Here I am

I missed yesterday.  A good friend encouraged me to check in every day.  Gotta rebuild the habit.  But I'm doign ok with my eating. I'm not setting the world on fire.  But i'm also not shoving tasty cakes into my mouth.  OK OK OK, i've not done that in YEARS.  I'm watching my points.  Eating sensibly.   Slowly retaking control of my eating.  The rest will fall in line!

Believe

I won't even tell you how many times I've listened to this song in the last few days!   It just speaks to me!

I've been walking with a friend once a week for the last few.  Today while walking with her it cemented in my mind that I'm WORTH the effort.  And I can do it.  It may not be the way I want to do it.  It may not be at the rate I lost it before.  But I can do this!  She also said that I need to write in my blog every day. (and she's right, I have better success when I'm writing...it keeps me grounded)  Even if it's only to say "Hiya"   or "How ya doin'"   So here I am.

My goal.  This week I will be focusing on my eating. My eating NEEDS to get under control.  Sitting on the fence and eating 'ok' during 'most' weeks is not cutting it.  It's keeping me from gaining TONS....but the weeks I lose control causes me to gain...  So this week. From RIGHT NOW onward, i'm going to eat RIGHT!   And yes, she's going to be asking me!  I'm counting on it!

the will

Yes, i'm a total food addict...it's ALWAYS my first thought. And the problem with a food addiction. I acn't just remove myself from situations where I will be confronted with my addiction (ie remove myself from bars if i'm an alcoholic, or whatever) I have to confront my addiction each and every day.




I was watching the biggest loser this morning... (taped it from Tuesday night...season opener) .and they said something about how they wanted to lose because they wanted to LIVE. And it hit me....that's my problem. The first time around, yeah, I had lots of reasons to lose. To try to win something back. (that didn't work) To be healthy to have a baby (still childless) But mainly because I knew that my weight was going to kill me if I didn't do anything about it and more than anything I wanted to live. I've been depressed and while I'm not bad enough to even consider doing something like that ....I don't have a drive, a will to live.  I'm just sitting  back and letting life wash over me and what happens happens. That is the crux of the problem........

A little bit of everything all rolled into one

Didn't make it to weight watchers this morning.  Yeah, bad me.  I'm taking last weeks number and my goal is to be lower than that next week. (which will be hard because I'm assuming that this week would have been higher, so I will have to recoup this last weeks gain, whatever it is/was). So why didn't I go?????   Honestly, I know that in my emotional state, if I would have gone in there and seen a higher number, I probably would have just sat down on the floor and cried. Am I up.  I would wager a HUGE bet yes.  Can I deal with that too right now?  NO.  I know it.  So I just avoided.  Is that the best course of action to avoid?  Probably not.  Am I totally avoiding the situation?  NO.  I've got a goal in my head and I'm going to work toward it.  I'm just avoiding the scale.  (oh and well, I just didn't have the energy to actually get up, get dressed and drive into town....I did all that at the very last second before having to go to work).

Yesterdays eating...ok, lunch was a bit much. I forgot to eat breakfast.... Went to a local Italian eatery for lunch and had  Baked ziti, salad and garlic bread. The owner also made us some kind of fried doughy dessert, which was yummy.  I was so full.   Dinner was late and I had a turkey burger on a bun and some mac-n-cheese.  For dessert I had some no sugar added, low fat ice cream (peanut butter ripple...yum....weis brand)

I made it to zumba.  My back was sore when it was over.  I'm going to continue to go.   I can take it slow.  It's just tired and slightly achy..nothing major.

I wish this funk would just leave.  I don't now what to do....where to turn.  I know somethings in my life have to change..but I'm clueless about how to enact the changes that I need (I'm not in control of some of the changes) and the alternative if those changes are not made is just as abhorrent.

So here I am.  Another day into the history books.  Holding on.  Got dealt another blow last night via email.....it is a blow that COULD go either way.  But the down and dirty thought right now is that I'm left holding the bag waiting for a final answer.  Great just what I need on my plate, one more thing to think about.  One more thing to worry about.  One more thing to clog up my head.

