet also!  Thank heavens, since I am working from home.  Two LONG phone calls, four days and one technician visit later we were fixed  Yes, by Wednesday night we had cable tv restored to our house!  Now I know.  Cable TV is not a priority.  It's not mandatory or anything like that. But we are serious creatures of habit and it was chaotic to be off of our routine.  We just felt totally discombobulated!

In the midst of all of this I was anxiously awaiting packages to arrive from Amazon.  I had waited until Friday to place an order so that they would be delivered on the day we got home or the day afterward.  That day came.....and went.  The next day came....and went.  It wasn't so much chaotic.  But with the grudging return to work....no cable tv....and just well....it was just annoying!

Work...well I won't go there.  They are making changes to my team.  They are moving people and adjusting and shifting a whole lot.  They are not telling us what is happening, we just see people being transferred off if our team at a pretty steady and fast rate.  SO I'm not exactly sure what my future holds within my work.  So that was stressful.   

It was just a week!

Changes and Plans

While I was on vacation, I began to think about our vacations.  I was creating videos of our experiences that I posted on my youtube channel.  I was good with that, but I was also a bit hesitant to flood my channel with those videos,....it's a weight loss channel after all.  And here I am showing video after video of my vacation.  I know, I shouldn't feel guilty because it's my channel and I can do whatever I want with it.  But still......   So I came up with the hairbrained idea to start a second YouTube channel....all vacations and exploration!   A lot of work?  Yeah, of course it is.  But it should be fun.  I am excited to get better videos created from our vacation.  I had a website that was partially created previously.  So I decided to resurrect that and post vacation stuff there and to use that name for a YouTube channel.  I am so excited to be creating these videos and really look forward to going back into my files and creating videos of previous places that we have  visited.  If for nothing else....these will be amazing memories for us!  

I have already created a video to commemorate hiking the Kaymoor Miners Trail that I was so proud to conquer.   I am so excited because I have plans to do one that highlights the historical significance of this trail.  I am having a blast preparing and plotting these videos!  

Changes to Beliefinmyself.com

What does that mean for this website? Nothing.  Not really.  I have for the last few months been toying with loosening my prearranged Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I sometimes feel as if I am grasping for content with the three days a week.  Sometimes the content just flows and it is all easy, but sometimes......well I'm surprised I haven't totally turned to filling up posts with pictures of my cat. (she is mighty cute though!

Let me know what you think?  I am thinking about at least two times a week,  unless I have more to say and then I will just post whenever the mood strikes!  

So not much happening in my neck of the woods......just random life!

Changes and plans

I am really going to be working on making some changes in my life in the new year.  I am tired of sitting around and planning and plotting and not carrying through....or only doing things with half of the ability that I am capable of.   This goes hand in hand with my word of the year that I talked about in a recent post.  Committed!

You see, I want to be committed to my website and to my youtube channel.  I have gained amazing things from these two social media outlets.  I have gained amazing friends.  I have gained amazing support.  I have gained a never ending supply of advice.  It is an awesome tool for life.   I am not walking away from any of that.  Quite the contrary. I am even more committed than ever to make this a priority in my life and to do it RIGHT!   But to do things properly and stay committed I have to come up with a plan because time is limited and these tasks really do take up time!  Dare I say that keeping up with the creation of content for both of these outlets is the equivalent to having a part time job? So I need to make things work better for me if I’m going to carry on and carry on with commitment.

The first thing that I am going to change with this site is that I am going to be committed to having more of my posts created in advance.  So often I am writing my posts on the fly and publishing them all within almost the same breath!   This has added some extra stress to my life in relation to this site.  Why is it adding stress?  It's adding stress because I have tried to get into a posting schedule of Monday-Wednesday-Friday.     I like the posting schedule I have.  It keeps me accountable!  When I don't stick with a posting schedule I tend to write sporadically and when I write sporadically my weight loss efforts tend to be a bit more sporadic. (It's crazy...but true!)

But you see, I weigh in on Friday morning.  I would then turn around and try to get the weigh in results post written and published all before I left for work.  I leave for work at 6:30 AM.  It was just not working for me!  I was stressed and just struggling to get things done.  All it took is for me to say "Why don't I post the weigh in information on Monday.  That way I have a few days to get the information written out in a clear concise form!     I know...you are saying "well duh"!     So that is one of my HUGE plans.   

I have toyed with trying to post things more routinely...such as having a day dedicated to a certain topic.   I like this concept....but every time I think I’m going to do it I then sit back and say ‘but what about....’ and I realize that it won’t work for me.   I can say that Monday’s will usually be my weigh in blog posts.   I would say always but I have a blogiversary coming up and it falls on a Monday...so I am planning to postpone my weigh in report until Wednesday.   See how being too strict doesn’t work for me?

In relation to my youtube channel....  I have been posting on Sundays and Wednesdays (with random videos here and there.  I will be altering that a bit to be a Sunday....Wednesday....Friday rotation. 

