I've been tagged by Debbie : Here ya' go.
The rules:1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names, linking to them.
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.
I"m not going to tag anyone, but if you are reading this and want to participate, your more then welcome!
Five Things About Me:
1. I have four cats. Lucy, Ethel, Desi and Jody (Jody was already named when I got her, I refer to her as Jod-i-fred to keep the I Love Lucy theme)
2. I tend to jump from job to job. I get bored with what I'm doing and that means it's time to change 'careers'. (Right now I'm a bank teller.....far cry from my college degree in elementary education.)
3. I'm a city girl that is slowly becoming accustomed to the life as a country girl. Amazingly, I"m finding that I love certain aspects.
4. I'm really really really afraid of mice and bats. (and other creepy crawlies)
5. I love to cook and try new recipes!
Well, there you have it.
I'm really really struggling tonight. I just can't seem to get enough food into my body! What's up with this. I want to keep eating. I know that there is no way that I can truely be hungry, yet I want to continue eating. I've eaten pretzels and some almonds! OH yeah and a piece of chocolate......just a little piece. It makes no sense. I just got good news that puts me REALLY close to making goal with weight watchers. YOu'd think that that would totally cause me to jump up and down with excitement and buckle down to get there! It's having the opposite affect. I just want to eat more! This is NOT good!!!!! I'm refusing to eat any more tonight!!!!! I'm just not going to do it!!!
So what's up with this? Is there any rhyme or reason to this? Am I afraid of reaching that magical goal? WHAT WHAT WHAT???
Todd had the bikes our and ready when I got home. I walked in the door and he was like, "lets go." I asked him how he felt......he said he was still feeling pretty bad but he wanted to go. SO go we did. WELL, after we were out on the bikes, he admitted that he didn't eat lunch....because he was afraid it would make him sick and he then wouldn't be able to ride. So not only was he feeling sick to his stomach...but he was weak from not eating! OK, I love my husband but wherein the world was his mind?????? He made it about 2.5 miles before we had to turn around. SO I got in about 5 miles. I came home and set about to ride the exercise bike to make up the difference. Well, as I've mentioned, I utilize the laptop to watch videos on Youtube while I ride. FOr some reason the interenet was really sluggish....or youtube was sluggish...somthing was sluggish. I couldn't watch my video. Well, that just blew my mind and I ended up going about 2 miles more before quiting. It is neat to see how motivated I am to watch that show...motivated to ride like a demon while I'm watching.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Exercise and onion rings?
Well, I woke up early to exercise. But my husband got up at the same time. That normally doesn't stop me from exercising. What stopped me was his idea. I get off at 3PM today. He will be home at around 2PM. He was like, "lets go for a bike ride together this afternoon". I jumped at it! I would MUCh rather be outside being active. No contest there. However, after I had putzed around and pretty much wasted that alloted time, he starts talking about how miserable he feels and how sick he is. Wait a cotton pickin' minute. How are you going to go on a ride with me if you are sick? This happens often. I'll forgo exercise in the morning (when I KNOW it will get done) to wait to exercise with him. (which I do enjoy when it happens). And then when the time comes to exercise together something comes up and we dont' do it. At that point, the newly freed time then gets sucked up leaving me with no exercise. This is not cool! So I flat out told him...."if you dont' go, I've still got to exercise...so don't plan anything else for that time". It's not that I don't want to be with him.....but I have to take care of me!
Got my water all ready this morning. (Took my vitamins also) and what did I do? I walked out the door without it! I'm like totally lost without my water jug! Yeah, I'll be able to continue using it when I get home. HOWEVER, here at work, I'm forced to use the styrofoam cups that we have beside the water cooler. At least we have them....BUT, I like my water jug?
Ok, I'm done whining about the water now! I'll move on to my weight. Well, wait, I didn't step on the scales this morning, so nothing to say about that.
And a recipe for those of you out there that loves to try new things......Baked Onion Rings.
One big sweet vidalia onion
flour
egg white (or egg substitute)
seasoned bread crumbs
Spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray and preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Place the flour, egg whites and bread crumbs in three separate bowls. Peel and slice the onion, separating the slices into individual rings. Dip each ring first in the flour, then the egg mixture and finally the bread crumbs. Making sure to coat it thoroughly. Place breaded ring flat on the baking sheet. Repeat with each ring. Bake 20 minutes or until onion rings are crispy and cooked through.
I usually do one onion for my husband and I. It gives us plenty with some left over. The amounts of flour, egg white and bread crumbs varies with the size of the onion. I usually just start with what I think looks good...and add to as I need. :-)
Got my water all ready this morning. (Took my vitamins also) and what did I do? I walked out the door without it! I'm like totally lost without my water jug! Yeah, I'll be able to continue using it when I get home. HOWEVER, here at work, I'm forced to use the styrofoam cups that we have beside the water cooler. At least we have them....BUT, I like my water jug?
Ok, I'm done whining about the water now! I'll move on to my weight. Well, wait, I didn't step on the scales this morning, so nothing to say about that.
And a recipe for those of you out there that loves to try new things......Baked Onion Rings.
One big sweet vidalia onion
flour
egg white (or egg substitute)
seasoned bread crumbs
Spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray and preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Place the flour, egg whites and bread crumbs in three separate bowls. Peel and slice the onion, separating the slices into individual rings. Dip each ring first in the flour, then the egg mixture and finally the bread crumbs. Making sure to coat it thoroughly. Place breaded ring flat on the baking sheet. Repeat with each ring. Bake 20 minutes or until onion rings are crispy and cooked through.
I usually do one onion for my husband and I. It gives us plenty with some left over. The amounts of flour, egg white and bread crumbs varies with the size of the onion. I usually just start with what I think looks good...and add to as I need. :-)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
A gain
No surprise there! I showed an 'official' gain of 7.4 pounds. THat puts me BACK at 187.2 pounds. 7.2 pounds away from my new weight watchers goal. THEN I can focus on going lower and meeting some of my own personal goals).
I have been doing really good with my healthy habit challenge of remembering my multi-vitamin. I was a bit worried because I"ve been trying to take it as soon as I wake up in the morning....however today I waited until I came home from having my bloodwork done. BUT, I remembered! :-)
I've been busy today. I woke up at around 5:30. I started cleaning the house. At maybe 7 or so I was almost done so I sat down and answered a few emails and such. At 8 I headed off to get my bloodwork done. BY nine I was back home. I changed my clothes and headed outside. Or technically out to the screened in porch. I painted until about 1 or 2 (stopping for lunch of course). I then took the garbage from inside OUT. Pulled the garbage from the cans, put new bags in the cans, gathered some construction garbage and bagged it up...and drug the bags to the roadside. I came back in from that and Todd looked at me and was like, "Your a machine". hopped on the exercise bike and logged some mileage/time on there before finally heading to the shower. :-) Todd and I then relaxed and played a little xbox together. LIke I said..busy day. Pretty soon I have to start breading onions for some baked onion rings. Mom and dad are coming to dinner tonight. I'm having grilled chicken (it's been marinating since last night), baked onion rings, and corn. MOm is bringing a salad and some fruit. A nice healthy meal.
Last night I was a bit bothered. I was chit chatting with the receptionist at my meeting and she was fine. AND then I gave her my doctors note. OH my word....she turned cool and snippy. What the heck? THey dont' get paid on commision do they? LOL Oh well..I don't really care.
I have been doing really good with my healthy habit challenge of remembering my multi-vitamin. I was a bit worried because I"ve been trying to take it as soon as I wake up in the morning....however today I waited until I came home from having my bloodwork done. BUT, I remembered! :-)
I've been busy today. I woke up at around 5:30. I started cleaning the house. At maybe 7 or so I was almost done so I sat down and answered a few emails and such. At 8 I headed off to get my bloodwork done. BY nine I was back home. I changed my clothes and headed outside. Or technically out to the screened in porch. I painted until about 1 or 2 (stopping for lunch of course). I then took the garbage from inside OUT. Pulled the garbage from the cans, put new bags in the cans, gathered some construction garbage and bagged it up...and drug the bags to the roadside. I came back in from that and Todd looked at me and was like, "Your a machine". hopped on the exercise bike and logged some mileage/time on there before finally heading to the shower. :-) Todd and I then relaxed and played a little xbox together. LIke I said..busy day. Pretty soon I have to start breading onions for some baked onion rings. Mom and dad are coming to dinner tonight. I'm having grilled chicken (it's been marinating since last night), baked onion rings, and corn. MOm is bringing a salad and some fruit. A nice healthy meal.
Last night I was a bit bothered. I was chit chatting with the receptionist at my meeting and she was fine. AND then I gave her my doctors note. OH my word....she turned cool and snippy. What the heck? THey dont' get paid on commision do they? LOL Oh well..I don't really care.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
A new goal to work towards!
