Take that: Stress comes to haunt my weight loss efforts

A month or so ago I wrote about some stress at work.  It was bad!   The stress simmered down and I was doing ok and things were peaceful at work.  In the meantime, I have gotten my eating under control.  So what happened when that stressful thing at work reared it’s ugly head again?  

There is a person at work that..well...she has taken an intense dislike for me.  I know exactly why. She had  made it clear whenever I moved ahead of her in terms of training (we started at the same time and since I learn quickly, I moved through the slow process of training at a faster rate than her).  I know this because she would message me telling me how angry she was with ME whenever I got moved to the next step of training.  Not very subtle eh?   Well she had gotten more subtle.   She jumps on every and anything I do.   I wrote about a month ago about the stress resulting in me not participating in a purchased lunch. It got really ugly.   Really ugly!  There were some very rude and cruel comments made by her...and my other teammates jumped on the bandwagon at that time.   But I overcame them..and by holding my head high, the people that laughed at and with her comments came around and had their eyes opened a bit.  Well it all simmered down until yesterday.   And now it’s back!!  Yesterday was extremely hostile! (Always when the manager/supervisor was not present...of course.   And mostly just one main person...)

I started my day yesterday (before the drama)  with a headache and it just intensified with the stress and open hostility.  I actually grabbed a more substantial lunch (versus my primarily fruit and veggie lunch that was packed), I downed some Advil, I drank caffeine and I tried to keep the headache at a mid level roar.   But by the evening I was a basket case.  I wanted to eat!!   I wanted to eat all sorts of things!!!  Bring on the snacks...the desserts...the candy...I wanted it all!!!

I didn’t indulge  though!!!  I held it together and made wise food choices.  

I worked my altered lunch into my calorie tracker.   I stuck with my planned dinner which was by some miracle already lower in calories.  I ignored the after work snack.  I DID indulge in a bit of ice cream after dinner.  (Small portion!!).  But I held it together!!!

And my weight showed a loss this morning.   I was 242.6.   That is down even further!   So my official loss from my high weight in  mid to late June is 12 pounds!   That makes my ‘acceptable weight range’ 242.6 to 242.6, to account for my daily fluctuations!  That range keeps going lower and lower!   I like it!!!!  I especially like my weight this morning...because that loss is in the face of stress and upset!!!  Take that!!!

Out of the ‘closet eating’

This has been an interesting week.   No, I didn’t run a marathon…or swim the English Channel.  No, I didn’t set the world on fire with my weight loss.  No, I didn’t do anything earth shattering.  But what I DID do was make some discoveries about myself….I my friends, am a closet eater.

 

First let’s talk about my exercise.  I have managed to continue to walk on my breaks and my lunch at work.  That nets me about 6000 steps…and I can usually make it to 7000 -7500 steps with my evening movement once I get home.    That’s not enough.  I’m missing the mark on my 8000 step goal.  I can sometimes walk in the morning before work, but that depends upon the traffic and if I actually make it to work in time to make a lap.    So my steps have been lacking.  BUT…I am walking!   So while not a victory, it’s at least not a colossal failure!

 

That said, I did get some pictures taken of the lake where I walk….

And my ‘exercise trauma/drama for the week was my Thursday Lunch walk.  I was smiling at the beginning.

 But then I twisted my ankle…….and if that wasn’t enough, a bit later I choked on a grape!  But I continued to walk and even pushed my steps a bit further than normal.

So my weight???    Up from last week by about a pound or two.  I woke up thirsty today...not a good sign for the numbers on the scale!  And well...the monthly water retention is right around the corner!!  (Edit:  I posted this ‘Friday’ weekly summary and within 5 minutes realized that the dates looked wonky!  Oh no!  It’s only Thursday!   Talk about disappoint, two more days of work versus one!!  I thought about taking the post down...but decided to leave it up.  Who knows...I might post again tomorrow and make this a four post week!!) 

 

Next up my eating?  I would love to say that I abided by the ‘rules’ that I set forth a few weeks back.  (8000 steps and available calories before I would allow myself a sweet treat at night.”   I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t make this goal…..I did not make the step goal even once.  I did however manage to keep my calories under budget….BARELY!   My top end of the range of calories is 1500….and Wednesday night AFTER I ate my cookies I put in my food for the day…I came in at 1497 calories.  Talk about squeaking by!  

 

But that brings me to my subject of this post.  My eating habits.

 

On Wednesday I made a vow that I was NOT going to eat any cookies.  I made the vow to my friend Julie via an email.  We talked about our significant others and how we were going to resist, even if they sat there shoveling cookies into their mouths like they were a starving Santa Claus.  It was a vow…it was set it stone and written down…No problem.  Right?  Yeah…well…….2 small chocolate chip cookies that night.   I still at least came in under the top end of my caloric range…but seriously…where was my will power????

 

My big problem was the after work snack.  I get home at right around 6PM.  We usually don’t eat until 8 or so.  I have been finding myself gravitating to the kitchen as soon as I get home on some days.  I dig out a handful or chips or pretzels and I indulge.  If it’s only a pretzel stick or two it’s not bad.  But some days I shovel food into my mouth like there is no tomorrow.  Why are some days bad snack days and some days are not so bad?    This week I figured it out.  I am a closet eater.

 

I got home on Wednesday evening,  Jason’s work van was there but he was nowhere to be found inside the apartment.  A quick glance in the den (aka bike bedroom) revealed his bike was missing.  I had a fleeting moment of throwing on my running clothes and heading out for a run.  FLEETING!  Instead, I moseyed (it was a fast trot actually) to the kitchen where I indulged in some chips and dip...some pretzels and dip…..and then to round out the festivities the last handful of Cheetos in the bag.  I finished up just as I heard Jason’s key in the door.  Yeah, I probably would have continued to eat had he not come home.  In fact, had he BEEN at home, I KNOW that I would have only had a small handful of chips.  I indulged because there was no one there to see me.  I’m a closet eater!  

 

 Luckily Jason usually beats me home...so closet eating isn’t an issue every evening.  However, that said I know I can’t rely on ‘never being alone’ to correct my issue.  So I’m working on some plans and ideas to combat this issue of closet eating.  So stay tuned for a future post!