Consumed

 How are we already 18 days into the new year?  I feel like the year just started and yet here we are. Other than my eyeballs, it's been a normal couple weeks, but it just feels like it's flying by.  That could be because I am busy with life.  But maybe, it is because I am consumed!

Weight Loss

You know, this blog is about weight loss, so I guess I should start with that.  I lost another pound this week at my official weigh in.  (Go me!)  At my current weight I know that with effort it SHOULD be a lot more than that.  But I am chalking up the singular pound to two things.   Number one, I am in my 50's.  And dang if it's not more difficult to lose weight in your 50's!  But the real reason is reason number two which is, I am not tracking calories.  I am not doing anything 'diet' related.  Nope not one single thing.  Nada.  

Ok, maybe one or two little things now that I think about it, technically.  But then again...technically not.   Ok, let me share what I AM doing and you can decide.    

* I am tracking my food.  On paper.  No fancy weight loss apps.  No calories.  No nuttin'! Every day in my day planner I am simply writing down what I eat.  For example: Breakfast - Special K cereal with milk, Lunch - PB & J, applesauce, banana, Dinner- Roast beef with potatoes and carrots.    I am not measuring how much, I am just indicating what I ate. The only exception is one day when I had some cheese puffs with a sandwich and I wrote beside it 'too many'.  Other than that, I am simply keeping track of what I am eating.

* I am weighing myself.   Officially it is weekly, but I admit to stepping on the scales randomly throughout the week.

* I am trying to be more cognizant of what I am eating in terms of nutrition, such as adding more fruits and veggies.  I am limiting my sweet treat to once on a weekend. (Holy cow did that Dairy Queen Blizzard taste good last night!)   And I am trying to focus on how I am feeling versus eating more food simply because it tastes good or eating simply because the clock says it's a mealtime.  

It's slow.  But I think it's healthier for my mind at this point.  I just celebrated my 20th year of writing on here.  That is 20 years of struggling with my weight.  That is 20 years of tracking calories and trying to limit and restrict food.  It's been 20 years of forgetting who I am and living and breathing weight loss.  It's time for something different.  It's time to get in my head and rewire my brain.

Exercise

I have been slow to start anything really in depth in terms of exercise.  I did start my flexibility and mobility class.  I like the class but have issues with it.

Likes:

    *  I love the 15 minutes of stretching at the end.  She starts us at the top of our body and moves down our body one stretch at a time.  Feels fantastic.

   * Instructor is incredibly friendly.

   * Local small business

Dislikes:

    * Even knowing that I have arthritis in my knees it is very heavy on squats and lunges.  Which don't get me wrong, those things are fantastic and needed.  But my knee twinges after the class and while I am pushing through, I do wonder how long before my knees erupt. Ok ok ok, maybe erupt is a bit dramatic, but I do wonder how long before my knees decide that the period of slight twinges is over and it's time to really scream at me.   I am continuing in the hopes that the benefits of the squats and lunges show up before the knee pain screams!  (It really is a balancing act as I know that squats and lunges will strengthen the muscles which will help support the knee.......etc etc etc)

   *  It's class form but one night a week it is only myself and the instructor.  And the other night it is only myself, the instructor and one other person.  I thrive on the social aspect of a class.

   *I'm a little disconcerted that they (instructor and other class member) are huffing and puffing. Sweating, panting and breathing hard through the class. She keeps asking me if I am sore.....Nope.  Not at all! (other than my knee twinge which I mentioned).   But yeah, I'm disconcerted with their heavy breathing and sweating while I am literally feeling like it's a stroll in the park.  Am I in better shape than I thought? (Maybe I am still feeling the positive effects of that 75 day hard that I did in early 2025).  I even looked at my stats to see how I was handling the class!  

 Sure my heart rate is elevated but looking at my Garmin stats, no more than it is during my morning dog walk!

Or this day where there really is no discernible spike for the class at 6PM. Although looking at the chart  I am trying to figure out why I spiked high heart rates throughout the day. (And the time that is blank is because I had to remove my watch when I took my notary exam....no watches, phones purses, ANYTHING could be on me. I literally could only have my ID in my pocket and my car key) 

Zap Zap of the Eyeball and General Life

I have my laser surgery to fix the holes in my retina on Thursday.  I'm still terrified, but it's not like I have any choice in the matter.  Uncorrected the holes may enlarge and eventually cause retina detachment.  That could adversely affect my eyesight.  Losing my vision terrifies me even more, so laser surgery it is.

I have received all of my required documents for my notary commission. So some day this upcoming week (most likely after the zap zap of my eyeball on Thursday) I will go to be sworn in and then stop at another office to register my signature.  It makes sense to do it that day as I will be going to work late that day due to the zap zap appointment and thus the offices that I need will be open to allow me to get these things done.   