Ok...here is where I'm at. After my mamothly busy day yesterday I was anxious to step on the scales. I ate healthy...I worked hard. Things were gonna be ok. Maybe not as low as i wanted them to be...but ok. I saw the number on the scale and totally started to cry! WHAT THE HECK? 190.6 pounds! WHY WHY WHY! This is so totally outrageous. Ironically enough, last night my husband and I had been talking and making lists of things that we would like to get done soon. On the immediate attention list was "make a doctors appointment for MF". During this 'stuck in the 180's thing (Since last September) I've had numerous people advise me to go see the doctor. I've been told that it is possible when you lose a lot of weight to through your body systems out of whack. So this morning at 8AM i called the doctor. They gave me an appointment for TODAY. I went at 10:45 this morning. Well, I learned a few things today.
Number one: after visiting the doctor the ick arrived. A week early, uninvited..but oh well. So that will account for a few of those ten pounds that's I've gained in the last 2 weeks...ok maybe 2 of them.
Number two: I am having the bloodwork done. I'll be going tomorrow mornign first thing as this is a fasting type of bloodwork. So I won't have the results from that for a few. I'm having my cholesterol checked, my thyroid checked, something called a metabolic panel..and one other test that escapes my memory. I'll go tomorrow to have the blood work taken.
Number 3: When I told the doctor that I was frustrated about working to reach a goal..and not moving, The doctor asked me what my goal was. I looked at him and was like, "I have no clue" I've never been this weight as an adult...so I'm just working toward the recommended goal for weight watchers (which is based off of the BMI) I told him "I was wondering what you recommend as I have never been on the thin side as an adult" He did some kind of calculations on the paper and looked at me and said, "As a 35 year old female, being 5'8" tall you should weigh..." Are you ready? Betweeen 160 and 180! I looked at him in shock. Because as I've mentioned on mroe than one occaision, 160 is pretty much the high end for my height...NOT the low end. I told him that. His words were,"and not to be rude, but you are not 20 years old anymore" He did say that it woudln't be impossible for me to get under that mark...but realistically I should be aiming for between 160 and 180. HOLY crapola! I told him what weight watchers was having me shoot for. He shook his head in amazement. YES...he wrote me a note to give to weight watchers so that i can to adjust my goals to match my doctors recommendation.
I will still have to get myself past that 180 barrier. But hopefully just knowing I'm right there....next to the 'goal' will ease the tension and maybe I'll pop through that barrier. And yes, between you and me, I still think it woudl be a total lark to make it to 150. :-)
The doctor, who is a big guy himself (and whom I actually haven't seen for a while, since I don't go to the doctor all that often, and the last two times I've had to see someone else in the office) just sat there in amazement...kept asking me all sorts of questions about how I did it. Actually told me that I dont' have much of a saggy skin problem. I laughed and told him that I 'hid' it well! LOL
Todd had gone with me....and the doctor noticed Todd's weight loss also.
On the way home Todd looked at me and was like, "I will do whatever needs to be done to help you get there". He went on to say that he would be doing it because it would benefit me...but it would also really be benefiting him...to help kick start him to lose more. So hopefully things will start to work. :-)
Number one: after visiting the doctor the ick arrived. A week early, uninvited..but oh well. So that will account for a few of those ten pounds that's I've gained in the last 2 weeks...ok maybe 2 of them.
Number two: I am having the bloodwork done. I'll be going tomorrow mornign first thing as this is a fasting type of bloodwork. So I won't have the results from that for a few. I'm having my cholesterol checked, my thyroid checked, something called a metabolic panel..and one other test that escapes my memory. I'll go tomorrow to have the blood work taken.
Number 3: When I told the doctor that I was frustrated about working to reach a goal..and not moving, The doctor asked me what my goal was. I looked at him and was like, "I have no clue" I've never been this weight as an adult...so I'm just working toward the recommended goal for weight watchers (which is based off of the BMI) I told him "I was wondering what you recommend as I have never been on the thin side as an adult" He did some kind of calculations on the paper and looked at me and said, "As a 35 year old female, being 5'8" tall you should weigh..." Are you ready? Betweeen 160 and 180! I looked at him in shock. Because as I've mentioned on mroe than one occaision, 160 is pretty much the high end for my height...NOT the low end. I told him that. His words were,"and not to be rude, but you are not 20 years old anymore" He did say that it woudln't be impossible for me to get under that mark...but realistically I should be aiming for between 160 and 180. HOLY crapola! I told him what weight watchers was having me shoot for. He shook his head in amazement. YES...he wrote me a note to give to weight watchers so that i can to adjust my goals to match my doctors recommendation.
I will still have to get myself past that 180 barrier. But hopefully just knowing I'm right there....next to the 'goal' will ease the tension and maybe I'll pop through that barrier. And yes, between you and me, I still think it woudl be a total lark to make it to 150. :-)
The doctor, who is a big guy himself (and whom I actually haven't seen for a while, since I don't go to the doctor all that often, and the last two times I've had to see someone else in the office) just sat there in amazement...kept asking me all sorts of questions about how I did it. Actually told me that I dont' have much of a saggy skin problem. I laughed and told him that I 'hid' it well! LOL
Todd had gone with me....and the doctor noticed Todd's weight loss also.
On the way home Todd looked at me and was like, "I will do whatever needs to be done to help you get there". He went on to say that he would be doing it because it would benefit me...but it would also really be benefiting him...to help kick start him to lose more. So hopefully things will start to work. :-)
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tired and burnt!!!!!!
Well....I started mowing at 8:30 with the stupid push mower. 6 hours of mowing later and I was done. 6 freakin' hours of plodding along, pushign a mower. IN the swealtering sun! And if that wasn't enough, I capped it off with a few hours of painting.
Uhhh needless to say, I didn't get my bike ride in today.
What did I get in today? I got in my vitamins! WOO HOOOO!
Something else I got today....a sunburn! My face is quite pink.....and my shoulders are really red! In fact, I'm wearing a sweatshirt (yeah, I"m always cold....) and the weight of the sweatshirt against my burnt skin is hurting me! Eii yii yiii. NOT good. I so need to watch the sun!
After the painting, I came in and made dinner. I had prepared some stuff in order to make a sorbet to go with dinner. OH my word, was that stuff GOOD. I've gotta look up the points....it can't be all that bad. IT's mostly fruit...with a little sugar, lemon juice and water. Put into the ice cream maker. YUMMY! I made a raspberry sorbet. Tasty tasty tasty!
Meanwhile, I'm utterly wiped out!
Uhhh needless to say, I didn't get my bike ride in today.
What did I get in today? I got in my vitamins! WOO HOOOO!
Something else I got today....a sunburn! My face is quite pink.....and my shoulders are really red! In fact, I'm wearing a sweatshirt (yeah, I"m always cold....) and the weight of the sweatshirt against my burnt skin is hurting me! Eii yii yiii. NOT good. I so need to watch the sun!
After the painting, I came in and made dinner. I had prepared some stuff in order to make a sorbet to go with dinner. OH my word, was that stuff GOOD. I've gotta look up the points....it can't be all that bad. IT's mostly fruit...with a little sugar, lemon juice and water. Put into the ice cream maker. YUMMY! I made a raspberry sorbet. Tasty tasty tasty!
Meanwhile, I'm utterly wiped out!
Emotions raging
I've got some serious emotional eating stuff going on! I know it....and I just seem powerless to stop it. Let me back up. A few weeks ago I faced up to some of my eating problems. It was liberating and felt good. However, by facing up to the problem and taking my 'crutch' or excuse away....it has now thrown me into a tailspin. Because now I have to face the situation head on and deal with it in stead of saying, "Oh, it'sbecause I'm fat." The excuse is gone, and I still totally understand taht I'm not at all at fault. HOWEVER, the situation is still looming in my life and I need to figure out how I'm goign to deal with it. I've been really down about it lately. And of course it didn't help my emotional state to see my weight rise for no reason.
Saturday was a crazy day. I was up early, my eating patterns were all screwed up. I was on the go from sunup to sun down and then some. Just crazy. And my eating got a little whacked out from all that....and maybe a bit of emotions. Then yesterday I was determined to be sooo strong. I did good through breakfast, and lunch and even dinner. But after dinner I went to the sofa to lay down. (I waas utterly exhausted yesterday. I went to my mom's in the afternoonand I could barely put a string of words together to make a coherent sentence.....it was bad enough that she called to make sure I was ok later that evening). Well, I laid on that sofa and the emotions kicked in......and before I knew it I had started eating! Dang stupid move I know! If it's any 'consolation', I'm paying for it this morning with a stomach ache.
Todd has to work a few days. He booked it, not even paying attention to the fact that it was to be memorial day. It's not a big deal to me. I am goign to get out there with the push mower and mow away. I did it all last year as the old riding mower was/is out of commission and we just never got around to getting a new riding mower until this spring when we actually moved over here. It will be four hours of pushign that beaast around the yard. (did I mention that my mower is old.....dad gave it to me....he hated it because it is like really heavy. I love it....it was FREE....music to my ears). Todd gets off around 2. The plan is to go for a bike ride together somewhere on the canal this afternoon. I can't wait! It should be fun. I'm just hoping that my stomach clears up so i can do all this. (If I have any extra time....I'll work on the painting on the screened in porch)
On to a good note. I have remembered my healthy habit for the challenge every day thus far. I almost didn't get it on one day....but thank you for the reminder!!!!!!
