Saturday Morning Bright and Early

Saturday has dawned bright and early for me.  I was so looking forward to waking up nice and late.  Sleeping in and greeting the morning after the sun was high in the sky was on the agenda.  However, 6AM and where was I?   Laying in bed, in the dark wide awake.  I gave up and picked up my cell phone and checked email and just in general laid there wishing that I could sleep!.   By 6:30 the old lady jody was hacking up her breakfast beside the bed on the floor.  (Poor kitty cat.....I feel bad for her, but she doesn't seem to be in pain....so we what do you do?)  Todd jumped up and cleaned it up but that was all she wrote.  He went right to the shower (his alarm would have gone off at 7AM anyway) so I just gave up and started some laundry.  So here I sit.   Not really hungry.  Part of me says that I NEED to have breakfast because if I don't I'll just start snacking at the farmers market (that is not good because I'll be with my mom....mom sells baked goods....yummy cupcakes, delicious cookies, scrumptious breads...shall I continue?)  But then the other side says why eat if you are not really hungry.   I'll decide closer to the time when I leave.  Mom is already at the market, but I really just don't feel like sitting there for a long time today (sorry mom) so I'll go in about 9 or 10.  :-)    Of course mom and I will go to lunch. 

Cholesterol......gotta keep that thought in my head today while I make my food choices.  Cholesterol is high...gotta get it down so I can avoid meds!   If I need to chant it  "cholesterol, cholesterol, cholesterol" I will.  Ok, i'll do it in my head, the waiter at a restaurant today may think i'm nuts otherwise.

I can do this.....I haven't done good yesterday......or the day before.  Thursday night I kinda lost control when it came time to grab a snack, I grabbed a 100 cal pack to just have a little something special.  I ate that...and then ate two more of them. That is NOT normal.   I can usually stop at 1.  I'd be too embarrassed to say that I ate three of those suckers.  But 3 I did eat.  "Cholesterol, cholesterol, cholesterol"

Chest pains.....please go away!

Ok, my thankful/good thing in life today:   Friends.  I don't have many friends.  Ok, back track that.  I don't have many friends locally.  (that adds to the depression because I feel like my life is a bit empty).    HOWEVER I had someone reach out via email.  Someone I didn't know....just really touched my heart (thanks Diane) and Donna...you to, your comment just brought tears to my eyes.  Everyone else that commented or have emailed.  Thank you.  I am very thankful for the people that ARE in my life.

Deppressive state

Struggling a little bit the last day or so.  And today will be rough as we are having a delayed christmas celebration at work. We delayed our party and our gift exchange because one of my co-workers was in the hospital and we wanted her with us.  So it's today...which means FOOD!    I WILL get this together and keep it together. I haven't been doign too bad...but the scales are notshowing my efforts...but they will!

I'm going to admit, right here and right now. I'm battling a depressive state.  I'm not sure if I would say that I'm categorically depressed.  But I know that it's threatening me.  It's crushing me. It's pushing against me.  And I'll also admit....that it's winning.  Life is just overwhelming me right now. I have some issues going on that just make me want to give up.  To throw up my hands in defeat....even though my heart doesn't want to quit.  I've got these chest pains...coming up on 2 straight solid months.  I laid in bed the other night and just cried because I don't like it.  They are NOT debilitating in their pain. They are just aching.  A nuisance.  But yeah, they hurt. 

 A friend yesterday in an email started a "I'm thankful' thing.  I was saying how life just looks bleak.  She wrote back and said "I'm thankful for my little fluffy dog that is sleeping in my arms right now."  I sat here and tears came to my eyes.  I couldn't find anything that I was thankful for.  I thought.  I pondered.  I REALLY was scrambling to find something.  ANYTHING.  Finally I came up with probably one of the most lame...but ohh so very true things.  I'm thankful for parents that love me unconditionally.   She of course wrote back that I shouldn't forget my brother OR my friend in Indiana. (her).   But it made me start to think.  I need to find something new each day that I'm thankful for.  Today I'm thankful that we have no car payments AND no house payments. Our house/property and all three cars are ours free and clear!

But as i started to think about that. I realized that my photography has taken a hit.  Life is not pretty.  My depressive state makes me see the world as just ho hum.  Bland.  blah.  And thus, I have barely pulled out my camera in the last month or so.  I need to remedy that.  And this morning, even though I didn't have my camera, I saw beauty. I made myself see it and actually focus on it.  The clouds were dark on top.....but underneath the clouds....actually radiating from the bottom of the clouds was a symphony of pink colors...all tucked neatly under the cloud.  Just pure beauty. 

