Thursday, January 22, 2009

can you say frustration?

It's hard not to be frustrated! Frustrated at the lack of progress on the scales. Frustrated at the small gain I saw on the scales this morning. Frustrated at my motivation. Frustrated at my efforts!

Yes, I'm frustrated. I guess for the most part I'm frustrated at myself. I'm frustrated because I'm fiddling away my chance to lose weight (on a daily basis...definitely not in the grand scheme of things...that opportunity will never be lost). Yesterday I was doing fairly well. I had breakfast...right on target with what I had set for the day. We left the house and I hit up the gym. All was going well! After the gym, Todd and I stopped off and got a sandwich and spilt a side of potato salad. Still not toooo bad. I had planned for it and I was OK. I was a bit upset with myself because I wanted to take some grapes and a Clementine to eat with my lunch, but I had forgotten it. No problem...still on track! We ran some errands (Walmart, Target, and the mall)....lots of walking. And mid afternoon we met up with a friend to tour and old power plant. That is where things started going awry. The friend that we were meeting got held up was late so we didn't get started there until a bit later than expected. It was VERY cool and well worth the wait! But as I said we got done there later. So we stopped off at Cracker Barrel on the way home for dinner. I was still doing Really well. I ordered veggie platter. So I was doing fine....yeah, their veggies have more fat on them, but it was better than the other options. Anyway, I was doing really good UNTIL the waitress set down that pesky biscuit and cornbread muffin in front of me. I immediately felt a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. Yes, I ate 'em. I ate them both! OK, all was not lost.....I was still probably within my points. It was OK. But then I got home. I was putting stuff away and noticed the container that was holding the homemade bread. Before I knew it I was having a slice of it. Followed by a devils food (healthy choice) cookie. Ohhh and if that wasn't enough, I had a snack bar! I ate those things less than 30 minutes after getting home from the restaurant!!! Why? Why do I do this to myself?

According to fit day, I still burned more calories than I ate. But my weight is still up. I was over in my weight watchers points. (Yes, I'm still keeping track of both counting systems for a bit...just to see where I am...and maybe figure out where I need to be).

The other day I finally admitted to myself.......yes, I am a binge eater! Someone mentioned it a few months back "ohhh so you binge eat" (it was the trainer at the gym). I was shocked and denied it till I was practically blue in the face. But I guess it's time to strip myself bare and admit it....I am a total binge eater!


WWSuzi said...

I can so see myself in you! I do get frustrated with this journey and sometimes it seems impossible, other times no one can stop me :)
And i'm still trying to find exactly what works best for me! I believe i'm getting closer.
I've also had to admit i'm a binge eater! Not all the time it rears it's ugly head now and then. That i'm still trying to figure out!
However, that being said i get the best support and answers with my blog friends :) You know we're here for you anytime!!

Ally said...

I struggle with binge eating too. It's so frustrating. 11 days ago I decided to take a break from all sweets (and most bread, etc.), and not eating it all has made it much easier for me. I wish I could just eat a cookie, but it rarely happens that I eat just one or two.

JC said...

I don't know that it will make you feel better that I relate so well. However, I know for sure I'm a binge eater. Did you notice the binge foods were all carbs? Mine always are. I never binge on meat or diary. Today is a new day just adjust an go on.

Deborah said...

You just wrote this post describing me!!! Me thinks we are all struggling with the same things. We gotta find the momentum to get back to doing the right things. I just don't know how to do that for more than a couple of weeks. Then all hell breaks loose and here I go again.

SeaShore said...

Count me as another binger. Your binge doesn't sound too bad really, but I understand: it's that binge behaviour. Why do we regress to it? I struggle with trying to control it or replace it with something else. For me, it often comes when I'm off routine, or unsettled in some way.