Last night I was lounging around playing on the laptop while my husband played a video game. I was nosing around on Facebook, looking for old friends. All of a sudden I saw something that made me super excited. On the left of my screen was the option to become a fan of Krumpe's Donuts! Ohhhh my word. Krumpe's is something that was always synonymous with Hagerstown while growing up. We would come back to visit family (when we no longer lived in the area) and we would have a short list of places to go to and things to do. One of them was Krumpe's Donuts! They are a little locally owned shop (located in an alley) in Hagerstown. They open up sometime in the later part of the evening (8 maybe) and they sell their donuts hot out of the fryers. (You can also get them at some local stores in the H-town area). There is nothing better than a not donut straight from the fryer.
I haven't had a krumpe donut in AGES! It would have to be probably more than 3 years. Definitely not since I got serious about losing weight!
As I exulted about the fact that I was a fan of krumpe's donuts my husband just looked over at me with a confused look on his face. He asked why I was so excited, we don't get them anymore....it's a thing of the past. And it made me start to think. Deep down, the past is still there. Ohhh I can say I'm a changed girl. But deep down, those old tendencies are still deeply embedded.
So am I still a fan of Krumpe's Donuts on facebook? Absolutely! (and if I can be a fan of some of the other locally owned food places that hold special memories for me, I'll join them also) Is it going to make me run out to get a donut? Absolutely NOT! I'm going to keep it there as a memory.....and honestly a testament to the 300+ pound girl that I used to be. (OK, and I like to support locally owned businesses.....)
*******
Yesterday I was able to stay away from mindless eating (binging) in the evening. Tonight will be the real test as my husband will be at the studio from about 6:30 until 11 or 12. I'll be home by myself......and ohhh it's so much easier to binge eat when no-one is there to catch you!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Enough is enough!
I haven't weighed myself in a couple days. I probably shouldn't have weighed myself today in the midst of the raging TOM...but I did. 200.6 That's about 2 pounds up from the other day...YIKES!
It is just a matter of getting my eating in line and STOPPING the mindless binging and eating! When my points are gone, I'm done...plain and simple!
Exercise, on the other hand is going splendidly!
It is just a matter of getting my eating in line and STOPPING the mindless binging and eating! When my points are gone, I'm done...plain and simple!
Exercise, on the other hand is going splendidly!
Monday, January 26, 2009
A day slightly off track
Yesterday, I went with my parents to Johnstown, PA for the day. Dad was preaching (filling in for a preacher that was out of town) at a church there. (I would recommend this church to anyone...quite impressed! You want to know which one....just ask!) Anyway, I rode along with them. You see, we used to live in Johnstown about 25-30 years ago and while I've been back here and there throughout the years (the most recent time about 10 years ago), it was fun to go back. It was a day of reminiscing with my parents. We would drive by one place and that would spark a memory or a story or just laughter and love. Unfortunately, my husband was not able to go with use (he's been wanting to go to see it, as it has come up in our conversations over the years) but he was at the business (a recording studio) working on the water issues (he thinks he may have it fixed....he's running up to town to buy a part that SHOULD put an end to the water woes!). Anyway, I digress. I woke up well before dawn, got dressed and headed to my parents house. We hopped in their car and we were off. It is a two hour trip from my parents (and I live about a half hour from them). SOOOOO I was in the car pretty much all day as we drove there, drove all around town and drove home. (OK, I wasn't in the car during church or when we would stop somewhere).
Soooo I ate out all day........no real exercise......water consumption non-existent. But I still had a fun filled day! Well worth a momentary blip on the weight loss radar.
A few things hit me. When we moved from Johnstown I was about 12. I was still considered petite and dainty. It wasn't until the year following our move that i really started to pack on the pounds and 'balloon' up. Yet, as I remembered bits and pieces from my childhood I realized how many memories were tied to food. Not everything...but as I got older, the memories somehow became linked with a food, or an eating experience, or whatnot! While I had no problems with my weight at that point, I was starting to build and develop in the direction of someone that would eventually have a serious problem with a food addiction. On that same note, I also realized exactly how active I was as a child. I looked at hills that I ran up and down.....places I rode to on my bike, etc etc etc. The activity kept me from being an overweight child! (which makes sense...because when we moved to FL, that level of activity fell away and I packed on the pounds.)
The other thing that hit me rather hard. We stopped at the local hospital while in Johnstown to visit a friend of my parents. She had a stroke about a week ago. It has wiped clean her memories. Long term AND short term. Her husband said that she had struggled with some problems that are precursors to a stroke.....high blood pressure, diabetes, etc etc etc . BUT, she was on medications to control them....and the meds had seemed to be doing the trick. He also went on to say that the doctors were basically telling him it was a waiting game until another stroke hit her. Now, I don't know if you picked up on the precursors.......high blood pressure, diabetes, all weight related illnesses for the most part. (Yes, there are some people that have these issues without the weight...but many people have it because of weight, diet and lifestyle...and yes, she was overweight) I really got serious about this journey a few years ago because I saw my mother struggling to get those same issues under control and I knew that if I didn't change something, I would be the same way! I can't do anything for my mother. As much as I want to and as much as I worry about her, this is something that she has to do for herself. But I CAN change myself! So yesterday seeing it right there in my face really hit home! I can sit on the fence and not finish this change that I started or I can continue on. If I do not continue...where will it lead me.
I can tell you where it will lead.......not continuing will lead me to a hospital room like I visited yesterday. It will lead to my eventual death. A death that will come about sooner and with many more health issues if I don't take care of myself.
Soooo I ate out all day........no real exercise......water consumption non-existent. But I still had a fun filled day! Well worth a momentary blip on the weight loss radar.
A few things hit me. When we moved from Johnstown I was about 12. I was still considered petite and dainty. It wasn't until the year following our move that i really started to pack on the pounds and 'balloon' up. Yet, as I remembered bits and pieces from my childhood I realized how many memories were tied to food. Not everything...but as I got older, the memories somehow became linked with a food, or an eating experience, or whatnot! While I had no problems with my weight at that point, I was starting to build and develop in the direction of someone that would eventually have a serious problem with a food addiction. On that same note, I also realized exactly how active I was as a child. I looked at hills that I ran up and down.....places I rode to on my bike, etc etc etc. The activity kept me from being an overweight child! (which makes sense...because when we moved to FL, that level of activity fell away and I packed on the pounds.)
