My loosey Goosey Plans for Weight Loss

 It has been about 10-12 days since I decided to take control of my weight issues and actually do something about it.   I didn't make any huge vows to start big and drop my calories to a certain level.  I didn't make any great plans to exercise for such and such length of time.  I didn't even promise to drink a specified amount of water.  I simply said that I was going to work to track my food and come what may. 

That is what I did.  I tracked my food.  Period. The end.  I did nothing else to further my weight loss.  I was just bluntly honest with my tracking (including the cough drops that I inhaled like candy due to this never ending cough).   I simply tracked my food.  Now historically speaking, I do tend to tighten the belt with my calorie intake when I am tracking.  That is due to a combination of being cognizant of what I am eating  but also the feeling of not wanting to have to admit what I really ate.  I am sure that happened this last week.  And I will say that I dropped 2.1 pounds.   A victory because any loss is a victory.    

My weekend was only so so in terms of my eating.....but I tracked it.    With that said, I know that it is time to tighten the belt so to speak.  It is time to roll into phase two of making small changes in my habits to enact a change within my body.    So what change will it be this week?   Water consumption?  Exercise?  What shall it be!

I would love it to be exercise, however I am still battling this crud that started about a week and a half ago.  The dry hacking cough is now a wet loose cough that produces nothing and just rattles my chest.  (Yeah, so much fun....note the sarcasm!)  During this weekend I was outside doing a few things in the yard such as carting lawn furniture to the shed, pulling tomato cages and trellis' from the garden and dragging in hoses.......basically winterizing the yard.  I noticed that while I felt fine (other than the cough) when I started doing the work, after a bit of anything more than a simple walk (anything strenuous) that my  chest would tighten up and hurt.  (Which is honestly no wonder with all this coughing and hacking that I am doing).   So exercise is not really in the cards for me right now.  I will continue my daily walks with the dog....and maybe even throw in one on my lunch break here and there (which I do on occasion.),  But exercise, not a focus at the moment.

Water?  Should it be water?   Nope, I am letting that one evolve on it's own.  

Instead of those things, my next focus will be on lowering my calories.  Like before I am not vowing to eat at a certain level of calories.  I am not promising to never have cake.  I will not be attesting to eating a certain amount of fruits and veggies or upping my protein into the stratosphere.  I am not promising anything.  I am just saying that it may be time to make an effort to reduce my calorie consumption and to eat as nutritiously as possible.   

Yes, I know that my plan is extremely loosey goosey.  I know it's crazy and unorganized.  I know that it's not scientific.  But I know that it's what I need at the moment.  I have been writing this blog for almost 20 years.  I have made the vows and the promises over and over for years upon years.  And it hasn't worked.  I have studied and practiced the art form of weight loss for those same years (longer really, because I was working on weight loss before I started this blog)......so I know what needs to be done.  I have written scads of words about it.  I have even posted videos for years  on youtube about my weight loss efforts.  Yet I have struggled for so many of those years. (I have also had victorious years and posts thank heavens.)  But the promises.  The challenges.  The goals.  The plans.   They haven't worked in recent years, so it's time to do something totally different.  It's time to  throw out the guide and do something totally different.   And here we are...it's time to be loosey goosey. 

I have been utterly lax with taking pictures of my days and life, so there is no picture to accompany my loosey goosey post.  So I will leave you with a pictures of my Goofy Gus, otherwise known as Zoey, our dog!

9/19/2025  Her 3rd birthday

 

 

Lazy bum sleeping on the couch

Staring me down

 

The Power of Words and a New Job

 I survived my first week of work!  It was nerve wracking at moments.  Fun at other moments.  Tiring each day.  And well, if I want to be honest, it wasn't a terrible return to the working world. (Although I would still love to be able to NOT have to work!)   But one thing that really hit home this week was how damaged I am from my last job.  I've always known that words have the power to damage us deeply, but in all my years on earth I never really saw it as clearly as I did this week,my first week of training for my new job.

 So lets start with my new job.   I left early that first day.  I had to drive to Harrisburg (about 60 miles from my house) for training for the complete first week, which due to the holiday was actually only a 4 day work week.    I found the building with no problem and even had time to swing into a local store to use the bathroom so that I wouldn't have to walk in, introduce myself and immediately have to ask for the restrooms.  The commute wasn't difficult, only one day did I run into any issues (on the way home) that caused my drive to be longer.  The trainer was laid back and nice.  And most of the people in my training class are super nice.   As I suspected, it was nice to be with people again.  Working from home is fabulous, but it is very isolating.  (That said, I do still kinda wish I were working from home still....but I can see the benefits of working in the office..WITH PEOPLE.)

