I forgot to weigh myself this morning. Yeah, that's the truth...not an excuse. I was actually thinking about it....but for some reason my routine got all catawumpus and I was dressed and eating breakfast and went ....woah doggie, I dind't weigh myself today. Not a big deal. But I'm curious as to what my weight is.
I haven't calculated last nights food yet...but I feel as if I'm skirting on the edge of not eating right. I've been within my points.....and I've had more than the recommended 5 servings of fruit and veggies each day. But Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I have had ice cream in the evening (Fat free on two nights and a ww sundae cup the other night). last night, my family carted dinner down to my house and we ate. I actually probably didn't do as badly as I thought, but I just feel like I'm on the edge...and I need to reign it back in. I can do it...I KNOW I can do it....but I'll be honest, it's gonna be hard this weekend as I'll be up at my mom and dad's all weekend (except for sleeping) to be with my brother, his wife and their kids. That means being confronted with all the goodies that my mom has in the house for them. Being confronted with fast food meals when they go out for lunch. Mom a lot of the time makes fresh homemade bread to go with dinner.....yum. But I lose control and eat and eat and eat of the bread. So it will be a field of land mines. But I'm determined to walk away with a success under my belt.
Thighs are a bit sore today.....muscle wise. Not to worry, I'm sadistic enough that I like the burn of a sore muscle...it says to me that I've done something good for my body!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I'm feeling somewhat better today....still really blue and somewhat depressed, but somewhat better. I know, intrinsically at least that I am not a 'bad' person, that I am worth every ounce of effort that I put into myself. I need to learn to not allow external situations and factors cause me to stumble. Easier said than done...but I'll keep working on it.....and remember what I KNOW to be true (inside at least). SOooo thankful for my friends though....yesterday I had two really good friends reach out and remind me of who I am and what I'm worth. (thanks!)
After work last night, I headed to Zumba. I pushed myself as much as possible. I was a little flat footed the last part of the hour...I just felt like I didn't have the energy/drive. I pushed through it though and did it.
Last night, set the alarm for 6AM so that I could go to the gym. At 5:50 a driving, torrential downpour woke me up. Ok, I'm not walking outside in that if I could help it. So I turned off the alarm. I woke up again at 6:45...it was no longer raining...so I roused Todd and we headed off to the gym. I started on the treadmill. I have decided to step back into jogging. It's been since April (I think the last time was April...maybe May) since I jogged. I had started out way back when with 2 minutes jogging and roughly 3 minutes recovery (walking). I had built it up and could actually do pretty good. Still taking small recovery walks (1 minutes for every 9 jogged is where I think I was before I got sidetracked). I thought I would be back to square one. I mean, I haven't done much exercise (other than Zumba for months). So I hopped on....warmed up a few minutes with walking and then took off (ok ok ok, I didn't take off....I did step it up to a jog....I'm now where near FAST...it's a SLOW jog). I decided to just go. I made it 1 minute...then 2...then 3. I stopped at 8 and walked for 2. I was pretty tickled with myself. The rest of the time was 5 minutes jogged, 2 minutes walked...back and forth. After my time on the treadmill, I moved to a bike and pushed myself. I had a heart rate I wanted to stay at...(I set the bike up to adjust automatically to keep me there) and I pushed myself to maintain 100RPM's the whole time. So I pushed it there too.
Eating....doing ok. No real slip ups. Nothing really bad. All is good.Weight is actually holding somewhat steady this week thus far.
After work last night, I headed to Zumba. I pushed myself as much as possible. I was a little flat footed the last part of the hour...I just felt like I didn't have the energy/drive. I pushed through it though and did it.
Last night, set the alarm for 6AM so that I could go to the gym. At 5:50 a driving, torrential downpour woke me up. Ok, I'm not walking outside in that if I could help it. So I turned off the alarm. I woke up again at 6:45...it was no longer raining...so I roused Todd and we headed off to the gym. I started on the treadmill. I have decided to step back into jogging. It's been since April (I think the last time was April...maybe May) since I jogged. I had started out way back when with 2 minutes jogging and roughly 3 minutes recovery (walking). I had built it up and could actually do pretty good. Still taking small recovery walks (1 minutes for every 9 jogged is where I think I was before I got sidetracked). I thought I would be back to square one. I mean, I haven't done much exercise (other than Zumba for months). So I hopped on....warmed up a few minutes with walking and then took off (ok ok ok, I didn't take off....I did step it up to a jog....I'm now where near FAST...it's a SLOW jog). I decided to just go. I made it 1 minute...then 2...then 3. I stopped at 8 and walked for 2. I was pretty tickled with myself. The rest of the time was 5 minutes jogged, 2 minutes walked...back and forth. After my time on the treadmill, I moved to a bike and pushed myself. I had a heart rate I wanted to stay at...(I set the bike up to adjust automatically to keep me there) and I pushed myself to maintain 100RPM's the whole time. So I pushed it there too.
Eating....doing ok. No real slip ups. Nothing really bad. All is good.Weight is actually holding somewhat steady this week thus far.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Self worth
I have no idea where this post came from or why...other than maybe I just needed to say it out loud to myself.....
Loving ourselves....self esteem.
That's a really difficult thing to do sometimes. But it's so necessary because if we don't care and love ourselves, then we tend to not want to take the time and effort necessary to make the changes (and turn them into habits) for weight loss and a healthy lifestyle.
I've been kicked to the ground a bunch of times in my adult life. Starting with college when I was told by the resident director that people hated me...that 'people see you walking toward them and they move to the other side of the hall/street to get away from you'. Yes, that is a quote of just one of the many things that were spouted off to me. I sunk into a depression and actually believed what had been said to me. My friends gathered around me and told me time and time again that it was NOT true....and that it was the work of a jealous person that was good friends with the RD. I learned the value of TRUE friends...but it was still a real blow to my self esteem.
Fast forward through years of trying to get a teaching job....rejection upon rejection. A good friend stabbing me in the back. (not literally...quite figuratively). A job teaching that turned really really bad. That pushed me once again into a depression....and rocked me to the core, totally knocking my already fragile self esteem. I'm currently in a situation that is threatening to destroy what is left of my self worth. I'm struggling...I'm angry at God about situation...but I'm trying to not focus on that anger or the way that this situation is making me feel (worthless....unworthy...etc etc etc) and to take time for myself, to make sure I am at least operating daily as if I cared about myself.....It's a hard hard battle to fight....right now I'm just fakin' in.
That said....my weight is holding steady thus far this week. I'm happy about that. I did my hour of zumba last night and I will go again tonight. This morning I bee-bopped around the house vacuuming, steam vac'ing the carpets, sweeping and mopping, laundry, etc etc etc. So at I'm getting my activity in. Thinking about trying to make it to the gym tomorrow morning! I've got to make exercise a priority in my daily routine!
Loving ourselves....self esteem.
That's a really difficult thing to do sometimes. But it's so necessary because if we don't care and love ourselves, then we tend to not want to take the time and effort necessary to make the changes (and turn them into habits) for weight loss and a healthy lifestyle.
I've been kicked to the ground a bunch of times in my adult life. Starting with college when I was told by the resident director that people hated me...that 'people see you walking toward them and they move to the other side of the hall/street to get away from you'. Yes, that is a quote of just one of the many things that were spouted off to me. I sunk into a depression and actually believed what had been said to me. My friends gathered around me and told me time and time again that it was NOT true....and that it was the work of a jealous person that was good friends with the RD. I learned the value of TRUE friends...but it was still a real blow to my self esteem.
Fast forward through years of trying to get a teaching job....rejection upon rejection. A good friend stabbing me in the back. (not literally...quite figuratively). A job teaching that turned really really bad. That pushed me once again into a depression....and rocked me to the core, totally knocking my already fragile self esteem. I'm currently in a situation that is threatening to destroy what is left of my self worth. I'm struggling...I'm angry at God about situation...but I'm trying to not focus on that anger or the way that this situation is making me feel (worthless....unworthy...etc etc etc) and to take time for myself, to make sure I am at least operating daily as if I cared about myself.....It's a hard hard battle to fight....right now I'm just fakin' in.
