Poisonous

Last night we walked on the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal.   The weather was fabulous!!!   The squirrels were enjoying the evening.  We saw numerous pairs of them running together, jumping from tree to tree.  We enjoyed watching  the turtles in the water.   The bright red cardinals were chirping and fluttering around trying to impress their female counterparts (or maybe protecting the nests of their young...who knows...it's more romantic to say trying to impress their love interest right?).    We  even got to see a brave and bold deer drinking only a few feet away.  (He finally retreated about 5 feet and waited for us to pass by before moving back to his original position). 

Today???

The alarm went off at 5AM.  I so did NOT want to move!   Really?  Who in their right mind runs that early????  

My mind's mean and negative Mini Me  tried to talk me out of it.  "MaryFran, you've been having that burning pain on the top of your foot the last day or two...maybe you shouldn't run". (Basically a pinched or compressed nerve....and I am taking care of it).  And. "MaryFran, it's still dark....barely light". And of course the ever present "MaryFran come on now the bed is so comfortable sleep the extra hour away"

Luckily for me there was also the voice of health happiness and well maybe just a little competitivness in there too!  That voice, in a much friendlier tone said... (And imagine this as sounding something like angels singing) "MaryFran, if you don't run you will start to fall behind Jason in the mileage challenge and you hate hate hate to lose!!"   And "your doing so good with running, if you stop you will lose your momentum".   I think it even gleefully sang the words "Look MaryFran, you just wiggled your foot and didn't feel even a twinge of pain....this run is yours!!"   

So earlier I asked 'Who in their right mind runs at 5AM?'     Apparently I'm not in my right mind...because I was done with my run by shortly after 6!

It wasn't an easy run.  Things went awry on this run!   

I went slow because of my foot.  (Which didn't hurt until after the run was completed).   That not really awry but I don't like the higher numbers!

About a half mile into my run my headphones began to speak to me.  That's not a good sign....because the only thing they ever say is 'charge me'.   From that first warning you only get about 5 -10 more minutes before they shut down completely.   So yeah.  I ran more than half of my run without music (they are on the charger now!!!)

And well....I went to the bathroom before I left the house but I really had to go starting at about the mile mark!   It's not fun running and clenching your muscles tight!!!

Physically I felt well enough to continue....but with everything happening (and I did have to get ready for work so my time was short) I called it a completed victory after about 2.5 miles!

As I ran today....in silence... I was pondering my father and what he is going through.  I know I've alluded to some stress and worry about my dad.  He was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks back.   He started chemotherapy yesterday.  (Trying to halt the growth and shrink the tumor and the spots that have metatastasized to make any eventual surgery more successful.) 

What kept going through my head was the 'poison' that they are pumping into him.  Because yes, that's exactly what chemo is....a poison that kills ...hopefully attacking primarily the cancer cells.  It is a necessary poison that we hope and pray keeps him alive! 

   But what kept going through my head was that I frequently find myself putting non nutritious food (poison I might say) into my body on a daily basis and don't think twice about it!    A little harsh?  Yeah definitely.....because eating a Reece's cup isn't considered poison....and a piece of cake isn't alone going to kill me. But all put together and ingested with no control and no care about my health, they could kill me.  Obesity kills.  Diabetes kills.  The unhealthy food choices are not building my body up...they are tearing me down.   It's just as poisonous...just oh so much more subtle!

Rambunctious Reptile

Monday and back to the grind!!!  It was a busy weekend.  :-)

I didn't come out of the weekend weighing less.  That disappoints me.  We were active and my eating wasn't  too far out of whack!  So it should have been less!!

And when I added in my exercise for a net ...it's pretty good!!

So I feel as if I did good....but the weight just didn't fall. It could be TOM. Or it could be a touch of dehydration.   Saturday was HOT!!!   I know I didn't pee anywhere near what I usually do!!!   And I know on both Sunday and today I woke up thirsty which is a bad sign.   So I'm not going to panic.   I am just going to drink up and keep moving on and trust that the activity and on target eating will level out and I will see results!    This journey is not a fast one....it is one that requires patience!   Patience is not a strong trait of mine....guess it is time to learn!!!

So this weekend, I already said that I was pretty good with my food.  I was also pretty active!