My plans for my eating yesterday?  That is the big question of the day.  How did I do with my eating. I did pretty well while at work.  I ate what was in my lunch and only had a few chips that were not in my lunchbox (the special K chips that were in my lunchbox were really stale...oops...so I threw those away and had some regular chips).  Evening.....well.....extenuating circumstances.  Found out yesterday that Todd's great uncle (he was raised with his grandparents though, so for all intent purposes this is his uncle...one he saw pretty much every day growing up) passed away and the viewing was yesterday evening.  So we mobilized and ran over there for the viewing.....and of course ended up at Battleview (the local convenience store...the ONLY one in this dink town) for dinner.  I ordered a turkey and cheese sub.  And when they asked do you want a whole one or a half one.  What do you think I said?   "Why of course I want a whole one"  ~~~~rolling eyes~~~   And of course I had a bag (individual serving size bag) of chips.  AND if that wasn't enough, we hit up the ice cream shop afterwards.. (chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with peanut butter topping...YUM....I DID order a small).   I didn't eat anything else that evening though...so I guess that's a victory.

Tonight is zumba.......yes, unless something comes up, I'm going.  Baby steps.  And weee, weight watchers tomorrow....I get to go back and see my weight rise.  But no more.....I may have an addiction to food. But food is the ONE thing in my life I do have control over.  I need to take control over this one aspect of my life. 

Silence is....

Silence is fattening in my case.  Historically, when I disappear, I am doing poorly in this weight loss game.  This last time was no different.  I feel off the wagon.  It didn't help that we had vacation stuck smack dab in the middle of my silent period.  Yes, vacations can be healthy and have weight loss results.  BUT mine didn't.  OK OK OK, I'd say about 10 pounds (home scales)....well about 10 pounds on the weight watchers scales tooo....even though our scales are WAY off in what they weigh us at.  (hell, I just put new batteries in the home scales the other week and this morning they won't even turn on....I think new scales will be entering our house tomorrow).   I'm not happy about it AT ALL.  But I know what needs to be done.  Track my food.  Just say no when the urge to snack and eat uncontrollably overtakes me.  Will power baby.  That's what it takes.

The problem?  This is a mental game.  Oh yeah, it's 100% mental.  The choices to eat or not eat something is made in my head. The war within me is fought all in a mental fashion.  I can win the mental game. It takes focus.  I've won it before, that's not a problem.  The problem......I've got so much other.....well...crapola in my mind that I can't focus on the weight.  My mind is whirling in a fever that is unprecedented for me.  Honestly, I just want to curl up in a corner and cry myself into oblivion.  It's not over any one thing in my life.  I can't say that I want to cry because of such and such.  It's just EVERYTHING all combined into one hellish feeling.   I know that my weight is part of it.  Yes, very much so.  But the food addiction overtakes.  Yesterday I fed my addiction.  And I'm going to put it out there...

Woke up, cried for about an hour....ate an English muffin while I packed my lunch for work (all while crying).  I made good choices for my lunch.  I got to work at 10.  By 10:30 I was struggling to hold it together emotionally and my thoughts turned to food (naturally, food is my friend).  My lunch seemed BORING and lackluster....so I called in a food order and went out and picked up a turkey and cheese sub.  I ate that with the soda that I bought.  And then I proceeded to eat the food in my lunch box ANYWAY (throughout the course of the afternoon).....applesauce, cherries, corn, jello cup, 100 calorie pack.  And that still wasn't enough, so I dug into the cabinet at work and ate some chips AND two pieces of leftover snack/granola caramel bar thingies.  I went to zumba and that did make me feel a bit better......came home and had not one, not two but THREE turkey hot dogs and some baked beans.   And after dinner.....why I had a root beer float! (hey, it was fat free ice cream...but not a diet root beer!)   I fed my addiction yesterday.  I tried to eat to down my sorrows.   Does it make me feel better?  It is a fleeting feeling of peace....but everything crashes right back upon me.  I know this.  Yet I continue to eat. 