That said....my weight is holding steady thus far this week. I'm happy about that. I did my hour of zumba last night and I will go again tonight. This morning I bee-bopped around the house vacuuming, steam vac'ing the carpets, sweeping and mopping, laundry, etc etc etc. So at I'm getting my activity in. Thinking about trying to make it to the gym tomorrow morning! I've got to make exercise a priority in my daily routine!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Songs
When I was at the gym the other day, I had my ipod on shuffle and I ended up hearing some songs that I haven't really listened to in ages. It got me to thinking about songs that at one point or another have meant something to me in my weight loss efforts. Lyrically speaking that is....
Ironically enough, many of mine are songs by Chicago....
Stone of Sisyphus (the link has the lyrics and the song to listen too)
The back ground of Sisyphus is that he was a Greek King that was being punished. His punishment was to roll a large boulder up a hill, only to get to the top and watch the boulder roll right back to the bottom......and thus he had to start again. (fitting for this journey sometimes right).
The lyrics of the song include this segment "A dream is make believe until;
Blood, sweat, and tears turn pain to will;It's gonna take some doing for me:
To show them the way." .....this song just hit me.
Feeling Stronger Every day.
Yes, this song is more about 'love'. But for me, it's a love song to myself...through this journey I've had to learn (and relearn) to love myself....and with each day, I'm making myself stronger every day, physically and emotionally.
Alive Again
Once again, a song that kinda preaches to me as I've tried to learn to once again love myself....and in the process have come alive....because at my heaviest, I was nothing more than dead.
There are tons more songs that have had meaning for me during my journey.....but those three songs popped into my head the other day while exercising....and more than any others, they (mainly the first two) are the ones that really speak to me.
Ironically enough, many of mine are songs by Chicago....
Stone of Sisyphus (the link has the lyrics and the song to listen too)
The back ground of Sisyphus is that he was a Greek King that was being punished. His punishment was to roll a large boulder up a hill, only to get to the top and watch the boulder roll right back to the bottom......and thus he had to start again. (fitting for this journey sometimes right).
The lyrics of the song include this segment "A dream is make believe until;
Blood, sweat, and tears turn pain to will;It's gonna take some doing for me:
To show them the way." .....this song just hit me.
Feeling Stronger Every day.
Yes, this song is more about 'love'. But for me, it's a love song to myself...through this journey I've had to learn (and relearn) to love myself....and with each day, I'm making myself stronger every day, physically and emotionally.
Alive Again
Once again, a song that kinda preaches to me as I've tried to learn to once again love myself....and in the process have come alive....because at my heaviest, I was nothing more than dead.
There are tons more songs that have had meaning for me during my journey.....but those three songs popped into my head the other day while exercising....and more than any others, they (mainly the first two) are the ones that really speak to me.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Monday Madness
Well, my weekend is over. I did fairly well over the weekend with my eating. Saturday I was spot on AND I even made it to the gym. Sunday, well...Sunday was a bit more rough as my brother and his family is in town. They went out for lunch. (fast food....arrggghh). I ate a salad with grilled chicken on top and the nectarine that I took with me. Dinner was out to eat once again. We went to a place where you CAN order off the menu, but they have a buffet. Everyone ordered the buffet. So even though I kinda wanted the grilled veggies and the baked potato, I was like a blind sheep following the crowd and I ordered the buffet. I didn't do tooo badly...but still over my points I'm sure. Off the buffet I had a salad, some cottage cheese and small scoop of potato salad. I had a small scoop of mashed potatoes, a small scoop of macaroni and cheese some pineapple and a piece of watermelon. I had some soft serve ice cream and I had a roll with butter. I did have a bite of my mom's lemon cake at dinner and a bit of her cinnamon roll at lunch. ONE bite of each...she offered more, but I stuck with one bite. So, even though I followed suit, I did the best I could. I KNOW that I should have stood up and ordered what I wanted (ironically enough, there was one person that DID order off the menu....not me). Ingrained habits......everyone was ordering the buffet and that is what I would have ordered for YEARS of my life....so I just slipped back into the role that I know so well....not the roll that I WANT to be habit!
I did get lots of exercise. My brothers kids are 10, 7 and 3...so I got some jumping, dancing, wrestling, croquette playing and even a 3 mile hike on the canal in yesterday. Ohh yes, and I got some pictures of the kids.....
I was freakin' out about m weight. I ate out TWO times yesterday and while I did 'ok', I still ate differently. Part of my panic is because today is weigh in day for a challenge that I am involved in. There is no ifs ands or buts, I have to weigh in today.....with pictures included. YIKES. I had also made the vow that I would start posting my weight on my blog each Monday. This is one of my plans that I am putting into place as I've pretty much reconciled myself to giving up my weight watchers membership due to the fact that the meeting times have been changed to something that is just not feasible for me. Soooo I did it....I stepped on the scales, I took the picture. I took my full body (or close to it) picture. I am planning on posting a picture like this (full body AND picture of the scale) each week on Monday...or as close to Monday as humanly possible....(only changing the date if I am away and unable....NOT because I ate too much the previous night). I hope and pray that knowing that there are people out there waiting on my report will help keep me accountable...and PLEASE ask if I don't post!
So are you ready?????
I did get lots of exercise. My brothers kids are 10, 7 and 3...so I got some jumping, dancing, wrestling, croquette playing and even a 3 mile hike on the canal in yesterday. Ohh yes, and I got some pictures of the kids.....
I was freakin' out about m weight. I ate out TWO times yesterday and while I did 'ok', I still ate differently. Part of my panic is because today is weigh in day for a challenge that I am involved in. There is no ifs ands or buts, I have to weigh in today.....with pictures included. YIKES. I had also made the vow that I would start posting my weight on my blog each Monday. This is one of my plans that I am putting into place as I've pretty much reconciled myself to giving up my weight watchers membership due to the fact that the meeting times have been changed to something that is just not feasible for me. Soooo I did it....I stepped on the scales, I took the picture. I took my full body (or close to it) picture. I am planning on posting a picture like this (full body AND picture of the scale) each week on Monday...or as close to Monday as humanly possible....(only changing the date if I am away and unable....NOT because I ate too much the previous night). I hope and pray that knowing that there are people out there waiting on my report will help keep me accountable...and PLEASE ask if I don't post!
So are you ready?????
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Excess
It's obvious that I can easily eat to excess. A person rarely gets to over 300 pounds without eating to excess on occasion. However, last night I began to think about excess eating. Let me set the scenario. I made Todd a hamburger on the grill (I don't eat beef) and I had corn on the cob and breaded and baked zucchini...and watermelon for dinner. I ate and ate and ate corn on the cob. I think I ended up eating 7 or 8 ears. The last ear is where my thought processes started to kick in. Did I eat corn on the cob in excess of what I SHOULD have eaten. Yes, it was my 'main dish'. In my general opinion, eating something that's healthy for you, meaning fruit and veggies; it is not possible to eat in excess on those. I didn't get fat from eating too much corn on the cob, or too many green beans, or even from eating too many strawberries (which I can put away..). But is my thinking skewed? No, I didn't eat until I was sick. I wasn't in a corn induced sickness last night. I was pleasantly full. :-)
Soooooo excess eating......is it still bad if it's fruits and vegetables? (the question is aimed at a healthy adult...not a diabetic or someone that needs to watch sugars in fruit)
Soooooo excess eating......is it still bad if it's fruits and vegetables? (the question is aimed at a healthy adult...not a diabetic or someone that needs to watch sugars in fruit)
Friday, August 06, 2010
fruit follies
I promise...no more talk about clothes....or bras...or whatever....that's over!
I had a bit of a panic this morning....my well stocked, full of fruit refrigerator is no longer well stocked with fruit. ARRRGGHHH I still have some nectarines and some cantaloupe. I have been craving corn on the cob (again, is what my husband said...but it's soooo yummy...and honestly, I haven't had it in about a week and a half......and wait a minute, he has been craving hamburgers and eating them numerous times a week...sometimes even more than once a day...and he complains about corn on the cob???). I went out to buy some from our local farmer...no corn! I went to another place....no corn!!! I'm in a state of panic. One place said that they should have corn in a few hours. So on my lunch break, I'm gonna go and see if they have some. Crossing my fingers. I did pick up another watermelon and another cantaloupe to help refill the fridge!
