14 year Blogiversary

Holy cow!  How has it gotten to the point that it has been 14 years since I started this blog/website?  What an amazing journey!  I have had incredible success with weight loss.  I have had some set backs in my weight loss journey also.   But through it I all I can honestly say that I have been continually learning about myself.  

So here is the fourteen years  in review and some lessons learned along the way post.     I have struggled with taking pictures of myself along the way.....a regret of mine.  (pictures are SO important on this journey) so the pictures are somewhat sparse in the earlier years of my journey!

I started this blog as a heavily overweight woman.  Here is a picture or two from that time....or rather, these pictures were taken December 2005....the closest pictures of myself I could find in conjunction with the start of this site.   I was probably right around 260 pounds at this time..  I had actually already lost about 50 pounds by this point in my journey because I did not start my online journal (aka blog) when I first embarked upon this weight loss journey.

Yeah, those pictures are definitely NOT easy for me to look at.  I am saddened that I let myself get to that point and thought it was ok.

But I had a mission.  I was going to lose the weight.  I sadly, was losing the weight for the wrong reasons.....NEVER lose weight to try to make someone love you the way you want to be loved.  They need to love you for you and not the number on the scale or the size of your body.  It took me quite a few years to figure that lesson out. 

Right or wrong reasons, I started working  diligently on this weight thing!!!! I walked.  I rode my bike. I became a collector of exercise videos and I actually used them....EVERY DAY!     I watched everything I ate.....and guess what?   It worked!   I can see my face had started thinning out in this picture.

By mid 2007 my weight was lower than ever and I was feeling fantastic!!!!  I wasn't done  I kept moving!  I kept working it!  And the weight just kept dropping!!!

By 2008 I had reached my goal weight (as prescribed by my doctor).   Oh my word.  I can't even describe how fabulous I felt.   I was on top of the world.  I had never felt that well physically as an adult.   My arthritis in my knees all but disappeared.  I felt confident.  I just can't describe how life was...I just felt GREAT! (Size 10 shorts in the picture below..my lowest size)

I even managed to make it to be a lifetime member at Weight watchers!!!!!!  GO me!!!!!!!

I still had some weight to lose.  I was still about 15 pounds over where the BMI charts told me that I needed to be in order to be healthy.  I pushed..and pushed.   Family and friends started to worry about me and told me that my face looked gaunt and started asking if I was sick.  I knew I wasn't.  But I still struggled with self image.  I never saw myself as a thin person.  So I pushed forward.  But I can NOW see how my face was SOOOOO thin!  

It was shortly after this picture that I realized that losing the weight in an effort to make my husband love me the way I needed to be loved was NOT working.  My marriage was still on the rocks, and nothing I was doing was working  (I had tried everything, not just a massive weight loss!).  I stopped caring about my weight....after all the purpose for losing weight had crumbled and proved to be ineffective so why continue?. Ok, I still wanted to be thin, but I didn't want to bother with watching everything.  I didn't want to worry about the work it would take to complete my mission.  I started to slip.  

By late  2009 I had done something I said I would NEVER do.....allow my weight to creep back above 200 pounds.    

By the way...I don't like the weird mouth thing going on...but my hair was AWESOME in this picture!!!    In 2009 I met a blog buddy for the first time  and we rode Girls with Gears!!! What a fabulous experience and what a fabulous friend!!  I was about 210 pounds.  

Donna and I had so much fun doing the Girls with Gears Bike ride that we decided to do Pedal to Preserve the same year.  You can see that I gained weight between these two rides...two short months.  My hair was still awesome though!!!

I vowed over and over to stop the weight gain.  But I'm ashamed to say that it kept creeping up and up.

I took steps to try to eliminate the weight.  I just struggled.  I rode in Pedal to Preservethe following year, 2010  (I have no pictures of me doing it)   I had gained even more.     

I never gained everything back as evidenced in this 2011 or 2012 picture. But I had done some serious weight gain!