On Friday I got off work and we headed up for a late afternoon/early evening hike at Caledonia Stare Park. We checked out the furnace...

And hit a few trails.... Some easy ones like a history trail, but also some that were rated more difficult 

On Saturday we headed south to the Front Royal area.   We hit up the trail leading to Buzzard Rock. 

It was hot hot hot!!!

Drenched with sweat!!

I had a great trauma on this hike!   We were heading up the mountain and a huge snake jumped out and slithered across my foot!   I screamed!  The snake slithered away back to the relative safety of the side of the trail!   It was huge!!!!   Ok...it was not really huge....

It was probably more scared than I!  Jason's comment, "I'm glad you didn't step on him...it would have killed the little thing."    

Great trauma!!!

We also did some swimming at the hotel pool on Saturday!

On Sunday we got up and headed out. We explored an old graveyard!   I loved this undated stone.

"Mammy". Emily Early Faithful servant and friend  for four generations

I wish I could find out more about this mammy!!   It totally sparked my interest!  Jason wants to go back to get a charcoal  tracing so that we can try to make out the words on the bottom!

After our adventure in the graveyard we headed to Bluemont, VA and hopped onto the Appalachian Trail.    We just enjoyed the sights!   And the Bears Den Rocks are pretty cool and gave nice views!!

After our hike, we did a bit of geocaching on our way home.    Another great weekend!!!

Mileage for the weekend was right at about 20-25 miles.  Not amazingly tons of miles but respectable nonetheless!!!

Zzzzzzz

I am sooo happy to announce that Panera Bread has brought back their summer menu!   

For me, that means the Strawberry chicken poppyseed salad!  It's always a sad sad day when it goes away for the fall....especially since nothing as good replaces it!!

I am trying to eat more fruits and veggies so this salad being one of my favs in terms of salad combinations is a welcome addition to have back!!!!

I am enjoying the increase of fruits and veggies.   Not every day is perfect yet...but I am actually enjoying the increase!   

I'm tired today!!!!!  I kept waking up last night....I fell right back to sleep but maybe that's the reason!   Who knows!  I'm not going to let it bother me.  I'm tough I'll power through!

On Wednesday I did get out on my lunch break and walked.   It was gorgeous....but a bit windy....my skirt wanted to fly!!!!    I usually walk a circuit around this little town....but on Wednesday I headed up the hill toward the cemeteries!  

Here is the old Lutheren Cemetery....

And the entrance to the Antietam National Cemetery...

 I had a purpose for going toward the cemeteries....A geocache of course! 

A nice mile and a half on my legs!

After work, Jason and I went to a local park and walked 3 more miles.   Being in the woods is just refreshing and rejuvenating!  (When I was married I hit the canal a lot for that same reason!)

Yesterday I ended up taking a sick day from work in order to drive my dad to Baltimore for a test at a hospital down there.   Since I had the morning off too...I ran 4.22 miles, mowed all the properties, trimmed some trees, Went to sam's club and did some laundry....all before leaving for the hospital in Baltimore at around lunchtime.    All in all I put 8 miles on my legs.   Not a bad day.

My weight is up a bit today.   Could be water retention or any number of things! Who knows.  I'm not going to worry about it...my eating wasn't that far off yesterday!!!  (I ate 1634 calories but still had leftover 'earned calories left at the end of the day!)

Hoping to get some good walking and hiking in this weekend.   We don't know where yet....but if we have much say it will be some place pretty!!!

Where to begin!!!!

So much to say......

Part 1

My weekly official weigh in was this morning.   I am happy to announce that I lost 2.4 pounds!  Weeeeee!!!!!   

My week wasn't perfect.   I was far from perfect with my eating!

 I was however pretty active!!!   So when I  added in my activity calories I did pretty good!!!

It wasn't a spot on week but it was pretty good!!

I ran a few times.  I walked a lot. 

I'm not looking for perfection.  I'm looking for a sustainable lifestyle!!! 

So this past week.... I am going to call it a success!!!   

Part 2

Hair hair everywhere

About 6-9 months ago I started noticing some mad hair loss.....at first I wasn't concerned.  It happens. I went out and got my hair cut/trimmed because that typically helps.   It didn't help.   I've been concerned because at the rate of hair I feel I'm losing I fear that I will be bald in another 6 months!