My weight was up a bit this morning. I know I didn't drink all of my water yesterday but we also ate out. I had....ohhh do I have to admit it?????? OK ok ok, we went to Red Lobster. Now, since I don't eat seafood, pork, or beef, I had the option of two entrees. I ended up with cajun chicken alfredo. Yeah yeah yeah....beat me up....alfredo = extra pounds. Ohhh yeah, and of course I had 2 biscuits. When they asked if we wanted more, I did decline the second basket of biscuits, I know if they had been set on the table, that I would have wolfed those down also. I actually wasn't to far over my points for the day because I had eaten pretty much fruit and veggies for breakfast and lunch. OK, not pretty much...I had eaten only fruit and veggies for breakfast and lunch. (hey, that's what tickled my taste buds yesterday). So the fat, and the sodium in processed restaurant foods PLUS the water issue....and my weight is up. Hopefully it drops again. Wait, that was stupid...of course it's going to drop again. I'm working the plan and thus it WILL drop again.
Exercise.....I was getting into my car this morning and I realized that I keep saying that I'm going to kick my exercise into high gear....but in reality the only 'formal' exercise I'm getting is my two nights of zumba. That HAS to be rectified!
I had a bit of a panic this morning....my well stocked, full of fruit refrigerator is no longer well stocked with fruit. ARRRGGHHH I still have some nectarines and some cantaloupe. I have been craving corn on the cob (again, is what my husband said...but it's soooo yummy...and honestly, I haven't had it in about a week and a half......and wait a minute, he has been craving hamburgers and eating them numerous times a week...sometimes even more than once a day...and he complains about corn on the cob???). I went out to buy some from our local farmer...no corn! I went to another place....no corn!!! I'm in a state of panic. One place said that they should have corn in a few hours. So on my lunch break, I'm gonna go and see if they have some. Crossing my fingers. I did pick up another watermelon and another cantaloupe to help refill the fridge!
My weight was up a bit this morning. I know I didn't drink all of my water yesterday but we also ate out. I had....ohhh do I have to admit it?????? OK ok ok, we went to Red Lobster. Now, since I don't eat seafood, pork, or beef, I had the option of two entrees. I ended up with cajun chicken alfredo. Yeah yeah yeah....beat me up....alfredo = extra pounds. Ohhh yeah, and of course I had 2 biscuits. When they asked if we wanted more, I did decline the second basket of biscuits, I know if they had been set on the table, that I would have wolfed those down also. I actually wasn't to far over my points for the day because I had eaten pretty much fruit and veggies for breakfast and lunch. OK, not pretty much...I had eaten only fruit and veggies for breakfast and lunch. (hey, that's what tickled my taste buds yesterday). So the fat, and the sodium in processed restaurant foods PLUS the water issue....and my weight is up. Hopefully it drops again. Wait, that was stupid...of course it's going to drop again. I'm working the plan and thus it WILL drop again.
Exercise.....I was getting into my car this morning and I realized that I keep saying that I'm going to kick my exercise into high gear....but in reality the only 'formal' exercise I'm getting is my two nights of zumba. That HAS to be rectified!
Thursday, August 05, 2010
So I talked yesterday about the sports bra and my purchase of a new one that I liked. All was good. I went to zumba last night and I had a problem of a different kind. I had learned the hard way a year or so ago that commando is not always the best option while exercising. I also learned (but didn't write about) the fact taht certain underwear are not conducive to zumba. So I'm always very cognizant of what underwear I put on before zumba. But last night...my SHORTS kept riding in weird and uncomfortable ways. No fears, I just picked the zumba induced wedgie out (ok, so it wasn't a wedgie...the shorts kept getting twisted or something) and kept rolling. So really, seriously...what is the best option out there for zumba.....inquiring minds want want to know. I'll keep trying my different clothes until I hit upon the magical outfit. Of course as soon as I figure that out, I'll lose and the clothes will be too big. Good problem though.
My weight was lookin' good this morning! WOo hooo!!!
My weight was lookin' good this morning! WOo hooo!!!
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
What's rolling around in my head.
No deep thoughts today. No wild advice. Not much in my head right now.....well, not about weight loss. What's in my head......a song that we have been dancin'/exercisin' to in Zumba the last two weeks. "Man with a Hex". Just a fun one to workout to. What else is in my head....well, honestly, that's just it. And I'm sitting here at work my leg jiggling wanting to get up and move to the song that is pounding through my thoughts!
I got to thinkin'....the songs that I am wanting to add to my ipod/iphone (and/or..probably both)are actually songs that get in my head at zumba...and while they are in my head, I just want to get up and MOVE. I REALLY need to get these songs downloaded ASAP....because if I'm cleaning and they start playing....don't you think I will shake my 'booty' a little bit more? Hey, every extra shake is an extra calorie burned!!!!
Oh yes, I'm also thinking about my new sports bra. (Sorry guys). I was walking through the dreaded Walmart the other day (yeah, I very rarely go in there...I prefer Target) and I saw the sports bras. In that split second I decided that I needed a new sports bra. Mine are started to get old and ratty. I started looking and I decided to break from the traditional 'tube sock wrapped around your boobs' style sports bra and went with one that is actually shaped and molded for a more comfortable fit (danskin...and it was only 10 or 11 bucks).....thus you have less of a uni-boob with this one. So I figured I'd try it. Well, I actually liked it. :-) So I'm thinking about that too (and about going back to get another one...lol)
So there you have it...my mindless thoughts for the day. I'm still holding in there strong. I'll be going out to lunch today...but I'm sure that I'll be able to navigate and find something healthy wherever we end up going AND/OR manage what I eat by countering it with a REALLY healthy dinner (I had fruit for breakfast so I'm off to a good start).
I got to thinkin'....the songs that I am wanting to add to my ipod/iphone (and/or..probably both)are actually songs that get in my head at zumba...and while they are in my head, I just want to get up and MOVE. I REALLY need to get these songs downloaded ASAP....because if I'm cleaning and they start playing....don't you think I will shake my 'booty' a little bit more? Hey, every extra shake is an extra calorie burned!!!!
Oh yes, I'm also thinking about my new sports bra. (Sorry guys). I was walking through the dreaded Walmart the other day (yeah, I very rarely go in there...I prefer Target) and I saw the sports bras. In that split second I decided that I needed a new sports bra. Mine are started to get old and ratty. I started looking and I decided to break from the traditional 'tube sock wrapped around your boobs' style sports bra and went with one that is actually shaped and molded for a more comfortable fit (danskin...and it was only 10 or 11 bucks).....thus you have less of a uni-boob with this one. So I figured I'd try it. Well, I actually liked it. :-) So I'm thinking about that too (and about going back to get another one...lol)
So there you have it...my mindless thoughts for the day. I'm still holding in there strong. I'll be going out to lunch today...but I'm sure that I'll be able to navigate and find something healthy wherever we end up going AND/OR manage what I eat by countering it with a REALLY healthy dinner (I had fruit for breakfast so I'm off to a good start).
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Shift in mentality
Yay, my weight dropped this morning so now I've recouped that 'false gain' that I showed on Saturday at Weight Watchers (I was showing up 1.8 pounds on Saturday) AND the .4 that I showed yesterday morning. So I'm relieved. Back to the nitty gritty of losing.
I made an interesting observation yesterday evening/this morning. Let me go back to the last few days........Late last week, I went grocery shopping. I picked up my normal assortment of fruit and moved on. The next day I was out and about and some fruit caught my eye, so I bought it. Saturday I went to the city market and just HAD to have the nectarines......and it continued. So I opened my fridge yesterday to get something to eat. It's just jam packed full...of FRUIT! I have watermelon, cantaloupe, kiwi, strawberries (OK, I polished them off last night), cherries, grapes, and clementines. The remnants of a fruit tray from a party the other night came home with me also, as everyone knew that I eat a fair amount of fruit...so add pineapple and honeydew to my list of available fruits. I have fruit coming out of my ears! So what is so interesting about this? I realized that my mentality has shifted back into the RIGHT direction. I didn't just buy the fruit because I HAD to, I bought it because I couldn't resist. I didn't buy snack foods and such...I loaded up on fruits. It used to be the other way around, I would load up on the junk food and the snack food and sometimes wouldn't even buy fruit for weeks at a time...or if I did buy fruit, it would go bad before I would even eat a bite. I've come a long long way.