Saturday was a crazy day. I was up early, my eating patterns were all screwed up. I was on the go from sunup to sun down and then some. Just crazy. And my eating got a little whacked out from all that....and maybe a bit of emotions. Then yesterday I was determined to be sooo strong. I did good through breakfast, and lunch and even dinner. But after dinner I went to the sofa to lay down. (I waas utterly exhausted yesterday. I went to my mom's in the afternoonand I could barely put a string of words together to make a coherent sentence.....it was bad enough that she called to make sure I was ok later that evening). Well, I laid on that sofa and the emotions kicked in......and before I knew it I had started eating! Dang stupid move I know! If it's any 'consolation', I'm paying for it this morning with a stomach ache.
Todd has to work a few days. He booked it, not even paying attention to the fact that it was to be memorial day. It's not a big deal to me. I am goign to get out there with the push mower and mow away. I did it all last year as the old riding mower was/is out of commission and we just never got around to getting a new riding mower until this spring when we actually moved over here. It will be four hours of pushign that beaast around the yard. (did I mention that my mower is old.....dad gave it to me....he hated it because it is like really heavy. I love it....it was FREE....music to my ears). Todd gets off around 2. The plan is to go for a bike ride together somewhere on the canal this afternoon. I can't wait! It should be fun. I'm just hoping that my stomach clears up so i can do all this. (If I have any extra time....I'll work on the painting on the screened in porch)
On to a good note. I have remembered my healthy habit for the challenge every day thus far. I almost didn't get it on one day....but thank you for the reminder!!!!!!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I fell apart!
Yes, I totally fell apart last night. I had made my plans for dinner and everything was carefully calculated. Well, it was all fine and good until I SMELLED the sausage I was cooking for my husband. It smelled so dang good, which initself is pretty amazing becuase I'm not a big fan of sausage. So I planned to have a bit. Well that's not all that bad becuase heck, I had enough points. BUT the extra two pieces of toast (they were weight watcher bread...so not as bad as it COULD have been) and then the extra half piece of Todd's toast......full fat version. ARRGGh. And I chased it all down with a weight watchers 1 point chocolate mousse ice cream bar thingy. Way too much. Then this morning, Todd and i were up and ready to go like an hour early. What did I do? Why I offered to make chipped beef gravy for breakfast! And the offer was accepted. I feel so bloated and yucky right now! I will say in defense of myself. I won't be eating much of a lunch. I work until noon...and we are then going to be picked up at sometime between noon and 12:15 to go get in the line up for the parade. I'll be in the parade until probably about 2:30 or so. The earliest I'll get home will be 3. Therefore a big breakfast was actually probably a good thing. I did pack a bag of cherries to nibble on at some point through my day. Todd and I usually do the parade thing and it's kinda a tradition for us to then go to the carnival the next town/burg over that same evening. It's my plan to eat before we go over there....so that I am not tempted with the yummy foods at a carnival. :-) I WILL pull it together again. ANd I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT!
Ok....healthy habit challenge. Forgot to take my multi-vitamins this morning. I will do that when I get home. Gotta remember...gotta remember...gotta remember. Vitamin, vitamin, vitamin, vitamin vitamin, vitamin. They say if you repeat something over and over, it will stick.......vitamin, vitamin, vitamin. Heck, I don't think that's working. I give up. I'll just have to hope to remember it at home! :-)
I woke up at 5:15 this morning. I laid in bed for a few...and realized taht i was awake...wide awake. I SHOULD have gotten out of bed and exercised. The thought to actualy do it did cross my mind. HOWEVER, I laid in bed and read through an old journal of mine. Not exactly conducive to my health.
WEll......maybe more conducive then I had previously mentioned. I kow that I'm struggling with some emotional eating things. I've bene a bit down lately...and I just want to eat away the issues. I intrinsically know that eating is not the solution....but it's so much easier to fall into that old comforting routine. The reason I'm going back and rereading the journals......trying to get a handle on some of these emotions and feelings that are causing me to feel down...which causes me to eat...which causes me to feel more down. It's a vicious cycle.
I'm also wondering if the stress of these emotions are not negatively affecting my weight loss efforts. They say that cortisol is a hormone that is stress related...which negatively affects a persons metabolism and all that! Just a thought.
Oh interesting. The bag pipe group that is in the parade every year is setting up right outside my window. They said that last year that they actually practised in our parking lot.....under our drive through canopy. How interesting. I'll have 'tunes' to work by! :-)
Ok....healthy habit challenge. Forgot to take my multi-vitamins this morning. I will do that when I get home. Gotta remember...gotta remember...gotta remember. Vitamin, vitamin, vitamin, vitamin vitamin, vitamin. They say if you repeat something over and over, it will stick.......vitamin, vitamin, vitamin. Heck, I don't think that's working. I give up. I'll just have to hope to remember it at home! :-)
I woke up at 5:15 this morning. I laid in bed for a few...and realized taht i was awake...wide awake. I SHOULD have gotten out of bed and exercised. The thought to actualy do it did cross my mind. HOWEVER, I laid in bed and read through an old journal of mine. Not exactly conducive to my health.
WEll......maybe more conducive then I had previously mentioned. I kow that I'm struggling with some emotional eating things. I've bene a bit down lately...and I just want to eat away the issues. I intrinsically know that eating is not the solution....but it's so much easier to fall into that old comforting routine. The reason I'm going back and rereading the journals......trying to get a handle on some of these emotions and feelings that are causing me to feel down...which causes me to eat...which causes me to feel more down. It's a vicious cycle.
I'm also wondering if the stress of these emotions are not negatively affecting my weight loss efforts. They say that cortisol is a hormone that is stress related...which negatively affects a persons metabolism and all that! Just a thought.
Oh interesting. The bag pipe group that is in the parade every year is setting up right outside my window. They said that last year that they actually practised in our parking lot.....under our drive through canopy. How interesting. I'll have 'tunes' to work by! :-)
Friday, May 23, 2008
Crazy day!
I managed to avoid the scales again today. I didn't avoid the bathroom like I did yesterday. I will admit, I was sorely tempted though. BUT talked myself out of it. :-)
I woke up early this morning, and rode my bike this morning. Knocked 9.71 miles out. Felt good! Then here at work, I took a half hour break and walked about a mile and a half all around town. So I feel pretty good about that.
Lunch. Well, yes, they ordered it for us as a treat. And yes, I actually did order 'regular' food. I got a turkey and cheese pannini. It was scrumptious! I'll admit it. I used to always order sandwhiches when we went out to eat. I so rarely do anymore. A sandwhich out uses ups sooo many points....breaks the bank so to speak. So it was an absolute treat. I didn't eat the chips that came with it. OK, I'll admit, I did have a taste. But you know what....they weren't all that great....so I wasn't even tempted. I had brought along grapes and cherries today, so I had my cherries with my sandwich. I'll have my grapes as a snack sometime mid-afternoon. I've already planned out my evening food....and I've got it all under control!
Tomorrow is the day of our local parade. My branch (job) is riding in the parade. Should be interesting....lol The guy that is driving us down the parade route is plannign on having a cooler with water for us to drink. So what does dumb me say? "oh my...maybe I should bake something so that we have something to nibble on also!" What in the world? Am I insane???? Because not only do I not NEED something to nibble on while we ride in the parade.....I do NOT need to have the tempation of the baking in my house! Oh well....I may bake something and just chew my gum the whole time so that the unconcious action of putting food into my mouth will not derail me!
It's been a crazy day of highs and lows for me. Things were good when I got off the bike. They took a huge nose dive during a serious conversation with Todd. I got myself under control at work. And then things went belly up crazy. I had two customers at the drive through BEFORE we even opened....not to mention the rush I had right after we opened. We had 3 classes of first graders come in for a tour. They came in and have been working on removing some old lock boxes out of our vault (takes a while to do apparently as they have been doing here now for at least three hours.). Oh yes, and our downstairs bathroom here at work has been acting funny. The plumber has been here since about 9AM...it's 1:39 right now. He's been snaking it, they have had the sanitation department here snakign it past the pump into the city sewer lines. It's absolutely nutty. We are having to go next door to ask to use the restroom. Crazy. Everyone here is in a decent mood...so we've been laughing and carrying on about the 'poop' issues that we are having. I didn't know they could snake the lines for so long!!! I'm ready for some peace and quiet! My time at work is "MaryFran's" personal time. LOL It's my time to write my blog, read a book and all this stuff (between customers of course). This noise is infringing upon my peace. LOL My...what a rough job I have...tee hee hee
I woke up early this morning, and rode my bike this morning. Knocked 9.71 miles out. Felt good! Then here at work, I took a half hour break and walked about a mile and a half all around town. So I feel pretty good about that.