Training was not too difficult.  I have worked in a bank so much of the basic information that was given over the week was just a refresher.  Which is good as I haven't worked in a bank setting for about 8 years.   Really for me I need to learn the system that we will be using, the updated regulations and how this bank wants to proceed with various things.  So being fair it wasn't too terribly mentally taxing for me.   That being said, I was still totally focused and trying to pick it all up.  That, combined with commute and of course just the act of working again after 6 months and I was wiped out!  By Wednesday night I was sitting in my chair in the living room and was sound asleep by 7:30.  I remember Jason saying "You better wake up, otherwise you will have problems sleeping tonight."    I answered "I"m not sleeping, I"m kinda listening to the TV."   Of course I was sleeping!  But he was wrong about one thing, I slept soundly all night long also and only woke up about a half hour before the alarm.   But overall, the training wasn't too difficult and I feel that I got a good grasp on everything that we went over in class during the four days.

The problem for me was the residual damage of the powerful words that I heard for the last two years at my last job.  I wrote a few posts ago about the stress of life for the last few years.  (you can read that here)  In that post I talked about the associate that was directly above me in the line of power.  She was vicious.  She was cruel.  She was downright mean in the way that she said things to us.  My friend Linda (the same Linda that I just had a weekend girls get away with) has actually in the last six months used the word abusive in regards to the treatment of this 'superior'.  (And yes, I had gone higher up to discuss the treatment, but it just made things worse with this lady of power,  who was aptly named Karen.)   I had gotten away from it when I got laid off, and I thought that the last 6 months had been a time of healing for me.  How wrong I was.

The first day of our actual training was going well.  I was feeling comfortable and dare I say maybe even enjoying myself.....and then it happened.   We were given an activity to complete on our own.  It was a simple activity.   It was a scavenger hunt within the intraweb of the company.  We weren't being graded on it, it was just so that we could get familiar with the intraweb.   It should have been fun. It should have been easy.  Yet the task threw me into a spiral of panic.  Karen had beat it into my  that I made constant errors, that I was a screw up, that I was basically worthless.  Even though she kept giving me more responsibility and jobs....I know, her words didn't match her actions, but dang if those words don't hurt! (She also did it to other people, so I knew even at the time that she was just mean and it wasn't just me....but still....those words hit hard.)    So I sat with that activity in front of me at this new job, stomach rolling with fear.  I feared that I would get every answer incorrect.  I feared that I would be the only one that didn't even have my scavenger hunt done when it was time to review.   I feared that I couldn't find the answers.  I feared so much ......over a silly learning game. 

But do you know what?  I finished my scavenger hunt just fine, and in the time limit (heck, even earlier than the time limit).   I had found all of the answers.  I even got them all right!  I breathed a sigh of relief!  I talked to Linda about it on the drive home.  She told me that she had gone through the same thing when she went to her new place of employment.  I was happy to hear that I wasn't alone.   

The next day was the same thing.  When it came time for me to break off and do something individually I was driven to panic.  Yet I persevered and didn't let my panic derail me.  I again passed the roadblock with flying colors.  I wasn't struggling.  I wasn't getting anything incorrect.  I wasn't even the straggler in the class who was always painfully bringing up the rear with any task/activity.  Every task.  Each day.  The panic set in.  I kept up a constant stream of positive talk to myself, reminding myself that other than my years under 'Karen' that I had never had a problem and that all of the tasks that I had been asked to do previously in the week I had managed with ease.  Slowly throughout the week it started to get better.  I was less panicked each time.  I had figured out in my heart that I was more than capable and that it really just words in my head that were telling me that I was incapable.  

I don't think for even a second that the damage from the harmful words has been fixed.  I am pretty sure that Karen's words will come flying back and hit me square in the forehead time and time again.  But I'm not going to let her win!   I will keep pushing forward and proving to myself that everything that she said was a falsehood.

 Week one is completed and I am heading into week two.  This is still a week of training.  This week will be divided between my home office (three days) and the Harrisburg training classroom (two days).  So two days will require me to travel.  Monday and Tuesday will have me in the office shadowing my mentor.  Wednesday and Thursday I will be back in the classroom training and then starting Friday I will be back in the office and the mentor will be shadowing me for two days (scheduled two...but if Karen was right, it will be longer....hahahaha).   After that I should be good to go in the office, at least until the next training class for the next component of my job comes up which should be in August...then it will be back in the classroom for the next step in my training.

 I am excited to get into my office and meet my coworkers and get a feel for how the environment is at my actual office and that will happen on Monday!   And of course this upcoming week will mark my first 5 day week back!  And ok, it feels good to be know that I am once again working and NOT unemployed.  Now just to get those mean words out of my head!  But I am working on it.

 

Ohhh......and Zoey, my crazy dog.  We were super worried about her.  She hasn't been alone during the day much.  Short spurts and times in the last 6 months, up to about 8 hours but nothing longer. Remember for  most of her life I have been working at home and within 20 feet of her 24/7.  She did really well during the first week.  No messes.  She was super crazy excited to have me come home but she seems to be handling it well and while she is obviously saddened to see me go in the morning (oh yes, she puts on the most pitiful face) she doesn't seem to be affected overall!

Tenative steps and a birthday

​Zoey is one year old!!!!   Yay!   We celebrated with her of course!  

She had cake!  

And a steak dinner.  

She got a toy and a huge bone as presents!  The toy was a hit, the bone was so big that it intimidated her!  Hahaha!

