Deep and dark

I was lounging in the hot tub, trying to relax my back (which is actually feeling much better...still tender, but much better) and I was lamenting the fact of "WHY ME"  Why do I end up with a bad back....yeah, I know it's a repeat of a previous issue...but why me????   Why me when it comes to the plantar fasciitis and tarsal tunnel?   Why me????    What about 'the bone???  Why me???     My shoulder muscle that seizes up on me sporadically????   Why me???  My knees???  Why me????

As I sat there lamenting the fact that I have these issues that keep popping up and I was feeling sorry for myself. And then I sat up straighter (or as straight as my back would allow at the moment) and I told myself.  Seriously MF?   What did you expect?  You allowed your weight to rise to over 300 pounds...you lost the weight and felt great and you were stupid enough to allow some of that weight to creep back on.  You've abused your body...and this is the price!   Yes, I've done this all to myself!  

But you know what...I KNOW that a lot of the issues disappear as the weight leaves my body...so I'm going to work on that!!!!!!

I have a deep dark confession to make.  Last night I had a mandatory training for work.  (Anti- money laundering...WEEEE!  I know, I know..you are jealous!)  They fed us.  Last night they brought in subway subs, chips and some packaged cookies.   I took a turkey (no cheese ironically enough...weird) sub...3 inches and about 5 chips.  I actually in the middle of the training snuck my phone out and entered in my food on MFP.  I had some calories left and was excited thinking that I could have one of my cups of ice cream that I have in the freezer.   (prepackaged by Moi)  I had the calories for it!   I decided to grab a can of diet soda on the way out ....why, because I could.  I had drank water the whole meeting and I was actually fine with water.   But right beside the cooler of drinks was the table of cookies.  Yeah, I was bite by the Keebler bug. I won't even say how many I ate...just suffice it to say that it was too many....probably about 6 too many.  (hey, they were small!)  YES, I had 6 of those things!!!!!

Yeah, when I went  get the picture, I saw the calorie count....3 cookies are 140 calories so I ate 280 calories.  I started with one...and it tasted soooo dang good. That puppy melted in my mouth!  Seriously, I was going to only eat one!  I had the calories for it!   But one turned into a handful that I devoured in the car on the way home!   GRRRR

But it didn't stop there.........I got home and I was still hungry.  So I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Wow...another 200-300 calories some calories .  And then simply because ice cream was in my mind, I had my cup of ice cream!   C

Can we say binge????????  378 calories over budget for the day.  GRRRRRRR

Did it...done it!

I did it today with eating. I stopped at Blimpies on the way home today (todd couldn't go with me this morning ...so I said I'd grab lunch on the way home). Well, I THOUGHT about calling him to have him look in the book so I could get something other than my normal sandwich. Of course I know the points for the good old normal sandwich. Well, I didn't....I decided to go with a wrap...I mean, wouldn't you think a wrap would be better than a sub??? Came home...ate it up...and then checked the points. Yep....15 points! Oh yeah....I had a little 1 oz bag of cashews...for 4 points. I was still hungry after my 19 point lunch...so I had a 100 cal pack that was 2 points! Thus taking lunch to a whopping 21 points! Breakfast was oatmeal...3 points. So I have an earthshattering 2 points left for dinner! Wow....

So, that isn't bad enough. I tried to at least compensate for my stupidity error. So I started exercising.....about 45 minutes into it (thank heavens I at least got 45 min in) I actually fell off the step while doing step aerobics.....yeah, my foot isn't doing too good right now. It's not broken....and it's not swelling too badly...so hopefully it won't take long to heal! BUT, what's up with me and weird injuries. Last week it was a cyst that was all weird....the weekend was my shoulderblade (ok, the muscle)...now this?? I can't say that I've been exercising too much...because I've been doing very poorly with exercise lately! Arrgghhhh

Rough week

Didn't make it to my weigh in. Granny took a turn for th worse and we spent all of Tuesday at the hospital with her. I actually had all of my stuff to go to my weigh in....even though I knew that the scales would probably show me up a bit. Granny passed away at 5:20 and I would have had to leave the hospital and go almost right to my meeting. But, I thought it would be poor taste to drag Todd to my meeting less than an hour after his grandmother passed away. So we didn't do that. The biggest problem though this past week....Todd has been craving the comfort foods.....which means that I'm eating comfort foods. Eii yii yii. I counted points for all of the days....except for one...the actual day of the funeral. Up until that day I had only used 2 flex points so I'm not too worried. I've been good since then also.....

However, the scales are not being kind! It is showing me up about two pounds! ARRgGGHH

Then early this week my foot started bothering me again...the pea sized lump was back....joy joy. So i went to the doctor...it's nothing but a ganglion cyst. So I esaed up for another day and went back to exercising a day or so later. Within two days my shoulder blade muscle.....is killing me. As in brings tears to my eyes when I move. So I'm on the sidelines with exercise.......and it's ticking me off!!!

I plan on going to my tuesday meeting......and weigh in. I'm going to take my knocks and not worry about it. The weight WILL come off!