I'm not going to promise greatness today with my eating.  I'm a food addict.  I'm for some reason depressed beyond reason.  that's not a good combination.  But I'm going to try.  I'm NOT ordering lunch, I have my lunch in my lunchbox.  I did have a decent breakfast (waffles and bacon) and I dont' know what I'll have for dinner.  My plan though is to know EXACTLY what I'm eating for dinner before I leave for work.  I don't want anything THINKING about dinner to occur when I'm in the kitchen.  I am not promising that it's going to be under my points target for the day.  But I am going to try to hold it together and not eat indiscriminately today.  THAT is my goal.

I can't fix my world....but maybe, just maybe if I fix my eating and my weight I'll feel a wee bit better about everything else.

Weigh in

Ok, so the first few weeks back at Weight Watchers my scales and the weight watchers scales were literally within a half pound of each other.  I was happy.  I would be able to keep a pretty close track on where I am in my weight loss.  So  last week I was tickled because my scales showed a nice loss.  I got to the weight watcher meeting and low and behold it only showed me down 2 pounds.  My home scales showed BIG...like 5 pounds. (yeah, that's a lot, but sometimes our bodies lose that way).  So i just chalked it up to "must have eaten something salty (I had eaten out for lunch that day between my home weigh in and my meeting weigh in) and rolled with it.  So my home scales were up a bit the next day so I felt ok.  Fast forward to this week......home scales showed me down 7 pounds from last weeks weight watcher weigh in.  So I felt confident that i would show SOME kind of loss.  NO NO NO.....I showed a gain of .6.   What's up with this?   My home scales are really my gauge.  I go by my weight watcher as my official loss counter...but my home scales are where I really feel and judge my results!  ARRGGGHHHH

This go round is going so much slower.  I don't know if it's becuase I'm just older or if it's becuase this is really old hat. I've been doign this for so long (even when I gained I ws still somewhat doing it).  I'm not sure.  But I dont like slow!  I want instananeous. Yeah, I know that's not the way that these things work. But I want it!

So I plug along.  I'm going to conquer this!!!   SOOOOOO  Even with my weight GAIN this week (and the big gain the last year or two)...I'm STILL 81.2 pounds down from my ultimate highest.  I need to build on THAT and not he measely 4.2 pounds I've lost since re-starting weight watchers!

Down but NOT out.

 I am still experiencing some issues with my back. Nothing debilitating, but just some lingering aches.  I was hoping to get back to zumba this week.  I had made it about a week without pain, felt wonderful.  So Sunday night I packed my gym bag with my clothes so that I could go straight after work.  Woke up on Monday morning.....PAIN.  Nothing major...more achy than anything...but not 100% up to snuff though. So I'm giving it another week.  I'm thinkign about heading to a chiropractor....this has been a month now. 

BUt the good news?   I HAVE restarted weight watchers and I'm holding it steady and I'm at the end of week two!  I'm gonna beat this weight again.  ANd this time, I am NOT going to regain!  NO WAY!

I've been here!

Well, my month of 'trying it on my own' is technically up.  How did I do?   In the first two weeks I lost 6 pounds.  And then life went crazy.  Over the fourth of July weekend I pulled my back out.  I was literally FLAT and couldn't move at first.  HORRIBLE!  I'm STILL in pain and it's two weeks later. So the last two weeks I've not exercised at all....and ate the easiest food to find and prepare as standing upright was a challenge for quite a while...and I've regained 4 of those pounds.  So I AM down.    Will I be joining weight watchers.  I've pretty much decided yes. 

The back....i'm thinking that yes, the extra weight is causing some of the problems.  the back I'm sure would have been healed by now...BUT the garden is producing heavily and that means lots of hours i the kitchen canning....canning is hard work on the best of days.  As in after a big canning session my body just aches...so to START canning and already have an ache, that's just a recipe for disaster.....so my healing has been 2 steps forward one step back.  A constant push and pull.  But I WILL get there.

