Tips to Avoid Emotional Eating

OK guys.  I am  a total emotional eater!  I can't lie and I can't keep it a secret.  What is the problem with that?  Emotional eating can wreak havoc with a weight loss journey.   Emotional eating is a sure fire way to derail me from achieving my goals on the scales.  I (we) can't let that happen!    When I'm stressed and emotional I turn to food.  It is my comfort and my go to and I fail a lot.  But with an arsenal of techniques and tips to avoid emotional eating, which I have listed below we may just be able to avoid that pitfall of emotional eating!

Emotions with Weight Loss

I had a situation occur about a week ago.  It came out of the blue and was completely unexpected.  It was something that if you know me you would know that not only was it a shock for me but anyone that knows me is shocked.  Jason's words were "Me, I would expect it but with you?  No way!"  The situation totally demoralized me and sent me into a tailspin in terms of my emotions.  It wasn't pretty! I wanted to run to the kitchen with all due haste!  I wanted to shovel in piles of chips and pretzels.  I wanted to make chocolate chip cookies and eat half of the cookie dough and bake the rest and eat those cookies!  I wanted to drown my sorrows in food!

But I didn't!  I stayed away from the kitchen.  Oh my, let me tell you....it was difficult!  But I did it!   Jason came home from work and we headed out for our walk and I talked to him (and cried).  Midway through the walk I realized something so important!

I didn't cave to Emotional Eating  

NO.  I didn't cave!  I won that round!!!!!  I did  not eat my emotions.  I took a different route to handle my emotions and it worked!!!  So what did I do????

1.  I asked myself,  Do you want to eat and stay fat or do you want to not eat and get thin???   I talked about this a week or so ago.  This is a choice and we just need to look at the LONG term benefits and consequences versus the here and now benefit!

2.  Write write write!   I pulled out my journal and I wrote about my emotions.  I have kept a journal for years.   I find that I tend to write more when I'm dealing with emotions and turmoil.  It really is a great way for me to destress and get those emotions out!

3.  Go for a walk, run, bike ride!  It doesn't matter what you do, just get out there and move!  The physical exertion will release endorphins and will help negate the emotional upheaval you are in.  The sweat will help wash away your issues.  Jason got home from work and he had me out walking within minutes!  And I felt better when we got home!!

4.  Talk to a friend.   During my walk with Jason I just opened up and poured out my heart.  He is a saint.  He listened, held my  hand and just supported me as I talked and cried.   Sometimes just talking to someone and having them listen  is all you need to let out those emotions in a healthy manner!

5.  Stay out of the kitchen!  One of the biggest tips is to just stay out of the kitchen.  Don't walk in to put a plate in the sink.  Don't put yourself in near proximity to food.  STAY AWAY from the kitchen!   Find something to do that will keep you out of the kitchen. Pick up a book, watch a movie, write a poem or work on your hobby!  It doesn't matter what you do.....just stay busy!!!!!

These tips are ways that I was able to navigate the pitfall of emotional eating in a successful way that did not derail me from my weight loss journey.  When emotions hit, you have to have a plan.  You have to have a plan of attack.  You have to do whatever it takes to avoid the emotional eating. Emotional eating is a temporary fix that will only lead you to be more angry with yourself...it will NOT fix the issue and will NOT get you to your goal of being fit and healthy!   I will be working to keep these tips first and foremost in my mind because I want to conquer this weight loss journey!!!

Eating our emotions

Some interesting days!   I had some revelations  about the stress eating cake to light during the last few days  as I continue to process the issues at work and how I handled them on Thursday night when I chose to not indulge in excess food.   And of course i have now lived with my new bike for a few days...

Eating our Emotions

An update on how things are going at work?  So the stressful situation at work is obviously still there. It will be there until either I switch jobs or this other employee  leaves the team/company.  Friday and Monday were much better....she didn’t show up for work.  Furthermore more of my coworkers talked to me and told me how they are behind me 100% and confirmed my suspicions that this other person is just highly jealous.  That makes it better..somewhat. But in the morning my stomach still clenches tight waiting for whatever fresh hostility would be coming my way, because I’m sure it will read it’s ugly head again....sooner or later .  I am relieved when she is MIA (which she is quite often!).  

Ok ok ok, enough about the update...what about my revelations?   On Thursday night I wanted to eat but I chose to not eat my emotions.   (And yes I was proud of myself.).  On Friday morning I wanted to dive headfirst into some kind of amazing food as I worried about the day to come.  But I didn’t!   I didn’t because I realized a few key factors.   