*  The Sunday post is my review of my weight loss week (which will be linked on my monday Blog posts)
*   I have Workout Wednesdays...this will be mostly fitness and workout related.
*   Fridays will be Foodie Friday.  I am planning on posting a video that relates to cooking....either a recipe or a review of a food....or maybe a review of a kitchen gadget!  And some of those recipes may make an appearance on my blog....time will tell!

Also on my YouTube channel there will be random videos and posts here and there.  Whatever and whenever strikes my fancy!  A day or eating.....a review of a product.....any collabs or tags that I am asked to participate in.....anything and everything.....just random bonus videos!  I will be linking those videos to my blog as often as possible.

The videos are also done in advance....usually I finish the videos for the week ahead of me and have them uploaded and scheduled quite early.  I usually spend those lazy weekend mornings where we are just lounging a bit before we head out for our weekend activities  on editing videos.  This is working for me.   This allows me the time during the week to film the clips that I need and to write my  scripts.....basically just do whatever needs to be done.

I also have been toying with a second blog.  It is a bit of travel and a bit of reviews.  I am still toying with it to find my niche....but I will be trying to post there on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  This one is still in the works and is still being developed so I am not quite ready to make bold statements about definitely posting and what I'm posting!  Or even if it is going to stick around.  Another two posts a week is a huge commitment!  (But that is my word of the year so maybe that's my answer!    Regardless....we shall see.  I am still getting my feet wet with the reviews and the travel reports....time will tell if I like it!

I have a few ideas in the works for some other projects and i am also committed to seeing how the take shape.  And of course I will take you along for the ride when I actually get to a stage that I can share! 

So there you have it.  I am committed and plan to continue my quest in each of these outlets.  They bring me joy, happiness and support.   I am also on the lookout for ways to expand and learn more....so stay tuned.  This next year is my year for commitment and I am going to rock it out!

Changes: going with the flow as life throws new opportunities at me

Over the years I have altered and changed my approach to this blog/site.  I started writing and chronicling my weight loss journey for myself. It was just an online journal that I was keeping for myself.   I knew people could see it but I never expected it!  Wow how things have changed!

I have always journaled my life and have always been private about it.  But decided to try this online journal thing so many years ago  simply because I would have access to my journal at work, at home, on vacation...anywhere I had internet!  That sounded easier than dragging around a weight loss journal....another notebook.  (I still do write in a personal journal...old fashioned pen and paper...it is cathartic for me!).   It worked perfectly and I was happy as a lark.  I was writing for myself only and as a means to remember and learn as I embarked upon the task of losing over 100 pounds.

Sure I knew that people could stumble upon it and read it....but what were the odds.  And never my family...I was sure!    Well...imagine my surprise when low and behold people started commenting.   And by the time my family stumbles upon it...well I was fine with sharing!   Come one...come all!

I kept writing.  I still wrote for myself, but the comments helped.  It was a bit of accountability. But while I still wrote for myself (and still do) this site  has evolved over the years.  There was a major name change.  It went from ‘a new start’ to ‘belief in myself’. I have gone through periods where I barely post to periods where I post every day to now-a-day’s where I post regularly and on a schedule.  (Seriously, the schedule helps me stay super accountable for everything!) Lots of alterations in my handling of this site and in my health, fitness and healthy lifestyle beliefs have occured over the last 13.5 years since I started writing my thoughts here.

I am going through another change.  It’s a biggie!   I will still be posting on here and writing everything out....because that is my ‘safe place’...writing is my way to process my struggles and victories.  Probably the only thing that will change here is that I will be posting my weigh in results on Monday’s ....and talking about my weekends on Wednesday’s.  No big changes.  The big change is that I plan on starting to share a weekly vlog about my progress.  Yes, I am nervous about this...pictures are bad enough...but video?  Yikes!  The vlog will be my baby....I have been part of the weight loss journey community for so long that I needed to do this.  But I will have two babies.  The other baby?  We plan on doing short videos of this mountain biking experience....sharing the ups and downs (oh dear heavens let there be no more meltdowns on the trial of tears once the cameras are rolling....or even worse...don’t let me rip my pants so badly again...also on the trial of tears...because I know I will show it ......cuz seriously, I wrote about it ...but how embarrassing!!!).    We are doing it for a few reasons.  Mainly because we want a video that shows our progression as I learn to mountain bike in my upper 40’s....and as an overweight woman...in a male dominated sport.  Seeing the progression is huge ..because honestly I say I can see progression sometimes but it is so hard to recognize it...most days while riding  I feel as if I am still doing as poorly as I did the first time we went out. But we are also doing this because we want people to see....if you want something, follow your dreams...no excuses.  Will this be a long term thing?  Maybe...maybe not.  We may hate the time and effort it takes and we may end up with tons of clips stored in a folder for our own viewing pleasure and you may only see one or two crazy videos but who knows.  Let’s try!

So I will still be writing everything here....but stay tuned for some videos also.  (Weight loss vlog first, most likely....trail stories shortly thereafter).   Be patient as I learn and adjust and by all means, enjoy this ride of a lifetime with me! 

Changes

I knew what works. Right now for me I know what works. So why in the world do I not do it?

What am I talking about? Tracking! In the last couple weeks I have set up a different plan for myself. When I work the plan The plan works for me. But when I deviate, the plan doesn’t work.