Consumed by my Miniature Dollhouses

Maybe it's a good thing that I am consumed by my dollhouse/miniature stuff.  Otherwise, I would be a wreck about the zap zap appointment.   

Maybe it's a good thing that I am consumed by my dollhouse/miniature stuff.  Otherwise, I would be more focused on food.

Maybe it's a good thing that I ........  oh well you get it!

Yes, I am consumed.  I think about my projects constantly.  What am I currently building.  What am I planning on building.  What do I need to buy.  What do I need to make.  What can I add.  This mansion that I am planning to build is a HUGE project.  I am referring to it as my grand opus.  There are a TON of rooms and I'm not making them tiny.  (Some dollhouses really condense things, I am condensing somewhat but not a whole lot!)  It's fun....and being consumed isn't a bad thing.

Being consumed allows me to occupy my mind in a healthy way. Being consumed allows me to take that focus away from my weight loss journey. The mind consuming  dollhouse/miniatures help me fill the void left when I remove the utter focus on weight loss as I work to retrain my mind.   It allows me to not think and focus about those things that make me sad and depressed in life.  It gives me a healthy creative outlet for my time. (I have always been one that is happiest when I am doing something creative....writing, quilting, crocheting, etc)  And seriously, it's just fun!  I just sit and giggle with glee when I make something or finally put something together to make a scene.  Just the other day I made a runner sled...this is the prototype, I plan on making another one with a few things 'corrected' in the next day or two!  So yeah, consumed!

Life is marching on, fast.  And for the time being, I'm doing ok.   

 

Here's to week two of the new year!

This has been a crazy week.  I knew it was going to be thus, but I didn't realize exactly how crazy it was going to be. I actually wrote about the crazy week here.  No worries though, just busy.  What I didn't account for was one coworker being out sick ALL WEEK LONG and another one being out for one day.  Yikes.  I didn't expect to get hit with some tough news.  It has been crazier than I expected, and I still have Friday to make it through.  But lets get into it.....ohhh and on Thursdays my friend and I are sharing our weigh ins for accountability, so I will share with you how I did this first week of the new year.  So without further ado, lets get into it!

Retina Specialist 

During my normal visit to the optometrist to get new glasses, they told me that I may have a hole in my retina.   I felt confident that all was going to go well.  The optometrist had made the comment that he thought it was a pigment spot and nothing else, but to go to the specialist to be sure.  So on Monday I left work early and went to the specialist.   Numerous tests and two hours later and I was reeling.  

Not only do I have one hole in my retina, I have two.   Furthermore, I have thinning of the retina and he talked about me being per-glaucoma!   He skirted the last two things and said that we will deal with them later, the pressing thing now is the holes in my retina.  They want to fix them before they get worse.  So before I left I scheduled an appointment to get my holes fixed through laser.  Yes, what I had been told by my optometrist was correct, they are going to use a laser to zap the holes and that will fuse the holes shut.  After that, I guess we will start to worry about the other issues.

I got home from the appointment and rolled right into making dinner as it was a bit after 6PM by that point.  I ate dinner and I felt like a zombie.   I couldn't really even function.  I fell asleep in the living room by 7pm.  Jason woke me up for me to move to the bedroom, but otherwise, I slept through to the alarm.   Honestly, I think I was in shock at my news.

I woke up the next morning and felt better and decided to tackle my news by doing a little Dr. Google.     I wanted to know what caused these issues.  What is the treatment for the thinning retina.  I mean, what is happening.  I didn't make it far before I just lost it.   Tears and distress.  (Seriously, I can see the stages of grief/acceptance/whatever you want to call it, clear as day.)  I stopped and just tried to hold myself together as I prepared to go to work.  Yeah, I lost it when my coworkers asked about my results.  Oh well, at least I tried to hold it together.

By later that day I had accepted it (I'm still terrified about the laser thing..but oh well).    And I have actually been able to joke about it quite a bit.  I mean I asked a coworker for help and when she showed me something that was right in front of my face I just looked at her and said "It's my traitorous eyeballs you know".     I also have put the appointment in my work calendar as "zap zap of the eyeball".   So I'm doing ok, not exactly happy and not exactly looking forward to it all, but ok with it.

 

Soul Fusion Foundations

Even  with my trauma and messed up eyeballs, I managed to make it to my first to classes of Soul Fusion. (A class that focuses on flexibility, balance and mobility).   I was nervous.  Number one, I was going by myself and knew no one!  Secondly I was afraid that I was going to fail at everything and not be able to do stuff.    But I was pleasantly surprised.  I was able to complete almost everything she did. (There was one stretch that just didn't work for me....I think my stomach was prohibiting the movement).  In fact, maybe 1/4 of the way through she was like "you are doing great, I may try some other stuff.    I feel like I did well.  My legs were a bit like jelly when I left, but overall I was fine and didn't have any real issue with sore muscles.  I am anxious to see if I notice any difference in my mobility in the coming weeks.   