Shifts in mentality......sometimes we don't even realize that the shift has been made until it's already a done deal, but if we keep on keepin' on, the shift WILL occur.
I made an interesting observation yesterday evening/this morning. Let me go back to the last few days........Late last week, I went grocery shopping. I picked up my normal assortment of fruit and moved on. The next day I was out and about and some fruit caught my eye, so I bought it. Saturday I went to the city market and just HAD to have the nectarines......and it continued. So I opened my fridge yesterday to get something to eat. It's just jam packed full...of FRUIT! I have watermelon, cantaloupe, kiwi, strawberries (OK, I polished them off last night), cherries, grapes, and clementines. The remnants of a fruit tray from a party the other night came home with me also, as everyone knew that I eat a fair amount of fruit...so add pineapple and honeydew to my list of available fruits. I have fruit coming out of my ears! So what is so interesting about this? I realized that my mentality has shifted back into the RIGHT direction. I didn't just buy the fruit because I HAD to, I bought it because I couldn't resist. I didn't buy snack foods and such...I loaded up on fruits. It used to be the other way around, I would load up on the junk food and the snack food and sometimes wouldn't even buy fruit for weeks at a time...or if I did buy fruit, it would go bad before I would even eat a bite. I've come a long long way.
Shifts in mentality......sometimes we don't even realize that the shift has been made until it's already a done deal, but if we keep on keepin' on, the shift WILL occur.
Monday, August 02, 2010
Find me!
Hagerstown Dancers Add Spice to National Dance Day
Find me in the video!!!!!
The other day I was talking about Zumba and stepping outside of my comfort zone to go to zumba. I stepped outside of my comfort zone again. They had a zumba-thon (that's what I called it). Basically 3 hours with different zumba instructors and different dance/exercise instructors leading short class segments. I decided to go.....even though I would be attending by myself. I don't like to do stuff by myself, it's....well....lets just say that I usually chose to NOT do something versus doing it on my own. Well, not this time. I was going to that thing if it killed me. AND I told myself that I was going to try everything I could possibly try. I was goign to try each instructor. I was going to try each type of dance. I was going to do it all. And I DID. I was just shy of 3 hours of dancing. I ended up having to stop about 5 minutes from the end.....I just got too hot and toooo tired. I had fun. Would I have had more fun if I had a friend to attend with? Yeah, but I did it on my own.
I LOVED the Drumming. Check it out, it's called Drum's Alive. Unfortunately, I dont' belong to the gym that offers it (and they only offer one class which I couldn't make even if I still did belong to that gym).
I've put together another good week. So two good weeks. The scales did NOT show my efforts this week. I battled with the female monthly hormone water retention/weight spike. I also admit that I ate way too many foods that were a bit higher in sodium. So that affected it also. But I refuse to worry.....it's all good and if I continue on the path that I've been on for two whole weeks, the weight WILL drop!
Find me in the video!!!!!
The other day I was talking about Zumba and stepping outside of my comfort zone to go to zumba. I stepped outside of my comfort zone again. They had a zumba-thon (that's what I called it). Basically 3 hours with different zumba instructors and different dance/exercise instructors leading short class segments. I decided to go.....even though I would be attending by myself. I don't like to do stuff by myself, it's....well....lets just say that I usually chose to NOT do something versus doing it on my own. Well, not this time. I was going to that thing if it killed me. AND I told myself that I was going to try everything I could possibly try. I was goign to try each instructor. I was going to try each type of dance. I was going to do it all. And I DID. I was just shy of 3 hours of dancing. I ended up having to stop about 5 minutes from the end.....I just got too hot and toooo tired. I had fun. Would I have had more fun if I had a friend to attend with? Yeah, but I did it on my own.
I LOVED the Drumming. Check it out, it's called Drum's Alive. Unfortunately, I dont' belong to the gym that offers it (and they only offer one class which I couldn't make even if I still did belong to that gym).
I've put together another good week. So two good weeks. The scales did NOT show my efforts this week. I battled with the female monthly hormone water retention/weight spike. I also admit that I ate way too many foods that were a bit higher in sodium. So that affected it also. But I refuse to worry.....it's all good and if I continue on the path that I've been on for two whole weeks, the weight WILL drop!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Comfort Zone
Thursday....after today, just one more day to make it to the weekend!!! YAY!
Last night was Zumba. For the first time since I stepped in that stupid ground hog hole in mid June, my foot didn't ache and REALLY hurt. I pushed myself, or rather, I felt like I pushed myself to hop and jump a little more. It's a great exercise class for modifications. If you want to have a lower impact, you tap and side step. You can add a little hop or bounce to your step if you want a little more. And if you are capable and want a full out workout...you can jump and bounce around to your hearts content. I like it because it combines some of the classic dance moves (salsa, merengue, etc etc etc) with fitness moves (kickboxing, lunges, etc etc etc) and combines it all with fun Latin music. The hour really does fly by...and I don't know how anyone could walk out without having worked up a sweat. :-) I have to admit, I was actually rather nervous about going into the class. I had some Friends telling me for WEEKS upon MONTHS to try it. But, I don't dance. I don't merengue or salsa (or any of the other steps). Bellydance? ME? HA HA HA. My butt doesn't shake in a sexy way. When I try to shake my butt, people in neighboring counties run for cover. So yeah, I was sooo skeptical. I started in the back row. And I'll admit, I was LOST. I was left footing it when I should be right footing it. I was going frontwards when I should be going backwards. I was two steps behind at all times. But it was fun. I went back the next week....and I got a little better. I now go twice a week...and no, I still don't think i move with any grace...and when a song calls for a little butt shaking? Well, lets just say I jiggle with the best of them.....and to heck with the people in neighboring counties that may be scared of the incoming flab. It's fun. People that have been there longer than I, still struggle with the choreography sometimes. We just laugh at it. I'm ever so grateful that I took the plunge, stamped down my fear and went to that first class. If anyone reading this has been wanting (or advised by friends, like I was) to try something like this...DO IT! Step out of your comfort zone! I did and I found out that I really do enjoy it.
Makes one wonder.....how else are we keeping ourselves tied up in chains because we are afraid to step out of our comfort zone??????
Stupid weight is up....but when I looked at a calendar, I kinda got a clue was to why.....blech.
Last night was Zumba. For the first time since I stepped in that stupid ground hog hole in mid June, my foot didn't ache and REALLY hurt. I pushed myself, or rather, I felt like I pushed myself to hop and jump a little more. It's a great exercise class for modifications. If you want to have a lower impact, you tap and side step. You can add a little hop or bounce to your step if you want a little more. And if you are capable and want a full out workout...you can jump and bounce around to your hearts content. I like it because it combines some of the classic dance moves (salsa, merengue, etc etc etc) with fitness moves (kickboxing, lunges, etc etc etc) and combines it all with fun Latin music. The hour really does fly by...and I don't know how anyone could walk out without having worked up a sweat. :-) I have to admit, I was actually rather nervous about going into the class. I had some Friends telling me for WEEKS upon MONTHS to try it. But, I don't dance. I don't merengue or salsa (or any of the other steps). Bellydance? ME? HA HA HA. My butt doesn't shake in a sexy way. When I try to shake my butt, people in neighboring counties run for cover. So yeah, I was sooo skeptical. I started in the back row. And I'll admit, I was LOST. I was left footing it when I should be right footing it. I was going frontwards when I should be going backwards. I was two steps behind at all times. But it was fun. I went back the next week....and I got a little better. I now go twice a week...and no, I still don't think i move with any grace...and when a song calls for a little butt shaking? Well, lets just say I jiggle with the best of them.....and to heck with the people in neighboring counties that may be scared of the incoming flab. It's fun. People that have been there longer than I, still struggle with the choreography sometimes. We just laugh at it. I'm ever so grateful that I took the plunge, stamped down my fear and went to that first class. If anyone reading this has been wanting (or advised by friends, like I was) to try something like this...DO IT! Step out of your comfort zone! I did and I found out that I really do enjoy it.