You see.......fake it till you make it.  I will force myself to see the good to see the beauty.  And eventually it will be natural again for me. And as beauty and happiness return....maybe my weight problems will become less of a struggle.  Yeah, I'll still have some of the other issues...but if I'm not so depressed..........

Mid week

I'm plodding along.  I've exercised the last few days.  I've paid the price (chest pains for a few hours afterward) but I've done it. 

Had and ultrasound to check my gall bladder today.  Chest pains persist.  

I'm more than determined to lose the weight.   I had my bloodwork done last week.  The results came back and they called to put me on meds to bring my cholesterol down.  My cholesterol was 225.  HDL was 60 and my LDL was 150.    I'm upset that it's high again.  BUT, when I was previously this weight...it used to be 250-260 so it isn't as high as it's normally been. I also know that losing the weight will get it back in line.  When i was down at my lowest weight my cholesterol was just fine.  So I KNOW that I can get it down naturally.  I'll talk to the doctor next Thursday and basically say "give me 6 months" to see what I can do....and then we'll go from there.  Yeah, the cholesterol is the biggest negative factor toward my heart too......so that's not good at all.

Meanwhile...as of this morning my weight is down about 3 pounds from about a week ago.  (I was up on monday..but twas expected with the monthly ick)   So i'm happy.  I did eat a big breakfast today...and I'll be a few points over tonight.  But i think it will be fine.  :-)

Ok, the weight popped up yesterday.  Not gonna let it get to me.  It was just a crazy day.  

I am proud of myself today.  I had a waffle for breakfast......all was good.  But when they ordered lunch at work I so WANTED to order with them.  THEN they said they were ordering chinese.  I wanted it soo bad.  Ohhh I wanted it.  I could have eaten....but I wasn't hungry at all.  I would have eaten too...even though I wasn't hungry.  BUT, I declined.  EVERYONE here ordered out...except for me that is.  I ordered not.  I sat here and smelled that delicious smelling food.  I'll eat my packed lunch eventually.....fruit and veggies. But you know what...I'm not really hungry yet and I'm not going to eat my packed lunch just because I packed a lunch and just because it's lunchtime. (actually it's already almost 3PM) I'll eat WHEN MY BODY needs it.  At this point...maybe not until I get home for dinner.  It's all good.....i'm listening to my body today.

Hoping to do some kind of activity tonight....even if it is only a game on the xbox.  ANYTHING.  Gotta start small.  :-)

Doctors appointment today.  Back to square one.....the original diagnosis she thinks may have been faulty.  OK OK OK, she didn't say so in so many words....but hello.  So I had ANOTHER EKG done.  My blood pressure was sky high.....I'm having an ultrasound to check my gall bladder and I'll be taking prilosec to see if it helps in case it's acid reflux.  Ohh yes, I'm also having a whole battery of bloodwork done.  JOY JOY.  So basically we are ruling out one thing and then another.  Go figure.  I'm just frustrating.  I'm working on week 7 of this stuff.

The good news...she said since my EKG looked good (and the one at the ER supposedly also) she felt confident allowing me to go back to exercise.  SHe said start out small.  Do you think a zumba session would be small enough?    ROFL     I can tone that down if need be.  LOL

Eating today...not the greatest........grabbed food on the run sinec the doctor was an hour late seeing me...then the additional time of the EKG and then back in to see the doctor again to have her look at the test results.  Ohhh yeah, and the EKG machine wasn't working at first ....wouldn't print...so that took 30 minutes.  SO I had to grab food on the run.  NOT good.

Day one Down

I didn't have a fantastic perfect day yesterday with my eating.  But, I kept it together.  Where I went wrong?  I got home from work and started working on dinner...and I nibbled ...cheese was my downfall last night.  I was getting food out of the fridge and saw some sliced cheese......and I just couldn't resist.    So that was bad.  My water consumption was 'better'  but still not up to par...and yesterday evening I switched to diet Pepsi and finished off the two liter that I had started on Sunday.  So that severely impacted my water intake...because while I was drinking my diet soda...I was NOT drinking the remainder of my water.  Ooops.