Tracking for me is quite instrumental to my success. I tracked last week and I lost 2.2 pounds. But then I stopped tracking… And I stopped losing.

I know tracking isn’t everything, it’s my eating habits. But tracking is what helps keep me in line and in check. Quite honestly, I have no clue what my calorie intake was for this work week… At all! 

So why do I not track? First and foremost, I think I forget about it… It’s not an ingrained habit yet. Secondly, I think to some regard I show some success and I start to feel confident. I think hey I don’t need to track I did really good last week! Regardless of the reason, I know for me it’s important to do!

So how do I remind myself to do this? Should I set myself an alarm on my phone? Leave notes for myself beside my bed? Find an accountability partner? I’m not sure… I’m not sure which one would 

work for me but I know I have to be serious about this. 

Two things happened recently that it made me really start to think about what I’m doing here. 

1.  Lately we have been watching a lot of YouTube videos on mountain biking. These are guys that were and are ordinary people. They are not experts but they have reached an incredible amount of people to help promote mountain biking simply through their love of the sport. Even though I’m struggling right now, I’m passionate about my journey and experiences as I’ve worked to become healthier.  So should I be doing something more with that passion? I know when I had lost the weight the first time I really felt drawn to try to help others… But then life went belly up and I regained and while I still had the passion I just let it sit idle.

2. With the nice warm weather returning, I started walking again at work on my lunch and my two breaks. I did walk last year but I was a new hire and didn’t really know anyone.. This year people recognize me and I’ve had a few  comments made to me in the last week or two. I have been asked numerous times how long it takes to get around the lake. People want to know if it’s doable on a 30 minute lunch break. Why yes it is doable! I got to work early one day last year and timed it out to make sure. I have also had a handful of people tell me that I was their inspiration and they walked on their lunch break or their 15 minute break simply because they saw me walking. Me? And inspiration? No that can’t be true… But it was.

So with all that happening, it comes as no surprise that I have been mulling over my little corner of the Internet. The ideas are flowing. I’m excited about some of the things that I want to add and do. Are they groundbreaking? No probably not… Would it be my unique take on the subject matter? Absolutely!  Some aspects of this possible change scare me to death… Do I move my blog? That is the biggest issue I have.  I honestly I have no problem creating a website of some sort, it’s daunting but I can manage (using a website builder tool)… I’m just worried about my blog.  I know that I would like my blog to carry with me with to whatever I do, (versus have my blog on blogger and a separate website).  I think this is important because the longevity of my blog lends me a bit of credence to my personal experience.   Did I mention that moving the blog end my close to 2000 (1987 including this post). posts scares me? Honestly, it’s something I should have done many many years ago… But I was scared then also!    So here I am taking a deep breath and doing my research, even as my hands shake at the prospect!

Wednesday weigh in day

Yes, today is my official weigh in day!  It was actually a pleasant weigh in day!  I am down 2.2 pounds.   It puts me firmly back where I was  a week or two ago before my weight popped!!!  (WHEW!)  I was nervous to step on the scales though!  Last night I started eating and just ate WAAAAAY too much food.....I lucked out, and I know it. 

Yesterday I didn't get my extra walk in.....the weather was stormy!  So that was a booo!   But luckily I had gotten my run in early in the day when it was just hot and muggy!   

This is the outside at about 1PM

A few months ago when i was with my Friend in South Carolina for the Cooper River Bridge Run, I had an epiphany and then when I shared that with my friend, she and I set some goals for ourselves.  

My goals were as follows....

My Goals

1.  Beat personal record for 10K which is 1:19  (all running...no walk breaks   this is )  This pace is very close to my PR for a 5K....so it would be nice to go below that pace!   (The PR pace is 12:23 for the 5k and 12:45 for the 10K)
2.  Weight at or  below 180 pounds (51.6 pounds)
3.  Exercise consistently 3x's a week
4.  Track food each day
5.  Stay accountable all year long...checking in on Wednesdays
6.  get totally off diet sodas (again)
7.  take a picture of progress every 10 pounds
8.  large reward will be something fun (extra day, neat site seeing venture, something) at Charleston next year when we smash the 2017 Cooper River Bridge Run

I have consistently managed all of these things through different apps and programs.  But I decided to keep track of everything in one spot......so I went old fashioned.  

I still use the different programs that work for me (Mapmyfitness, myfitnesspal, etc).   But I am compiling everything into one notebook and it's working for me!   

The numbers beside the days of the week are the calorie count, the first number being the amount of calories I ate and the second number being the net calories once my exercise calories are added in.

This is working for me right now.......Next week it may be something different!   That is one thing I have learned on this journey......we are all different and what works for one person will not work for another person.  Furthermore, what works for me today may not work for me next week because of the natural fluctuations in life!   This journey requires us to roll with the punches!   I'm rolling and I'm going to ponder some more of that major epiphany that I had on that trip!   I lost track of that epiphany.......I may have to spend some time today really revisiting those thoughts and some of my reasons for this journey! (No, not at all even thinking about giving up.....just gathering my motivation up around me!)