Lunch. Well, yes, they ordered it for us as a treat. And yes, I actually did order 'regular' food. I got a turkey and cheese pannini. It was scrumptious! I'll admit it. I used to always order sandwhiches when we went out to eat. I so rarely do anymore. A sandwhich out uses ups sooo many points....breaks the bank so to speak. So it was an absolute treat. I didn't eat the chips that came with it. OK, I'll admit, I did have a taste. But you know what....they weren't all that great....so I wasn't even tempted. I had brought along grapes and cherries today, so I had my cherries with my sandwich. I'll have my grapes as a snack sometime mid-afternoon. I've already planned out my evening food....and I've got it all under control!
Tomorrow is the day of our local parade. My branch (job) is riding in the parade. Should be interesting....lol The guy that is driving us down the parade route is plannign on having a cooler with water for us to drink. So what does dumb me say? "oh my...maybe I should bake something so that we have something to nibble on also!" What in the world? Am I insane???? Because not only do I not NEED something to nibble on while we ride in the parade.....I do NOT need to have the tempation of the baking in my house! Oh well....I may bake something and just chew my gum the whole time so that the unconcious action of putting food into my mouth will not derail me!
It's been a crazy day of highs and lows for me. Things were good when I got off the bike. They took a huge nose dive during a serious conversation with Todd. I got myself under control at work. And then things went belly up crazy. I had two customers at the drive through BEFORE we even opened....not to mention the rush I had right after we opened. We had 3 classes of first graders come in for a tour. They came in and have been working on removing some old lock boxes out of our vault (takes a while to do apparently as they have been doing here now for at least three hours.). Oh yes, and our downstairs bathroom here at work has been acting funny. The plumber has been here since about 9AM...it's 1:39 right now. He's been snaking it, they have had the sanitation department here snakign it past the pump into the city sewer lines. It's absolutely nutty. We are having to go next door to ask to use the restroom. Crazy. Everyone here is in a decent mood...so we've been laughing and carrying on about the 'poop' issues that we are having. I didn't know they could snake the lines for so long!!! I'm ready for some peace and quiet! My time at work is "MaryFran's" personal time. LOL It's my time to write my blog, read a book and all this stuff (between customers of course). This noise is infringing upon my peace. LOL My...what a rough job I have...tee hee hee
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Proud of me!
I held firm. I do not know my weight for today. Was it difficult to not step on the scales? Well, I took the temptation away. You see, I'm rather anal. I try to weigh myself under the same conditions each morning. Immediately upon rising, after my morning bathroom trip, before I take anything to drink and I absolutely positively weigh myself before any bite of food passes my lips. So I knew if I could 'ruin' the ideal conditions, I would not weigh myself. Thus, this morning when I woke up, I walked to the other bathroom and bypassed the master bathroom and it's scale. And of course I had breakfast before I had any need to go into that bathroom again. So that when I did go into the bathroom, there was no temptation whatsoever. Has it been easy not knowing where I am on the scales? NOOOOO it's killing me! I want to know. I had pasta last night for dinner.....did it affect me negatively. Honestly it shouldn't have. I knew I was having pasta for dinner...so I watched my carbs all day...and my points...managed my eating so to speak. Yep, I'm having pasta again tonight. Last night was spaghetti...tonight is pesto . I'll grill a chicken breast for Todd. I'm not too overly enthralled with the meat...so I'd rather use my points on fruits of veggies. :-) I've managed my eating again today to accommodate for this.
The manager at work yesterday told me that they are ordering out for us tomorrow to thank us for our long work hours this week. So I'll be eating lunch here. I will have a little control. But I kinda panicked about the fact that I normally a lighter meal for lunch, I'll be eating heavier than normal and Still have to go home and cook for Todd. BUT, I finally came up with a solution. Todd is wanting me to cook some sausage that he got. I had offered to make pancakes ...but realized that we are almost out of syrup (note to self...put syrup on grocery list). He was like, No problem, you can do eggs and toast. SOOOOO since I'm not a big fan of meat....and well, eggs also. I'll be able to make his (which I'll enjoy doing for him) and then eat what I want. Sounds like a perfect plan to me. Crisis averted!
Rode the exercise bike for about 40 minutes this morning. Didn't feel like I was doing well. Clocked about 12.7 miles. So I guess I didn't do all that badly. But I definitely feel as if I could have done better. I was almost tempted to stay on and watch the next episode of my show...but then I remembered the kitchen that needed my attention (I wanted to move the microwave to a different location...where it was was just KILLING the counter space in a place that I need it most!) and some other chores completed around the house before coming to work.
ARRGGGHHH the stupid mower saga. Well, it was the chipper that was giving us problems way back when we got the two stupid machines 2 months ago. Well...after like 3 or 4 swap outs, the chipper problem is solved. I've been using the mower about once a week.....and last time clatter clatter clatter clatter, every time I lifted the blade. Todd went out the other day to check it out.....he heard the noise and saw smoke, so he turned it off. This morning, since I'm the one that has used it the most, I went out to look. Oh my word, it was smoking great big puffs of black smoke! I drove it a bit around the yard...the power is like non-existent...I could barely make it move on the flat areas...much less the sloping parts of the yard. And it clattered and clanked something fierce...with the blade up or down! DANG! What it is with our luck! This is a stinking new lawn mower! LUCKILY it is warrantied through an extended service plan for 3 years......all except stupid stuff that the operator could do to damage it and general maintenance stuff. :-) I always panic though when they come under a service plan....because oh my word...what if it's something stupid I did and I end up having to pay for the service call!!! Not to mention that the grass is growing up around my arm pits from all this blasted rain! (yeah yeah, I know...come mid summer I'll be begging for rain.....) OH yeah, and did I tell you that i ran over a part on our old mower rendering it useless until it's fixed??????? STRESS city! Take deep breathes MaryFran. Breathing in......breathing out!
Day two of the healthy habit challenge! I almost forgot to take my vitamins...but I did remember and the multi and the calcium are down the hatch! Heading into day three strong! :-)
The manager at work yesterday told me that they are ordering out for us tomorrow to thank us for our long work hours this week. So I'll be eating lunch here. I will have a little control. But I kinda panicked about the fact that I normally a lighter meal for lunch, I'll be eating heavier than normal and Still have to go home and cook for Todd. BUT, I finally came up with a solution. Todd is wanting me to cook some sausage that he got. I had offered to make pancakes ...but realized that we are almost out of syrup (note to self...put syrup on grocery list). He was like, No problem, you can do eggs and toast. SOOOOO since I'm not a big fan of meat....and well, eggs also. I'll be able to make his (which I'll enjoy doing for him) and then eat what I want. Sounds like a perfect plan to me. Crisis averted!
Rode the exercise bike for about 40 minutes this morning. Didn't feel like I was doing well. Clocked about 12.7 miles. So I guess I didn't do all that badly. But I definitely feel as if I could have done better. I was almost tempted to stay on and watch the next episode of my show...but then I remembered the kitchen that needed my attention (I wanted to move the microwave to a different location...where it was was just KILLING the counter space in a place that I need it most!) and some other chores completed around the house before coming to work.
ARRGGGHHH the stupid mower saga. Well, it was the chipper that was giving us problems way back when we got the two stupid machines 2 months ago. Well...after like 3 or 4 swap outs, the chipper problem is solved. I've been using the mower about once a week.....and last time clatter clatter clatter clatter, every time I lifted the blade. Todd went out the other day to check it out.....he heard the noise and saw smoke, so he turned it off. This morning, since I'm the one that has used it the most, I went out to look. Oh my word, it was smoking great big puffs of black smoke! I drove it a bit around the yard...the power is like non-existent...I could barely make it move on the flat areas...much less the sloping parts of the yard. And it clattered and clanked something fierce...with the blade up or down! DANG! What it is with our luck! This is a stinking new lawn mower! LUCKILY it is warrantied through an extended service plan for 3 years......all except stupid stuff that the operator could do to damage it and general maintenance stuff. :-) I always panic though when they come under a service plan....because oh my word...what if it's something stupid I did and I end up having to pay for the service call!!! Not to mention that the grass is growing up around my arm pits from all this blasted rain! (yeah yeah, I know...come mid summer I'll be begging for rain.....) OH yeah, and did I tell you that i ran over a part on our old mower rendering it useless until it's fixed??????? STRESS city! Take deep breathes MaryFran. Breathing in......breathing out!