* I recognized that my desire to eat all sorts of food was a coping mechanism.   A very unhealthy coping mechanism. This coping mechanism is to eat my emotions....food will bring me comfort. Af least that is what my mind tells me.  I recognized the desire to eat for exactly what it was....not as true hunger  but as an effort to eat my emotions.  

* I recognized that eating my emotions would only delay this process of losing weight.  If I was LUCKY it would cause me to have a maintain on the scales. But an indulgence would most likely lead to a gain in the scales.   I sooooo did not want that!!  

* Once I recognized the previous two things, it was an easy conclusion to realize that caving to the desire to eat my emotions would only lead me to be more stressed...because I would then have the stress of the scales not moving on top of the work drama stress.  

* In conclusion, the biggest  shock of them all?  I got as much comfort....ok more....from the arms of Jason wrapped around me holding me tight as he listened to everything.   So seriously...find a good man (life partner) and problem solved!   Sorry ladies...Jason’s taken!   Now just to remember this lesson next time...no food, hugs from Jason instead...no food, hugs from Jason instead...no food, hugs from Jason instead!  (How many times do I have to repeat this until I remember it!!)

Food

I have been on target with my eating.   I had one minor bobble on Sunday night.   I made muffins for work. 

I ate some.  It was totally accounted for and I remained within my caloric goal!!!!

The beautiful bike

We rode on Sunday...a nice long ride!   On Monday we started a new habit!   We got home and immediately took the bikes out on the local little path!!

Granted we weren’t out there long.   But that was my fault.   The trail was flooded and I didn’t want to get my bike dirty!!!

On Tuesday we repeated it!  But this time the water had receeded and I deemed it ok to take my little beastly baby onward!   

It’s amazing how good I feel from that extra exercise in the evening!!!

Weight

My weight was at a low this weekend...and it has popped way up.  I’m disgusted.  But I’m ok with it.   Well not ok with it...but not distraught about it!!!  I think the biggest thing for me is the mystery of why!   Why has it popped up?   I know the first day was because I had inadvertently gotten dehydrated.   But that was taken care of.  The next day was the muffin day...was it the carbs?   But that was a few days ago.  I have ridden and excercised more so my muscles are getting a workout ...could that be it???   I just know that my weight is standing still at this higher weight.  I’m not giving up...the scales will catch up to my efforts!!!!

ahhh life.......

Here’s another two part blog entry.  This is simply because that’s how my mind works….a million directions at once.


 The first topic up for discussion is my relationship with the scale.   I have purposefully not set concrete goals for myself.  Or rather, I’ve set concrete goals but I don’t have a finite end for my goals.  I did not start this year when I recommitted to this journey with a statement that “I will be at my goal weight by my birthday (or whatever date)”  I didn’t want to put unrealistic expectations upon myself.  Even though it wouldn’t be unrealistic to say I would lose 70 pounds (or thereabouts) in 12 months, I didn’t want the pressure on myself.  I wanted to lose the weight but at the same time learn how to really live and eat healthy at the same time.  I have largely been OK with this approach.  I know how much I want to lose (initially at least, I may go lower than that previous low….I’m not cutting myself short this time.  I want to lose the WHOLE WAY!)  I have my goals but I’ve not been bothered with the ‘when’.   Until this week.  I looked at myself and I looked at this year.  I’ve been back on the bandwagon since January (actually I got myself back on track in December, but for the sake of conversation we are saying January).  I’ve lost about 35 pounds.   That is good.  I’m proud of that.  But then I started looking and I’m looked at it more clearly….that’s not quite 6 pounds each month.  I am working my arse off…I should be dropping much more rapidly.  I burn mad calories…by the book and figures I should have lost about 10 last month.  I started to let myself get swayed by the numbers and figures.  Seriously, that time frame and those numbers…..but then I had to sit back and think two things.

1.  My body will lose it at the rate that it needs to for me to be healthy.  I’m not doing a total strict deprivation style eating plan.  I’m eating healthy.  I’m allowing myself to be ‘normal’  (Not fat normal….but not anorexic normal either).  In losing this way and it is making me a stronger person.  My muscles are developing and physically I’m growing stronger.  Mentally I’m growing stronger because I’m learning to deal with the pressures and stress that go along with having a food addiction.    Weight loss is best kept from time frames.   When you start to focus on time frames it’s easy to get depressed and down about your progress.   I should be CHEERING about 35 pounds and not down because it should be more!