Makes one wonder.....how else are we keeping ourselves tied up in chains because we are afraid to step out of our comfort zone??????
Stupid weight is up....but when I looked at a calendar, I kinda got a clue was to why.....blech.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I was sitting here in front of a blank screen wondering what to write. I made a vow that I would write in my journal on a daily basis, because I know that it keeps me grounded, it keeps me on track and it's my link to accountability throughout the week. So I sat here KNOWING that it was something that I needed to do....but what to write about?
I could write about the dangers of sodium. Sort-term in regards to the scales. Why would I be thinking about sodium? Because I had popcorn last night...and popcorn without a lot of salt is just not good in my opinion...so when I do it up, I do it up right. I woke up in the middle of the night thirsty and then I woke up absolutely parched this morning. That is usually a sign that I'm already somewhat dehydrated.....and usually means that my weight will be up a pound or two on the scale that day like clockwork. I did step on the scale and I was up, not a pound or two but, by 2/10ths of a pound. So I was actually somewhat happy So anyway, the dangers of salt.....boring. I don't want to write about that.
Zumba! I could write about Zumba. I do really enjoy Zumba. It's a good workout....I go twice a week (Tuesday and Wednesday nights). Yeah, not so much to say about that either.
Stress and it's affects on my weight loss journey? Yeah, I've got some major decisions to make and some stressful situations happening on a daily basis. But you know what...that's negative. I'm trying to not focus on the negative.
So what can I say? I will say that I'm keeping my eating under control. I'm not splurging. I'm not eating my worries and sorrows and yes, tears away. I'm holding staedy. I'm just taking it one day at a time and putting my best foot forward and hoping for.....NO....expecting the best to happen with my weight loss.
Expectations!
What are my expecatations with my weight loss? What do I want to get out of it?
1. Health
2. Happiness
3. Feeling good about myself
I so didn't want to leave the happiness there. Because I KNOW that being thin and losing weight doesn't bring happiness. And I KNOW that I'm setting myself up for failure if I expect it to do so. However, I can't help but hope that my weight loss will magically coincide with happiness. TRUE happiness. But I learned my lesson.....when I reached my goal weight a year or two ago...I expected happiness to cure all of my woes. It would take all my troubles away. Life would just all of a sudden be one wonderful place. Then the crashing realization hit me that these problems that I'm dealing with in my life were not caused by my weight...my weight was simply the scapgoat....and I lost my focus....and regained. I don't know if I've ever said on here how much I've regained...but it's time for total and absolute honesty. I've regained 50 pounds. I'm going to get those 50 pounds off. And this time, while I hope and dream of happiness. I'm not going to pin my happiness on my weight loss. Weight loss will make me happy...but I know that it will not take the situations in my life that cause me unhappiness away.
So there you have it...a post that literally just sprang from my fingertips unbiden.
I could write about the dangers of sodium. Sort-term in regards to the scales. Why would I be thinking about sodium? Because I had popcorn last night...and popcorn without a lot of salt is just not good in my opinion...so when I do it up, I do it up right. I woke up in the middle of the night thirsty and then I woke up absolutely parched this morning. That is usually a sign that I'm already somewhat dehydrated.....and usually means that my weight will be up a pound or two on the scale that day like clockwork. I did step on the scale and I was up, not a pound or two but, by 2/10ths of a pound. So I was actually somewhat happy So anyway, the dangers of salt.....boring. I don't want to write about that.
Zumba! I could write about Zumba. I do really enjoy Zumba. It's a good workout....I go twice a week (Tuesday and Wednesday nights). Yeah, not so much to say about that either.
Stress and it's affects on my weight loss journey? Yeah, I've got some major decisions to make and some stressful situations happening on a daily basis. But you know what...that's negative. I'm trying to not focus on the negative.
So what can I say? I will say that I'm keeping my eating under control. I'm not splurging. I'm not eating my worries and sorrows and yes, tears away. I'm holding staedy. I'm just taking it one day at a time and putting my best foot forward and hoping for.....NO....expecting the best to happen with my weight loss.
Expectations!
What are my expecatations with my weight loss? What do I want to get out of it?
1. Health
2. Happiness
3. Feeling good about myself
I so didn't want to leave the happiness there. Because I KNOW that being thin and losing weight doesn't bring happiness. And I KNOW that I'm setting myself up for failure if I expect it to do so. However, I can't help but hope that my weight loss will magically coincide with happiness. TRUE happiness. But I learned my lesson.....when I reached my goal weight a year or two ago...I expected happiness to cure all of my woes. It would take all my troubles away. Life would just all of a sudden be one wonderful place. Then the crashing realization hit me that these problems that I'm dealing with in my life were not caused by my weight...my weight was simply the scapgoat....and I lost my focus....and regained. I don't know if I've ever said on here how much I've regained...but it's time for total and absolute honesty. I've regained 50 pounds. I'm going to get those 50 pounds off. And this time, while I hope and dream of happiness. I'm not going to pin my happiness on my weight loss. Weight loss will make me happy...but I know that it will not take the situations in my life that cause me unhappiness away.
So there you have it...a post that literally just sprang from my fingertips unbiden.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Worth it!
Am I worth all this work of losing weight? I've talked about it over and over. I've thought about it long and hard. I come up with my response and it's an emphatic YES! I am worth it. Yet, do I ACT like I belive it? I don't think that I do. Why do I say this?
The other day I was home alone and preparing my dinner. I went to the cabinet to see what canned foods that I could pull out for myself. I reached for a can of corn and then I stopped myself. Canned corn is actually icky in comparison to the freshly cut corn from the cob that I freeze for our consumption. I have a freezer shelf full of the good stuff. I would never think of using canned corn in preparing a meal for my husband! I only serve him the good stuff. Why would I therefore revert to the store-bought canned stuff for myself? It really and truely made no sense to me. And yes, I turned around and marched myself to the freezer and I had GOOD corn for my dinner.
Another example that hit me....I spend a decent amount time creating and cooking meals for Todd and I. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy treating him to delicacies that I create. When Todd works in the evening, I do not cook for myself. I throw something together....a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a butter and jelly sandwich, something easy. A big cooking extragavanza for when I'm on my own is making a grilled cheese. That is just plain sad.
So I came to the conclusion this weekend that while I say I'm worth it......I'm not ACTING 100% like I'm worth it.
The other day I was home alone and preparing my dinner. I went to the cabinet to see what canned foods that I could pull out for myself. I reached for a can of corn and then I stopped myself. Canned corn is actually icky in comparison to the freshly cut corn from the cob that I freeze for our consumption. I have a freezer shelf full of the good stuff. I would never think of using canned corn in preparing a meal for my husband! I only serve him the good stuff. Why would I therefore revert to the store-bought canned stuff for myself? It really and truely made no sense to me. And yes, I turned around and marched myself to the freezer and I had GOOD corn for my dinner.
Another example that hit me....I spend a decent amount time creating and cooking meals for Todd and I. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy treating him to delicacies that I create. When Todd works in the evening, I do not cook for myself. I throw something together....a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a butter and jelly sandwich, something easy. A big cooking extragavanza for when I'm on my own is making a grilled cheese. That is just plain sad.
So I came to the conclusion this weekend that while I say I'm worth it......I'm not ACTING 100% like I'm worth it.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Intact
I did it.....I made it through a weekend and kept myself totally under control with my eating! TOTALLY...100%. OK ok ok, not 100%, I did splurge and I used 3 of my flex points on Sunday evening. Three points though...not 30 points each day. And three points extra is well within what is still considered 'on plan' with Weight Watchers. WEEEEEEEEEEEE
I was a bit nervous about Sunday. Todd had a cancellation and we ended up going out for lunch. AND I had dinner already planned. I thought and ordered wisely. Salad with grilled chicken, hold the bacon and dressing on the side please and thank you very much. It was a really good salad also. :-)
So here is the kicker.....I realize exactly how much damage my weekends are doing to me now.