My salvation during this time was that I never stopped exercising.  I still rode my bike.  I had started going to zumba religiously.  I was still moving  and being active.  I was just gaining.  Weight is lost in the kitchen....NOT the gym and I was living proof!

In 2013  I decided to start losing weight for ME.  I didn't care what anyone else thought.  This was a mission for ME.   My weight started to drop again.  I was well on my way.   Things were looking GRAND for me and my weight loss.  I was featured in a newspaper article talking about my weight loss.  I had this in the bag I was on my way back to my goal weight!!!!!

Yup.....a picture from the article.  Not the grandest picture...but it was out there for the world to see.

Remember when I said I 'had this'?   I thought I did.  But my already crumbling marriage took a blow that no marriage should EVER have to endure.....and I lost my focus again.

I'd like to say that I got that focus back.  But I didn't. Once again I kept moving.  I was running.  I was going to zumba.  I was riding my bikes.  I was walking.  But the weight was not coming off. 

I ran in 5K's and even a few 10K's and the weight just wasn't dropping......

 In mid 2014 I started to lose weight again.......

Then my life changed drastically.  My marriage ended I was forced to admit to the world what I had known for years that I was in a dead end relationship and leaving that relationship!      Life was upside down and I still couldn't get a grip on it...but I kept moving!!!!  I kept pushing....but gained again. 

2015 was rough for my weight.  I regained what I lost in 2014.....maybe I needed that year to come to terms with where I was in life.  My life had turned upside down in so many ways.  I had to come to terms with being single.  I had to come to an understanding with the dating world (wow.....just wow....you can purchase the book I wrote about that experience here. I had to figure out where I stood in this world.  And my weight suffered.

It took quite a bit of time....but in October of 2015  it  clicked and I got back on track.  AND....I met Jason!

I was in amazing shape.  We hiked mountains 

 And then we started to ride bikes together!

We were on FIRE!

And then we both switched jobs in 2017. The evening walks got a lot shorter due to our long commutes.  The weekend rides and hikes happened less and were shorter also due to the lingering tiredness from the long work weeks.   We still moved...but not as much and it started to show in my weight.  I started to gain!

2018 rolled around and I was so sure I was going to be successful.  But the year turned out to be me maintaining my weight but  losing some of my fitness levels.  I saw it happening and just lacked the willpower to stop the train.  I DID buy a new bike and plan on using that new bike in 2019 to get healthy!

In may of 2019  I got really serious about losing weight....again.  But the weight dropped slowly.  Some of that is my age...but I took a decidedly different approach to weight loss this time around.  I was not restricting anything.  This was moderation.  I still had a piece of cake here and there. I also still had a reese's cup on occasion. But it was not everyday and I learned that it IS possible to eat one Reece's Cup out of a package....the one that is left doesn't go bad and will be waiting for you when you want it!   Amazing discovery!

2019 saw me making progress on the bike.  I rode and I learned.   We rode as often as possible!

I tried to walk as much as possible on my lunch breaks also.

At the end of the year we purchased an exercise bike.....this is going to help boost me into a new stratosphere.  My long work days won't be a hindrance anymore to me getting a good workout in and I couldn't be more excited!

2019 did not see me reach my goals...but I learned some huge lessons.  I feel so much more equipped to handle this journey and carry it into a maintenance phase.

See, I told you...it was a journey!   It IS a journey.  It is emotional to write and read this.  It is hard to see some aspects of the journey.  But I am in awe at the journey.  I am amazed to see the confidence on my face when I was a thin woman.  It is definitely torture to see the weight creep back on and my continual lack of change.  But through it all I an see the value of the effort.

This journey has shaped me into the person that I am right now!   I am now making this journey PERSONAL.  This weight loss is for ME!  This journey is because I want to live a long and active and healthy life!    I am in control of the next chapter of this book.  I can write it as a overweight woman or I can write it as a healthy woman.  The choice is mine!   Stay tuned!

