Tenative steps and a birthday

​Zoey is one year old!!!!   Yay!   We celebrated with her of course!  

She had cake!  

And a steak dinner.  

She got a toy and a huge bone as presents!  The toy was a hit, the bone was so big that it intimidated her!  Hahaha!

.   

Luckily the cake was a dog cake, so I wasn’t tempted!  Although it smelled good and was all human food ingredients to make it, so I should have tasted it!  

In the midst of the birthday girl celebrations, I saw a post about a gal I knew from college who passed away. I knew she had been on the hospital but didn’t know why.    Curious I looked at her FB feed and saw that someone had mentioned that she had open heart surgery…within the last days of her life.   She was my age.   How sobering!   My age!    This is not the first person my age that had had heart surgery in the last few months!    When I saw the first one (triple bypass) I was like ‘wow, that’s a wake up call’.  That gal survived.   This second one didn’t.   Another wake up call.  And honestly, this second one has scared me!  

I fell off the rails about a year ago.  I’ve been struggling with my weight.   I got back with the exercise in January…and was religious about getting it done every day until June or July.  Then I slipped.   The last two months have been a free for all.    Ok, maybe not that bad.  But there was little to no tracking.  No exercise.  Very few healthy habits.  I still thought about wanting to lose though!  I just didn’t do anything about it!

The wake up call of this gal that passed away is stuck in my head.   I can’t get it out of my head.  And you know what?  That’s not a bad thing.    

I have started to track my food.  I’m on day four! 

I’ve gotten back to exercising.   I have exercised for three days!  

Healthy habits…such as water?  I’m making an effort to drink more.   That is a work in progress…but I’m making steps in the right direction!

I couldn’t do it

​how many posts have I started with ‘another crazy week’?  I honestly think I need to go back and count!  It seems as if life is just nuts and doesn’t slow down!

I’ve been a bit stressed of late.  Zoe just turned 6 months old this mi th and she has decided to exert her stubborn will…..on me!    On no, she is an Angel (mostly) for Jason.  With me she is a little hellion!  I turn my back and she has her nose pressed against the bird cage.  I look the other way and she is digging into the recycle bin and shredding cardboard.  Running like a fool on the leash. It’s like every which way it’s something.  Worst of all is our forays outside.  She goes out happily enough.   But when it’s time to come in.  No dice!

So let me explain.  I have her all day …I take her out for her first potty at 5am while Jason is in the shower.  I have no issues with her coming in because she wants her breakfast.   Jaosn leaves at 6:3 and we are fine.  I take her out at about 7:30 and we roll around in the yard for about thirty minutes before I start work.   Once work starts I have very limited time that I can be away from my desk (yes it is monitored).  I get two 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch.  I set an alarm for 13 minutes so I know that my time is about up and to get back to my desk (it was 14 but with Zoe I changed it to 13 in case I am outside).  Zoe was doing fantastic.   She would hear the alarm and immediately turn and walk toward the back door zzz. All was going smashingly well.  Until it didnt.   At the end of last week Zoe decided to start ignoring the alarm and ignoring me.   That alone is bad.  But she also would lay down in the yard and refuse to move.  70 pounds of dead weight!  I was back late from every break and lunch for 4 days.  I was so stressed!   I tried everything and ended up dragging her or carrying her.  On Monday I was dragging her into the house and she slipped her collar.  Luckily she was being stubborn and just laid there and didn’t realize she was free!   I started putting the harness on her every time we went out.   That worked a bit better because the harness has a handle and I literally pick her up and walk dragging her.  She usually starts reluctantly walking when she is in the walking position.  Silly dog…but the being late stresses me out big time!

I’ve also been stressed out over this project 50 thing that I started on March 1.   In particular the stress comes from the learning a new skill.  I chose to learn to knit.   I hate it!  It’s been a chore each and every time I go to pick up the knitting needles!   I dread it.  The time goes so incredibly slow.  I find no enjoyment from it!  I have been pushing through…because maybe I don’t like it because I’m not good at it!   Maybe I just need to knit enough to get me over that barrier and then I will love it! So I have continued on.   This week I came to the conclusion that putting myself through misery is NOT worth it.  Would I have ever learned to live kitting.  Maybe.  But probably not because I abhorred every minute of it!  I instead pulled out my long neglected quilt and started to work on it and loved it!  I had the time of my life.  The time flew!  

Is it a failure? Maybe.  But I’m looking at it as a victory.  I am listening to my mind and my body and doing something to make me happy!