I have tried vitamins.  (A woman's one a day)...and still take the vitamins!

Was it the hair coloring I use to cover my gray??  (Yeah yeah...I'm going gray!!!).  I color as infrequently as possible!   (Last time was right around April 1)

I have never been high maintenance so blow dryers and whatnot rarely come near my head anyway so it's not that!!!

I switched to sulfate free shampoo and conditioner

I have tried medicated shampoos.  (Pee euuuu my head smelled like a hospital)

Was it because I wore my hair up in a twist and/or a pony tail 90% of the time??  I switched to wearing my hair down as much as possible for a while (and still do...besides Jason likes it down!)

I've wondered if it was the stress (delayed a while) of my marriage breaking up.

Whatever the reason, It has been concerning.

Maybe it's the simplest solution of all! I have long written that eating healthy in my current living conditions is difficult.  Before my separation it was typical for me to eat well over my 5 servings of fruits and veggies each day.  I realized the other day/week that I'm lucky to get one or two servings a day...and that's being generous...I probably average less than 1 serving a day.   

That's bad on a whole bunch of levels!  But that said....I'm going to try to up the intake....maybe that is affecting the hair falling out. (Not breaking...falling out!)

It makes sense though....proper nutrition is important!!!!!!

Part 3

Stupid weather yesterday kept me from walking on my lunch break!   It turned black....then rained for 5 minutes.  It started to look clear again so I started to think about going back out.   Before I could enact upon it it turned black and threatening again...and eventually rained again for 5 minutes or so.  It repeated this over and over throughout the day!!   No lunch break walk for me!!!     Jason and I walked at the city park though!!!!   Better luck today!!!!  (Although we just had a wee little rain and storm blow through.)

Maybe...

Mighty I actually see a bit of success tomorrow on my official weigh in????  This morning's sneak peak looked good!!!!   That would be fantastic and go a LONG way to keeping me motivated to get this weight off!  (As if being able to shop for cool clothes and gear isn't motivation enough!!).  

Moving, activity and exercise is the key for me at this juncture in my life.   I know it!!  The first time I lost weight I was so focused on food.  I was regimented and totally like a drill sergeant with what went into my mouth!  And I often talked about how I missed the innocence of being able to order a milkshake. Or eat a French fry or whatever!  So consequentially when I reached my goal (and yes maintained long enough to be a lifetime member at weight watchers) I tasted the fries...the cakes...the milkshakes.   And I gained.   And gained.   And gained.

This time around I am trying to not be so regimented!   I eat the greasy pizza when Jason and I order it. And yes I eat 2-3 slices!!!   Sometimes I get a milkshake!  In fact, I ate a slice of cake for breakfast today after my run (I had a banana earlier so it wasn't a total unhealthy breakfast!) . The difference?  Well there are a few things that have shifted in my thinking...

1.  I'm more active.  I am trying to make being active my new lifestyle!   We walk, we hike, I run (and we have our challenge thing). and I hope to get out my bikes soon!!!!   The activity counter balances those special indulgences!

2.  It's not an all or nothing deal.  For me to say I'll never eat a greasy  pizza...or never have a milkshake..or never have a slice of cake is asinine and just setting myself up for failure!   I know myself and eating 100% on target for the rest of my life is not a viable long term solution.   Maybe 80% though!  

3.  It's not about the number on the scale any longer it's about my overall health!  I want to be healthy as I start to get older.  I want to be an old person that is hiking and running marathons.  I want to live my life to the fullest and not be sitting as an invalid in a nursing home!  

Eating is important.....very important...but exercise is the key!!!!  :-)

So my last 24 hours...

Let me backtrack to yesterday and start where I left off.    I decided to walk on my lunch break at work.   The reasoning is twofold.   There are some things happening that are stressing me out big time at my work.  (Enough that I have on a few occasions arrived to spend the evening with Jason after work...he greets me with a hug and I just start to bawl!  Poor guy, what a greeting!!). So with that stress it's a good thing to get out of the building for my allotted 30 minutes!   Plus, it may only be a mile to a mile and a half but it's movement in an otherwise sedentary 8 hours!!!  

It was a gorgeous day to walk!   

The one alley I was walking...

And an ivy covered historic house mixed in with some patriotism....