I go back to the doctor on Thursday for another follow up visit with my doctor about this chest crud.  I'm hoping that I'm cleared to recommence exercise.  I actually plan on asking this.   "I know that exercise will  'hurt' because physical activity irritates.  BUT will it actually HARM me.  Will it delay my recovery.  Will it do permanent damage?"  If it is not going to HARM me, than I'm going back to exercise....I can take it easier and slower and start up and deal with the annoying pains.    Because I'm to the point that I'm tired of waiting.....it's been 6 weeks.  Well that and my zumba starts up again next Tuesday after the Christmas break.  tee hee hee

A New Year

A new year always gives us the motivation to reflect on where we are at, on where we want to be and what steps we need to take to get there and setting goals to get there..    I didn't do too much reflecting.  I didn't do too much goal setting.   Ok, that's a lie.  I have a couple...but I didn't set up clear cut goals..for the most part. 

The first one....I am setting a goal to REALLY work on my photography.  Take the best pictures.  Edit them in such a way that they dazzle.  Just become the best I can be.  Push myself out of my comfort zone.

The second one...and it's the biggie.  Lose this weight once and for all.  I've eaten myself into oblivion the last year or two.  Things in my life got rough and while I tried to deal with those things....I stopped taking care of myself.  In essence, I stopped caring about myself.  The more weight I gained, the worse I felt about myself....and the more I ate.   I'm regaining control. It makes me sick to think that it was 5 years ago that I started this blog....and while i had already lost some of my weight back then...I find myself ALMOST back to where I was..  Yes, I need to face the truth. Voice it.  I've gained back half of what I lost.  Most of it within the last year.  I've ducked behind the camera lens (goal one helps on that one) and avoided having to face the truth in pictures.  But the real truth is that I have gained a fair amount of weight.   At my lowest, I was 180....I'm sitting at 240 right now. Still a far cry from the 315 which is the highest I saw on the scales...but it's still a LOT of weight to regain.  

Lets look at the good side.  I know HOW to lose weight.  I've proven that in the past.  Another good fact...I didn't regain all of it!

The negative side.....I feel like a failure....and those feelings feed  my desire to shovel food (my drug) into my mouth.

SOOO what am I doing about it?   I set up my menu for the next two weeks (I usually do this).  But I went one step further.  I calculated the points values for each meal.  So each night when I glance at the menu to figure out if any prep needs done for the next days meal (or anything pulled out of the big freezers) I can also quickly say "ohhh tomorrow nights dinner will utilize 15 points...that's a little high/low so I need to adjust my lunch accordingly"   Versus eat what I want and then just damn the consequences.  I'm preparing myself for battle. 

I have a challenge with a friend.   Basically we are going through from today...until the first week of spring (actually the monday after the first day of spring as we are weighing in on Mondays).  It's nothing major...just a friendly competition...winner (biggest percentage lost) is rewarded with a small monetary reward by the loser.  Nothing to break the bank ($20) but enough to motivate.  :-)   Knowing that I work well under compatitions.....I tried to get my husband to compete with me as a second competition to movitate me...but well.....I'll just have to settle for that one competition.

Todd and I will be taking a long weekend in late April....most likely to ride in Girls With Gears (if the motivation carries me into training for it)....but either way we hope to hook up with Donna and Andy our friends.  That is just shy of 4 months.  My pie in the sky goal is to be back at 200 pounds.   But I will be happy with being back into the 'two hundred-teens'.  It's possible to reach my pie in the sky goal...or at least come close......WITH discipline. 

So moving forward....no looking back.

Trying

I'm trying.  I'm putting my food intake into the tracker on E-tools. Trying to get used to this new points plus system.  More difficult for me as I'm just changing over without the benefit of the meetings to teach me the finer points of the new system.  But I'm workin' it.  Luckily it's similar enough that I'm ok with the change.

I'm still on a restricted activity.  Yeah, I could get out and exercise...but movement hurts.  Deep breathing hurts.  And it just doesn't hurt while I do it....it causes the pain to flare up and then I suffer the rest of the day....or at least for a few hours. (depending on how bad it is).    I can't change the exercise stuff...but I can change my eating..and get that in line.  :-)  The exercise will recommence as soon as humanly possible.

I WILL lick this once and for all!

Report

Follow up Doctors appointment.  First of all let me say that I waited an HOUR AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES for this appointment.  There is no excuse....and there was NO apology or anything for my wait.  I walked into the doors of the ER on Sunday and walked out 2 hours later.  The ER was almost quicker than a visit to my family doctor...(and i had more tests done at the ER...).  I think it's time to find a new doctor!