My week results for weight watchers showed me with a loss of 2.8 pounds. Respectable. Very respectable. I was quite happy with that. Especially since I weighed in wearing heavier clothes than I normally The 7 days between the previous weigh in and that one had been spent thusly. Day 1 and Day 2....eat with very little control. Day 3-7 Eat healthy and within plan (oh yeah, and that within plan included Pizza Hut...dinner for two...which is a medium pizza, breadsticks, salad and a drink.....and I ate each morsel of my half of the dinner for two). And then weigh in. But my weekend, like all of the previous weekend was one total gorge.
My challenge weight. I weighed in last monday...so today was weigh in day. There shouldn't be a big difference right? I mean, the only difference was a measley two days....a Saturday and a Sunday. BUT, the Saturday and Sunday that was on the weight watchers weigh in week was a dismal failure. On the flip side, the Saturday and Sunday that were included on the challenge weight weigh in were totally on target. Soooo how did I do for my challenge weight???? 4.8 pounds. So my weekend eating is costing me 2 pounds each week? 2 pounds?????? Is any of the food that I'm shovelling in on my weekends worth 2 pounds????? Wow.
************
I'm still not sure what to do about the weight watchers meeting fiasco. I've talked to some friends. I've listened to what everyone is saying here. I've talked to my husband. I honestly go back and forth between my options. I checked, my credit card was just charged for this next month...(as in charged on the 23rd charged...so JUST)...so I'm paid up until September 7th......so I have until August 23rd to cancel should I chose to do so.
*************
Goals for my upcoming week:
1. Stay on plan......
2. Exercise at least 5 times (same goal as last week...last week I exercised 4 times)
3. Begin taking my daily multi-vitamin
4. Don't allow the stress in my life to rule my weight loss journey. The issue that causes the most stress has raised it's ugly head...so this will be difficult.
5. Focus on me...and remember that I'm the one that has the ultimate control over what I eat! Only me! Yeah, there may be situations that make things difficult, but I'm still in control over what I put into my mouth!
************
I've been thinking about rewards again. I need to set up rewards.
So.......
For every pound I lose, I will allow myself to buy a song or something on Itunes. I am usually cheap and don't purchase new music......Going by my Monday weigh in as that's going to be my 'blog' weigh in day. So today I show a 4.8 pound loss...that's 4 songs! The good news about this week....I only have to lose .2 to get another song. :-)
For dropping below 200 pounds again...I'm not sure...but I want it to be something that will be symbolic of me NEVER returning to the two hundreds again. Ohhh a snake skin purse...because snakes SHED their skins????? Something to do with fire? Because that bridege to return is burnt????? Any good ideas?
I was a bit nervous about Sunday. Todd had a cancellation and we ended up going out for lunch. AND I had dinner already planned. I thought and ordered wisely. Salad with grilled chicken, hold the bacon and dressing on the side please and thank you very much. It was a really good salad also. :-)
So here is the kicker.....I realize exactly how much damage my weekends are doing to me now.
My week results for weight watchers showed me with a loss of 2.8 pounds. Respectable. Very respectable. I was quite happy with that. Especially since I weighed in wearing heavier clothes than I normally The 7 days between the previous weigh in and that one had been spent thusly. Day 1 and Day 2....eat with very little control. Day 3-7 Eat healthy and within plan (oh yeah, and that within plan included Pizza Hut...dinner for two...which is a medium pizza, breadsticks, salad and a drink.....and I ate each morsel of my half of the dinner for two). And then weigh in. But my weekend, like all of the previous weekend was one total gorge.
My challenge weight. I weighed in last monday...so today was weigh in day. There shouldn't be a big difference right? I mean, the only difference was a measley two days....a Saturday and a Sunday. BUT, the Saturday and Sunday that was on the weight watchers weigh in week was a dismal failure. On the flip side, the Saturday and Sunday that were included on the challenge weight weigh in were totally on target. Soooo how did I do for my challenge weight???? 4.8 pounds. So my weekend eating is costing me 2 pounds each week? 2 pounds?????? Is any of the food that I'm shovelling in on my weekends worth 2 pounds????? Wow.
************
I'm still not sure what to do about the weight watchers meeting fiasco. I've talked to some friends. I've listened to what everyone is saying here. I've talked to my husband. I honestly go back and forth between my options. I checked, my credit card was just charged for this next month...(as in charged on the 23rd charged...so JUST)...so I'm paid up until September 7th......so I have until August 23rd to cancel should I chose to do so.
*************
Goals for my upcoming week:
1. Stay on plan......
2. Exercise at least 5 times (same goal as last week...last week I exercised 4 times)
3. Begin taking my daily multi-vitamin
4. Don't allow the stress in my life to rule my weight loss journey. The issue that causes the most stress has raised it's ugly head...so this will be difficult.
5. Focus on me...and remember that I'm the one that has the ultimate control over what I eat! Only me! Yeah, there may be situations that make things difficult, but I'm still in control over what I put into my mouth!
************
I've been thinking about rewards again. I need to set up rewards.
So.......
For every pound I lose, I will allow myself to buy a song or something on Itunes. I am usually cheap and don't purchase new music......Going by my Monday weigh in as that's going to be my 'blog' weigh in day. So today I show a 4.8 pound loss...that's 4 songs! The good news about this week....I only have to lose .2 to get another song. :-)
For dropping below 200 pounds again...I'm not sure...but I want it to be something that will be symbolic of me NEVER returning to the two hundreds again. Ohhh a snake skin purse...because snakes SHED their skins????? Something to do with fire? Because that bridege to return is burnt????? Any good ideas?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Unrealistic goals
I was driving up to town this morning for my butt crack of dawn weight watchers meeting and got to thinking about my weekend plans. Those plans? Laundry, clean the house, make a couple meals and blessedly, after work today (Saturday until noon) nothing else. A glorious weekend of relaxation. (I've said this before and I usually end up running around doing stuff.....we'll see). The weekend loomed big in my thoughts as I pondered activities that I can do and complete this weekend. And then I had the brain child idea. I will do one activity (clean the kitchen) and then I'll do 1/2 hour of exercise. Then I'll do another activity (play on my computer) and then follow that up with another 1/2 hour of exercise. Then watch a movie, followed up by some more exercise. I'll exercise my way through the weekend. How wonderful does that sound? I drove a little further down the road and started laughing. There is NO way on earth that I'd be able to keep up that pace and that plan. It is totally unrealistic! I know that once I start watching movies, that exercise will be the furthest thing from my mind. I am so not going to want to get up off the nice comfy sofa, where I will probably have a cat or two cuddling up with me, to go exercise....just to go back to the sofa for another movie. Yes, I will probably ride the exercise bike for the first 1/2 hour to hour of the FIRST movie. But it's unrealistic to think that my original plan would work.
So how unrealistic are the goals that we set for ourselves? Yes, there are 22 more weeks in this year....and yes they say that a healthy weigh loss is up to 2 pounds a week. So yes, it would be HEALTHY for me to say that I was aiming to lose 44 pounds by the end of the year. Is it realistic? BARELY....life doesn't always work that way...there is a lot of vacation time, holidays and birthdays between now and then. Will I aim for that? Of course! But I'm not setting it as a time goal.....it is just an estimated time frame for me to reach that goal. But how many times to I set myself up for failure because I set unrealistic goals?
Well, I lost 2.8 pounds today. I'm so happy....and I'm heading into my weekend with a plan for eating healthy and staying on track!
OK, so here is where I"m at. I was at my meeting this morning and they announced that the 7AM meeting (which I have to leave 5 minutes early as it is, in order to make it to work on time) is being closed. They are combining the 7AM meeting with he 8Am meeting.....and having it at 7:30. So "it's only a half hour". But that makes it unattainable for me on the weeks that I work. I am so upset that I could cry. Just when I feel like I'm getting a handle on things...........
So I have a couple options...I've already asked some friends their opinions via email...but I need more opinions!
1. Quit going to meetings for the time being and try (once again to go it on my own). Driving back to work, I came up with a few ideas that may help keep me on track if I take this option.
