Slowly dwindling supply

I've had a few punches in my progress the last 12 hours or so......lets just call them whammys!

The first Whammy.....(and I apologize...number one may be a bit long). It's a whammy to my heart...but also a reminder to myself...an important lesson!

Sometimes we don't realize the impact that we have on others.  In a way it is mind boggling!  I was just reminded of this in a very real way within the last 24 hours....  Let me start at the beginning...about 30 years ago...junior high and high school.   I was friendly to all and counted most people in the school as 'friends....more acquaintance friends'.  I had some that I was a little closer with.....One of those was Jennifer.   We spent every lunch together sitting on a bench on the quad.   We rode the bus together.  We had multiple classes together.  She was quiet, smart and really sweet.   She had the deepest southern accent.  We got along great.  I moved away right around graduation...and we have not seen each other since then.  However we have faithfully kept in touch via Letters, Christmas cards (even during crazy college years when I almost no one got Christmas cards from me, I would go to hallmark and buy a special one for her) and once social media hit through Facebook and other such mediums. In recent years sadly it was only random 'likes' and comments on Facebook and the yearly Christmas card.  Last night when my cell phone rang with an unknown number I almost didn't answer it.  Telemarketer or some such none sense I was sure.   But the Dade City, Florida displayed on my phone made me curious...because well I lived in Brooksville which is right near there...and of course Jennifer lives in Dade City.   I answered it expecting to shortly thereafter hang up on a sales call. (Yes I need to get myself back on the do not call list...I must have fallen off that lost!).    The voice on the other end took me right back to the years I lived in Florida.  Deep southern accent ....it was Missy...Jennifer's sister (incidentally missy was just a year or two older so I knew her too).   She was calling to tell me that Jennifer had passed away that morning.  I was in shock.  I talked to missy for a while and found out what happened (she had cancer and had requested that it be kept as private as possible and since I'm 20 hours or so away by car I never knew).    

So a whammy to lose my friend....but also a huge reminder to myself that my actions and behaviors really affect people!!!   Here is someone that was shy and quiet ...I extended my friendship to her and 26 years after the last time we saw each other in person....and after years of not really having real contact I am on the call list that she left to notify about her death.  (can we count the FB likes and the Christmas cards as real contact...I'm going to say no!). I don't even recall sharing my cellphone number with her!!!  I either forgot or they had to search to get my number!  It tells me that my friendship had a larger impact upon her life than I may have realized.

I feel guilty....I could have been such a better friend in recent years!  The Internet opens up the world that makes it easier to stay in touch.    When I was in Florida a few years back (2014) I had thought about flying down a day earlier and visiting Jennifer but logistically and financially it would have been difficult.   But I SHOULD have!!! 

  How simple an act of kindness...the extension of friendship really is...but very far reaching in the hearts and lives of those on the receiving end!!!  

Whammy two came while I was on the phone with Missy.  I asked what type of cancer.   Colo-rectal....already spread to the liver at the time of diagnosis.   My heart stopped.   That is exactly what my father is fighting!  I heard the story of Jennifer's fight and while it started with the same diagnosis it sounds like she gave up and stopped fighting.  I'm going to cling to that and to the power of prayer when it comes to my father!!! (Dad is currently receiving radiation in Baltimore...which they indicate will be the last step before surgery....he is concerned about his cat that is home alone....with me and my cats!!!!  I sent him this picture last night.....and yes, shadow is definitely missing his daddy!!!  Just like Ethel is really missing her granddaddy!!)

Dad seems to be handling the radiation with flying colors....just like he did the first rounds of chemo!  We continue to pray!!

Whammy three?  Just the normal monthly ick.

Whammy four????   I woke up with draining sinus ick causing a sore throat and a sinus pressure headache!

You know your day isn't going to go well when you make a stop at the pharmacy and your purchases look like this...

Yes I made a few more purchases while I was there...

In fairness the sweet tarts were buy one get one for 25 cents.  And they are kind of a memory from high school (that's when I used to get them) so it seemed fitting!!