Ok, diagnosis.  The doctor agrees with the diagnosis of Bronchitis.  The problem.....prolonged infections in your respiratory system can cause pleuritis (and inflamation in the lining of the lungs).   Uhh yeah....apparently three plus weeks (that's how long I"ve been dealing with this) is enough to cause that.  Joy joy.  What do you do for pleuritis........nothing.   Treat the original infection (done...the ER did that)  Anti-inflmatory drugs....so basically ibuprofen for a few weeks.  I have a follow up appointment on January 6th. Hopefully I'm healthy and well by then!

I got to thinking about this.  When the chest pains started to get worse, I kept telling myself  "MaryFran, you are NOT having a heart attack...you are only 38 years old."  But I knew that there IS a chance....even if I were younger.  I also realized that by regaining the weight I brought back the very thing that I worked so hard to eradicate.  And that was extra risk factors to my health.  I originally lost the weight for a few reasons...and one of those was because I knew that the added weight was going to kill me.  So while I denied how bad these chest pains were to everyone that would listen....inside I was beating myself up and telling myself that "this time you've done it...you've let things get out of control and your body has had enough of it"    Luckily that was not the case....but if I don't get it under control I may not be so lucky  next time.  One of these obesity related diseases WILL strike me.  (as it is, I need to get the weight down to bring my cholesterol back down!)

So while I really can't exercise.... (movement is NOT good.....causes the chest pains to increase in intensity tenfold) I  CAN start tracking my food and really starting to watch what I eat!

I go to see my family doctor tomorrow.  The chest is still feeling tight. Earlier today it was giving me grief.  Rigfht now it's just a minor nuisance pain.   If I keep my breathing more shallow and don't move too much I'm good.  :-)   That's not normal..so yeah, I'm heading to see my doctor tomorrow.

I also have decided that enough is enough.  I started tracking....AGAIN.  Just today.  I know it needs to be done.  I'll get used to the new points system in time I"m sure.   No, I can't exercise right now...but I can pull my eating back under control.  I haven't stepped foot on the scales since I've been back from our little mini vacation.   I will do that probably tomorrow morning (plus it will let me know if our scales are calibrated correctly.....matching at least somewhat to the doctors scales).  Nervous about that.

Sidelined

Yes, I'm sidelined. I'm trying to watch what I eat...but exercise is...well a thing that is not really in my vocabulary right now.

For the last two weeks (two and a half actually) I've been experiencing chest pains.  A tightness in my chest.  At first I just assumed that I was getting a chest cold...but 2.5 weeks later I've finally accepted that something is seriously wrong.  (I've not had any coughing or congestion)

SOoooo on Sunday i went to the ER.  EKG was fine.   Chest x-rays were fine.  So they sent me home with an antibiotic and said "you have bronchitis".   I've been on the meds now for 3 days....not much relief yet.  It feels half way normal (just a tingle when I breathe) in the morning...but as soon as I start moving around it progressivly worsens until by the evening I'm sitting with my hand on my chest.  I've also started to accept the fact taht I'm exhausted.  I fell asleep last night between 8:30 and 9PM.  And other than stumbling to the bedroom at about 10:30...I slept through to 7AM...and would have slept longer if the alarm wouldn't have gone off for Todd.   Saturday evening we went into a bookstore at 8PM....A bookstore!  And I couldn't even walk through the store....I just wanted to sit down (and did).

Soooo I'm not sure what's up.

reevaluation

I'm reevaluting the scale issue.  They have me back at the exact same weight that I was all last week.  I was that weight last night before I went to bed.  I was that weight this morning....and again AFTER I went tot he bathroom (yeah, TMI).   This is just odd.  I've always weighed daily....and NEVER have I been at the same weight like that.  TO THE OUNCE.  This is just not right!

I haven't fallen away, although it feels like it.  I'm still battling those more negative feelings that I spoke about in my most recent post.  I really dont' know how to go about it so I'm at a loss.  But I'm plodding along.