Foodie Friday: Red Beans and Rice

With the cooler (ok cold) weather upon us, it was time to dig deep into my recipes and come up with a hearty, warm and filling meal.  At the same time, we had decided to start to incorporate more vegetarian meals into our daily life.  I am not used to creating a vegetarian meal.  I have almost always cooked in a very basic ‘meat and potatoes’ style.  What in the world was I going to come up with? 

I was up for the challenge!   I scoured the internet and I scoured cookbooks and an idea began to develop in my head.  I was going to make Red Beans and Rice and I was going to utilize my instant pot!   Oh my word, my mouth was drooling as I came up with my plan and recipe!

This recipe is amazing because it utilizes only 5 simple ingredients!  Yes, only five!   In fact, these ingredients are so simple that most kitchens will have the items in their cupboards as basic staple items!  I absolutely love recipes that I can literally say that I have no food in the house but then create a full meal!  This is one of those recipes that allow me to do it!

Even better?  This recipe uses the Instant Pot so it fills the need for a super quick and easy meal on those busy nights when the last thing you want to do is cook.  This meal is really that easy.  The prep work takes 5 minutes…MAYBE.  And then you walk away and 25 minutes later you have dinner.  Can it get any better than that for a home cooked meal?   

Oh yeah, it can!   It’s also delicious!

The flavor in this Red Beans and Rice recipe comes from one ingredient, salsa.  The control over the heat and flavor of this dish is all centered on the salsa that the cook uses for as an ingredient.  Personally, we like our foods a bit on the spicy and hot side, so I used a hot salsa that we frequently get.  It has great flavor and I knew that it would be a great base for this dish.   But if you like things less spicy, it is perfectly fine to choose a medium or mild salsa.    This is a personal preference,  chose your salsa based on your taste buds!

In our house, the leftovers from this dish are quickly consumed!  This has definitely become a new favorite!

Red Beans and Rice

Ingredients

·    1 1/4 cup dry Red Kidney Beans

·    1 1/2 cup dry Brown Rice

·    1 cup Salsa

·    3 cups Vegetable Broth

·    2 cups Water

Instructions

·    Add the dried Beans and Rice to the bottom of your Instant Pot.

·    Gently pour the Vegetable Broth and Water over the Rice and Beans, then give everything a good stir.

·    Next, add the Salsa into the pot. Do not mix!

·    Close the Instant Pot, set the valve to Sealing, and use the Manual Mode to cook on High for 25 Minutes.

·    Once the cook time finishes, let the Instant Pot release pressure for an additional 10 Minutes (leave the “Keep Warm” feature on).

·    Finally, move the valve from Sealing to Venting to release all remaining pressure, and serve the Beans and Rice warm. Garnish with anything you desire!

For more recipes, visit my recipe page!

New Years resolutions versus monthly goals

Welcome to the new year!  The new year is typically the time that people make resolutions.  It is the time that they set goals.  It is the time that they come up with their grand plans for being healthy, fit, active…whatever they want to be.  Nope, not doing it.  I’m not setting any new year’s resolutions per se. You see, a resolution for the whole year is HUGE and a long term event.  I don’t work well that way.  I absolutely want to reach my goals in 2020.  I absolutely want to make 2020 ‘my year’….but I’m not making resolutions.  What I WILL be doing is to continue my monthly goals.  I started this a year or two ago and having MONTHLY goals works really well for me.  It allows me to try again the next month if I really mess up (instead of waiting for the next year!)  and it gives me goals that I can easily identify and work on.    I try to keep my goals quite attainable and manageable.  I love the goals that really push me to my limit but let me be really honest…..when I mess up with those hard ones, I tend to throw up my hands and give up….since I can’t ‘win’.   This is bad for me!  SOOOO….I created a set of monthly goals that are designed to keep me on track and pushing forward towards a healthier life.  I sometimes do tweak them and adjust them accordingly.  But for the most part they stay the same each month.