The weight WILL come off too.  This back issue is the icing on the cake.  I'm not sayign that the back wouldn't have gotten hurt if I wasn't ....well....fat.  But I know that when I was at my doctor approved goal weight that I didn't suffer from as many back aches and knee aches and whatnot.

truckin' on

Took a sneak peak at the scales this morning.  Down a pound.  So i'm happy.   Slowly but surely I'm gonna get there.

I'm very proud of myself for really sticking to a proper eating plan.  I have splurged and had a handful of chocolate chips the last two nights.  But you know what?  I've had the points for them...so I feel absolutely no guilt.  I've also been doing really good with ignoring the diet soda in the evening.  I have been drinking a glass of Crystal Light Pink lemonade in the evenings...and that satisfies the sweet tooth/sweet drink craving.

I'm gonna do this.

Meanwhile, on top of the broken car window (husbands weedwacking produced more than chopped weeds) and the tire issue after I was run off the road by the redneck in the SUV....my shoulder muscle seems to be seizing up again (joy joy).   I have a wart that we 'froze' off yesterday here at work (yeah, I have a crazy job....) and my finger is not feeling to great.  haa haa haa.  And my eye is all swollen and hurts (bad enough that I don't have my contacts in today)  I'm just falling apart!    Don't we shoot animals that are in misery?   haa haa haa

Little nervous about the weekend.  Eating wise...we'll be going to Lancaster County with mom and dad (dad's preaching up there this weekend).....good food.  Eii yiii yiii

Ironic

Ironically enough, usually when I don't blog it means that I've not been on track.  This is not the case. Last week i was dead on...and lost 3.5 pounds.  This week I'm holding steady. I did go over my points one day, but I think I should still be ok.  :-)  We'll see.  :-)    Todd and I have gotten out for some walks and I did zumba last night and plan to again tonight.  So I'm workin' it.

Why haven't I been on........I feel like my life is crashing down around me.  Last friday I had a slight accident (ran off the road), yesterday Todd was weedwacking and a stone flew up and broke a back side window in his car....and on and on.  Life is just crashing around me.  These things just exacerbate the other daily struggles that I've been facing.

Last night I literally just wanted to sit and cry.  I soooooo thought about skipping zumba, but I went, held back my tears and exercised. I went home.  I still felt like crying.  I put together a breakfast casserold for today and ate my dinner.  I wanted to just shovel food into my mouth with no thought.  Food is my friend and I really needed a friend.  But I also realized that it would make me feel good for exactly 2 minutes (or however long it took me to eat it) but then life would come again, crashing around me.  I realized that not only would the same problems still be there...but I'd also have the self chastisment from binging on food I DIDN"T need.  So I stayed with my meal plan and because I did actually have the points, I splurged on a handful of chocolate chips.  Boy did I want more...but I didn't eat anything. I parked my butt on the couch and didn't budge!

This Girl and that girl

This girl feels horrible in her body.  Many times she doesn't do what she wants to do becuase she's afraid that people will laugh at the fat girl. 

That girl has a confidence that is evident

in the way that she walks, and stands and holds her head

This girl doesn't want to be in front of a camera.  The excess pounds squeeeze the happiness and joy from her life.  Everything seems a chore and she's always tired and halfway ill.

That girl poses for the camera.  She has no problem letting the world see the happiness and joy oozing from her pores. 

So what is the difference?  The pictures are all of the same person.  We could say time..."This" girl was younger and hadn't realized the important thigns in life and that "THAT" girl had?  But there is one thing that blows that theory out of the water....and that is the NOW girl. 

I'd like you to meet 'NOW' girl. 

I changed myself from "this girl"  and turned into the "That girl".  I was like a butterfly coming out of it's cacoon.  I felt wonderful.  I felt beautiful.  I felt ALIVE for the first time in years.   I swore that I would NEVER return to "THIS girl" , the overweight sad girl.  NEVER would it happen.  But I lost control.  I've regained (thank heavens not everything) but I have watched the life drain from me.  I'm once again ashamed.  I'm once again not holding my head high.  I'm once again not the happy bubbly confident person,....that person that I KNOW is still lurking inside me.   