The other thing that hit me rather hard. We stopped at the local hospital while in Johnstown to visit a friend of my parents. She had a stroke about a week ago. It has wiped clean her memories. Long term AND short term. Her husband said that she had struggled with some problems that are precursors to a stroke.....high blood pressure, diabetes, etc etc etc . BUT, she was on medications to control them....and the meds had seemed to be doing the trick. He also went on to say that the doctors were basically telling him it was a waiting game until another stroke hit her. Now, I don't know if you picked up on the precursors.......high blood pressure, diabetes, all weight related illnesses for the most part. (Yes, there are some people that have these issues without the weight...but many people have it because of weight, diet and lifestyle...and yes, she was overweight) I really got serious about this journey a few years ago because I saw my mother struggling to get those same issues under control and I knew that if I didn't change something, I would be the same way! I can't do anything for my mother. As much as I want to and as much as I worry about her, this is something that she has to do for herself. But I CAN change myself! So yesterday seeing it right there in my face really hit home! I can sit on the fence and not finish this change that I started or I can continue on. If I do not continue...where will it lead me.
I can tell you where it will lead.......not continuing will lead me to a hospital room like I visited yesterday. It will lead to my eventual death. A death that will come about sooner and with many more health issues if I don't take care of myself.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
self loathing
Well, I'm torn between laughter and utter despair. I just can't seem to get it together. I do think that last night was a bit of stress eating. I'm stressed about some things right now. (One of the major issues....we are having a problem with water at the studio....as in it's not working. Uhhh this is NOT good.) But then I also had the issue of I had the idea of some foods in my head, and I just didn't relax until I had eaten those foods!
Let me explain. On the way home from work last night I was running through in my head what I could eat for dinner. I thought of a few things..they all sounded soooo good. But I eventually chose one! (but still lusted after the unpicked options). I ate, and settled down for the evening. My husband called from the studio and we talked a bit about the water issue. I ate a WW chocolate chip cookie. (1 point) He called again. I ate three wedges of laughing cow cheese and some low fat wheat thins. (5 points) He called again and we decided to run to town to grab a part that we thought would fix the problem. While I was waiting for him to pick me up I had two bowls of cold cereal. Notice I didn't say I had one serving...or two servings. I had two BOWLS of cereal! (who knows how many points!) Now here is the part of the issue....these foods were all on the list of options for me to eat for dinner that I had discarded when I made my choice. But they weren't really discarded from my head! Plus I do believe some of it was stress.
So after I ate, I sat in the car filled with self loathing and disgust because I KNOW better! Later I actually started laughing (for a hot second) because for a binge, at least I didn't go straight for the donuts, or the regular cookies, or ice cream. I still ate somewhat healthy.
Let me explain. On the way home from work last night I was running through in my head what I could eat for dinner. I thought of a few things..they all sounded soooo good. But I eventually chose one! (but still lusted after the unpicked options). I ate, and settled down for the evening. My husband called from the studio and we talked a bit about the water issue. I ate a WW chocolate chip cookie. (1 point) He called again. I ate three wedges of laughing cow cheese and some low fat wheat thins. (5 points) He called again and we decided to run to town to grab a part that we thought would fix the problem. While I was waiting for him to pick me up I had two bowls of cold cereal. Notice I didn't say I had one serving...or two servings. I had two BOWLS of cereal! (who knows how many points!) Now here is the part of the issue....these foods were all on the list of options for me to eat for dinner that I had discarded when I made my choice. But they weren't really discarded from my head! Plus I do believe some of it was stress.
So after I ate, I sat in the car filled with self loathing and disgust because I KNOW better! Later I actually started laughing (for a hot second) because for a binge, at least I didn't go straight for the donuts, or the regular cookies, or ice cream. I still ate somewhat healthy.
Friday, January 23, 2009
I'm sitting here with a blank screen in front of me, wondering what to write about today. Most days when I log on to write, I have in my head something to write about...something that is just crying to get out of my head. Today, I've got a whole bunch just swirling around. Lots of fragments but nothing to really put down into one cohesive paragraph.
I guess I can start by saying that looking at my frustration objectively, it's a good thing. If I binged and didn't care it would mean that I am not at all bothered by the end result and reaching my goals any longer. So I guess my frustration and disgust in myself is a good thing because it shows me that deep down, I really do want to continue on and persevere to reach my goal.
A friend (thanks Lynn) recently bought and read the book DietGirl. She sent it to me. I started reading it this morning. I'm very early into my reading and there are aspects that I can not identify with at all such as, her mother and others contributing to her negative self image at a very young age. A self image that the author perpetuated into real life. BUT, the emotions and experiences of being a very large girl. The feelings as she started to lose weight. The guarded optimism. Those I readily identify with. Maybe this book will be good for me, if only to really remind me from whence I have come!
Sitting this morning eating breakfast with my husband, I got to thinking about something. I made pancakes, turkey bacon and we had strawberries with it. I actually made LESS pancake batter (thus pancakes) then I normally have in the past. My husband usually gets halfway or 3/4 of the way through and pushes his plate away...."I'm stuff" he says. Me, I lick my plate clean. So I got to thinking while eating this morning. I made less food...would he still push away his plate and claim that he was 'full'. I already cut the portion size down. In comparison to what he normally eats, the reduced portion should have been perfect (if not a bit small). Sure enough, with pancake still left on his plate he was done! Now this is not a once in a blue moon occurance. He almost always leaves something on his plate. Not always ...but almost always. Is he doing this as a way of mastering his desires to overeat. Basically by leaving food is he mocking his overeating tendencies???? Or does he really feel full and stop??
Me, they say that in time you will be able to listen to your body and it will tell you when you are full. I've listened. I've listened now for YEARS and I can't hear! I've done some research and there are researchers/doctors out there that say that some people are lacking the genes, and thereby the propor hormones that tell the mind/body when it is full. Reading about this, I do fit in the category! I've looked into this idea, about a year ago. I wrote about it here and here.
Today a friend sent me a link to a article. This also fits me to a tee! I see food and I respond. It could be that I just ate and I'm cleaning up from dinner.....I see the bread and I want it!
Which is it??? Do they all go hand in hand? Knowing isn't going to solve my problems...but mabye undersanding would make it easier!
I guess I can start by saying that looking at my frustration objectively, it's a good thing. If I binged and didn't care it would mean that I am not at all bothered by the end result and reaching my goals any longer. So I guess my frustration and disgust in myself is a good thing because it shows me that deep down, I really do want to continue on and persevere to reach my goal.