 Since it is the beginning of the month, that means it is time to review the goals I had for the month of December and renew my vow to complete these goals during the month of January. 

Monthly Goals:

1.        Track every bite I eat-   I almost slipped up on this one a BUNCH of times.  So many times I was a day behind in my tracking and I almost gave up…but I kept telling myself, “This is a freebie goal…..it takes just a few minutes of your time….DO IT!”   So I did it.  And I’m proud to say that I have managed to mark this one as a victory for the month!  GO ME!

2.       Savings:   My mission was is to grow my savings.   My savings took a hit with a very large car repair bill for the old Honda and the down payment for the new car (and insurance for the new car).  Couple that with the cost of Christmas (gifts and whatnot) and I feel like it was just CRAZY and that I was barely keeping my head afloat.  BUT, while it may not be huge….December does show a gain in my savings account!

3.       Weigh Less than I do now.  I amended this goal during the month of December.  I amended it to be that I just wanted to maintain my weight through this month of birthdays and holidays!   December was the month to hang on tight!    Well…… I barely squeezed this one out!  I lost a half pound!

4.       Be active at least 3 times a week.  (20 minutes or more).  This can be anything.  It could be an intense workout or a simple lunchtime walk.  20 minutes of activity….3 times a week.   Uhhhh yeah.   How about we break it down into weeks. 

a.       Week 1- I failed miserably.  NOTHING

b.       Week 2 – We got our indoor bike this week and I managed three good rides and 2 lunchtime walks!  I was on fire! (ha…not really but I was moving more than normal!)

c.       Week 3 -  There were no lunchtime walks…but we hiked once and I rode that exercise bike 4 times! 

d.       Week 4- Christmas week……no bike rides …no lunchtime walks…..I was a slug!

e.       Week 5…which is only three days.   I nailed those three days!

So you can see that this was not exactly a win.   But at least it wasn’t a colossal failure!

5.       Keep my eating in check for @ least 6 days a week.  When I say keep my eating in check.  I try to keep my calories between 1200 and 1500 calories a day.  So to be in check I need my calories to be under 1500 calories.    Out of the 31 days…I only managed to keep my calories in check for 11 days!   YIKES!   I wasn’t totally out of control.  My calories only went over 2000 on about 2 or 3 days!  But still….I failed miserably at this goal!

6.       Average 5K steps a day.   I set my step count at 5K.   Yes, I know that they recommend 10K steps a day.  That’s fine….but five thousand is a stretch for me a LOT of days!  I also set it to an average…because that gives me a chance to ‘catch up’ if I just don’t walk much one day.   I started calculating my steps for the month a few days before then end of the month.  Would you believe with three days left in the month I found myself woefully short of steps. Ok, it wasn’t that bad….I was somewhere near 4500 steps as an average.  I calculated it up and figured out what I would need each of the last three days…and I went to work.  We walked a lot on Sunday….at the mall and in antique stores since it was raining!  I folded laundry and put each item away one at a time….hey 10 steps from the bed to the closet times 10 pieces of laundry adds up!  I made up a few of my necessary steps…but I still needed 5602 steps on Monday and Tuesday….and I worked both of those days…..so a desk job….a long commute in my car….and RAIN!   It was hard fought...but I somehow pulled it out!

My goals for January will be the same.  

1.        Track Every Bite

2.       Build my Savings

3.       Weigh less at the end of the month  (who cares how much as long as it is less!)

4.       Be active at least 3 times a week  (This may be bumped up to 4  in an upcoming month).

5.       Keep my eating in check at least 6 days of the week!

6.       Average 5,000 steps a day!  

So you can see that my goals for the month are not difficult.  They are easily attainable.  They are not rigid.  They are there to simply keep me going in the right direction.  They are designed to allow me to stumble, because this journey to lose weight is all about stumbling and then picking ourselves back up to persevere toward victory!   Onward and upward toward a better me!