Ohhh and while Jennifer's death is just reminding me to take care of myself to try to be as healthy as possible so that I CAN live far into the future in a healthy manner.....today is just a day that I needed more...

I'm not falling off the rails...but for today I'm going to mourn the loss of my friend,  lament about my failure as a friend, worry about my dad, cough and sniffle through this sinus gunk, and just ride out the monthly ick and its corresponding emotions with a slowly dwindling pile of candy on my work desk!!!!

Mud bogging

Well here we are, the weekend is rolling to a close.  Again.    Seriously, this really needs to stop happening!  At least I can say that I had a wonderful weekend!  How could it NOT be fabulous....I got to see friends....I got to spend a lot of time with Jason...and I got some hiking in!!!    Lets start with the friends........(not that Jason isn't a friend...but he's a bit more than a friend ha ha ha)

On Saturday morning I had the opportunity to meet up with some friends (gals that I used to work with).  I've got 19-20 years on these girls but we had a wonderful time!    We laughed.  We covered some important topics of conversation (Someone needs to give these girls some advice!!!  ha ha ha), we had breakfast together  and we hit up some stores and did a bit of shopping!   It was just what the doctor ordered and it's amazing how things like this works.  The one gal showed up and we could see that she was just not herself.   By the end of the first hour we could see that the conversation and girl talk had helped her. That's what friends are for! We did shop a little so I got some walking in at the mall....not enough to really count though, even though I'm really tempted to do so!!!!  See, if I do that, I could possibly say that I counter acted the Cinnamon Supreme Sweet and Stuffed Pancakes.  Seriously, I am embarrassed to say that I ordered those things!   They were tasty...but all sweet and totally NOT healthy!   I'm not even going to write down the calorie count....isn't it enough that I put the link in there??  ha ha ha.    The only good thing?  I was soooo full and just not at all hungry the rest of the day that I ate some cheese, some strawberries and a hard pretzel in the evening and I was not hungry the rest of the day.  And yes...I heeded the voices that my body was saying...and that was 'For heavens sake, please don't eat!'

Yeah yeah yeah....it is obvious in the picture, I was drinking diet soda.....I know, it SHOULD have been water!!!!

Jason and I got to spend a fair amount of time together this weekend.  Lots of time relaxing together in nice warm and relaxing places where we could have long conversations.  But we were also able to get two hikes in.

The first hike was at the Martins Mill Bridge and around the park.  We stayed off the hilly trails and walked the road from the bridge down to the actual park area and circled that snow covered area and then went back to the bridge.  We did that loop a few times until the wind knocked us for a loop and we were too cold to continue.  (ok, until we decided to retreat to the car and the warmth.....I"m sure we could have continued if we had wanted to...but 2.56 miles isn't bad!  It wasn't a bad walk...there were areas that were a bit snow but nothing too intense.




We also decided to hike at Balls Bluff Battlefield/Regional park.     Last weekend was the event of the Snow hike...this weekend we had another snow hike but I think I will refer to it as Mud Bogging instead!   The trails there were a LOT more intense.  Yes, there was a lot more ascents and decents on the trail.  But it was the snow that made those up hill intense....snow is slippery...and going up and down a trail on slippery snow is interesting to say the least. (especially the parts of the trail that were on the edge of a drop off!)  The snow was actually NOT the worst part.  The worst part....when we were NOT climbing up or descending a hill, we were walking on the flat riverbank.  That sounds peaceful and serene doesn't it?   Yeah....not when that said river was at flood stage a few days ago.    Walking through a couple inches of mud is.....interesting, fun and DIFFICULT!  Totally different muscles than normal hiking and different muscles than snow hills.   It was  a GREAT workout!     I didn't get any pictures from the trail...but I did get a few pictures of the National Cemetery that is housed in this park and the sight of a Civil War Battle.  This is one of the smallest National Cemeteries in the United States.  It has 25 graves and there are 54 men buried here, all of them unknown but one.  Sobering to think that 53 families (so many more in the Civil war overall I know)  lost sons who were buried with an unknown gravemarker.  All in all.....3.68 miles at Balls Bluff Park!