2.  The scales do show us progress…..and my progress is slow.  So why?  I could use excuses.  “I’m building muscle”.   Or I could say “I’m exercising too much” (which was suggested to me a while back…ha ha ha) I could even say that “it’s my age”   But those are excuses.  They play a factor but it’s not the reason I’m not losing weight.  So looking at things objectively, I’m not losing weight for a reason.  I struggled on vacation, but still managed to hold it to a very small gain.  I pulled it together enough to recoup my gain and then I’ve been sitting relatively still on the scales.  So what’s happening?   The answer is plain and simple….I’m pushing the boundaries with my eating. Seriously, I'm eating my correct calories. The problem is that I’m eating way too many carbohydrates. Really…..for me to lose I can have bread (and yes, I eat whole grains), potatoes, rice, and pasta.  But I can only have those things on a limited basis.  One of them ONCE a day is my limit.   If I cut back, I do better.  I love my carbs so this is difficult for me and I can look back and see those things creeping back into my life.

 So no excuses allowed.  I don’t care that I am 40 years old.  I don’t care that I am building muscle.  I don’t give a rats ass about any of that.  I will be cleaning up my eating.  Carbs need to be cut back and fruit and veggie consumption ramped up again.  This is my life and I’m taking control

Emotional eating…seriously?  How many times to I have to talk about emotional eating (and emotionally charged decisions about my health)?  Can’t I just get past this emotional eating stuff?  I want to be miraculously healed and never have to face it again.

Desi

So here we are.  Monday night at Zumba something clicked and I started to obsess about money…or rather our lack of money.  I was a hot sweaty mess…emotionally and physically when I left.  I got home and walked into the house and mentioned my stress, fears and worries to my husband, mentioning the need of new tires for my car, the property taxes that will coming out in the next week or two and one or other two big ticket items that HAVE to be attended to SOON.    My husband in his typical narcissist fashion alleviated my fears and worries so well (note the sarcasm). He decided that would be a good time to tell me that the mower was broke (again), he needed drum heads before the band that will be using the studio set in an upcoming session, ohh, Desi needed to go to the vet because he had this weird black lump that was looking really bad,and while we are talking about Dr.'s maybe he should go also for a weird pain he had,  his cell phone is acting weird and may be broke (it is...but I can't imagine we didn't pay for the warranty/replacement plan) and ohhh don’t forget that the AC guy is coming tomorrow (well today now that I'm writing this).   Yeah, kick me while I’m down…..thanks honey.    Stress levels and the emotions rose.  (as a side note...the relay has been replaced on our AC...we will be billed...but along with the bill will be an estimate for our blower that is bad..., Desi had an infected cyst that has been drained and he's OK other than a tooth that apparently needs to be pulled.....and the Dr. visit for Todd...well, he has chicken pox.  Yes, that part amuses me....it also worries me because if he ends up missing work...well, when you are self employed no worky means no money).

I didn’t let the emotions get to me on Tuesday morning.  I got out and ran. (it was a tough run but I persevered).   By the time my work day was over, I had decided to skip zumba.  I can say that my legs still felt as if they were boat anchors and I can honestly say that I had a headache. But I’ve gone to zumba with those ‘issues’ before and I’ve lived to tell about it.  The real reason that I didn’t go was because my emotions took control of my life.  Instead I went home and polished off the rest of the homemade bread that we had on Sunday.  Yeah, four slices of bread.  Warmed up with butter melting into it’s crevices and cracks.  DELICIOUS!   As soon as I was done I felt bad about it…..and I am proud to say that I DID stop right then and there and ate nothing else.  That WAS my dinner.  So I DID stop the binge.  But I allowed my emotions to control my actions and my eating. 

I will probably always have binges.  My emotions will always call out to me.  But I WILL work to keep them as far under control as humanly possible!

There is no ifs ands or buts, I WILL win this war against my weight.   Carbs and emotions will not derail me!   They will just make me stronger!

So this afternoon, after getting home at noon, making and eating lunch.  I took Todd to the Dr. (he was dizzy..ha ha ha) and I got back to the house at 4:30.  I could have scrapped my bike ride, but no.  It was scheduled so out I went. I won't conquer this if I don't ride it.