I want "THAT" girl back. 

All was not lost

Thought I screwed up last night.  REALLY thought I screwed up.  I ate breakfast at home (waffles) so I used a fair amount of points.  I knew what was being served for dinner so I planned my lunch accordingly.  Which means I had lots of free points fruits and veggies.  However, I was trying something new in my lunch and i hated it...so I threw it away.  So that left me with JUST fruits and veggies.  No problem...all is good. I was actually satisfied after I ate.  The problem came when I was halfway through Zumba....my stomach started to complain.  I was hungry!  I made it through zumba and went home.  While dinner was being finished up, I had a string cheese and one slice of bread with a light skein of butter on it....THEN I ate dinner.  And about an hour after dinner i was still hungry so I had some baked chips.   ~~~~Slaps forehead!~~~~  So i was disappointed with my day. 

BUT this morning I went online to face the music and put in my 'additional' food and of course to take out my uneaten food from lunch (the stuff that went into the garbage).  I refused to look at my totals until it was all entered.   LOW AND BEHOLD...I WAS STILL UNDER BUDGET!  Yes, that deserved caps! 

Fast forward to today.  I packed food in my lunchbox that I KNOW that I'll like.  Because my breakfast today was a bit high.  So by the time breakfast, lunch and snacks are eaten....and I get home from Zumba, I will have only 9 points for dinner.  Not a problem, we have a delicious watermelon in the fridge...and the grapes are pretty darn tasty too.  And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are my go-to dinner when I'm home alone (which I will be) so I'll be within budget...AS LONG AS I AM NOT SO HUNGRY THAT I JUST GOBBLE FOOD LIKE A STARVING PIG!

Didn't weigh myself today (I try not to weigh after my late night dinners) ...but yesterday morning I was showing down on the scales...so I was pretty happy.  I'm gonna do this!!!  No ifs ands or buts!

As I try this month on my own. todd and I worked up a 'plan' a little motivator.  Basically at the end of the month (we started yesterday...so july 19) we will weigh ourselves and we will be rewarded monitarily for each pound we lose.  (this is a big deal to us because we have 'stipends' ...like an allowance, that we each get weekly that we use for our own personal fun stuff...so extra money is good).  BUT the competition comes into play.  The person that loses the biggest percentage gets double the money.   So we are playing this one.......so encouraging...but also competative.  We'll see how it goes.  :-)

I know that before I ate breakfast I sat down and entered my food into the tracker for today to make sure that i wasn't going over.  :-)   So food tracked for today (breakfast, lunch AND dinner) and I plan on going to zumba tonight.  My legs are a bit sore (3 hours of weeding...so squating....yikes) but I'm going to go tonight!

This is the first monday I'm not exhausted.  However, I can't get too excited....I slept for over 11 hours straight last night. 

Friday Findings

My weight dropped a bit thus far this week. Not much...but some.  I'll take it.  :-)

Why am I finding it harder this time around?   I ask myself that all the time.  I want it just as bad.  Actually probably worse this time.  Why worse?   The same original reasons are there.....BUT now I also remember how GOOD it feels.  And I'm constantly reminded about how awful fat feels!  So one woudl think that the motivation would be so much higher.  But I guess not.

This morning I Stood in my closet grabbing my clothes for the day and I looked at the bins sitting stacked neatly in the corner.  One was see through and I could see about 30 sweaters.....sweaters that I can't fit into. (I had a lot of clothes given to me....clothes that fit me way back when I considered myself successful).  And I got excited thinking about wearing them again.  I have a FULL wardrobe of clothes to wear when I lose the weight.  I'm set.  I just need to get back there!

My silence can only mean one thing.   I haven't really been on track.  The good news?  I haven't really been OFF track.I just have been steady.  I can say that I'm maintaining within 2 pounds for the last month.  The problem?   I'm maintaining this higher weight...weight that i desperately want to lose!  

I have still been attending Zumba religiously.  So I'm getting some exercise. 