*keep my e-tools- I like tracking on e-tools, especially since I can track on my phone even while I"m eating
*weekly, take a full body picture (clothed of course...tee hee hee) AND a picture of the number on the
scales....and post it on my blog for accountability. And ask my blog readers and my friends to keep me accountable.....have a set day for it!
2. There is a Thursday night meeting that I could conceivably make. It would be TIGHT....as in I get off work and I would barely have time to get there, and if I was held up at work for whatever reason (happens sometimes) I'd not make it.
*the pro is that I would be in a more consistent meeting
*the con, I'd be rushed
*the other con, I already am away and doing something on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings with my zumba after work. My husband is very accommodating, to the point that when he's home, he's OK with the fact that dinner isn't served until 8PM...actually later since I don't get home until 8PM. Is that fair to him to ask him to accommodate me another night....and we don't have many nights together as it is.
3. I could continue on and only go to meetings every other week....when I'm not working.
*pro-I'd still be going and having that accountability
*con- I'd be paying $20 per meeting
*there is a slight chance that on the 'work on Saturday' weeks, I could possibly get to a Tuesday morning meeting that they hold at 10AM, since my 6 day work week, they try to not have me come in until noon on Tuesday.
-con to that is that I'd be weighing in on Saturday and then turn around and weigh in again 3 days later
-con I like the consistency of meetings....I get the most from the people that I talk to at my meetings..
-pro- I'd be in a meeting each and every week!
I don't want to be a meeting attender that hops from meeting to meeting and/or sporadically attends. But it looks as if I may have to if I want to continue. What are your thoughts?
So how unrealistic are the goals that we set for ourselves? Yes, there are 22 more weeks in this year....and yes they say that a healthy weigh loss is up to 2 pounds a week. So yes, it would be HEALTHY for me to say that I was aiming to lose 44 pounds by the end of the year. Is it realistic? BARELY....life doesn't always work that way...there is a lot of vacation time, holidays and birthdays between now and then. Will I aim for that? Of course! But I'm not setting it as a time goal.....it is just an estimated time frame for me to reach that goal. But how many times to I set myself up for failure because I set unrealistic goals?
Well, I lost 2.8 pounds today. I'm so happy....and I'm heading into my weekend with a plan for eating healthy and staying on track!
OK, so here is where I"m at. I was at my meeting this morning and they announced that the 7AM meeting (which I have to leave 5 minutes early as it is, in order to make it to work on time) is being closed. They are combining the 7AM meeting with he 8Am meeting.....and having it at 7:30. So "it's only a half hour". But that makes it unattainable for me on the weeks that I work. I am so upset that I could cry. Just when I feel like I'm getting a handle on things...........
So I have a couple options...I've already asked some friends their opinions via email...but I need more opinions!
1. Quit going to meetings for the time being and try (once again to go it on my own). Driving back to work, I came up with a few ideas that may help keep me on track if I take this option.
*keep my e-tools- I like tracking on e-tools, especially since I can track on my phone even while I"m eating
*weekly, take a full body picture (clothed of course...tee hee hee) AND a picture of the number on the
scales....and post it on my blog for accountability. And ask my blog readers and my friends to keep me accountable.....have a set day for it!
2. There is a Thursday night meeting that I could conceivably make. It would be TIGHT....as in I get off work and I would barely have time to get there, and if I was held up at work for whatever reason (happens sometimes) I'd not make it.
*the pro is that I would be in a more consistent meeting
*the con, I'd be rushed
*the other con, I already am away and doing something on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings with my zumba after work. My husband is very accommodating, to the point that when he's home, he's OK with the fact that dinner isn't served until 8PM...actually later since I don't get home until 8PM. Is that fair to him to ask him to accommodate me another night....and we don't have many nights together as it is.
3. I could continue on and only go to meetings every other week....when I'm not working.
*pro-I'd still be going and having that accountability
*con- I'd be paying $20 per meeting
*there is a slight chance that on the 'work on Saturday' weeks, I could possibly get to a Tuesday morning meeting that they hold at 10AM, since my 6 day work week, they try to not have me come in until noon on Tuesday.
-con to that is that I'd be weighing in on Saturday and then turn around and weigh in again 3 days later
-con I like the consistency of meetings....I get the most from the people that I talk to at my meetings..
-pro- I'd be in a meeting each and every week!
I don't want to be a meeting attender that hops from meeting to meeting and/or sporadically attends. But it looks as if I may have to if I want to continue. What are your thoughts?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Why?
Why do I write in my journal? What is the draw, the pull that has kept me coming back consistently for over 4 years. And yes, it has been relatively consistent. I dont' think there has been a month that I didn't come at all...and never only once.
I write for me. I'm not writing thinkng about PR or book deals or reviews or anything other than ME. ME, MYSELF AND I! I write what is in my head. I write about what is going on in my life. I write about my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes those thoughts and feelings aren't pretty. Sometimes they are super happy. But when I go back and read them as a whole...maybe a month or two of entries at a time, I have learned so much about me. It's hard to be objective about yourself. It's a tad bit easier when you are reading your downfalls and successes in black and white.
Yes, I hope that anyone reading this blog finds some inspiration or motivation to continue on their journey......but that is secondary...because the blog is written for my own personal, my own personal chronical of how and what it has taken for me to get to where I'm at, emotionally AND weightwise.
That said...lets move on to my update. Last night I got home from work and I did ok with my eating....I struggled. I was alone and just really wanted to dive head-first into the cabinets. HOWEVER, I ate dinner....and then I pulled out the dance pad for Dance Dance Revolution and played for about 40 minutes. Not high intensity exercise...but activity none-the-less. :-) Little Winny really wanted to exercise with me though.
My weight this morning....holding steady! :-)
I write for me. I'm not writing thinkng about PR or book deals or reviews or anything other than ME. ME, MYSELF AND I! I write what is in my head. I write about what is going on in my life. I write about my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes those thoughts and feelings aren't pretty. Sometimes they are super happy. But when I go back and read them as a whole...maybe a month or two of entries at a time, I have learned so much about me. It's hard to be objective about yourself. It's a tad bit easier when you are reading your downfalls and successes in black and white.
Yes, I hope that anyone reading this blog finds some inspiration or motivation to continue on their journey......but that is secondary...because the blog is written for my own personal, my own personal chronical of how and what it has taken for me to get to where I'm at, emotionally AND weightwise.
That said...lets move on to my update. Last night I got home from work and I did ok with my eating....I struggled. I was alone and just really wanted to dive head-first into the cabinets. HOWEVER, I ate dinner....and then I pulled out the dance pad for Dance Dance Revolution and played for about 40 minutes. Not high intensity exercise...but activity none-the-less. :-) Little Winny really wanted to exercise with me though.
My weight this morning....holding steady! :-)
The good, the bad and the ugly
So what do we talk about first? Good??? Bad??? Ugly??? Well, I'm just not sure, especially since some of the good was actually bad and could have turned ugly. Hmmm....ok ok ok, I'll just start at the beginning of yesterday.
As I wrote yesterday I hopped on the exercise bike and nailed 1/2 hour of riding before coming to work. I came to work and completed my four hours of fun. After work I went home, put on my comfy clothes (ie. not work clothes) and todd and I headed out. We had to adjust our plans as we were originally going to go southward, but Todd had taken Little Winny
(little winny is the small one in the picture) and Jody 
to the vet in the morning. Little Winny received her shots and was sent home. Jody had to stay for some test....so we had to be in Hagerstown at 4 to pick her up. No problem, we headed northward.
We debated long and hard about where to eat. Todd mentioned Golden Corral, but that just seemed lackluster to me...and more difficult to control. We ended up at Pizza Hut, which Todd was craving. The good? The pizza was just fantastic. It was so tasty. The cheese was gooey and melted. The flavors just burst in my mouth. I was in food heaven...a food induced orgasmic bliss. The bad????? Well, we ordered the dinner for two. That is 2 drinks (diet pepsi for me), breadsticks (yup, they were light, airy, and just plain tasty too), a salad (at least I got a serving of veggies in) and a medium pizza (we did go thin crust to cut down on points and since I don't like much meat, I stuck with cheese.....meat adds points anyway). So there is the good and the bad. The ugly? The possibility of badness on the scales.