It really helped to break up the day!

After work I met up with Jason and we went to Tayamentasachta (I think the spelling is correct).  The Greencastle, PA school farm.   We walked about 2 miles there.   It was the first time Jason had been back in years and it was interesting to have him verbalize his memories and compare them with the current place...how much trees had grown and whatnot!  

A nice huge old tree.  According to the monument it is over 350 years old and the second largest/oldest in the state of PA. 

And some fungus that caught our eye!!

We also found the geocache that I couldn't find to save my soul last summer!!  Jason found it in seconds! 

I got home at about 7 and spent a bit of time with my family.

This morning I got up and ran 2.55 miles.  Slooooow miles but I ran!!   I'm planning on walking again on my lunch break even though it will be warm....I liked how it broke up my day!!   And Jason and I are supposed to meet when I get off work tonight so we will probably find another park somewhere to walk (or the canal).   

Mental shifting in my thoughts?  Maybe....but I think I'm in a better place with where I am.   My eating still isn't spot on but I'm on a positive path!!!

Another one bites the dust

I have managed to keep my eating relatively controlled this past week.  I was a bit high early last week but I got it somewhat regulated!  It wasn't a perfect week but it was somewhat better!

Luckily for me...I took a sneak peak on the scales this morning and it is looking like my weight has held steady ( 0.4 down actually).  Hopefully I can knock it to a full pound by my official weigh in day!!

We didn't hike this weekend.  They were calling for mad thunderstorms.  We Strokled through some stores and visited some cool old towns, and examined the bargains (and not so much bargains) at some flea markets and we geocached a bit!   And frustratingly enough we somehow managed to avoid almost every drop of rain!!!  Right place and right time, I guess.  But we commented so many times, 'we should have just taken our rain gear and gone out and risked it!!!'   Oh well.  It was a good day regardless!!!!

You can see how muddy the river was in Harper's Ferry...attesting to the mad rain that occurred just prior to our arrival (by the time we left the area the water was once again bluish black like normal). 

Here is an old shed we found while geocaching!

And of course in the trail outfitters stores we tried ok hats!  

Another good weekend.   And shopping (window shopping for the most part) in these trail outfitter stores (and other stores) really made me want to lose weight....so much easier to shop and get some of the most awesome clothes if I were a size or so smaller!!!!  The smaller really cool stores seem to only carry up to size 12.   So my size 16 behind just gets to drool right now at those places!!!

Motivation!!!!

Boiling quicksand

It has been two weeks exactly since my last run.  Yes...I didn't run for two weeks!  That is NOT the consistency that I was aiming for.  But I got back on track today!  I went out this morning and ran!  I was scared!  I was nervous.  I was kinda dreading how it was going to go!  Yeah, yeah yeah....I was also kind of looking forward to the euphoric feeling when I was done also.

You see, I was totally expecting my pace to have disintegrated by a full minute or two.  Not that it matters.....because I'm doing this for fun and health....but admittedly I do want to set a PR at my next run.  I was seeing progress on my PR while I was running consistently....slow but steady progress.  So I was fully expecting to see that just fall apart.  I also knew that getting out there to run was the only way to halt any further loss of what I had accomplished!

I didn't have to work until 12 today so I fiddled around and didn't head out the door until about 7:30. I had absolutely no plans as to how far I was going to run.  ANY run would be a good one at this point. I started to run and wow.......my breathing immediately went wonky, my knees hurt and it just didn't feel good.  

I pushed on.  I knew that the only way to get past it was to run.  I crossed my fingers, hoped and prayed that it would pass and that it would get easier as I ran.  

I felt like I was a turtle slogging through peanut butter!

After the first half of a mile I ran by some honeysuckle.  Ohhhhh it smelled so good.  I almost wanted to lay down and sniff to my hearts content...but I was HOT!   I ran on and I decided my blog title for today would be Heated Honeysuckle.   Oh yes...what a good title!

At the mile mark I was pleasantly surprised to get my progress.  I ran my first mile  in 13:11 minutes.  Not anything fabulous for some runners out there.  But that is roughly where I've been running my miles.....even before the two weeks off.  (I was averaging low 13's the last week or two.....and my last run came in with an average of 12:45)   I was shocked!   I ran on, determined!