So a good weekend with some activity

So....it's 7:30.  I'm home.  Showered up (I wasn't exactly cold but I wasn't exactly warm....and I wasn't exactly muddy but I wasn't exactly clean!) and sitting here watching tv.  Nope....not watching the Super Bowl...does that make me un-American?????

Cracker Debacle

Yesterday I got home.  My food was planned out and I knew what I was doing.  I made my dinner which was grilled cheese and tomato soup.  I didn't have the calories planned in for crackers in my soup...and I've eaten it without crackers so it didn't bother me.  However, I sat down at the table and I couldn't stop myself.  I WANTED crackers in my soup.  I ate them....not just one or two...I ate probably 20-25 crackers.  (yeah, I like a LOT of crackers in my tomato soup...I eat the crackers out and then put more in......sad isn't it?)  I then made a fruit dip and prepped some fruit and even though I was full and kicking myself for  my cracker debacle I ate about 2tbs of the dip and a few strawberries.  And yes...that was my binge/splurge....crackers, fruit dip and fruit.  I knocked about 200 extra calories for my day.  I was beating myself up over this and immediately sent an email to my friend Sherry  (I had to email her a link anyway...and check up on her progress) who talked me down from the ledge  and made me see that 1. I probably needed those extra calories (I had exercised so I was still under my calorie goal for the day) and 2.  Even if I didn't need them that my splurge was laughable in reality...looking at what my splurges USED to be.  Thank you Sherry!!!!  In talking to her we discussed her day and her urges and desires too.  We both talked about how this is a journey that we are on..but it is also a thing of us learning how to deal with life pressures and the normal ebb and flow of our cycles (which DOES affect our hunger)...just life.  This journey is NOT a race to the finish line...this journey is about learning how to eat and be healthy within the restrictions of life!

Today is a potluck at work...it's a birthday celebration.  We are celebrating my managers birthday...my manager is also working on her weight. SO I was able to steer everyone  to bring to  more healthy flair.   One gal is bringing some Asian Turkey Lettuce wraps. (it is a recipe from the cooking light magazine...she's brought them before....one is roughly 140 calories).  I have one girl bringing a veggie tray.  I'm bringing  fruit tray (thus the fruit dip and fruit).  I don't know what the other gal is bringing...she's one that is actually trying to GAIN weight...so who knows.  I've got this potluck by the horns and I'm going to ROCK my eating today!  Why yes, that is grapes, apples, pineapple and strawberries with the fruit dip in the center.  The fruit dip is only 18 calories per tbs. LOVE it!




Took a sneak peak on the scales this morning...I'm down but not as much as I thought...but no worries...I've got until Monday before my official weigh in!  Plus, I woke up incredibly thirsty...and that usually doesn't mean good things on the scales for me.  Water.....soooo important to our existence!!!!!


I have to say that I'm very happy that today is my rest day.  I need the rest....we all do in our journeys.  I was thinking about my week of exercise and thinking..wow..I did so much.  Then it hit me....I always do 3-4 zumba sessions...and have been for three years.   I've been consistently doing the running thing for the last four weeks too.  I only added in two 30 minute sessions on the elliptical.  Crazy.   Am I nuts????  And even though I'm glad for the rest day....part of me is itching to do something...anything!!!!!!   Nope...nothing taxing for me today!  :-)

I'll leave with a photo of the prettiest cat.  Lucy is getting old.  Makes me sad to think about losing my cat.  She is 16 and is suffering from arthritis.  But I LOVE her attitude.  She is too proud to let it stop her.  She refuses to use the steps I put for her to get onto bed.  The sad part..she jumps down and you can her her thump when she hits...she used to be graceful and light as a feather.  BUT her attitude is great.  She enjoys being the matriarch of the cats and takes her duties seriously!