After we ate lunch, we ran into Staples and Best Buy looking for a new printer. Basically looking at the options and all that good stuff. We swung out to a farmers market and picked up some fresh produce and also went into the mall for a bit. Just general errands.
Something VERY good.....Todd stopped into Starbucks to pick up a drink. He of course asked if I wanted to order something. I was very tempted.....it was hot and muggy...a nice iced drink would have tasted SOOOo good.
But common sense took over. Yes, it would have tasted so good. Yes it was hot and it would have been a nice cool down. But I had my nice big jug of ice water in the car with me. 
SOOOO, I passed on the iced drink and stuck with my water. HUGE HUGE HUGE victory!
We picked up Jody and went home. I got as much of dinner ready as possible and then I headed out to Zumba. Yes...I made it to zumba! Good workout!
Went home and ate corn on the cob
and baked zucchini 
with some cantalope and then relaxed the rest of the afternoon.
So this morning....was it ugly? I almost didn't step onto the scales. I almost backed out to wait for tomorrow morning. But then I said, "NO, I want to know the damage and then I'll move on". So I stepped on the scale. The scale did it's work and then beeped to tell me that my weight was posted. I about fell off those darn scales.....DOWN! YIPPEE!!! So my eating pretty much only fruits and veggies the rest of the day to accomodate the pizza worked. (ok, I don't like much meat anyway, so it's not that out of the ordinary). My double workout helped. It's working, becuase I'm working the plan!
So what is my plan for today? Hold it together with the eating. I know that I can't eat like yesterday each and every day. SO pulling it together. Get my exercise in (somehow.....I will get off of work at 6 and I have tomatoes to can tonight...but I WILL get the exercise in!). Just work the plan!
As I wrote yesterday I hopped on the exercise bike and nailed 1/2 hour of riding before coming to work. I came to work and completed my four hours of fun. After work I went home, put on my comfy clothes (ie. not work clothes) and todd and I headed out. We had to adjust our plans as we were originally going to go southward, but Todd had taken Little Winny
(little winny is the small one in the picture) and Jody to the vet in the morning. Little Winny received her shots and was sent home. Jody had to stay for some test....so we had to be in Hagerstown at 4 to pick her up. No problem, we headed northward. We debated long and hard about where to eat. Todd mentioned Golden Corral, but that just seemed lackluster to me...and more difficult to control. We ended up at Pizza Hut, which Todd was craving. The good? The pizza was just fantastic. It was so tasty. The cheese was gooey and melted. The flavors just burst in my mouth. I was in food heaven...a food induced orgasmic bliss. The bad????? Well, we ordered the dinner for two. That is 2 drinks (diet pepsi for me), breadsticks (yup, they were light, airy, and just plain tasty too), a salad (at least I got a serving of veggies in) and a medium pizza (we did go thin crust to cut down on points and since I don't like much meat, I stuck with cheese.....meat adds points anyway). So there is the good and the bad. The ugly? The possibility of badness on the scales.
After we ate lunch, we ran into Staples and Best Buy looking for a new printer. Basically looking at the options and all that good stuff. We swung out to a farmers market and picked up some fresh produce and also went into the mall for a bit. Just general errands.
Something VERY good.....Todd stopped into Starbucks to pick up a drink. He of course asked if I wanted to order something. I was very tempted.....it was hot and muggy...a nice iced drink would have tasted SOOOo good.
But common sense took over. Yes, it would have tasted so good. Yes it was hot and it would have been a nice cool down. But I had my nice big jug of ice water in the car with me. SOOOO, I passed on the iced drink and stuck with my water. HUGE HUGE HUGE victory!We picked up Jody and went home. I got as much of dinner ready as possible and then I headed out to Zumba. Yes...I made it to zumba! Good workout!
Went home and ate corn on the cob
and baked zucchini with some cantalope and then relaxed the rest of the afternoon.So this morning....was it ugly? I almost didn't step onto the scales. I almost backed out to wait for tomorrow morning. But then I said, "NO, I want to know the damage and then I'll move on". So I stepped on the scale. The scale did it's work and then beeped to tell me that my weight was posted. I about fell off those darn scales.....DOWN! YIPPEE!!! So my eating pretty much only fruits and veggies the rest of the day to accomodate the pizza worked. (ok, I don't like much meat anyway, so it's not that out of the ordinary). My double workout helped. It's working, becuase I'm working the plan!
So what is my plan for today? Hold it together with the eating. I know that I can't eat like yesterday each and every day. SO pulling it together. Get my exercise in (somehow.....I will get off of work at 6 and I have tomatoes to can tonight...but I WILL get the exercise in!). Just work the plan!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Carb lover
carbs.....evil evil carbs. ok ok ok, so I know that they are not evil. But I love them so. YEsterday, I stayed within my points range, but I have way too many carbs....and my weight popped a little this morning. I told myself that it could have been my workout last night (work the muscles, they swell and retain water for a day or so)...but I'll be honest and say that I had some carbs. Carbs are probably my biggest downfall....I'm drawn to carbs more often than anything else. Yeah, I can lose control with pretty much any food...but carbs....yummy!
As I mentioned....made it to Zumba last night. Pushed myself as hard as I could....kickin' it up a notch. :-)
This morning I woke up early and hopped onto the exercise bike for a 30 minute jaunt (a jaunt to nowhere...but still). I do have zumba tonight, but there is a slight chance that we will not make it home in time for me to go......and I wanted to make sure that I got some sort of exercise in today. If I do make it back (shouldn't be a problem) in time for Zumba, doing Zumba and riding the exercise bike for 30 minutes is NOT going to hurt....it can only help!
Food today may be a bit of a problem.....we are planning on going out for lunch...and Todd mentioned Pizza Hut. (ohhhh yummmmmm......we will get thin crust to cut down on points, even though I love love love the carby goodness of a thick and greasy pan pizza.....but still). I have changed the dinner plans for this evening to a veggie meal. (we will be stopping at a farm market to pick up corn and whatever else strikes our fancy). So I will at least be eating healthy for dinner, breakfast was my normal smoothie...so fruits there. So I should be ok....even with pizza. But it does give me pause for concern. I can do it though....no matter where we go....when I lost weight before, I ate out a lot. It only takes self control. Self control to NOT order something that is totally unhealthy. Self control to not go nuts on the salad bar and load up half of your plate with macaroni salad. (pasta...yum) Self control to only eat 1 portion and put aside the extra piece of chicken, or the extra whatever that is always on your plate. Self control.
Yeah.....carb.....the menace to my journey to be fit and fabulous. :-)
As I mentioned....made it to Zumba last night. Pushed myself as hard as I could....kickin' it up a notch. :-)
This morning I woke up early and hopped onto the exercise bike for a 30 minute jaunt (a jaunt to nowhere...but still). I do have zumba tonight, but there is a slight chance that we will not make it home in time for me to go......and I wanted to make sure that I got some sort of exercise in today. If I do make it back (shouldn't be a problem) in time for Zumba, doing Zumba and riding the exercise bike for 30 minutes is NOT going to hurt....it can only help!
Food today may be a bit of a problem.....we are planning on going out for lunch...and Todd mentioned Pizza Hut. (ohhhh yummmmmm......we will get thin crust to cut down on points, even though I love love love the carby goodness of a thick and greasy pan pizza.....but still). I have changed the dinner plans for this evening to a veggie meal. (we will be stopping at a farm market to pick up corn and whatever else strikes our fancy). So I will at least be eating healthy for dinner, breakfast was my normal smoothie...so fruits there. So I should be ok....even with pizza. But it does give me pause for concern. I can do it though....no matter where we go....when I lost weight before, I ate out a lot. It only takes self control. Self control to NOT order something that is totally unhealthy. Self control to not go nuts on the salad bar and load up half of your plate with macaroni salad. (pasta...yum) Self control to only eat 1 portion and put aside the extra piece of chicken, or the extra whatever that is always on your plate. Self control.
Yeah.....carb.....the menace to my journey to be fit and fabulous. :-)
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