A friend (thanks Lynn) recently bought and read the book DietGirl. She sent it to me. I started reading it this morning. I'm very early into my reading and there are aspects that I can not identify with at all such as, her mother and others contributing to her negative self image at a very young age. A self image that the author perpetuated into real life. BUT, the emotions and experiences of being a very large girl. The feelings as she started to lose weight. The guarded optimism. Those I readily identify with. Maybe this book will be good for me, if only to really remind me from whence I have come!
Sitting this morning eating breakfast with my husband, I got to thinking about something. I made pancakes, turkey bacon and we had strawberries with it. I actually made LESS pancake batter (thus pancakes) then I normally have in the past. My husband usually gets halfway or 3/4 of the way through and pushes his plate away...."I'm stuff" he says. Me, I lick my plate clean. So I got to thinking while eating this morning. I made less food...would he still push away his plate and claim that he was 'full'. I already cut the portion size down. In comparison to what he normally eats, the reduced portion should have been perfect (if not a bit small). Sure enough, with pancake still left on his plate he was done! Now this is not a once in a blue moon occurance. He almost always leaves something on his plate. Not always ...but almost always. Is he doing this as a way of mastering his desires to overeat. Basically by leaving food is he mocking his overeating tendencies???? Or does he really feel full and stop??
Me, they say that in time you will be able to listen to your body and it will tell you when you are full. I've listened. I've listened now for YEARS and I can't hear! I've done some research and there are researchers/doctors out there that say that some people are lacking the genes, and thereby the propor hormones that tell the mind/body when it is full. Reading about this, I do fit in the category! I've looked into this idea, about a year ago. I wrote about it here and here.
Today a friend sent me a link to a article. This also fits me to a tee! I see food and I respond. It could be that I just ate and I'm cleaning up from dinner.....I see the bread and I want it!
Which is it??? Do they all go hand in hand? Knowing isn't going to solve my problems...but mabye undersanding would make it easier!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
can you say frustration?
It's hard not to be frustrated! Frustrated at the lack of progress on the scales. Frustrated at the small gain I saw on the scales this morning. Frustrated at my motivation. Frustrated at my efforts!
Yes, I'm frustrated. I guess for the most part I'm frustrated at myself. I'm frustrated because I'm fiddling away my chance to lose weight (on a daily basis...definitely not in the grand scheme of things...that opportunity will never be lost). Yesterday I was doing fairly well. I had breakfast...right on target with what I had set for the day. We left the house and I hit up the gym. All was going well! After the gym, Todd and I stopped off and got a sandwich and spilt a side of potato salad. Still not toooo bad. I had planned for it and I was OK. I was a bit upset with myself because I wanted to take some grapes and a Clementine to eat with my lunch, but I had forgotten it. No problem...still on track! We ran some errands (Walmart, Target, and the mall)....lots of walking. And mid afternoon we met up with a friend to tour and old power plant. That is where things started going awry. The friend that we were meeting got held up was late so we didn't get started there until a bit later than expected. It was VERY cool and well worth the wait! But as I said we got done there later. So we stopped off at Cracker Barrel on the way home for dinner. I was still doing Really well. I ordered veggie platter. So I was doing fine....yeah, their veggies have more fat on them, but it was better than the other options. Anyway, I was doing really good UNTIL the waitress set down that pesky biscuit and cornbread muffin in front of me. I immediately felt a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. Yes, I ate 'em. I ate them both! OK, all was not lost.....I was still probably within my points. It was OK. But then I got home. I was putting stuff away and noticed the container that was holding the homemade bread. Before I knew it I was having a slice of it. Followed by a devils food (healthy choice) cookie. Ohhh and if that wasn't enough, I had a snack bar! I ate those things less than 30 minutes after getting home from the restaurant!!! Why? Why do I do this to myself?
According to fit day, I still burned more calories than I ate. But my weight is still up. I was over in my weight watchers points. (Yes, I'm still keeping track of both counting systems for a bit...just to see where I am...and maybe figure out where I need to be).
The other day I finally admitted to myself.......yes, I am a binge eater! Someone mentioned it a few months back "ohhh so you binge eat" (it was the trainer at the gym). I was shocked and denied it till I was practically blue in the face. But I guess it's time to strip myself bare and admit it....I am a total binge eater!
Yes, I'm frustrated. I guess for the most part I'm frustrated at myself. I'm frustrated because I'm fiddling away my chance to lose weight (on a daily basis...definitely not in the grand scheme of things...that opportunity will never be lost). Yesterday I was doing fairly well. I had breakfast...right on target with what I had set for the day. We left the house and I hit up the gym. All was going well! After the gym, Todd and I stopped off and got a sandwich and spilt a side of potato salad. Still not toooo bad. I had planned for it and I was OK. I was a bit upset with myself because I wanted to take some grapes and a Clementine to eat with my lunch, but I had forgotten it. No problem...still on track! We ran some errands (Walmart, Target, and the mall)....lots of walking. And mid afternoon we met up with a friend to tour and old power plant. That is where things started going awry. The friend that we were meeting got held up was late so we didn't get started there until a bit later than expected. It was VERY cool and well worth the wait! But as I said we got done there later. So we stopped off at Cracker Barrel on the way home for dinner. I was still doing Really well. I ordered veggie platter. So I was doing fine....yeah, their veggies have more fat on them, but it was better than the other options. Anyway, I was doing really good UNTIL the waitress set down that pesky biscuit and cornbread muffin in front of me. I immediately felt a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. Yes, I ate 'em. I ate them both! OK, all was not lost.....I was still probably within my points. It was OK. But then I got home. I was putting stuff away and noticed the container that was holding the homemade bread. Before I knew it I was having a slice of it. Followed by a devils food (healthy choice) cookie. Ohhh and if that wasn't enough, I had a snack bar! I ate those things less than 30 minutes after getting home from the restaurant!!! Why? Why do I do this to myself?
According to fit day, I still burned more calories than I ate. But my weight is still up. I was over in my weight watchers points. (Yes, I'm still keeping track of both counting systems for a bit...just to see where I am...and maybe figure out where I need to be).
The other day I finally admitted to myself.......yes, I am a binge eater! Someone mentioned it a few months back "ohhh so you binge eat" (it was the trainer at the gym). I was shocked and denied it till I was practically blue in the face. But I guess it's time to strip myself bare and admit it....I am a total binge eater!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Check it out!