 Notary Exam

Thursday, in the midst of craziness with people off work, I left and went to take my notary exam.  Do you know how many years it's been since I took an official exam/test?   A lot!   So understandably, I was nervous.  I spent some time the night before doing the review and practice test.  I read through my notes in the morning while at work.   And in the  afternoon I went and took the test.   I passed slick as a whistle (I did miss one question and got a 98%) and it only took me ten of the sixty allotted minutes.    So next up I will get a confirmation email, get my bond paperwork and supplies and I can go and be sworn in.  I'm getting closer.

 Weigh In

This first week of the year I have not tracked a single calorie.  I have however written my food into my day planner.  I have tried to drink a decent amount of water (some days I did good others not as good) and I have really tried to avoid or at least seriously limit my sweets.  I have had one or two small pieces of candy (I'm talking ONE miniature Reece's Cup on one or two days).   But overall, I have done well.  And I am happy to say that I dropped 2 pounds.   So I'm on a roll!

One more day until the weekend and I can't wait!!!  Next week should be a bit more 'normal'.  Or should I say the 'new normal' that has me going to an exercise class twice a week.  :-)   But mostly normal.  The zap zap of the eyeball won't come until the following week.  I plan on doing the same routine of tracking my food but not worrying about calories this week and we shall see how that goes!

But here's to week two of the new year 

 

 

 

Busy week

 I am gearing up for a busy week!  Yeah, I know that I am just finishing up this holiday week, but I am looking forward to this next week and it's gonna be a busy one!

 

Retina Specialist

A few weeks ago I went to the eye doctor for my normal yearly appointment and new glasses.   I was happy (not that it really mattered) that my vision didn't change much.  My prescription was mostly the same.  I got myself some new specs which I really like.  Ok, the main reason that I like them is that this new pair does not have the nose pieces and is instead just the plastic frame that rests on my nose.  Why is this important?  Well it's important because if I am reading of on my ipad I usually just push my glasses up on my head and go with my normal vision.  Yeah, I know that I have progressive lenses and that seems counter productive.  But it just works for me.  The eye doctor is aware and actually encouraged me to read without glasses when I can.  All was going splendidly with my appointment until the eye doctor started to make a comment, and he kept going back and saying the same thing before going onto something else, just to circle back around to the same exact comment.  So I knew he was really thinking and grappling with something.   The comment?   "I think that's probably just a pigment spot".    But he kept going back to it to look again and finally he said, "I just can't be 100% sure that this tiny spot is pigment.  It very well could be a pin hole in your retina."   

Say what?  

Yeah, I very well may have a hole in my retina.  A tiny one right now.  But a hole none the less.  And this possible hole requires me to visit a retina specialist.  I did ask them what happens at this point.  A small hole will usually get bigger and can be the start of a detached retina.  (sounds scary).    They couldn't give advice as they were not the specialist but they did say that typically a wee tiny hole would just be repaired with a zap of a laser to fuse the hole.  Zap Zap and it's done.  They said that the tears/holes that go uncorrected and get bigger can have more invasive repairs (a metal buckle in the eye is what they alluded to...yikes!)  The eye doctors words were "I could be wasting your time by sending to a specialist, but on the flip side I could be a hero for catching this so early."   I quickly assured him that I would rather be safe than sorry....especially since I only get one set of eyes.  Sooooooo.... on Monday January 5th, I am heading to a retina specialist for a 2 hour appointment.   I imagine that I should have some idea of what is happening by the end of the appointment. (I HOPE)

 Soul Fusion Foundations

In my last post I wrote about how I had found a beginners exercise class (very small class size) that focuses on mobility and flexibility.   I have made the commitment and I am looking forward to starting.  I know that it will be ugly.  I won't be able to do all the moves because I have slipped that far. But I am anxious to get rolling so that I can start to see improvements!    The first class is Tuesday the 6th after work and the second class is Thursday after work.    Something new and exciting.

Notary

Also this week is my scheduled appointment to take my notary exam.  Yes, I am set to become a notary in the fine state of Pennsylvania.  I have taken the class.  I have submitted my application.  I am just waiting to take the exam and that exam is scheduled for Thursday January 8th in the afternoon.    The course that I went through offers a refresher guide and a practice exam that they recommend that you do the day or two before you take the exam.  So I have to slip that into my week.  

Blog-i-versary

On January 6th  I will celebrate 20 years of writing and sharing my journey on this forum.  Crazy I know!  So I have to write a post commemorating that for sure!

Normal Hum Drum Life

Of course in the midst of all of that craziness I will still be working my normal 40 hours at work (although lately it has been more like 42-45 hours each week).  I will be making dinners each evening, going on a walk with the dog in the morning, and all the other normal stuff.   So yeah, it's gonna be a busy one!  But amidst the crazy is some exciting changes that will be nice in my life!