The Monday before Thanksgiving I decided that there is one thing that I DO know how to do.  One problem that I DO know how to fix.  Or at least I know what steps to take that should (and in the past have shown to work) to fix this problem.  That problem...my ballooning weight.  So I stepped up to the plate and made a vow to myself that I would lose...or at the very least show a maintain over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I didn't say anything much on here or to anyone.  I've failed so miserably lately and I just didn't want to have to come out and say "I failed again"  I knew it would be rough.  Not only was there a holiday (a big food holiday) involved....but I would be spending 4.5 days at my parents house...where snack foods, baked goods and just pure food heaven existed.  I set about my task.I weighed in every day.  Monday to get a starting weight and every day thereafter to monitor.  I wont way that I dind't have snacks.  On wednesday, I had two cookies...but watched my food intake the rest of the day.  Not starving...just healthier choices.  On Thursday I weighed myself....I was down about 2.6 pounds already.  I made good choices with my food intake on thursday...although I did eat three meals.  Just smaller portions and healthier choices.  I had a piece of cherry pie mid afternoon.  Friday morning...I weighed myself.....EXACTLY THE SAME AS THURSDAY!  WOO HOO!  It sparked me and I watched my food intake carefully on Friday, trying to make healthy choices when the options just weren't there for me.....I had a piece of pumpkin pie this day.  Saturday  morning...weighed myself.....EXACTLY THE SAME!  Saturday....more managing.....no snacks.  :-)   Sunday....the exact same weight.  I was starting to ponder this.  Not even budging an ounce???   That is odd.  Monday...weighed again...same exact weight.  I checked the scales by waiting until after my shower with a towel wrapped around me. (knowing that the water and towel would make me heavier)....it did show me 1.5 pounds higher...so I knew my scales were working.  Tuesday....what did I weigh?  Well exactly the same of course!     I kept at it...still fearful that my scales were working.  This morning......I showed a 1.4 loss!  WOO HOOOO!!!!!!!

So the moral of the story.  I didn't just maintain over thanksgiving....I lost 2.6 pounds!  AND I'm well on my way (1.4 pounds) to a loss for this upcoming week! 

Death of a Dream

Uhhhh yeah, I"ve been absent for a while.     And if you've read my blog for any length of time, you know what an absence means.  It means NOT good things.

I've gained a bit in the last few weeks.  Why is this so hard?

I'm kinda right now focusing on ME.  Not so much the eating me.  But I'm forcing myself to face some facts.  I've actually been meaning to write about this on here.  I wrote it in my private journal (in full detail way back on november 10th...just checked the date in that journal) and just never had the gumption to come on here and write it.  But then something else happened....in relation and it's thrown me into a deeper tailspin.

Ok...going back to a week ago.  I was thinking about goals and desires and dreams.  I realized that I'm somewhat afraid to dream and have big goals. Why was this though?   I started to think about some of the dreams I've had in the past.  The first one...I ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher.  Another one...It was always a foregone conclusion that I would be a parent....I just always knew.  There was another big one in the list that I'm not going to bring up right now...but it's a BIG one.  Well, when I identified those huge dreams....I realized that they have ALL bombed out...and BIG TIME.  Teaching...well, I wrote about that a while back.  NOT good.  The baby thing....for personal reasons we haven't even tried.  And the third one.....another huge negative.  I attempted to strive toward my dreams and goals and they have been  busted in a huge way.    As my dreams died, I have been shattered, depressed and just, well....not good.  In my melancholy moods, I became afraid to even dare to dream again.  The pain of losing those dreams and having them plucked from you (and sometimes in very hurtful and demoralizing ways) rendered me incapable of a lot.  I'm just drifting through my life aimlessly. No goals....no plans.  Just existing from day to day.

I've been struggling with this of late.  I recognize that there is a serious problem with having a lack of these intrinsically important things.  How does one take the step to dream again?  How does one even come up with dreams again?

Yesterday, I got hit with the news of a friend who is pregnant......it brought back all the emotions of my childless state. Yes, tears have fallen for me....even while I'm happy for my friend.   I just want to eat away my problems.  Todd had his follow up appointment after all the tests (which were in relation to the cancer scare and his digestive problems)....all came back clean....I just want to eat to celebrate.  Eating is all I have.  Yet eating adds to my desperation because I want to be thin.  I want to feel good about myself again.

Yet, I know that to truely feel good about myself, being thin is NOT enough. (I've been there once before and it didn't work...I felt good...but it wasn't enough....clearly as I gained the weight back).  I need to fix me from the inside out.  Now the question is how to do it?