If you don't already follow Merry Mary's blog, then I highly recommend that you read this post! It hit me right between the eyes. It's about sabatauging our weight loss efforts....and who is to blame!
reflections
Not doing too badly....not doing too good either. My eating, while not out of control has not been exactly where it should be. I ate WAY too many carbs yesterday. Yesterday started when I was organizing the spice cabinet. I saw some spices for dipping oil. Hmmmmm dipping oil. YUMMY. That sounds absolutely delightful! SOOOO I immediately, without second thought, started to whip up a batch of homemade bread. Well, the dinner that I had planned really wouldn't have worked the greatest with homemade bread (it was a casserole that had bread in it......) so I just switched up and threw some spagetti sauce together and had that simmering away on the stove. It was a scrumptious meal just a little bit too many carbs. :-)
Exercise and activity wise, I'm going strong!
Yesterday I once again sat back at the end of the day and really thought about how far I've come. Was a day, not to long ago that a day of activity would have caused me to drop in utter exhuastion. Yesterday I woke up and I was on the go from moment one until the evening. I did laundry, I moved stuff, I baked, I cooked, I cleaned, I shovelled snow, I assisted my husband as he worked on some plumbing at the studio (running up and down the stairs more than 20 times), I also formally exercised for 80 minutes. I was not dropping from exhaustion. It was a normal day. I reflected that at one point, shovelling snow for 10 minutes was enough to cause me to drop on the couch for a long 'much deserved' break. What a difference!
I also spent some time reflecting on my current weight. Yes, I know that I can get to 180 pounds....I was there....I maintained that for over a year. I REALLY want to get back there (180 is my doctor approved weight...so when I get to 180, I'm back to lifetime at weight watchers...I won't have to pay). But I'm not going to worry about it. I can't get all stressed out and upset about the fact that the scales are just not moving. I know that I'm living a healthy lifestyle right now and that is what is important!
Exercise and activity wise, I'm going strong!
Yesterday I once again sat back at the end of the day and really thought about how far I've come. Was a day, not to long ago that a day of activity would have caused me to drop in utter exhuastion. Yesterday I woke up and I was on the go from moment one until the evening. I did laundry, I moved stuff, I baked, I cooked, I cleaned, I shovelled snow, I assisted my husband as he worked on some plumbing at the studio (running up and down the stairs more than 20 times), I also formally exercised for 80 minutes. I was not dropping from exhaustion. It was a normal day. I reflected that at one point, shovelling snow for 10 minutes was enough to cause me to drop on the couch for a long 'much deserved' break. What a difference!
I also spent some time reflecting on my current weight. Yes, I know that I can get to 180 pounds....I was there....I maintained that for over a year. I REALLY want to get back there (180 is my doctor approved weight...so when I get to 180, I'm back to lifetime at weight watchers...I won't have to pay). But I'm not going to worry about it. I can't get all stressed out and upset about the fact that the scales are just not moving. I know that I'm living a healthy lifestyle right now and that is what is important!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
What's a girl to do?
This morning, I woke up early and ditched out on the exercise. I figured that I have all afternoon and evening...I can exercise then. Boy am I glad that I made that decision. YOu see, right about the time that I would have been finished my workout...all sweaty and icky and heading for the shower to get ready to go to work....the power went out. We live in the country without electricity, the pump doesn't run to draw water from the well! So not only was it dark...it was also cold...and I had no water! I'm here at work...my hair is...well......not exactly pretty looking. I did bring my toothbrush with me so that I could brush my teeth. (it's amazing that if your teeth are clean you feel somewhat human).
Breakfast in such conditions..... why we didn't have much of a choice. You see, we live in a dinky little town. Our choices to eat are Benders Bar. Petes Tavern....both of which obviously not the choice for breakfast as they are closed at that time in the morning. Lets see we have an ice cream shop...doesn't open until 1PM (ice cream for breakfast DOES sound good though..tee hee hee). We have one gas station....but on the weekends they do not have breakfast sandwiches....only on week days. And a little local convience store place....greasy food grill place. Woo hoooo! Time was of the essence as I did have to be at work by 7:30-7:45. Convience store greasy food here I come. My choices.......well...I could have had a bacon egg cheese.....chipped beef gravy.....sausage gravy.....my health food abounded. I looked and they did have bananas....but they were very spotted and quite brown...NOPE. SOOOOOO I didn't eat as healthy as I should have....but I really had no choice. Kind of difficult to have breakfast with no water...no way to heat it....no way to make coffee....no nothing. Yeah, I could have had cold cereal...except...I don't like cold cereal...PLUS cold cereal leaves me hungry the rest of the morning.
I don't know what the plans for the rest of the day hold. Todd and I may be going out to lunch. (that depends on the electricity issue of course). I hope to pick up my bike from the shop (it's done). While we are in town, we want to run to Target. And mom and dad called last night and we may hook up with them for dinner. If the power is still out...we'll be packing up the kitties and carting them to my parents house. :-) There may be a gym visit in there somewhere also. :-)
Breakfast in such conditions..... why we didn't have much of a choice. You see, we live in a dinky little town. Our choices to eat are Benders Bar. Petes Tavern....both of which obviously not the choice for breakfast as they are closed at that time in the morning. Lets see we have an ice cream shop...doesn't open until 1PM (ice cream for breakfast DOES sound good though..tee hee hee). We have one gas station....but on the weekends they do not have breakfast sandwiches....only on week days. And a little local convience store place....greasy food grill place. Woo hoooo! Time was of the essence as I did have to be at work by 7:30-7:45. Convience store greasy food here I come. My choices.......well...I could have had a bacon egg cheese.....chipped beef gravy.....sausage gravy.....my health food abounded. I looked and they did have bananas....but they were very spotted and quite brown...NOPE. SOOOOOO I didn't eat as healthy as I should have....but I really had no choice. Kind of difficult to have breakfast with no water...no way to heat it....no way to make coffee....no nothing. Yeah, I could have had cold cereal...except...I don't like cold cereal...PLUS cold cereal leaves me hungry the rest of the morning.