.   

Luckily the cake was a dog cake, so I wasn’t tempted!  Although it smelled good and was all human food ingredients to make it, so I should have tasted it!  

In the midst of the birthday girl celebrations, I saw a post about a gal I knew from college who passed away. I knew she had been on the hospital but didn’t know why.    Curious I looked at her FB feed and saw that someone had mentioned that she had open heart surgery…within the last days of her life.   She was my age.   How sobering!   My age!    This is not the first person my age that had had heart surgery in the last few months!    When I saw the first one (triple bypass) I was like ‘wow, that’s a wake up call’.  That gal survived.   This second one didn’t.   Another wake up call.  And honestly, this second one has scared me!  

I fell off the rails about a year ago.  I’ve been struggling with my weight.   I got back with the exercise in January…and was religious about getting it done every day until June or July.  Then I slipped.   The last two months have been a free for all.    Ok, maybe not that bad.  But there was little to no tracking.  No exercise.  Very few healthy habits.  I still thought about wanting to lose though!  I just didn’t do anything about it!

The wake up call of this gal that passed away is stuck in my head.   I can’t get it out of my head.  And you know what?  That’s not a bad thing.    

I have started to track my food.  I’m on day four! 

I’ve gotten back to exercising.   I have exercised for three days!  

Healthy habits…such as water?  I’m making an effort to drink more.   That is a work in progress…but I’m making steps in the right direction!

An Extreme Way to get steps!

Here we are and we are already closing out the second week of the new year!   Let me tell you, it has been a super eventful first two weeks of the year!   I've been killing it with my weight loss efforts.  We added to our family.   It's been....well it's been nuts!

Exercise

I have been absolutely killing it with my activity levels this year!  At the end of December I started to get things ready and lined up.   There wer some changes with furniture coming and I was losing my dedicated spot in the living room to do my exercises and really spread out.  So, I got a tv and made a nice spot for myself in our nearly empty family room.  (Nope, not much furniture in there yet).  We also got some bowflex adjustable hand weights.  I used my money from work (they give a certain amount of money each year that we can spend toward something fitness related....weights...bikes...fitness watches....gym memberships, etc).  So I knew that come the new year that there would be NO EXCUSE!    I also joined a step challenge on Youtube.  My personal goal is 8K steps each day.  That doesn't seem like a lot...but for someone that was struggling to get past 3k steps and whenever I managed to get to 5K I thought it was a big deal.  Thus, you can see that 8000 steps is ahuge thingfor me!   I started on the first of the year and I have been absolutely slaying the exercise/activity!  There is only 1 day that I have missed my 8K steps!  But when I average it out, I am KILLING it!   I have also chosen to do some type of formal exercise every day!  And the only days that I have NOT done something in terms of formal exercise are days where my steps are already through the roof.   BY formal exercise I mean a workout video....zumba, walking video....something like that.     My steps have increased and while my legs hurt the first few days, they are slowly getting better!   I was so determined to get my steps that I went to the extreme!   

New Family Member

About a week ago, Jason came flying into the office. He had found a Newfoundland puppy!   Now let me backtrack a bit.  I have ALWAYS known that Jason wanted and planned to get another newfoundland.  His first newfoundland had passed away before I met Jason and on one of our first dates (I think it was date number two) we actually had a conversation about my feelings toward big, slobbery, hairy dogs.   (I wonder if he would have halted and had no further dates if I had said that it would be an issue.  HMmmmmm )   So I have always known that it was just a matter of time before this would come to pass.  While we lived in our apartment he talked about it and actually switched to other dog breeds. (our apartment had a 40 pound weight limit for animals).   We finally got our own house...with land and I knew he would ramp up the talks!  Recently he had started talking about a rottweiler.    I knew it was coming soon.  I have even laughed and said "I expect you to come home from work one day with a puppy int he car...something that you run into in your travels to peoples houses".    So when he came flying into my office I wasn't surprised!  We went to see the puppy that night and the next night we welcomed a 33 pound newfoundland puppy into our house!

Meet Zoey. She was born September 19, 2022 and currently weighs 35 pounds. (She will weight over 100 pounds when she is full grown).

So there has been lots of dog walking in the yard. (the yard is not fenced).   OK, maybe getting a puppy is a bit of an extreme way to get more steps!  

Eating and Weigh In

My eating has been doing really well.  I have been tracking EVERYTHING and I've been managing to stay within my points budget most days.  I have had a few bobbles.  But I have always said that I am not striving for perfection, I am aiming for sustainability! What I have done the last few weeks have been perfectly sustainable!

So how have I done on the scale?   Well I have dropped just about 5 pounds in 13 days!  I had a moment of disappointment when I stepped onto the scale and saw a loss of just shy of 2 pounds for this week.  I wanted more!  But 2 pounds (1.8) is quite respectable and is a very healthy rate to lose weight!  So I will take it!

Life is still extremely crazy.   I'm trying to shuffle so much. I'm stressed about so many things.  But I am determined this year to take care of myself first and foremost!   Thus far I'm winning!