Weekly weigh in

What a week!  I hope and trust that everyone had a fabulous holiday week!  It was a crazy one for me.  I took some time off work but I feel like I was running the whole time we were off work!   NUTS I tell ya!   It was a good one though…lots of love, laughter and…..FOOD!  

Oh yes, the holidays bring food and since this is a weight loss site, I have to be honest about it all!   So let’s get to it!

Over the weekend I feel like I did really well.  We stayed busy and I never really overate.  We hit up some stores to complete our errands and just to stay busy and active.  Yup, that included an antique shop where we roamed….and I tried on some more hats.  What is it with me and hats at antique shops?

On Sunday we went to Harpers Ferry to walk around.  Ok ok ok…we also went to see the remnants of the carnage that was a train derailment on a large bridge.  We had a lot of fun.  For the first time in years I have really WANTED to pull out my camera and just play around with angles and textures and d

On Monday I went up to my mom’s house and helped her get the house and some food ready for Christmas…which she was hosting.  We of course went out to eat….the choice was Mexican!  

And I took care of my brothers cat while he was out of town. (I did that on Christmas day also!)

I may have gotten into the cookies that day!  Ohh and of course the Mexican food didn’t help!  I tried to right the wrong and prepared a really healthy/light/nutritious meal for that evening to counter balance it though.  My weight was holding steady!  AHHH what a relief….but was the relief short lived?

On Christmas Eve I stayed at home and spent a lot of time in the kitchen getting stuff ready for our Christmas eve at home.  (I also did a few small things for Christmas day.)   I was planning on taking pictures and filming stuff…but that just didn’t happen!  I didn’t even get a picture of us opening our gifts that night! OOPS!

Christmas day started early for me.  I was in the kitchen mixing up bread down bright and early!  I didn’t stop there…I prepped a few dishes for the Christmas meal and by 9Am we were heading up to my mom’s house where we continued to prep for the holiday meal.  

We had a great time with family and yes…the food!  It was a nice day….again, no pictures!  I had my camera with me, but I didn’t have the time to pull it out and take a single solitary picture!

My calories were a bit high.  For most days I was up around 1700-2000 calories.   This doesn’t sound so horrible, but for me that range puts me at a maintain or gain.  It is hit or miss when I eat at that calorie range…..so I was not sure where I was going to be for my official weigh in on Friday.  But here we go….

So a gain of 1.8 pounds.  Not exactly what I wanted!   But I’m ok with it.  It was a holiday and I was still keeping it under control for the most part.  I bet there are people that stepped on the scales and saw MUCH higher gains….I have in the past years.  FURTHERMORE….my goal for the month of December was to maintain my weight.   Guess what?  At the beginning of the month I was 240.4 and on Friday I was 240.2. That is BETTER than a maintain.  I LOST!    Ok, I can’t celebrate yet…..we have to wait until I do an unofficial weigh in on New Year’s day to celebrate and count it as a LOSS for the month of December!

So now that the holiday is over, it is time to really get to work on this weight!  2020 is going to be my year!  I’m going to lose this weight once and for all!  I am going to better my fitness levels!  I am going to rock out this healthy living thing!

2019 Reflections

2019 is coming to a close!  Where in the world did this year go???  It’s absolutely crazy!  I blinked and months upon months passed by!   I swear, the older I get the faster time goes by.

A few weeks ago I started a tag on Youtube that was all about reflecting upon the past year and looking forward to the new year.   It was meant and created to generate positive responses.   I am not going to simply recreate the questions and answers here.  What is the fun in that?   Instead, I am going to create some similar thoughts and positive questions for myself to reflect further.    I will tell you though….some of my answers on that video were good……so if you would like…you can follow the link and watch that video here.  

But right now it’s time to reflect!  And by all means….feel free to steal the questions and post your own answers!  But let me know so I don’t miss your post!