I don't know what the plans for the rest of the day hold. Todd and I may be going out to lunch. (that depends on the electricity issue of course). I hope to pick up my bike from the shop (it's done). While we are in town, we want to run to Target. And mom and dad called last night and we may hook up with them for dinner. If the power is still out...we'll be packing up the kitties and carting them to my parents house. :-) There may be a gym visit in there somewhere also. :-)
Friday, January 16, 2009
Fingers on the bar and pondering some thoughts
Dang but it's cold! I guess I shouldn't complain though...I'm reading and talking to friends who are in places that are a tad bit colder than here. My problem. I'm working the drive through window...and it's just DRAFTY. Every time I send out the bucket I get a huge draft of cold air. My fingers are FROZEN! The counter heater is on...and there is a metal bar inset into the desk (don't ask my why...or what...but it's there) and it is toasty warm...so I'm sitting with my fingers curled up on this little metal strip!
I'm going to get the basics out of the way and then write about what I'm thinking about.
*got to the gym today. Exercised for an hour...then came home and cleaned the house before going to work.
*Staying within my points....and also tracking calories...just to see what's happening.
*My weight was at 197.0 this morning. The lowest it has been in over a month!
Last night I watched a movie. Well, actually it was a documentary, called Thin. It was about a group of women that were in a rehab center for eating disorders. I watched it because I'm curious. Curious because these are women that struggle with a totally different side of an eating problem. Something that I can not fathom. But I felt compelled to watch and learn about it.
Now, my husband at one point told me that he was afraid that I would lose weight and not know where to stop and just keep losing weight. I admit, I can get REALLY involved in this weight loss process...but I've always assured him that I have no desire to be a string bean. I want to be healthy.
But regardless, I wanted to watch this documentary. Food Addiction is a disease and while it is seemingly total opposite of an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia, I wanted to watch and learn.
As I watched this documentary, I was shocked at the efforts these girls/ladies were and are willing to take. But underlying it all, I was sitting there thinking. Oh my word. These ladies are battling the some of the same feelings and thoughts that I have. They are just taking their efforts to reach the epitome that they desire, the extreme. It was quite sobering.
One lady talked about how she would start to eat and just lose control of what and how much she was eating. Sound familiar????
In some of the scenes they showed them talking about why and what started their problems. At least two of the girls talked about how in their childhood they were told that they were fat. In one case by a doctor. In another by a mother who put their child on a strict diet and exercise regime at age 5.
But the biggest thing that I took away is that these 70 pound women honestly believed that they were fat. The one 80-90 pound young girl (aged 15) was crying because she was getting a double chin....and when she left the rehab center her goal was to lose 40 pounds. She honestly thought that she needed to do that in order to fit in with the other skinny people. Their mental image of themselves is that warped.
On therapist had a patient draw a life sized drawing of herself. THEN she had the patient stand in front of the drawing and she traced the girls body....to show how different the perception and the true body was.
Now, as I said earlier...I am in no way at risk for this extremist type of behavior. I am losing to be healthy! Healthy these girls were not! But it did make me ponder a few things about myself.
The biggest.....how is my perception of my body? I know that when I was big, I had the opposite, I didn't think I was as big as I am. But now that I've lost weight, that perception has changed. I just can't believe and grasp the fact that I'm no longer morbidly obese. I STILL pull a shirt out of the closet and hold it up thinking, "there is no way that this shirt will fit me". In essence, I have a warped sense of reality also. The question is....how does one go about actually grasping and understanding that those perceptions are incorrect. For me I think a good deal is just the fact that for so many years I had to do things certain ways that I get used to it.... stuff like, standing on tip-toe to squeeze through a turnstile...I still find myself doing it....even though I can go straight through with no problem.....panicking at a restaurant when they put us in a booth...because that means I'll be crunched up with no room to move. Those sorts of things.
I guess it just takes time!
I'm going to get the basics out of the way and then write about what I'm thinking about.
*got to the gym today. Exercised for an hour...then came home and cleaned the house before going to work.
*Staying within my points....and also tracking calories...just to see what's happening.
*My weight was at 197.0 this morning. The lowest it has been in over a month!
Last night I watched a movie. Well, actually it was a documentary, called Thin. It was about a group of women that were in a rehab center for eating disorders. I watched it because I'm curious. Curious because these are women that struggle with a totally different side of an eating problem. Something that I can not fathom. But I felt compelled to watch and learn about it.
Now, my husband at one point told me that he was afraid that I would lose weight and not know where to stop and just keep losing weight. I admit, I can get REALLY involved in this weight loss process...but I've always assured him that I have no desire to be a string bean. I want to be healthy.
But regardless, I wanted to watch this documentary. Food Addiction is a disease and while it is seemingly total opposite of an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia, I wanted to watch and learn.
As I watched this documentary, I was shocked at the efforts these girls/ladies were and are willing to take. But underlying it all, I was sitting there thinking. Oh my word. These ladies are battling the some of the same feelings and thoughts that I have. They are just taking their efforts to reach the epitome that they desire, the extreme. It was quite sobering.
One lady talked about how she would start to eat and just lose control of what and how much she was eating. Sound familiar????
In some of the scenes they showed them talking about why and what started their problems. At least two of the girls talked about how in their childhood they were told that they were fat. In one case by a doctor. In another by a mother who put their child on a strict diet and exercise regime at age 5.
But the biggest thing that I took away is that these 70 pound women honestly believed that they were fat. The one 80-90 pound young girl (aged 15) was crying because she was getting a double chin....and when she left the rehab center her goal was to lose 40 pounds. She honestly thought that she needed to do that in order to fit in with the other skinny people. Their mental image of themselves is that warped.
On therapist had a patient draw a life sized drawing of herself. THEN she had the patient stand in front of the drawing and she traced the girls body....to show how different the perception and the true body was.
Now, as I said earlier...I am in no way at risk for this extremist type of behavior. I am losing to be healthy! Healthy these girls were not! But it did make me ponder a few things about myself.
The biggest.....how is my perception of my body? I know that when I was big, I had the opposite, I didn't think I was as big as I am. But now that I've lost weight, that perception has changed. I just can't believe and grasp the fact that I'm no longer morbidly obese. I STILL pull a shirt out of the closet and hold it up thinking, "there is no way that this shirt will fit me". In essence, I have a warped sense of reality also. The question is....how does one go about actually grasping and understanding that those perceptions are incorrect. For me I think a good deal is just the fact that for so many years I had to do things certain ways that I get used to it.... stuff like, standing on tip-toe to squeeze through a turnstile...I still find myself doing it....even though I can go straight through with no problem.....panicking at a restaurant when they put us in a booth...because that means I'll be crunched up with no room to move. Those sorts of things.
I guess it just takes time!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Is it possible?