Have I mentioned it was hot?  It had to have been 90 degrees out there.  Seriously!  My hands felt like they were swelling with the humid heat.  I just wanted my ring off my finger.  In my mind I felt like it was cutting off the circulation in my hand.  I was sure my finger was turning blue and in danger of falling off!   Yeah....rings of blue was a good blog title.  Yeah, I would use that title for today's blog!  Much better than Heated Honeysuckle!

I ran on.  Dang it was hot!   Mile two passed and my pace actually improved by a few seconds.  I kept running.  I decided to do the short loop and call it a victory for the day.  It seemed like a wise plan.

I kept running....I knew that I was running at a pretty consistent pace and right where I have been running so I was happy but my word it felt like I was going slow!  It felt like I was going through quicksand.  My sweaty body kept running.  It was now not just quicksand...I was running through boiling quicksand!

I did it!  I arrived home, 2.5 miles done.  Decent pace.   And most importantly, back on track!!!!

Oh and the temperature when I checked?  74°.  I swear it was hotter!!!!!!  Humidity grabbed me today I guess!

Crabby

Ok, maybe not crabby...but crab tree falls!

I have been missing....again....but missing doesn't mean I'm down and out!  I'm still tracking everything I eat.  It hasn't been exactly spectacular but I'm still tracking.  That means that I am at least still cognizant of what I am eating.   I just pulled up my last week on myfitnesspal and it wasn't all that bad.  My caloric intake for the week averaged out to be 1450 calories.   That isn't too bad.    The crazy thing?  My high days were on my long weekend away with Jason.  No, that's not the crazy part..the crazy thing is that I came back and weighed in 2 pounds lighter!  I'll take it.  We typically are pretty active on the weekends, so I'm sure that plays a big part in it!  We also drink a LOT of water.....it is easy for me to drink a lot when I see Jason drinking.  He is also very vocal about making comments when we are hiking like "Sweetheart, I haven't seen you drinking any water....are you drinking?"   OF course on our Monday hike I was the one that looked at him and said "Your not drinking a lot today...I'm way ahead of you"  So it does go both ways!  

So I'm determined to keep it on point this week.  My weekends we are hiking and moving and not only am I very active, but I am so not even thinking about food!   I am very sedentary at work and it is slower so I do have way too much time to think about food....which is not a good combination because it makes me want to snack.  

Running?  Last week I didn't run even once!  Yeah, that's not a good thing.  Life .........well it just didn't happen.  No excuses....I just plain didn't get to it even the days that I planned, it just didn't happen.  This week though...I'm hot on the trail!  Although, I did have a brief thought about waking up to run at 5AM this morning...but that didn't happen.  Maybe tonight after I spending time with Jason. (Although realistically, we will probably find a park or trail to walk on this evening so will I want to run when I get home?)

So my work week last week was just busy.  There was some stuff going on and some happenings in life that just made the week a busy one.    So when Friday 2PM rolled around and I was free for a long weekend I was READY for the weekend!

Jason and I hopped into the car and headed south.  We went to Staunton, VA.  On Saturday we hit up the Frontier Culture Museum and found a trail outfitter store a town or two away to go look at (and drool over things we would love to buy).   It was really hot and the sun was really bright.  We used sunscreen but started to feel burnt, so we retreated inside out of the heat and sun and watched movies in the cool!  We wanted to avoid any major burns so that we wouldn't ruin our other planned outdoor activities for the weekend.

On Sunday we woke up to an overcast day.  It didn't deter us.  We expored the towns near us and hit up the Besty Bell Park.  Even though it rained while we were at the park, we were fine as we were under the cover of trees.  The park sign was there so I headed up the road.  Once I started up I was committed to make it to the top.  But let me tell you...the road was HORRIBLE.  It was definitely a four wheel drive road....but I just went slow (VERY SLOW) and we made it to the top.  The overlook gave us a pretty sight.  Then we hit up what we thought was a path and headed down the hill on foot.  It turned out to be an old road that was no longer used.  We saw some really cool fungus though.   