I am holding steady.  Literally, steady.  My weight was exactly the same today as it was yesterday as it was on Monday.  I'm ok with that. I've eaten late dinners the last two nights and I've had two high intensity workouts on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings.  Historically I don't show a loss after a high intensity evening workout. (they say something about your muscles when they are worked hard retain fluid for a day or so).  So I'm not too worried.  I'm just plugging along with my eating.  Yes....it's Thursday and thus far I'm 100% on target with my eating and food intake. I'm also 50% of the way to reaching my goal of 4 exercises for this week.  :-)

The longer I go and stay on target, the easier it actually becomes.....it really does build momentum. 

Weekly weigh in

OH my word...I just feel so brain dead today!   It's a Monday and I'm feelin' it down to the tips of my toes!

I am however VERY tickled!   Last weeks goal was a repeat of the previous weeks attempt to eat on target for 6 of the 7 days.    Last night I looked at my day planner and realized that I reached 6 days...and I would most likely make it the 7 days (I did).  I admit to using a few weekly points (no more than 2 a day) 2 or 3 days of the week.  But that is still well within the plan!  So a total success.  I squeaked out the carry over goal of 3 days of exercise throughout the week.   Yeah, it was way too easy because zumba gives me two of them. 

Soooo goals for this week, another 7 great days of eating.  And I'm going to bump up the exercise....aiming for 4 times!

So how did I do?   I lost 6 pounds!

WINNER!

Special Thanks to my co-worker who picked the magic number (7) as the miracle winner of my give away.  (yeah yeah yeah...it's monday and way too much work to go to a random generator site do-hickey to get my winner....I still went random...just old school).   Sooo without further ado....I give to you our winner!  

http://thisnthatwithjc.blogspot.com/

Give Away!

I am still working at keeping my eating under control.  It is a struggle.  MY tendency is to let my self do what I want.  But I know that I need to manage what I'm eating.  I also know that if I do it properly, I will NOT feel denied and that I will lose weight. There is a happy medium there...and I'm striving for it.  Meanwhile, I just want to lose the weight and get back to the emotional and physical state that I was in when I originally lost the weight.  I'm not saying that losing the weight will be the magical pill that will make me happy. But I know that i was more at peace with myself when I was thinner.  I also know that my body operated much much more efficiently. I had more energy.  I had more spark.  I had more gumption.  As the weight crept back on, that all started to dissipate.

SOOOO, I had always heard SOOO many people talking about smoothies.   Everyone RAVED about smoothies.  I purchased a few while I was out and about, but never took the leap into making them.  Until this past spring.  I decided to get off my butt and learn how to make them.  I experimented and enjoyed greatly.  To me they are the perfect breakfast.  I make about 16 ounces.  it has a serving of milk and roughly two servings of fruit. I can grab it and go.  It's the perfect breakfast....one I eat a few times a week.

Free stuff?  Give away?  Keep reading!

About a week or two ago I was contacted by the blogspark and offered to do a review on the Yoplait Frozen Smoothies.  I jumped at the chance!  One day last week (Friday I believe) I got home and there was a nice sized box on the front porch waiting for me.  It was from MyBlogspark!!!!! I took it inside and tore it open! Inside I received two coupons to try the Yoplait Frozen Smoothies (provided by Yoplait) and a 3 speed Kitchen Aid blender (provided by the fine people at Kitchen Aid).  I was jumping up and down with joy as I love love love kitchen gadgets (and Kitchen aid products are a favorite of mine) and of course as a food addict, I love food.  Two wonderful fun things all rolled into one!  Something that would even  help me in my quest to eat a healthy diet (I strive for at least 5 fruits and veggies a day smoothies have fruit!).     FINALLY yesterday I was able to hit up a grocery store to pick up my Yoplait frozen Smoothies. I was tickled to see that they contained no High Fructose Corn Syrup which I try to limit in my house (due to digestive problems with my husband).  Any product that refrains from using this ingredient as one of their top ingredients has a leg up with me.   This morning I pulled them out of the freezer and got down to business.

I laid my yummy and fun things out on the table.  You can see a cat decided to check them out. Mertz approved of course.

Then I got down to the business of making my smoothie. I chose the triple berry for my first attempt as I am a berry fanatic. It was actually very easy to make.  All that was involved was literally opening the bag (needed scissors/knife for that process) and dumping the contents of the bag into the blender. (and adding a glass of milk which I'll get to later)

I looked in and could see the real pieces of frozen fruit mixed in with the chunks of frozen yogurt. I added the required 1 cup of milk and then  I hit the switch on my new blender and whirled those yummy looking pieces of fruit into a delicious looking smoothie.