You know...I was thinking when I was watching The Biggest Loser this week. What kind of contestant would I be? I know that I would not have been tempted to take the money and run (in reference to this last weeks challenge). BUT....would I be a contestant that would whine and cry about everything that the trainer would make me do? Would I balk like that? Or would I be a contestant that if the trainer said jump 2 feet in the air, I would go 3 feet...just to get the most out of it? I'd like to say that I would be the over achiever.....and I may be....beacuse I don't like to lose. But honestly I'm not sure. But it is food for thought. :-)
If I continue on that line of thought, it makes me wonder how much more 'umph' do I have inside me. It always seems as if the trainers are squeezing out energy and work out of the the contestants that the contestants think is not there. How much harder could I push myself during my workouts? How does one push themselves past that comfort zone and into the next realm? Is it even possible????
Well, yesterday Todd and I were planning on goign to the gym while we were in town to run our errends. Life happened and we didn't make it to the gym. Did I let that interrupt my workout? NOPE! I came home and IMMEDIATELY (before I even put anything away from our shopping in town) I exercised. I did another step aerobic workout and I rode the exercise bike for 45 minutes. SO 1 hour and 15 minutes total.
Ohhh and I SOOO lied the other day when i said that I wasn't at all sore from my first day back doing step aerobics. Ohhhh yeah, yesterday morning I woke up sore sore sore! Yes, as you just read, I did the same routine anyway...eventually the muscles will relax and not hurt! Yep, still sore today...and yep, I'll be working out when I get off of work at 3PM.
My weight. Frustrating...it's not going down. I'm eating right and I've upped my exercise level (not just in how many days....but in intensity)....so I know that in time it will come off....patience is the key!
If I continue on that line of thought, it makes me wonder how much more 'umph' do I have inside me. It always seems as if the trainers are squeezing out energy and work out of the the contestants that the contestants think is not there. How much harder could I push myself during my workouts? How does one push themselves past that comfort zone and into the next realm? Is it even possible????
Well, yesterday Todd and I were planning on goign to the gym while we were in town to run our errends. Life happened and we didn't make it to the gym. Did I let that interrupt my workout? NOPE! I came home and IMMEDIATELY (before I even put anything away from our shopping in town) I exercised. I did another step aerobic workout and I rode the exercise bike for 45 minutes. SO 1 hour and 15 minutes total.
Ohhh and I SOOO lied the other day when i said that I wasn't at all sore from my first day back doing step aerobics. Ohhhh yeah, yesterday morning I woke up sore sore sore! Yes, as you just read, I did the same routine anyway...eventually the muscles will relax and not hurt! Yep, still sore today...and yep, I'll be working out when I get off of work at 3PM.
My weight. Frustrating...it's not going down. I'm eating right and I've upped my exercise level (not just in how many days....but in intensity)....so I know that in time it will come off....patience is the key!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Got up early this morning. Much earlier than I needed to be up in order to get to work at 9AM. Why? Well, I had some exercising to do. I rode the exercise bike for 30 minutes and then I pulled out the step and did 30 minutes of step aerobics. I haven't done step aerobics in ages. I was surprised. I thought I would struggle a bit more than I did. Tis all good. 1 hour down!
I'm a bit bothered today. Well, not bothered but just disturbed. I have a family member (through marriage) that is planning on having gastric bypass this year. I know, from talking to friends that have had this procedure done that they went through intense counselling and diet work in preparation. This family member has had NOTHING. They are just doing the surgery...pushing this person through. I wonder at how this person will handle the major change in their life that this surgery is going to bring. And I don't mean the obvious of now they are thin. I mean the changes in emotions. The changes in their eating. Let me also say that this person is not one of these 500 pound people. They are probably low to mid 200's. If you have to change your diet anyway due to the surgery...why not just do it naturally.
Ok...that said...that is NOT what disturbs me. Yeah, I don't agree with the quick fix surgery....what bothers me is that this person has a child. I wouldn't categorize the child as fat...but the child is ....well. Some of the words to describe this child would be sturdy and stocky. NOT good words for a girl. This girl is well on her way to having a weight problem. I can see the path that she is on and it breaks my heart. And then to hear that her parent is setting an example of getting the surgery....I'm just blown away. (as a side note, a while back this parent was trying to diet and eat healthy......great opportunity to feed your children healthy foods also right??? Nope.....the children continued eating the fried foods, fast foods, junk food, while this parent ate frozen 'healthy choice' dinner. I wanted to scream at that point). I worry about this little girl seeing that this is the 'fix' and not being taught and shown a healthy way. I worry about her.
Meanwhile, the American Cancer Society is doing some kind of thing locally (technically in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia...but since my bank is based out of WV, we...in the Sharpsburg branch are included) between all the banks in that you earn points based on healthy things that you do. 3 points for each flight of stairs you climb, 1 point for each minute of exercise, 1 point for each 8 ounce glass of water, 1 point for each serving of fruit or veggies. Basically things promoting a healthy lifestyle. The banks are all in competition. There is no prize...other than bragging rights. :-) My branch...we are all excited. First because we all have been talking about being healthy...and there are people in our branch that have been saying that they need to start. Secondly, there are a group of us that are HIGHLY competative. So it shoudl be fun. The problem....we may not have a snowballs chance in hell.....we are a small branch...which means we have to work double hard ...to make up for our lack of people! But it should be good for us!
I'm a bit bothered today. Well, not bothered but just disturbed. I have a family member (through marriage) that is planning on having gastric bypass this year. I know, from talking to friends that have had this procedure done that they went through intense counselling and diet work in preparation. This family member has had NOTHING. They are just doing the surgery...pushing this person through. I wonder at how this person will handle the major change in their life that this surgery is going to bring. And I don't mean the obvious of now they are thin. I mean the changes in emotions. The changes in their eating. Let me also say that this person is not one of these 500 pound people. They are probably low to mid 200's. If you have to change your diet anyway due to the surgery...why not just do it naturally.
Ok...that said...that is NOT what disturbs me. Yeah, I don't agree with the quick fix surgery....what bothers me is that this person has a child. I wouldn't categorize the child as fat...but the child is ....well. Some of the words to describe this child would be sturdy and stocky. NOT good words for a girl. This girl is well on her way to having a weight problem. I can see the path that she is on and it breaks my heart. And then to hear that her parent is setting an example of getting the surgery....I'm just blown away. (as a side note, a while back this parent was trying to diet and eat healthy......great opportunity to feed your children healthy foods also right??? Nope.....the children continued eating the fried foods, fast foods, junk food, while this parent ate frozen 'healthy choice' dinner. I wanted to scream at that point). I worry about this little girl seeing that this is the 'fix' and not being taught and shown a healthy way. I worry about her.