We went back down the crazy road.  I actually popped it into neutral and drifted down (with my foot on the brack the whole way).  I think a turtle passed me as we went down!  We parked at the bottom of the park and hiked a trail on the bottom up a different hill (or maybe a different section of the hill).  The trail was well maintained on the bottom of the trail but as we ascended the trail became very overgrown....so much so that we cut back some branches and brush for the next person.  That trail didn't have any great overlook but we had fun exploring (and there was a geocache midway up so that was a good thing!)

Monday morning we awoke and were greeted by the sunshine!  YAY!   We headed to Crabtree Falls  It is the highest vertical drop waterfall east of the Mississippi River.  The hike up is gorgeous as the trail switchbacks up the mountain and takes you past the 5 major cascades of the waterfall and numerous other small cascades.   It was incredibly gorgous!  It was a good workout and a really fun day together to end our long weekend away.

It was a good weekend!!!!

So back to the grind today.   I am planning on keeping my food in line.....I am planning on running at least 2 times this week.  I am planning on kicking this weight in the behind!

So much to say...so little space.

I have so much to say...so much has been on my mind lately...and then more came up over the weekend....oh well...it's my blog, this might just be a little long....although I promise to not ramble too much!!  

So after my post the other day about the Reeces cups I was really thinking about the demon cups.   Ironically enough that very night Jason had a serious talk with me about them...because while he teases me he wanted to be absolutely certain that I found it funny and that it wasn't really actually hurtful.  Yeah he knew the answer because he knows me...but he had to hear me actually say it to rest easier!  (Yeah just another reason to really like this guy!).    I of course laughed and said that I thought the teasing was funny and actually sparked me to be more diligent about not letting them slide back into my life in such a grand scale!!  He laughed and said..."yeah That's what I was almost positive was happening!"    But while I was talking to him I made a comment that 'if it wasn't Reece's cups it would be something else...and I said 'remember when a few months ago I was ordering breaded and fried cheese like it was going out of style??   It was out of control and I had to stop myself?  He laughed and said ...yup he remembered.   You see  I was sliding into the 'addictive behaviors with those too'.  So I realized the other day that it can be anything.      Fried cheese (delicious)...demon cups (super delicious)....Dairy Queen Blizzards.  (Yummy).  Oh yes wasn't it just a few weeks/months ago that I was talking about my blizzard issue???   Macaroni and cheese....peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...French fries, chocolate chips, Oreo cookies.....And so many things!!!    Luckily sometimes it's healthy things....strawberries....green beans...baked zucchini....etc.     So that's the scary thing it can hit with so many things!!!    Oh yes....addictive personality.     

So I've whipped the Reece's cup addictive tendency (for now). I broke the cycle....but I'm sure something else will populate within my life and I will have to break the cycle...time and time and time again...because that is how my mind and addictive tendencies work.  (Unless it's something healthy like strawberries....what breaks that cycle is when I get a few weeks of eh tasting strawberries!)

Running....I won again...but I know my wins may be coming to an end....because the only way I'm winning is scheduling and health issues that keep him from running.    

This weekend we had a good time...even with the rainy weather.   I struggled internally though....I struggled with body image issues.   I felt fat...I felt bloated and I just struggled.   Jason was his normal totally complimentary self...telling me how beautiful and attractive he finds me.  But I struggled to not growl back at him.   I knew it was me...i know that it is my battle and that his words totally match his actions...so it really was my problem.   Maybe it was because The monthly ick hit this weekend with its normal water retention causing bloating feeling and a jump on the scales.  Who knows!!  Don't know why it was this way this weekend but that just the way the cookie crumbles I guess!   

I'm a stress eater...and I had some stress last week...some bad news in my life...and I lost control of my eating and calories. I'm back on track now I think...and just trying to fight the stress without food!   Prayers for my father please though!!!

So my weekend?   It was rainy and supposed to rain and drizzle all weekend...which it did.  So we went to Fredericksburg, VA...lots of indoor options and options that were not "totally" outside!     We got lucky and it only misted when we had to be outside!!!

Chatham Manor

Fredericksburg Battlefield (and visitor center/museum)

Willis Hill Cemetery

Fredericksburg National Cemetery

And the stormy choppy Potomac Ricer

Luckily my cat when I got home sacrificed and helped me eat my dinner to help me save on calories!

Silly Ethel!   (Course I blame this on 'grandma and grandpa' as she never got people food before we came to live with my parents!!!)