Just call me the Cat Calmer

Today the weather was gorgeous!  I had a run planned.  I knew where I was running, when I was running and how (slow as a turtle through peanut butter).   I was going regardless of the weather so having temps in the 50's was a delightful plus to my day. (I think Christmas morning when I ran it was 20 degrees....lol).    However, my body had other ideas.

We got up and ran some errands in the morning.  Early morning...we went to breakfast and then picked up groceries.   I was doing great.   We got home and Todd had a repair job that he wanted to do on the house.  It required that the cats be locked up for a bit.   Now the cats typically go nuts when we lock them up.  So nuts that on three different occasions I've had them locked up and one or the other has scratched so hard and viciously to get freed that they have started to pull up the tile/linoleum from the edge of the door.  Seriously.   So I took over the very difficult job of going into lock down with the cats....trying to keep the calm.  I laid down on the bed with my kindle and pretty soon they were all curled up beside me.   I had a few tense minutes with the two youngest ones. (Winni and Mertz) At two different times they each got a bit panicky about being locked up...but my tender loving care helped them calm right back down).

Pardon the unmade bed...I was working hard keeping my kitty cats calm and couldn't be bothered with trivial things like bed making!  And I don't know what was happening with my sweatshirt...I was laying on my back, but somehow it got all twisted around on my body.  Oh well.

I honestly don't know if my morning activities (cat calming) set me up for a lazy day.  But I just couldn't function the rest of the day.  I have felt off kilter and just not right.  I ate lunch and then promptly fell asleep on the couch in the living room (a few of the cats followed me).

So my run went out the window.  I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  Why?   My general feeling of lethargy could very well have simply been a side affect of my lazy (but oh so important cat calming duties)....but I'm trying to learn to listen to my body in all ways.  That doesn't just include eating and exercise...it means that when my body is demanding rest I listen to it.  I listened to it today......and I'm feeling much better this evening.

But seriously.....what a waste of a GORGEOUS GORGEOUS day!!!   GRRRRR

Emotion Flare up

Sherry asked me this morning if I'm noticing anything different since I've been doing this running thing. I really thought about it.   Physically, I don't see a difference.  People around me have noticed.  My husband asked me the other day if I was losing weight...because he could see it. (I was happy for the compliment but also shaking my head because what does he think I've been doing with all the healthy food....with all the hours of exercise...constantly logging onto myfitnesspal...haa haa haa).  A coworker also said she noticed my clothes just simply fitting me better and not so tight (which is funnier still because I"m also down a size).   But honestly...I do not see a difference.    The difference I personally see is in my mental state.  Before I started running I was going to give it a try.  I didn't know if it would work.  I wasn't sure of it.  I was just going to attempt.  Somewhere along the way I figured out that I COULD do it.  I had it in me.  There really is an athlete inside me. She's been lurking around trying to come out....I just need to work to set her free.  And I WILL set her free.  That said, Sherry and I talked quite a bit about running.  I'm still not sure that running will be my thing.  I have committed to run through this next weekend when I run a 5k on the battlefield.  I have paid for and committed to run in the Paws on the Pavement 5k on May 18th.  I have also vowed that on August 9th I would run in the Donut Alley Rally.  August 9th will be my determining run/race.  As long as my body cooperates (not including aches and pains), I will be running through August 9th.  At that point I will reevaluate. 

I've been sitting back and thinking about my exercise from last week.  The exercise hell week.  Yes, that exercise that I had to really push myself to do, even through the lethargy and heavy as lead legs.  Why?  I have no conclusive answers.  It could have been just something as simple as my body cycle or it could have been something even more simple as my body was fighting off my husband's cold. (the cold he's had for weeks....and I only hd for 3 days...pays to be healthy and fit!)  It could have been anything.  However, it hit me this morning that last week was a rough week for me emotionally too.  It hit me this morning that the emotions may have played a part in my issues.  I struggled this last week. I struggled with the overwhelming loneliness that is part of my life.  The overwhelming need to be simply held, accepted and supported.  Yes, things that I should be getting in my marriage.  I know they are missing and it bothers me. Last week I wallowed in the sadness.  Last week it got the best of me.  Could that have had something to do with the issues exercising?  I'm not sure.  I don't know how to shake the emotions.  I do know this........I'm pushing through it and I'm NOT GIVING UP!

Lethargy

This past week has been a total lesson in perseverance.  Exercise has not come easily.  I've done it...and I'm proud to say that I did through all the lethargy I managed to  rack up just about 7 hours of exercise between Monday morning and Friday bedtime.  But it was pure will power.  It did not come easily.  It ached, my legs felt heavy and dead.  It was not good.  I took off Thursday from exercise and I was back at it yesterday...just for my run.  Oh my word...I totally fell apart during the run.  I had to stop three or four times and walk.  My breathing got so totally out of whack that I fell apart.  I also attribute my breathing falling apart on some of the lethargy in my legs.  I know that my muscles need good oxygen to be fueled and I know that I was not giving the muscles what they needed (not by choice).

Onward I move though.  I'm taking today off again.  And Tomorrow I'll be back at 'em.   We are going to do a practice 5K because one week from today we will be participating in our 5K.  I've not run a 5k yet.  I've run 2 miles....but not a 5k (which is a hair over 3 miles).  We are OK with what we are doing.  If we have to walk for minute intervals we are OK with it.  We are going to do it...and we know that each time we do do it, we will be bettering ourselves!