The problem?  My knees are KILLING me....the arthritis is in full swing.  I'm tired and exhausted ALL the time.  I wake up and feel exhausted.  (yeah, I actually fell out of bed today because my mind was not working well...and I miscalculated reaching for the cat)   I'm HOPING that it's a combination of making less than healthy choices in my food choices AND the excess weight I'm carrying.  I sure hope so!

So I was thinking about rejoining Weight Watchers.  The program DOES work.  I lost quite a bit of weight through meetings and through the accountability.  BUT, I'm a backsliddin' lifetimer...which means that I have to pay again.  Money is tight right now.  I'm actually doing the program on my own. (I've figured out...I think...enough of the new system that they are doing via the etools...which I actually still pay for).  And I'm goign to keep at it...SOLID.....on my own.  BUT if I don't have any success by mid july...then by August I will rejoin weight watchers MEETINGS.    Hopefully the thought of spending that extra money will keep me on the straight and narrow!

cravings

The craving for chinese food was intense.  I could taste it on my tongue for DAYS.  I wanted needed chinese food.  I could smell it. I could see it (behind my closed eyes).  All I could think about was chinese food.  I pressed and yesterday we went out for Chinese for lunch.  Todd had grand plans to work outside and for me to run the chipper all day....we have ahuge brush piles that have needed to be chipped.  And of course the chipped product makes a GREAT mulch for our flower beds!  SOOOOOOOOO  of course that would be his plan for me to run that cursed chipper.  SOOO I held out and said "fill my belly with Chinese food and I will work like a mad woman for you"  Manipulative?  YES!  But guess what....that Chinese food tasted so good on it's path to my belly!    :-)   And I did give a lot of good hours in the garden working!   And then, if that wasn't enough, I picked strawberries and made a crustless strawberry pie.   I didn't make it to zumba..  This morning I got up and played tennis for an hour and then worked outside for a bit...before coming in to work. 

So cravings.....do we give in to them?  or do we work around them.  I'm a firm believer that we give in to them....because otherwise we will be miserable....and probably eat evrything else under the sun in order to avoid it.  That said...I'm STILL wanting chinese food........maybe I better hold off on chinese again soo soon!  ROFL

How does fat feel?

Moving onward to Wednesday.  Yesterday's eating was right on track!  Zumba about kicked my butt.  Oh my word the toning....one song we held a squat for the WHOLE STINKIN' SONG! while we worked out our arms, which incidentally felt like they were going to drop from my body like a lead weight....I wasn't sure what hurt worse..the legs or the arms, it went back and forth...pure torture.   I'm surprised I'm able to type this morning, because I was sure that my arms dropped off my body and fell to the ground and twitched for a while after we were done.  Seriously.    Ok, I loved it....what helps me make it through?   Mental talk.

When I'm in the middle of a particularly rough workout I have one sentence that goes through my head. And that sentence,  ~~drum roll please~~   Nothing hurts worse than fat feels.   Ohh I sometimes change it a bit to be a bit more personalized to the moment..but the same concept.  Fat hurts sooo much.  Fat physically hurts, it make my knees ache, it causes me to have stomach problems it makes me sluggish and just miserable.  But fat also hurts emotionally.  I lack self confidence....I realized this on Sunday (more on that in the next paragraph).   That hurts.   The pain of a workout is TEMPORARY.  ohhh after the squat song was done and my body had a few minutes rest, I was fine.  After I picked up my arms off the floor and reattached them, I was peachy fine.  I knew I would be....so I kept saying "NOTHING HURTS WORSE THAN FAT FEELS.....this is only temporary, fat is forever"  I pushed through it.

Sunday I figured out I really lack self confidence because of my weight.  I had my camera at a concert.  I actually DID get some really awesome pictures (zoom lens is an awesome thing). But there were a few people that were up and moving around and taking pictures from all over the theater. (unobtrusively..but I noticed because...well....because I like photography).  I knew that I could have gotten my arse out of the seat and moved forward to take a pic or two.  But I didn't...and looking closely at my motivation, or lack there of I realize that it was because I feel fat and I feel like everyone is going to look at me and say "what's that fat chick up there doing".   I let my weight dictate something that I dearly love to do.  No more!