 I actually hate riding my bike on the road I live on it's narrow. It's up and down hills the whole way and the road surface is pockmarked and HORRIBLE.  I've hated it on my trek and I hate it just as much on my litespeed.  I do it though.....a    Yes, I could throw the bike on my car and skip it...but that's wimping out and I'm NOT wimping out anymore. (granted there will be and there ARE days where I will cart my bike out and ride, but not on a regular basis).  So I pushed through it.  I always ride the southern portion of my road as a point of egress to and from my house on my bike. The northern section I have ALWAYS avoided like the plague (on my trek too)  It's even more hilly than the southern section, and probably even more narrow, if that's possible.  So today I was out there and I actually saw the intersection for the northern end of my road.  I typically just go by it and loop back into my town and enter my road from the southern end.  Today I said what they heck.   I took the road.  It really wasn't bad.  It was actually kinda fun for most of the way. It did cause my bike ride to end on incline, but oh well, I did it!  (I actually think going out that way FROM my house would be worse.....yikes...so maybe I will have to make that a challenge someday!....)   Taking that road actually cut my planned bike ride down by about 3 miles, but you know what?  I don't care.  I faced something that has scared me and I WON!  (and no, I do NOT walk up any hills, that would be unacceptable....I go slow but I pedal the whole way up the hills!)

I think there has been an athlete lurking under all my fat and she just may be trying to emerge. 

I fell apart!

Yes, I totally fell apart last night. I had made my plans for dinner and everything was carefully calculated. Well, it was all fine and good until I SMELLED the sausage I was cooking for my husband. It smelled so dang good, which initself is pretty amazing becuase I'm not a big fan of sausage. So I planned to have a bit. Well that's not all that bad becuase heck, I had enough points. BUT the extra two pieces of toast (they were weight watcher bread...so not as bad as it COULD have been) and then the extra half piece of Todd's toast......full fat version. ARRGGh. And I chased it all down with a weight watchers 1 point chocolate mousse ice cream bar thingy. Way too much. Then this morning, Todd and i were up and ready to go like an hour early. What did I do? Why I offered to make chipped beef gravy for breakfast! And the offer was accepted. I feel so bloated and yucky right now! I will say in defense of myself. I won't be eating much of a lunch. I work until noon...and we are then going to be picked up at sometime between noon and 12:15 to go get in the line up for the parade. I'll be in the parade until probably about 2:30 or so. The earliest I'll get home will be 3. Therefore a big breakfast was actually probably a good thing. I did pack a bag of cherries to nibble on at some point through my day. Todd and I usually do the parade thing and it's kinda a tradition for us to then go to the carnival the next town/burg over that same evening. It's my plan to eat before we go over there....so that I am not tempted with the yummy foods at a carnival. :-) I WILL pull it together again. ANd I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT!

Ok....healthy habit challenge. Forgot to take my multi-vitamins this morning. I will do that when I get home. Gotta remember...gotta remember...gotta remember. Vitamin, vitamin, vitamin, vitamin vitamin, vitamin. They say if you repeat something over and over, it will stick.......vitamin, vitamin, vitamin. Heck, I don't think that's working. I give up. I'll just have to hope to remember it at home! :-)

I woke up at 5:15 this morning. I laid in bed for a few...and realized taht i was awake...wide awake. I SHOULD have gotten out of bed and exercised. The thought to actualy do it did cross my mind. HOWEVER, I laid in bed and read through an old journal of mine. Not exactly conducive to my health.

WEll......maybe more conducive then I had previously mentioned. I kow that I'm struggling with some emotional eating things. I've bene a bit down lately...and I just want to eat away the issues. I intrinsically know that eating is not the solution....but it's so much easier to fall into that old comforting routine. The reason I'm going back and rereading the journals......trying to get a handle on some of these emotions and feelings that are causing me to feel down...which causes me to eat...which causes me to feel more down. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm also wondering if the stress of these emotions are not negatively affecting my weight loss efforts. They say that cortisol is a hormone that is stress related...which negatively affects a persons metabolism and all that! Just a thought.

Oh interesting. The bag pipe group that is in the parade every year is setting up right outside my window. They said that last year that they actually practised in our parking lot.....under our drive through canopy. How interesting. I'll have 'tunes' to work by! :-)

Eat eat eat our sorrows away

Well...this week has been plain and clear emotional eating. I've been a bit down....and I've eaten my fair shair of food trying to drown my sorrows....and bring up my spirits. Didn't work. Well. I was happy with the abundance of food....but did it really make my world start spinning correctly again? Nope! BUt oh wow....I had cocoa and toast...I haven't had that in AGES. I did eat half the amount that I I previously would have eaten......and I used weight watcher / high fiber-low calorie bread so that saved me some points at least. SO at lesat I did better than I would have in my 'past life'.