Day two of the healthy habit challenge! I almost forgot to take my vitamins...but I did remember and the multi and the calcium are down the hatch! Heading into day three strong! :-)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The eventual death of a scale
One of these days I'm going to do it. I swear, I will! I am goign to pick up those darn pesky MEAN scales and whip them across the room. Hopefully Todd will pick up on my anger and duck in time! I know I wrote yesterday that I seriously contemplating not stepping onto the cursed things today. What in the world happened then? Well, I woke up early, even before the alarm. It was about 5:45 or so. I went into the bathroom and the little babies all followed me in for their first pet of the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah...tis very disconcerting to have 4 cats follow you into the bathroom and want lovin'. It's even worse when they sit and stare at you while you are in the the shower, crying for you to get out so they can lick the water droplets from the bottom of the tub. AND YES, they have plenty of water at their disposal at all times! But anyway, I digress. I was in there and that square gray platform was just visible out of the corner of my eye. I ate healthy yesterday. My thoughts warred wtih each other. Part of me was saying, "Stay away" but the other half of me was saying, "Let me look and see if it shows on the scales!" I succumbed. I stepped on with a smile.....and a short bit later stepped off with a scowl! Crapolla! Yesterday i was at 183.8...today I'd managed to hit 184.4. Hot diggity dog! A deep sigh of resignation later and I moved through the house to grab my headphones from my desk. You see, my exercise bike is in my bedroom and I had a husband that was sleeping. I hooked up my headphones...flipped on the computer, pulled up youtube and found the episode that I'm on. And I peddled away. I decided to up the resistance today. And I had a realistic goal in my head of how far I wanted to go in my 25 minutes. I made it. 8.18 miles. Forgot to put on my heart rate monitor...and I don't like the bikes heart rate monitor...so I don't know where I was with that. :-)
What do I watch on youtube. I'm working my way through the Austrailian, season 1 The biggest loser...which are all on youtube I will NOT let myself watch any episode unless I'm on the bike and peddling to beat the band. There have been one or two days where I'm dying to see the next episode so I keep biking. :-) every fifth workout is an hour long episode....so it changes up the routine a bit. PLUS, I'm riding and Bob and Jillian are there pushing the contestants on to work harder and it does cause me to dig a little deeper while riding. To go a bit further. To try harder. So I guess it's good for me!
So anyway, very proud of myself for pushing through it and still getting on the exercise bike! I've done good thus far today with my eating. All is under control. I am planning on having spaghetti tonight for dinner...but one, I have the points for it. And two I'm going to make sure i actually measure out my pasta!
My last words for this entry. I'm not gonna do. No indeed, I'm not gonna do it. Tomorrow I will NOT step on those scales.
What do I watch on youtube. I'm working my way through the Austrailian, season 1 The biggest loser...which are all on youtube I will NOT let myself watch any episode unless I'm on the bike and peddling to beat the band. There have been one or two days where I'm dying to see the next episode so I keep biking. :-) every fifth workout is an hour long episode....so it changes up the routine a bit. PLUS, I'm riding and Bob and Jillian are there pushing the contestants on to work harder and it does cause me to dig a little deeper while riding. To go a bit further. To try harder. So I guess it's good for me!
So anyway, very proud of myself for pushing through it and still getting on the exercise bike! I've done good thus far today with my eating. All is under control. I am planning on having spaghetti tonight for dinner...but one, I have the points for it. And two I'm going to make sure i actually measure out my pasta!
My last words for this entry. I'm not gonna do. No indeed, I'm not gonna do it. Tomorrow I will NOT step on those scales.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Skipped Meeting
I noticed something on Monday. Last summer when I bought my clothes for this job I purposefully bought everything tight. The shirts were not exactly gaping tight but they were right on the cusp of gaping, especially at my bustline. Well, yesterday I wore one of those shirts to work. I was working the drivethrough and couldn't help but notice my reflection in the window. The shirt was lose. As in I could pull the shirt about 2 inches (so 4 inches of fabric) to put it back to the fit that I had last year in the shirt. It looks more frumpy now..but it's REALLY lose.
Something else happened. Tuesday morning I put on my work clothes. I'm wearing another shirt that I've had for a while and that is a bit loose. Todd looked at me and was like, "Damn, in the last month you have become really curvy and your shape is becoming more defined." He was like, is it the clothes you are wearing? I could honestly look at him and say..NOPE, these are clothes that I've been wearing for a year or so!
SO, even though I've not been losing weight, at least it's showing somewhere! The problem, we are a society that is based upon concrete things. A weight, a number on the scale, those are concrete. Something I can announce and it's all good. It's harder to measure, loose clothing, or the occaisional compliment. Yet, it's those things, the compliments the loose clothing, the reduced inches....THOSE are the things that really matter. I need to focus less on the scale and more on the physical changes in my body. OK, ok, ok, easier said then done. Especially since I'm trying get to that magical goal weight!
As for the scales. Do I weigh? Or do I not weigh throughout this week? It really is a dilema for me. I know that to weigh in every day keeps me on track and focused. However, when the scales just do stupid things its so frustrating. Oh well, I'll just play it by ear.
Just recently I read on someones blog (sorry, I can't for the life of me remember whom or even where) about a movie called Touching the Void. It struck a chord because this person mentioned a bit about the story (a mountain climber gets hurt and has to climb down with a broken leg....beating incredible odds). SHe mentioned that this guy did it by focusing on one object and reaching that object. I do this when I'm pushing myself either biking or jogging, so it really struck me. SOOOO I rushed to netflix and put it at the top of my list. It came today. Watched it....INCREDIBLE story! Yes, his focusing on the next goal and setting a time limit to help him remain focused is just amazing. HOWEVER, he knew he had to do something....beat incredible odds...no matter the cost. He ignored the pain. (as best he could) He overcame his fatalistic attitude. And he just did it. My word.....can't that be compared to weight loss. To most people to lose weight is to beat incredible odds. It hurts, physically, mentally and emotionally. And it's so easy to adopt a fatalistic attitude (yeah read my last few posts). The end is worth it. I started this because I knew that my weight was going to kill me. That makes me no different than the main character in the movie....he knew he had to do something or die. Same place I'm at mentally. Or where I was at when I started this journey. Because I knew that I had to do something because my weight was slowly killing me!
That reminds me of something that I read that was written by Lance Armstrong (the biker that battled cancer and came back to win the tour de france many times over. He said taht while training after cancer, the pain of training paled in comparison to the pain of battling cancer. He had stared death in the face and intense training had NOTHING on it.
Beating the odds is truely mental.
Something else happened. Tuesday morning I put on my work clothes. I'm wearing another shirt that I've had for a while and that is a bit loose. Todd looked at me and was like, "Damn, in the last month you have become really curvy and your shape is becoming more defined." He was like, is it the clothes you are wearing? I could honestly look at him and say..NOPE, these are clothes that I've been wearing for a year or so!
SO, even though I've not been losing weight, at least it's showing somewhere! The problem, we are a society that is based upon concrete things. A weight, a number on the scale, those are concrete. Something I can announce and it's all good. It's harder to measure, loose clothing, or the occaisional compliment. Yet, it's those things, the compliments the loose clothing, the reduced inches....THOSE are the things that really matter. I need to focus less on the scale and more on the physical changes in my body. OK, ok, ok, easier said then done. Especially since I'm trying get to that magical goal weight!
As for the scales. Do I weigh? Or do I not weigh throughout this week? It really is a dilema for me. I know that to weigh in every day keeps me on track and focused. However, when the scales just do stupid things its so frustrating. Oh well, I'll just play it by ear.
Just recently I read on someones blog (sorry, I can't for the life of me remember whom or even where) about a movie called Touching the Void. It struck a chord because this person mentioned a bit about the story (a mountain climber gets hurt and has to climb down with a broken leg....beating incredible odds). SHe mentioned that this guy did it by focusing on one object and reaching that object. I do this when I'm pushing myself either biking or jogging, so it really struck me. SOOOO I rushed to netflix and put it at the top of my list. It came today. Watched it....INCREDIBLE story! Yes, his focusing on the next goal and setting a time limit to help him remain focused is just amazing. HOWEVER, he knew he had to do something....beat incredible odds...no matter the cost. He ignored the pain. (as best he could) He overcame his fatalistic attitude. And he just did it. My word.....can't that be compared to weight loss. To most people to lose weight is to beat incredible odds. It hurts, physically, mentally and emotionally. And it's so easy to adopt a fatalistic attitude (yeah read my last few posts). The end is worth it. I started this because I knew that my weight was going to kill me. That makes me no different than the main character in the movie....he knew he had to do something or die. Same place I'm at mentally. Or where I was at when I started this journey. Because I knew that I had to do something because my weight was slowly killing me!
That reminds me of something that I read that was written by Lance Armstrong (the biker that battled cancer and came back to win the tour de france many times over. He said taht while training after cancer, the pain of training paled in comparison to the pain of battling cancer. He had stared death in the face and intense training had NOTHING on it.
Beating the odds is truely mental.
I faced the scales and what did I get????