Meanwhile, the American Cancer Society is doing some kind of thing locally (technically in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia...but since my bank is based out of WV, we...in the Sharpsburg branch are included) between all the banks in that you earn points based on healthy things that you do. 3 points for each flight of stairs you climb, 1 point for each minute of exercise, 1 point for each 8 ounce glass of water, 1 point for each serving of fruit or veggies. Basically things promoting a healthy lifestyle. The banks are all in competition. There is no prize...other than bragging rights. :-) My branch...we are all excited. First because we all have been talking about being healthy...and there are people in our branch that have been saying that they need to start. Secondly, there are a group of us that are HIGHLY competative. So it shoudl be fun. The problem....we may not have a snowballs chance in hell.....we are a small branch...which means we have to work double hard ...to make up for our lack of people! But it should be good for us!
Monday, January 12, 2009
monday madness
Woke up today feeling oddly re energized. Unfortunately, now that I'm at work that energy is fading away into the doldrums of the day! :-)
My tongue......still numb and just weird feeling. I wonder if some of it is 'in my head'? :-)
Today is my day off of exercise. I have long ago declared my weigh in day my day of rest from exercise....it makes it easy and keeps me from 'cheating' and having more than one day of rest a week. Plus by the time that I spend the 1/2 hour getting to the meeting, the 1/2 hour getting home, (OK...I exaggerate.....but it still takes 20 minutes each way...close enough), the 1/2 hour meeting (longer if it runs over or if I chit chat afterward), and getting there early for the weigh in (I usually am one of the first to arrive...so I can beat the line and also chit chat)....so there is 2 hours! On top of a work day and the normal every day routine of things....yeah, it just makes it easier to make that my day of rest. :-)
My weight today...up a bi 4/10Th's of a pound. Now I don't honestly think that my 2 points extra of milk is the culprit. I freely admit that I ate more carbs yesterday than I normally do......still within my points (except for those pesky 2 points) but carb laden...which does have an affect. :-) So I'm cool with it. I honestly haven't lost anything in this last week. I'm pretty much exactly where I was at last weeks weigh in.....or at least very close. I'm not going to stress about it.....if I keep doing the 'right thing' the weight will drop! :-)
I'm taking my bike into the shop today....I'm going to my second favorite bike shop. It's actually closer than the one that I attempted to go to yesterday. (yes, I called and checked winter hours...they are open today!)
My tongue......still numb and just weird feeling. I wonder if some of it is 'in my head'? :-)
Today is my day off of exercise. I have long ago declared my weigh in day my day of rest from exercise....it makes it easy and keeps me from 'cheating' and having more than one day of rest a week. Plus by the time that I spend the 1/2 hour getting to the meeting, the 1/2 hour getting home, (OK...I exaggerate.....but it still takes 20 minutes each way...close enough), the 1/2 hour meeting (longer if it runs over or if I chit chat afterward), and getting there early for the weigh in (I usually am one of the first to arrive...so I can beat the line and also chit chat)....so there is 2 hours! On top of a work day and the normal every day routine of things....yeah, it just makes it easier to make that my day of rest. :-)
My weight today...up a bi 4/10Th's of a pound. Now I don't honestly think that my 2 points extra of milk is the culprit. I freely admit that I ate more carbs yesterday than I normally do......still within my points (except for those pesky 2 points) but carb laden...which does have an affect. :-) So I'm cool with it. I honestly haven't lost anything in this last week. I'm pretty much exactly where I was at last weeks weigh in.....or at least very close. I'm not going to stress about it.....if I keep doing the 'right thing' the weight will drop! :-)
I'm taking my bike into the shop today....I'm going to my second favorite bike shop. It's actually closer than the one that I attempted to go to yesterday. (yes, I called and checked winter hours...they are open today!)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Is this an excuse???
I went over my points today...and blew my numbers. I'm rather disgusted as I wanted to make the 6 weeks (even though my body is NOT giving up the weight)
Oh what you may ask. Well....we live in the land of stink bug invasion. They are terrible around here. IT's terrible. And they keep getting into my house. I get rid of them and they get in again. I can't figure it out.
ANYWAY....I was sitting here on my computer tonight and I had my big 64 ounce water jug/bottle sitting here. I absently reached for it and brought it to my lips. I tilted it back and opened up my mouth........and immediately began to feel and hear a crackling in my mouth! My first thought was 'how did a piece of paper get on top of that water bottle spout'. Then I tasted the awful taste and felt this burning sensation on my tongue, even as I spit out the crackling 'piece of paper' onto my hand. Ohhh my word...it was a stink bug!!!! I ran to the sink and kept shoveling water into my mouth and washing my mouth out. I got a big glass of water and inserted my tongue into the water. Ohhh my word...the bad taste was gone but the burning sensation was still there! Todd was concerned but then started to laugh hystarically when he heard and saw me. He instructed me to drink milk. I did it. Fat free of course....1 cup.....2 points. I stuck my tongue in that milk and drank it (have I ever said that I don't really like milk??) Sadly, the milk didn't help and my tongue just burns and stings!!! It's terrible!!!!
SOOOOOOOOO......2 points over what I should have!!!!! SHUCKS!!!
This day is just turning out to be one hoot after another...first the commando incident...now the stink bug....should I just go to bed now and call this day over??????
Oh what you may ask. Well....we live in the land of stink bug invasion. They are terrible around here. IT's terrible. And they keep getting into my house. I get rid of them and they get in again. I can't figure it out.
ANYWAY....I was sitting here on my computer tonight and I had my big 64 ounce water jug/bottle sitting here. I absently reached for it and brought it to my lips. I tilted it back and opened up my mouth........and immediately began to feel and hear a crackling in my mouth! My first thought was 'how did a piece of paper get on top of that water bottle spout'. Then I tasted the awful taste and felt this burning sensation on my tongue, even as I spit out the crackling 'piece of paper' onto my hand. Ohhh my word...it was a stink bug!!!! I ran to the sink and kept shoveling water into my mouth and washing my mouth out. I got a big glass of water and inserted my tongue into the water. Ohhh my word...the bad taste was gone but the burning sensation was still there! Todd was concerned but then started to laugh hystarically when he heard and saw me. He instructed me to drink milk. I did it. Fat free of course....1 cup.....2 points. I stuck my tongue in that milk and drank it (have I ever said that I don't really like milk??) Sadly, the milk didn't help and my tongue just burns and stings!!! It's terrible!!!!