Hmmm..that's an interesting concept...my present life...and my past life. That is how I need to think about it. My past life is the attitude of not caring...my present life is me trying to live a more healthy balanced life. The problem...the past life really wants to encroach upon the present life so much. It's so easy to forget myself and slip back into the past life. It's always there...ready and waiting to rear it's ugly head. And the problem....the past life is strong. Once it gets a little grip on me...it's hard to shake. It's terrible.....it's all consuming...and with only one bite it's here and strong. Sometimes it is a clear and concious decision to allow the old me back to the front. However, many times it's on a subconcious level that it happens. It has happend at restaurants when I'm feeling rushed by a waitress...my mind just goes straight to the 'old comfortable standbys'. Sometimes I just eat without thinking. However there are times when I plan in my head..but something takes over and I do the exact opposite! This happened once at a restaurant. Todd and I sat talkign about the bread and how we were glad that the waitress hadn't brought bread. Well...she came and I was like, "Can we have some bread with our meal" WHAT? Where did that come from? Todd sat slack jawed. :-) It just come from somewhere...and I don't know where! So it rears it's ungly head at some of the most unexpected times.

Today, I went shopping. I guess another mis-guided attempt to 'drown my worries and sorrows" . OK, OK, OK, I only went to the mall to get my free pair of underwear from Victoria's Secret. And my $15 off an Angel Bra. BUT, I ended up spending a huge chunk of change. Granted, I got a lot of clothing and accesories for what I spent. I bought some things on sale that will be used next winter.....I got them a bit tighter for that reason. I also bought some things for this summer....since of course last years things are a bit loose on me. I got my first ever 'little black dress' I found a really cool little short capped sleeve bolero style shrug jacket thingy. I bought some high heeled black and white sandals to wear with the dress. I'll be able to wear the dress to work...but also for something more fancy should the need arise. It's pretty flexible that way. I also bought a new jean skirt. I can still wear the ones from last year. They are all too big...but they dont' look badly. That is the great thing about skirts...they seem to hold longer in the losign weight game. BUT, I bought one today ($5) that is a 12....so it is a perfect fit right now. It's a bit shorter than anything that I normally have worn. I was talking to mom...I don't know what my style is. As a 'fat' girl, I bought anything that looked decent on my body. I didn't care about style...I cared about how I looked. I dressed very carefully...trying to mask my weight. I still have to be careful because of my pouchy belly....but I'm experimenting and trying to find me. I know that I wear a heck of lot more pink now. I used to wear NO pink...now I love pink! Go figure. I noticed a difference in the shoes that I bought today. I was more wiling to put on a heeled shoe. And I got the most adorable chunky pink shoes! I would never have gone with a shoe like that! IT just wasn't me! But waht is me?????? I aim to find out!

SOoooooo maybe it was good that I Shopped a bit today. Focused me. It truely is easier to shop as a thin person. First there are more shops to chose from...but the sales seem better also for regular clothes! So now I have some clothes that I can't really even attractively wear until I lose a few more pounds! Focus focus focus!

I want so badly to get the rest of this weight off! I'm vowing here and now that I am going to work my tail end off to get that goal also! First and least important...I'm tired of paying money for weight watchers. BUT, secondly, this sitting on the fence is just wreaking havoc with my emotions. I need to either stop and be happy at this weight and work on maintaining...or I need to just do it. I KNOW I can lose weight. I KNOW...and Ithink that if I gave up and said that 185 was the weight that I was goign to be happy with...would eventually make me feel like a failure...I'm not there yet. I want to get there. And quite honestly, 185 may end up being the weight that my body is the healthiest at. But I have to go lower to make sure! I know that I still have fat on my body...so I seriously doubt aht 185 is the weight for me. BUT, I'm not adverse to dropping down really low...and then having to gain a few pounds back to my optimum weight. But I have to find out for myself what is my optimum weight.

In essence, I guess I have to finish this...so I don't feel like a failure. Even though I've lost 125 pounds..and that's considered a HUGE success for anyone...I still haven't finished what I started. And as I've quoted before.....actually Bob Harper...and I'll paraphrase...." WHy start something you are not goign to finish" :-)