Fat feels horrible.

Fat is hurting me.  

Fat is no longer welcome here.

Fat, your days on my body are numbered, so live it up now......you WILL be gone.

Week 2

Bobbled a little bit over the weekend with my eating.  Not too horribly bad.  But a little bobble.  (we were in Lancaster County PA for a concert and a visit with friends).  It's all good.    On Sunday morning I was showing a loss of 1.2 for last week!  WOO HOO.  (this morning I weighed myself after I had breakfast and I was down another 4/10ths of a pound so I'm happy!)

Planning really is the key to my success though.  Yesterday I had my day planned out.  I was HUNGRY when I was heading home after zumba...but I was still on plan.  I got home and went to fix dinner.  My husband was like "lets eat on our own tonight, I've got leftovers and all sorts of stuff to eat that's gonna go bad if I dont' eat it"  That's ok, responsible even.  BUT, that left me planless.  While we talked I had some special K chips (they are actually pretty good).  THEN I had a grilled cheese, some sweet pickles, potato salad, tortilla chips with salsa.  And if that wasn't enough, I had a piece of Cheesecake (it was made with low fat/fat free cheeses and creams, does that count for anything) with some of my home canned raspberry syrup over it.   Yeah, can we say 'fall off plan"   My only consolation...I had eaten soooooo lightly the rest of the day that I somehow managed to not go over my points....yeah, I had eaten mostly fruits and veggies earlier in the day so I was actually ok. 

So I'm all planned out for tonight.  :-)   Another really light day of eating (the fridge is FULL of fresh fruits and veggies....so I'm eating them all up)...and dinner is planned out.  :-)

Makes me want to ponder what other areas I could 'PLAN" and then succeed at!!!

Faith and belief

FRIDAY!  WOOO HOOO

Faith and belief.  No, this is not a religious post.  But faith is HUGE HUGE HUGE in this weight loss journey.  We have to BELIEVE and have FAITH that we can and WILL do this. If our minds do not believe, if our expectations are so low that it's not a big thing TO fail.

A few years ago a school did an experiment. This is when the schools were still categorizing kids by their ability.  One teacher had the low kids and one teacher had the high level kids.  Predictably the high level kids scored so much better on the tests.  The low kids struggled.  So they did an experiment.  One year they told the teacher of the higher level kids that this year she was going to be teaching the lower level and vice versus for the other teacher.  In reality though the the 'low level' class was the brightest and smartest children.  The teacher that thought she was teaching the brightest students was in fact teaching the lowest level.    The test results at the end of the year surprised EVERYONE.

The teacher that was teaching the lowest level of students but THOUGHT she was teaching the smart kids had a class that outperformed the other class  . 

So what do you get out of this story.  The teachers TAUGHT to their beliefs.  The one teacher thought that she had the 'dumb' kids so she didn't put her all into it because her expectations and and beliefs and faith in the students abilities were either so low or non existent that she felt it was not worth the effort...I mean, why bother, it's a lost cause..  The teacher that thought she had the brilliant kids her faith and belief in their ability was so high that she threw herself into her teaching, knowing that she couldn't fail.

Isn't weight loss like that?  If we expect to fail are we really going to throw our all into it?  Are we really going to TRY?   However if we have faith in ourselves, if we  dare to believe.......well then the sky is the limit for our success!

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Day 4 passed by with great success!  :-) I didn't exercise yesterday....but I DID eat right. :-)


On to day 5!   Started out rather odd...I forgot half the ingredients in my smoothie (agave nectar is really important  LOL)  It doesn't taste good and yummy...so I'm not eating it.  Why eat something that doesn't taste good.  I will eat my lunch earlier because of that...but that's not a problem. :-)   And YES, I packed my lunch, even though my co-workers will be ordering lunch in!   I'm holding strong!