I couldn't resist.  I reached in with a spoon and took a taste... Delicious!  Creamy!  Fruity!  Bliss! I pulled out a glass and filled up the glass.  (I made mine with the minimum milk...so I ended up using a spoon to eat it.  The instructions stated that I could add more milk if I desired a less 'stiff' consistency)  I was ready to sit back and enjoy!

It was so very tasty!  I could taste bits the strawberries, blueberries and raspberries on my palette as I consumed my smoothie.  Every once in a while I would get a little taste of the yogurt that hadn't completely blended smooth (OK, so I may have been in a hurry to taste it and rushed the blending process).  But I LOVED the little bits of yogurt!  VERY yummy!

My only fault with the product.  The bag serves two....two 8 ounce glasses of smoothie.  I...uhhhh I'm a food addict...I usually make a 16 ounce glass of smoothie. So one bag served ONE in my case.  Not a big deal as this is a total convenience food purchase....the work is done.  No cleaning of fruit.  No cutting up fruit (banana if you get the strawberry banana smoothie pack).  Just pour out the bag.  So well worth the price to pay for that convenience....even if I did use the whole bag on just me.  And the upside of doing that.  Well, the bag claims that one serving provides one serving of fruit....guess I just got two servings!

Taking the nutrition information off the back of the package...and for a prepared smoothie...it is as follows:
calories -110
fat- 1.5
fiber 2 g
protein 1 g

(OK if you want the rest of the nutrition facts....you can go to their website)

I would give this product a thumbs up.  I honestly will probably continue making my normal smoothies with fresh fruit (because I do have and take the time).  But I will be keeping a bag or two of the yoplait smoothies in my freezer for a quick fix (for when I may be out of fresh fruit). 

If you are interested in this product,  you can follow this link and get a wonderful coupon for this product and you too can try it out!

I am offering a give away for a prize package similar...provided by Yoplait and Kitchen Aid via Blogspark.  To get a chance to win, all you need to do is make a comment telling me what you love about smoothies.  If you've never tried a smoothie...just let me know and that will count also.  :-)  You have until Midnight on October 31 to make your comments!  Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy my make some smoothies and get some more servings of fruit into my diet!

I made it through yesterday's eating relatively unscathed.  I admit to using some weekly points (4.5 of them) but in the grand scheme of things I'm ok with that.  I plan on the rest of the week being spot on.  :-)  So I'm calling it a success, because for being on a vacation day....it could have been a WHOLE LOT WORSE. (and has been in the past)

I don't like to use many of my weekly points.  I've noticed that when I do...I tend to not lose.  So I want to try to stay away from them most days.  When I was losing steadily before, I would use some weekly points the day of my weigh in...and then no more until the next weigh in day.  So That would work because yesterday was my weigh in day. 

I finally broke down and bought a few clothes items.  (goodwill baby...all the way).  I was operating on two pairs of dress pants for work.  That doesn't take you far during a 5 or 6 (every other week) work week.  So I bought two pairs of pants and one skirt.  (10 bucks total....and one of the items still had the tags from the store on it).  I figured I need to feel better about myself in the clothes that i'm wearing.  I'm still bored with my tops....but I at least have some more options with those. (especially as winter rolls toward us...because I have lots of sweaters...I never got rid of my sweater when I lost the weigh...because sweaters can be bulky so I kept them!)  So one step toward bringing myself back.

I'm ready.  I want to feel good about myself.  I want to be thin again!!!!!

The Challenge

Not a collosal failure last week.  I tracked every bite that went into my mouth.  EVERY bite.  The first four days I was EXCELLENT.   The last three days...well, I tried.  I tried to chose healthier options and make healthier wiser choices.  We ate out...A LOT.  I also had birthday cake to contend with.  Yes, I had two pieces (german chocolate cake is what he asked for).   We went to a hockey game....I had  a pretzel at the arena....NO, I had a HALF of pretzel.  The hockey game. (minor league) was in Hershey, PA.....so I had chocolate (is it possible to go to hershey and NOT have chocolate???)

SOOO my results.  For the week.....I ONLY went over my total points (daily AND 35 weekly included) by 2 points.  So that isn't TOO bad.  It could have (and in the past) would have been a lot worse. I'm not calling it a success though.   So I'm redoing this challenge!

On the flip side...if I wouldn't have been doing this challenge....I KNOW that I would have done a WHOLE lot more damage.....I didn't gain any weight this past week...and actually dropped a slight bit on the scale...so in that regard it was a success!