YOu know...that is the worst part of this healthy lifestyle/weight loss journey. You can be doing sooo dang good, and then you have a day where you eat what you want which in itself is not all that bad. The bad part comes around the following days...because that eating has sparked memories in our body. Memories of all sorts of foods. ANd it seems like for me, once I get started, I hvae such a difficult time stopping the eating pattern. I know that this is true for most people also! ARRGGGHHHHHH
I haven't weighed myself yet this morning. I have tried to stay away from the scales for the last few days. It was actually becoming counter-productive. It was dragging me down. I"m really worried about what the results may be. I haven't been crazy out of control, however I know that I haven't eaten as WELL as I Could have. I know that the eating not quite as well as I could have has stemmed from two things. Number one, I weighed myself one day and the scales just jumped up with no cause....I fought the urge to become all fatalistic and just say screw it all. and Number two...I'm still down about a situation in my life. So I"m fighting emotional eating! Lovely! Ohhh and something else that is making my weight a bit skewed and off kilter I"m sure (or will be when I hop on the scales)...my body is all whacked out.....things are not being eliminated regularly.....and that can seriously affect weight. OH well.....we take the good and we take the bad. (dang, can I just keep singing the Facts of LIfe theme song? Remember that show???)
Well, TOdd and I were going to go for a walk this morning. HOwever, it's raining. AGAIN. I know I know I know. Come the middle of summer we will be BEGGING for rain, and I'll be writing stuff like, "If it would just rain!" I'm never happy..tee hee hee. OH yeah, and the cold. This is the coldest May. We are literally what...two weeks? from June and it's dang cold out there! What's up with this????? I want warm weather. I'm so tired of being cold. I'm cold all the time. 60 degree weather makes me cold. Heck, I"m cold in my house, I"m cold outside. I"m just dang cold! The hot weather has seemed to be the only time that my appendages (fingers and toes especially) are not icicles! That is the only negative about losing weight that I have found. (I lost weight and now I"m ALWAYS cold. I've talked to a few other people that have also experienced this phenominan) Anyway, that long ramble to say that I guess I"ll have to ride the exercise bike.
OK, I just did it. I went to weigh myself. I didn't want to leave myself hanging about my weight (tee hee hee) Last Teusday I weighed in at 180.8 on my home scales. ~which equated to 179.8 on the weight watchers scales~~ This morning......183.8. That is a three pound gain! THREE FREAKIN POUNDS! What is it about the 180 pound barrier. I can get myself to 180 point...briefly...and then my weight just pops back up. Absolutely devastating to my morale.
Which brings me to my next subject. I have been debating about going to my meeting tonight. My first debate was because of all the hours that I"m working this week....it's a crazy week at work. MF do overtime? RARE RARE RARE...but not this week! we are talking like LOTS of hours extra..first to get me to a fulltime status (I only work part time normally) and then tons more to push me into the overtime bracket. Means a nice paycheck...but it means that MF's life is crazy. I"m used to having all sorts of time to do things around the house and to help my husband. ANd it does take time to log the mileage that I"ve been putting up on my exercise log. SO I debated about going from that standpoint....timewise. BUT the main thing is the weight. I honestly don't want to go....I'm disgusted.
I haven't weighed myself yet this morning. I have tried to stay away from the scales for the last few days. It was actually becoming counter-productive. It was dragging me down. I"m really worried about what the results may be. I haven't been crazy out of control, however I know that I haven't eaten as WELL as I Could have. I know that the eating not quite as well as I could have has stemmed from two things. Number one, I weighed myself one day and the scales just jumped up with no cause....I fought the urge to become all fatalistic and just say screw it all. and Number two...I'm still down about a situation in my life. So I"m fighting emotional eating! Lovely! Ohhh and something else that is making my weight a bit skewed and off kilter I"m sure (or will be when I hop on the scales)...my body is all whacked out.....things are not being eliminated regularly.....and that can seriously affect weight. OH well.....we take the good and we take the bad. (dang, can I just keep singing the Facts of LIfe theme song? Remember that show???)
Well, TOdd and I were going to go for a walk this morning. HOwever, it's raining. AGAIN. I know I know I know. Come the middle of summer we will be BEGGING for rain, and I'll be writing stuff like, "If it would just rain!" I'm never happy..tee hee hee. OH yeah, and the cold. This is the coldest May. We are literally what...two weeks? from June and it's dang cold out there! What's up with this????? I want warm weather. I'm so tired of being cold. I'm cold all the time. 60 degree weather makes me cold. Heck, I"m cold in my house, I"m cold outside. I"m just dang cold! The hot weather has seemed to be the only time that my appendages (fingers and toes especially) are not icicles! That is the only negative about losing weight that I have found. (I lost weight and now I"m ALWAYS cold. I've talked to a few other people that have also experienced this phenominan) Anyway, that long ramble to say that I guess I"ll have to ride the exercise bike.
OK, I just did it. I went to weigh myself. I didn't want to leave myself hanging about my weight (tee hee hee) Last Teusday I weighed in at 180.8 on my home scales. ~which equated to 179.8 on the weight watchers scales~~ This morning......183.8. That is a three pound gain! THREE FREAKIN POUNDS! What is it about the 180 pound barrier. I can get myself to 180 point...briefly...and then my weight just pops back up. Absolutely devastating to my morale.
Which brings me to my next subject. I have been debating about going to my meeting tonight. My first debate was because of all the hours that I"m working this week....it's a crazy week at work. MF do overtime? RARE RARE RARE...but not this week! we are talking like LOTS of hours extra..first to get me to a fulltime status (I only work part time normally) and then tons more to push me into the overtime bracket. Means a nice paycheck...but it means that MF's life is crazy. I"m used to having all sorts of time to do things around the house and to help my husband. ANd it does take time to log the mileage that I"ve been putting up on my exercise log. SO I debated about going from that standpoint....timewise. BUT the main thing is the weight. I honestly don't want to go....I'm disgusted.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Struggling
RIght now I am struggling so dang hard! I want to eat! I came home from work and I had my dinner all planned out. I had left over points! I ate my dinner that I had planned...and kept eating. I'm now 3 points in the hole!!! What the heck! I know part of my issues that I have with food currently is the resurgance of the feelings that are causing me to feel down in the dumps. I was so energized adn recharged a few weeks (or was it only a week?) ago when I wrote the 'soul searching' entry. How quickly things crumble.
I'm not sure what the scales will hold for me tomorrow! I am going to weigh myself tomorrow regardless. I'll admit that if it's really bad I may not go to my weight watcher meeting. I know that is bad. REally bad. If it's somewhat close, I'll probably go. Oh heck, I need to face up to it either way. I guess it will depend on my mood tomorrow.
Got up this morning. And before I even left the bed I had decided that I would ride the exercise bike in the morning and then peddle to work. SO I did a more leisurly ride on the exercise bike ....just 6.61 miles. And yes, I did follow through and ride to work. Dang it was cold and windy! Luckily I had planned ahead and wore pants, a teeshirt and a sweatshirt! Changed into work clothes when I arrived at work and then back into my riding clothes at the end of the day. All was good! :-)
Nothing else exciting happening here. Oh wait...yes....our NEW lawn mower is making funky noises!!!!! What the heck....are we cursed? At least we bought the extended warranty...but still....waiting for it to get fixed the grass will grow up around my ears!
I'm not sure what the scales will hold for me tomorrow! I am going to weigh myself tomorrow regardless. I'll admit that if it's really bad I may not go to my weight watcher meeting. I know that is bad. REally bad. If it's somewhat close, I'll probably go. Oh heck, I need to face up to it either way. I guess it will depend on my mood tomorrow.
Got up this morning. And before I even left the bed I had decided that I would ride the exercise bike in the morning and then peddle to work. SO I did a more leisurly ride on the exercise bike ....just 6.61 miles. And yes, I did follow through and ride to work. Dang it was cold and windy! Luckily I had planned ahead and wore pants, a teeshirt and a sweatshirt! Changed into work clothes when I arrived at work and then back into my riding clothes at the end of the day. All was good! :-)
Nothing else exciting happening here. Oh wait...yes....our NEW lawn mower is making funky noises!!!!! What the heck....are we cursed? At least we bought the extended warranty...but still....waiting for it to get fixed the grass will grow up around my ears!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Friday victory!
Well, I was so utterly proud of myself yesterday. I feel as if I manuevered and managed that potluck so good! I ate a little bit of baked beans and the rest of my meal...FRUIT! I did go back mid afternoon to grab another strawberry (actually two) but I stayed away from all the yummy looking fattening foods. I didn't have any going away cake, no punch..nuttin! I came home and ate healthy for dinner.
Today looking at my eating I have to look at it relatively. I don't feel as if I've been bad. Especially when I look at what I would have 'previously' before this new lifestyle would have eaten. We went out to Hoss's. I ate probably more than I normally do now...but soooo much better than previously. OK...I just wrote it down in my journal. With my dinner....I am actually only 1 point over for today. That's not bad! And knowing that I didnt blow my whole day, will make it that much easier for me to not eat poorly tonight and snack away! I was actually proud of myself. I had picked up a piece of garlic bread to eat. It looked sooooo good...all buttery and toasty. BUT, when I tasted it..they had put too much garlic on it......it wasnt bad..but it didn't taste good. I ate a bite..and put it aside and didn't touch it again. Likewise, I had gotten some applesauce for my dessert (off the salad bar). I tasted it...and it tasted like crap. (OK, it also wasn't bad...but I'm used to my own homemade applesauec..and nothing compares to homemade/home canned applesauce). I took one bite and decided that even though it was a fruit...it wasn't worth it! I put that aside.