1.        What is one thing that you did right in the year 2019?  

For the first time in my adult life, I feel as if I actually got a handle on my food addiction.  Now I’m not saying that I have totally conquered and eradicated this addiction.  No, quite the contrary, that addiction is still a very real part of who I am.  I doubt I will ever eradicate it totally.  Instead I feel as if I was able to learn some valuable lessons and techniques for dealing with that addiction.  The first and biggest thing I did was to stop saying “I CAN’T have it.”  I can have anything I want.  I changed it to “You have to CHOOSE if you want it.”   Some days the want to eat the food won out. Other days the healthy living won the battle.  Either way, it became a choice!   The other thing that I did to help learn to control this addictive impulse was to really sit down and make it a practice to tell myself that ‘you don’t have to eat 6…one will suffice.  There WILL be more tomorrow.”    The best example of this one is Reece’s Cups.  I can buy a King sized package and eat ONE and not worry about the others until a few nights later.  Yeah, sometimes Jason does eat the other three but I don’t feel the rush to gobble them up…why?  Because I have trained myself to continually tell myself. “They will gladly sell you more at the store…..this is not the last whatever on earth!”   You would be surprised how well that works!   You may also be surprised to learn how empowering this is!

2.       Name One thing that you did that made you feel proud?  

I got on a mountain bike and rode.  It wasn’t pretty!  It wasn’t fast!  It wasn’t exactly skillful!  But I got on that bike and I went up and down trails that were at times petrifying!  Oh yeah, I cried… but I did it!  I have a long way to go…but I started this past summer and for that I am proud! (video proof right here…and if you haven’t watched it, I suggest you do so….It cracks me up every time I see the video!) but I did it!  I have a long way to go…but I started this past summer and for that I am proud!

3.       Did you set any goals for the year 2019 that you reached?

I didn’t  actually set any yearly goals.  However,  I DID set some monthly goals.  One of them was to track every day.  While I didn’t exactly reach that 100%....I missed one or two days I think…..well maybe not…but I think!  Ok, I couldn’t leave it at an “I Think”  So I went back to all of  my monthly goal review posts.  I am going to call December a victory…because I tracked everything up to this point…I’m not going to fail now!  No sirree!    So out of the 12 months…I managed to totally ace 10 months.  There was ONE day in march that I missed and I went completely rogue for about a week or two in May.     This is still a massive victory.  You see, I didn’t let the little snafu of missing one day and then missing a week or two a few months later.  I picked myself back up and I started tracking again.  I call that a victory!

4.       Name one thing you wish you would have done in 2019?   This question is NOT to make me look back with regret….but to make me look forward to 2020 with the thought that ‘not another year will pass me by without doing such and such.      

 There is really only one really big regret…and that is that I did NOT reach my goal weight!   I am happy with my progress in learning to deal with my food addiction.  I think that is huge.  Honestly, that is amazing!   Where the regret comes in is that I didn’t’ start sooner.  I didn’t focus a little harder.  I didn’t reach my goal.  I have actually lost about 15-20 pounds for this year and for that I couldn’t be happier.  But NEXT year, I want to be at goal when I’m writing a reflection post!

5.       Are you setting any new goals for the year?

   I do not plan to set any yearly goals.  I like the monthly goals that I have developed for myself.  They are working well for me.  They give me freedom to live my life yet still help guide me to a healthier existence.  I may start to tighten the reigns on some of them though.  Maybe I need to up the ante and make my workout 4 or 5 times a week instead of 3!  Time will tell…stay tuned!

6.       What is one thing you hope and wish for in 2020.  

Well since this is a weight loss website….I hope to lose lots of weight and to be amazingly fit!   And yes, my plans include getting there.   

So there you have it, my reflections on the year behind us and a wee little look into how I want the future to look!    It really is good for the soul to look back and reflect.  It gives us the opportunity to see our progress in a way that we sometimes overlook.  It gives us the chance to look at ways to improve ourselves for the upcoming year.  Now go out and reflect!  

Holiday Wishes