SOOOOOOOOO......2 points over what I should have!!!!! SHUCKS!!!
This day is just turning out to be one hoot after another...first the commando incident...now the stink bug....should I just go to bed now and call this day over??????
A bust, a yummy meal, and an embarrassing lesson
Todd and I made our plans for today, a Sunday off together early in the week. We would start our day at the gym. Go home, shower and change and then head to Frederick. In Frederick, we would drop my bike off at the bike shop and stop at a music store for TOdd and to do some studio business. From there we would head to Gaithersburg where we would enjoy a meal at buca di Beppo. Well, the day didn't turn out quite as we planned.
The bust part. Frederick. I looked online at the bike shop hours and we went down based on that....uhhhh winter hours was NOT posted on the website! So they were closed. We popped the bike back on top of the car and moved on to the music store. Uhhhh they were closed also! What was up with this????
No problem, we headed to Gaithersburg. For some reason, I always get turned around when we go to Buca di Beppo.....but we finally arrived. I was halfway afraid that I'd find them closed. Thankfully they were open (they appeared to be short staffed...but all was ok). The meal was WONDERFUL. Todd and I split an Antipasta Salad and a Lasagna meal. (we got the small servings of each..which serves 1-2 people...so we were dead on with our servings). We DID have some bread too. It was scrumptious!
My weight was down a bit this morning...still a little up from where I was last week during on my weight in day but down from my weird uppage this week.
We woke up this morning and I made breakfast for both of us. I made egg and cheese sandwiches...grilled...using the most wonderful thing I've tried recently....olive oil butter spread! This stuff is incredible...first of all it helps me get my daily requirment of oil, which I admittedly struggle with. But it makes a REALLY REALLY good grillled cheese (or grilled breakfast sandwich).
So anyway, I made breakfast and we got ready to go to the gym. And here is where my embarrassing lesson starts! I went to get dressed. I opened up my underwear drawer and out of habit just started to grab the top pair off the pile. I stopped and started to think. You see, the last few days that I've gone to the gym, I've had a bit of a problem. You see......well......to put it bluntly they ride in ways that they shouldn't ride. OK OK OK, I've gotten wedgies! Exercise wedgies you might say. So anyway, I was looking into the drawer and started to contemplate what pair would best serve my pursposes and NOT ride in an uncomfortable manner. And that is when I got a grand idea! I've never been much of a 'commando' girl myself...but I started to think. If I just put on my exercise pants and skip the underwear...well...there would be nothing to ride improperly! What a grand idea!!!! I couldn't believe my stroke of genius! So off to the gym I went. I did have a momentary thought of what would happen if my pants ripped out at the seam ...but I put that thought out of my mind! I entered the gym....and headed to the elliptical machine. I set myself up and started my workout. I was amazed at how wonderful my 'plan' was working. I felt no uncomfortable 'riding'. It was great. I pushed myself on the elliptical and my time on that machine eventually ended. From there I moved over to an upright exercise bike. I rode HARD....sweat was drippin' I was going gang busters ahead.....knocking fat off of my body! It wasn't until I hit my cool down that I looked down. Now don't ask me why I looked down and noticed the crotch of my pants...but I did. Ohhh my word....it looked like I peed myself. Apparently, the underwear acts as a wick and collects the sweat and keeps it from pooling in the crotch of my pants!!!!! I had to walk out of the gym and across the parking lot looking like I had peed my pants!!!! NEVER again will I go commando to the gym!!!
These things could 'only' happen to me!!!
The bust part. Frederick. I looked online at the bike shop hours and we went down based on that....uhhhh winter hours was NOT posted on the website! So they were closed. We popped the bike back on top of the car and moved on to the music store. Uhhhh they were closed also! What was up with this????
No problem, we headed to Gaithersburg. For some reason, I always get turned around when we go to Buca di Beppo.....but we finally arrived. I was halfway afraid that I'd find them closed. Thankfully they were open (they appeared to be short staffed...but all was ok). The meal was WONDERFUL. Todd and I split an Antipasta Salad and a Lasagna meal. (we got the small servings of each..which serves 1-2 people...so we were dead on with our servings). We DID have some bread too. It was scrumptious!
My weight was down a bit this morning...still a little up from where I was last week during on my weight in day but down from my weird uppage this week.
We woke up this morning and I made breakfast for both of us. I made egg and cheese sandwiches...grilled...using the most wonderful thing I've tried recently....olive oil butter spread! This stuff is incredible...first of all it helps me get my daily requirment of oil, which I admittedly struggle with. But it makes a REALLY REALLY good grillled cheese (or grilled breakfast sandwich).
So anyway, I made breakfast and we got ready to go to the gym. And here is where my embarrassing lesson starts! I went to get dressed. I opened up my underwear drawer and out of habit just started to grab the top pair off the pile. I stopped and started to think. You see, the last few days that I've gone to the gym, I've had a bit of a problem. You see......well......to put it bluntly they ride in ways that they shouldn't ride. OK OK OK, I've gotten wedgies! Exercise wedgies you might say. So anyway, I was looking into the drawer and started to contemplate what pair would best serve my pursposes and NOT ride in an uncomfortable manner. And that is when I got a grand idea! I've never been much of a 'commando' girl myself...but I started to think. If I just put on my exercise pants and skip the underwear...well...there would be nothing to ride improperly! What a grand idea!!!! I couldn't believe my stroke of genius! So off to the gym I went. I did have a momentary thought of what would happen if my pants ripped out at the seam ...but I put that thought out of my mind! I entered the gym....and headed to the elliptical machine. I set myself up and started my workout. I was amazed at how wonderful my 'plan' was working. I felt no uncomfortable 'riding'. It was great. I pushed myself on the elliptical and my time on that machine eventually ended. From there I moved over to an upright exercise bike. I rode HARD....sweat was drippin' I was going gang busters ahead.....knocking fat off of my body! It wasn't until I hit my cool down that I looked down. Now don't ask me why I looked down and noticed the crotch of my pants...but I did. Ohhh my word....it looked like I peed myself. Apparently, the underwear acts as a wick and collects the sweat and keeps it from pooling in the crotch of my pants!!!!! I had to walk out of the gym and across the parking lot looking like I had peed my pants!!!! NEVER again will I go commando to the gym!!!
These things could 'only' happen to me!!!
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