Todd and I walked through the mall after lunch. I bought two more skirts today. They are really cute. I can't wait to wear them. :-) Theywere on sale at JcPenney's....but one get one for a dollar. Not too bad. So I basically got them about $15 a piece. They are adorable. I actually saw them last week when I was shopping with mom...but I Couldn't find them when we first walked through the store. I saw them on the way out of hte mall (we had parked outside of Penney's)...but by that time I had spent my money and I was tired. I didn't feel like trying anything else on! I'll admit...I went into the mall with the thought of getting the skirt today. And I went ahead and just got two....I'd be a fool to pay full price for one and ignore the second one that I could get for a buck! :-) Straight up size 12! It seems as if I'm a solid size 12. WOO HOOO!
Ohhh yeah, then we walked by B MOss. I saw the most adorable sundress in the window. It was a white background with red flowers all over it. ABSOLUTELY adorable. I went in to try it on. They had a size 10 and a size 14. The 14 was too big...the 10 was too small. It was 50% off also. Shucks! Oh well...that still woul dhave been $40. And I haven't even worn this last sundress that I bought! LOL
Todd and I went into the dreaded yucky walmart. Got a few things in there....and hightailed it out of there as quickly as possible. After walmart we headed to Martins to get our groceries. Nope, I don't do groceries at walmart. I won't lie and say that I"ve never done it...but we go mostly organic and natural. In our area, Martins is pretty much the best mainstream grocery store for buying that kind of product. Groceries bought, we came home...I put everything away, cleaned my produce/fruit (this week it's bananas, apples, grapes, cherries, and strawberries...yummy) and whipped up a batch of watergate salad for Todd. I sat around a bit talking to todd....adn now here I am. YEp, my day has just been super exciting hasn't it? Woo hooo. It was nice to get out though.
I really should get on the exercise bike tonight. But I think I'm going to skip it tonight. I've ridden like a demon this week. I will get back on tomorrow...without fail! :-)
Emotionally, I'm feeling really blue. Nothing too much about my weight. Yeah, I'm disgusted that my weight is flucuating...but I'm not too worried about it...I'm going to muscle through the 180 wall that is before me. It's just life in general. HOnestly I'll also admit that my mind is stuck and dwelling on a problem that I face in my daily life. ANd that just sucks the joy from me. I know it happens...and I know that just recognizing it should make it easier to shake these feelings from me......but it's so much easier said than done.
Even though I'm blue and down though...I refuse to let it suck my self confidence again!!!!
Today looking at my eating I have to look at it relatively. I don't feel as if I've been bad. Especially when I look at what I would have 'previously' before this new lifestyle would have eaten. We went out to Hoss's. I ate probably more than I normally do now...but soooo much better than previously. OK...I just wrote it down in my journal. With my dinner....I am actually only 1 point over for today. That's not bad! And knowing that I didnt blow my whole day, will make it that much easier for me to not eat poorly tonight and snack away! I was actually proud of myself. I had picked up a piece of garlic bread to eat. It looked sooooo good...all buttery and toasty. BUT, when I tasted it..they had put too much garlic on it......it wasnt bad..but it didn't taste good. I ate a bite..and put it aside and didn't touch it again. Likewise, I had gotten some applesauce for my dessert (off the salad bar). I tasted it...and it tasted like crap. (OK, it also wasn't bad...but I'm used to my own homemade applesauec..and nothing compares to homemade/home canned applesauce). I took one bite and decided that even though it was a fruit...it wasn't worth it! I put that aside.
Todd and I walked through the mall after lunch. I bought two more skirts today. They are really cute. I can't wait to wear them. :-) Theywere on sale at JcPenney's....but one get one for a dollar. Not too bad. So I basically got them about $15 a piece. They are adorable. I actually saw them last week when I was shopping with mom...but I Couldn't find them when we first walked through the store. I saw them on the way out of hte mall (we had parked outside of Penney's)...but by that time I had spent my money and I was tired. I didn't feel like trying anything else on! I'll admit...I went into the mall with the thought of getting the skirt today. And I went ahead and just got two....I'd be a fool to pay full price for one and ignore the second one that I could get for a buck! :-) Straight up size 12! It seems as if I'm a solid size 12. WOO HOOO!
Ohhh yeah, then we walked by B MOss. I saw the most adorable sundress in the window. It was a white background with red flowers all over it. ABSOLUTELY adorable. I went in to try it on. They had a size 10 and a size 14. The 14 was too big...the 10 was too small. It was 50% off also. Shucks! Oh well...that still woul dhave been $40. And I haven't even worn this last sundress that I bought! LOL
Todd and I went into the dreaded yucky walmart. Got a few things in there....and hightailed it out of there as quickly as possible. After walmart we headed to Martins to get our groceries. Nope, I don't do groceries at walmart. I won't lie and say that I"ve never done it...but we go mostly organic and natural. In our area, Martins is pretty much the best mainstream grocery store for buying that kind of product. Groceries bought, we came home...I put everything away, cleaned my produce/fruit (this week it's bananas, apples, grapes, cherries, and strawberries...yummy) and whipped up a batch of watergate salad for Todd. I sat around a bit talking to todd....adn now here I am. YEp, my day has just been super exciting hasn't it? Woo hooo. It was nice to get out though.
I really should get on the exercise bike tonight. But I think I'm going to skip it tonight. I've ridden like a demon this week. I will get back on tomorrow...without fail! :-)
Emotionally, I'm feeling really blue. Nothing too much about my weight. Yeah, I'm disgusted that my weight is flucuating...but I'm not too worried about it...I'm going to muscle through the 180 wall that is before me. It's just life in general. HOnestly I'll also admit that my mind is stuck and dwelling on a problem that I face in my daily life. ANd that just sucks the joy from me. I know it happens...and I know that just recognizing it should make it easier to shake these feelings from me......but it's so much easier said than done.
Even though I'm blue and down though...I refuse to let it suck my self confidence again!!!!
Friday, May 16, 2008
The excuse for my weight issues!!!
What perfect timing to get this cartoon in my email. I've found the excuse for my weight woes!
The 'weight god's' are smiling upon me (haa haa haa...the weight gods...that's so nutty and sacrilegious) BUT, I came to work with my fruit tray, I walked into the back door and hallelujah the pot luck was set up in the back hallway! Normally we set it up on the counter right behind the teller line. AND to make matters better, I am not at the drive through window...which is RIGHT BESIDE the food today! I was a bit worried about having to sit here and actually look at the food all day. So I'm one happy camper! I am however getting hungry.....fruit fruit, here I come! :-) And if I'm lucky there will something else that I can possibly eat. I'm not doing it if it's not healthy though. SO it may just be fruit for me to eat. AND, I'm going to only use the dip minimally. :-)
I will beat this!
Come on 10AM...so I can go to work!
I'm bored this morning. I woke up early and got everything that needed to be done completed and finished by 7AM....including a 9.87 mile ride, preparing a fruit tray, dinner in the crockpot, dishes washed, showered, dressed, bed made. Dang I was good. SO here I sit, waiting to go to work at 10AM...bored. SO I started playing with my digital camera and the timer. HEre is a not so bad picture of me....although my teeth look kinda weird and as you can tell, I'm letting my hair dry naturally, so it's still a bit wet. OH well
What the..... This morning my weight was up like two pounds! IT's the same pattern. I dip into the 170's and then boom, I jump back up! I DO know that I had a heavier meal...lots of carbs last night. AND this mornings weigh in was earlier than I normally weigh in and just before some normal morning routines. HOwever.....damn. I think I'm going to focus for the next few days and pretty much ignore the scales here at home. It's just going to frustrate me to no end.
Maybe this little spike was what I needed to help me stay focused at the pot luck today. I know that honestly it makes me want to give in and eat like a pig because I feel that 'I may as well...the weight is gonna sky rocket anyway'. BUT, I can't adopt that fatalistic attitude!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thursday evening check in
My legs are tired today after my workout. I can feel some muscle soreness in my calves. I dont' normally feel that after a ride...so it's kinda cool. I guess it's a combo of the big ride today...the small ride yesterday and HOURS of climbing up and down a ladder yesterday. WHatever it is...I"m good with it.
We had pancakes for dinner tonight. I had a huge portion. However, I'm not too worried. I had the points for them. AND, knowing that I was going to have pancakes tonight, I watched my carb intake today. NO toast for me. :-)
Tomorrow is a pot luck at work. I am a bit worried. I was goign to forgo it totally. I mean, I was goign to take something...just not eat. And the teller supervisor had a fit saying things like, "You ARE going to eat" and stuff like that. SHe was like, "You can have a little of everything" The problem being...I know me..I can't just stop with a 'little' of everything. That is the problem. If I start, I will not be able to stop. SOOOOOO to appease everyone, I'm taking a fruit tray and a fruit dip. As long as I stay away from the fruit dip, I"ll be ok! I plan on having ONE serving of fruit dip. :-) I am losing weight. There is NO way I want to mess that up! NO way! It's taken me soooo long to get the weight going down.
We had pancakes for dinner tonight. I had a huge portion. However, I'm not too worried. I had the points for them. AND, knowing that I was going to have pancakes tonight, I watched my carb intake today. NO toast for me. :-)
Tomorrow is a pot luck at work. I am a bit worried. I was goign to forgo it totally. I mean, I was goign to take something...just not eat. And the teller supervisor had a fit saying things like, "You ARE going to eat" and stuff like that. SHe was like, "You can have a little of everything" The problem being...I know me..I can't just stop with a 'little' of everything. That is the problem. If I start, I will not be able to stop. SOOOOOO to appease everyone, I'm taking a fruit tray and a fruit dip. As long as I stay away from the fruit dip, I"ll be ok! I plan on having ONE serving of fruit dip. :-) I am losing weight. There is NO way I want to mess that up! NO way! It's taken me soooo long to get the weight going down.
Just a thought!
SOme quotes that hit me today..paraphrased
It's all about rebuilding a self image. I need to take a look at my achievments and feel a sense of accomplishment in them. I need to be the girl that CAN and I need to be the girl that DOES! NOt the girl that quits because it's hard. I need to change my perspective!
That just totally hit me.....That is something that just hit me within the last few weeks. SO to hear it coming at me (from the biggest loser austrailian season 1...episode 31) was a good reminder that I'm on track.
Meanwhile, my weight is going down a bit! WOO HOOO! I actually rode the bike this morning. 18.3 miles! INstead of doing two separate rides...I just did a long one! :-) THus far this week, two days in; my mileage is at 37.62 miles! Awesome!
It's all about rebuilding a self image. I need to take a look at my achievments and feel a sense of accomplishment in them. I need to be the girl that CAN and I need to be the girl that DOES! NOt the girl that quits because it's hard. I need to change my perspective!
That just totally hit me.....That is something that just hit me within the last few weeks. SO to hear it coming at me (from the biggest loser austrailian season 1...episode 31) was a good reminder that I'm on track.
Meanwhile, my weight is going down a bit! WOO HOOO! I actually rode the bike this morning. 18.3 miles! INstead of doing two separate rides...I just did a long one! :-) THus far this week, two days in; my mileage is at 37.62 miles! Awesome!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A day off well spent....now I"m well spent
BUSY BUSY BUSY day....and it was/is my day off of work! I got up at around 6Am. I did some work here at my desk, such as organizing my 'dump it in' bin, payed a few bills, copied a few dvd's, took my measurements for the month of May, updated my weight loss charts, that kind of thing. I then took off on a mad cleaning dash through the house. Toilets, floors, tables, nothing was untouched! I was a cleaning machine. I was outside by 9Am. I painted. And I painted. I did take a break for lunch. BUt immediately following that I painted. Then I painted some more. ANd then, just because that wasn't enough, I painted. FINALLY, I decided to call it quits for the day. I came inside and hopped onto the exercise bike and rode! I didn't ride too overly far or too overly long. BUt I rode. 7.38 miles. I ran out to the kitchen and put dinner in the oven. AND then FINALLY jumped into the shower. THe hot water felt soooo good. THe only problem. I had already done a few loads of laundry, washed some dishes and Todd had been i the shower. THe hot water didn't last all that long. ARRGGHH Oh well...it was good while it lasted.
Dinner...what the heck. I made scalloped potatoes. I've made this recipe a million ga-jillion times. ANd I was soooo hungry. SO when it was time to eat and I served them up....ick...they were still hard. Ok, they weren't hard...they just weren't totally soft. What's up with that. They were in the oven the full length of time...actually even longer than should be. ARRGGHHH OH well...everything else was tasty.
Hopefully my day of activity will show pleasant results on the scales tomorrow! This morning, I was only down .2 pounds from my yesterday morning home weight (yesterday was 180.6.....today was 180.4) I can't wait until I actually see the 170's on my home scales also! THen I will KNOW that I"m there.
Talking to Todd about my reward that I set for myself for the 170's. It was to go away on a day trip. I still want to do it. But we have soooo much dang work around the house here. And we have a self imposed deadline to get it done. SO all our time off gets sucked into these projects. I'm going to reward my self with the clothes taht I bought on Sunday. And give myself a little shopping trip every 5 pounds as a reward. :-) ONce we get some of these projects off our plates, then I"ll revisit the idea of going on a day trip! We'll see. The car stero is still my 164 goal though!
I'm planning on making pancakes and canadian bacon for a meal tomorrow. That sounds SOO Good to me. MY mouth is watering just thinkign about it. Yes, I'll eat healthy the rest of the day to compensate for it! AND exercise to beat the band. I"m actually hoping to get two rides in tomorrow. I watch the biggest loser austrailian season one while riding on the indoor bike currently. Tomorrow should be a normal 30 minute episode. And that would put me in line for an hour long episode on Friday. HOWEVER, with my work...it would be best for me to do a shorter ride on Friday. SOOO I"m going to try to ride twice tomorrow 1.5 hours. :-) We'll see. Honestly, like normal, I"ll be happy with one ride :-)
Dinner...what the heck. I made scalloped potatoes. I've made this recipe a million ga-jillion times. ANd I was soooo hungry. SO when it was time to eat and I served them up....ick...they were still hard. Ok, they weren't hard...they just weren't totally soft. What's up with that. They were in the oven the full length of time...actually even longer than should be. ARRGGHHH OH well...everything else was tasty.
Hopefully my day of activity will show pleasant results on the scales tomorrow! This morning, I was only down .2 pounds from my yesterday morning home weight (yesterday was 180.6.....today was 180.4) I can't wait until I actually see the 170's on my home scales also! THen I will KNOW that I"m there.
Talking to Todd about my reward that I set for myself for the 170's. It was to go away on a day trip. I still want to do it. But we have soooo much dang work around the house here. And we have a self imposed deadline to get it done. SO all our time off gets sucked into these projects. I'm going to reward my self with the clothes taht I bought on Sunday. And give myself a little shopping trip every 5 pounds as a reward. :-) ONce we get some of these projects off our plates, then I"ll revisit the idea of going on a day trip! We'll see. The car stero is still my 164 goal though!
I'm planning on making pancakes and canadian bacon for a meal tomorrow. That sounds SOO Good to me. MY mouth is watering just thinkign about it. Yes, I'll eat healthy the rest of the day to compensate for it! AND exercise to beat the band. I"m actually hoping to get two rides in tomorrow. I watch the biggest loser austrailian season one while riding on the indoor bike currently. Tomorrow should be a normal 30 minute episode. And that would put me in line for an hour long episode on Friday. HOWEVER, with my work...it would be best for me to do a shorter ride on Friday. SOOO I"m going to try to ride twice tomorrow 1.5 hours. :-) We'll see. Honestly, like normal, I"ll be happy with one ride :-)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Tuesday update
Ok...got home from work at about two-thirty. I sat around and talked to Todd a bit until he left at about three. I motivated myself to get outside and mow the yard. I was out on the mower until about 4. I came in and putzed around for the next half hour to 45 minutes which is when I left to go to my weight watchers meeting. TOdd and I had decided for me to go to the early weight watcher meeting while he was volunteering at the soup kitchen. I would then stick around and chit chat with my normal meeting mates when the came in until he was done...and then we would meet up for dinner. We went to Corsi's. IT was very good!
SOOOOOO now that I have wasted all this time......lets cut to the chase. My most unrealistic (yet still plausible with a long stretch of my imagination...hopes and dresams) was for me to make it to the 170's. I thought that after the icing incident that it was shot. This morning I kinda hoped, but I didn't want to think about it too overly much. Well, tonight I weighed in at 179.8. I squeeked into the 170's! I made it. Now I've just got to STAY here! I can do it! And I will do it! These last two weeks have been collosal weeks of weight loss for me. I know and fully expect my weight loss to slow down a bit. I'm ok with that...as long as it remains going down nice and steady! This also puts me at 15 pounds from my weight watchers goal!!! Woo hooo! I'm rolling now! :-)
SOOOOOO now that I have wasted all this time......lets cut to the chase. My most unrealistic (yet still plausible with a long stretch of my imagination...hopes and dresams) was for me to make it to the 170's. I thought that after the icing incident that it was shot. This morning I kinda hoped, but I didn't want to think about it too overly much. Well, tonight I weighed in at 179.8. I squeeked into the 170's! I made it. Now I've just got to STAY here! I can do it! And I will do it! These last two weeks have been collosal weeks of weight loss for me. I know and fully expect my weight loss to slow down a bit. I'm ok with that...as long as it remains going down nice and steady! This also puts me at 15 pounds from my weight watchers goal!!! Woo hooo! I'm rolling now! :-)
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