Getting back to Normal

 What a week. My word for last week was Hang On. I did just that.  I held on for dear life and tried to not let go.   

  I never expected to be burying my mom last week.  Yet we did. As a family we had some laughs and some tears.  I had handled my dad's death so well that I thought I would breeze through mom's death.  But no, this has hit me hard.  The best way to put it is that there is just this overwhelming sense of loneliness. I think when dad died I knew I still had one parent there and it gave me comfort.  But now.....there is nothing and just a hole in my heart.  I know...it will get easier.  

  Hanging on is exactly what I did.  Oh, I wanted to eat horribly, but I kept my eating in line most days.  The final day was the toughest of all.   I have taken on a project where I am taking a pile of papers that include my mothers recipes and I am digitizing them.   What I am doing is typing the recipes onto the computer.  I am then scanning/taking a picture of the recipe that mom wrote (some with stains and hard to read) and I am placing that on the page with the recipe.  So we have a nice version to recreate some of mom's baked goods but also so that we have a picture of her actual recipe.   IN this way, we can have things organized neatly and not taking up scads of space.     The problem with this project?  It makes me want to bake!  Many of the recipes that she made are already in my personal recipe file...but that doesn't matter...it makes me want to bake!  I resisted the temptation....UNTIL I upgraded my Kitchen Aid mixer.  I had a tilt top.......I have taken one of mom's kitchen aids.  So I had a 'new to me" toy to play with. (once again, it was mom's I've used all of her mixers many times...but it was new to me and in my house).   So I caved and made cookies yesterday morning.  I did take half of them to my in-laws to share with them!  (got them out of my house!)   Even so, my calories for yesterday was still until 2,000.  (right at about 1700 so I"m good with that).

My word of the week for this week is ROUTINE.  I need to get back into my routine.  I need that routine in place in order to have success!    I fell back into the routine this morning and I"m counting on that old routine to carry me through this first week back.

2024 miles in 2024.  I was so happy a week and a half ago because I was ahead in my miles for the year.    I knew that being ahead was important for a 'rainy day'.   Well, last week was rainy.  I didn't do much riding on the bike (I did get one or two days in) and while some of the days my step count was great, others my step count was in the garbage!   I did not meet my weekly goal....no where close!    Luckily I had those banked extra miles.  They saved me from not getting behind for the year.  I literally have about 1/2 of a mile extra now!  There is no wiggle room!  I have to get to moving and start banking miles again!

It wasn't an easy week....but I think I can say it was a successful week, all things considering!  

Last day of April Update

Well. I went out and started my painting. I got the back of the hosue done. I moved to the side of hte house and did that. I moved to the front of the house. WOWZERS, was I on fire. I was plannign my day and I was excited because I just knew that I would be able to get the first coat totally done and maybe even work on the second coat (the back was almost done it's second coat to begin with...) So I was just rolling. UNTIL it started to spit rain. Now, there are lots of things a person can do even if it's spitting rain every once in a while. BUT painting..not happening in the rain. Heck, not evening happening if it threatens to rain. So I packed it all up. I got it all put away and looked back outside. The sun was shining brightly. I tried to do the painting thing again. I started to sprinkle again! What's up with that???? Well, it wasn't worth me worrying about the rain all day...so I packed it up and moved inside. I instead spent the day in the kitchen baking and cooking to my hearts content. I also cleaned the house really good. ( did paint for 2-3 hours in the morning...so all was not lost).

Totally bums me out that I couldn't paint all day. It would have felt so dang good to get a huge chunk of the painting done! ooH WELL, at least I got some painting done!

I started out soooo strong with the baking. I had gum in my mouth...I didn't taste anything. But the problem...I've never been able to chew gum for extended periods of time. My jaw starts to hurt and actually I start to almost gag. So I chewed as long as I could...and then ditched the gum. When I ditched the gum....well, I welcomed a bit of food. I did better than I've done in the past if that is any consolation!

I actually started to go and exercise....on the exercise bike. However, after being on my feet and working all day,I'm tired. I"m not used to being on my feet all day. My shoulder blades were tense adn a bit sore after my painting this m orning....and my afternoon of baking and cleaning just made it worse......so I stood there looking at the exercise bike and just couldn't make myself do it. I'm determined though that tomorrow I"ll be on taht bike and riding like a demon!

Speaking of bikes....I need to get my bike from the studio apartment where it isstill stoerd and get it over her so I can ride. I used to ride my bike tot he deli. I want to start riding my bike to the bank. I can take my clothes in my backpack and change when I get there. It will work for me. It will be good exercise.....and will be better for the environment. NOT to mention the saved gas. Yeah, I know that it will only save me 5 miels of mileage today. But that's 5 miles. If I do it once a week for ...oh heck,I"m not even remotely in the mood to try to figure out how much I"d be saving.

WOAH doggie......it's the last day of April. Where has this month gone. Where has this year gone thus far! May already eii yii yiii

I'm still struggling a bit with feeling blue. I'll admit that this week is my more 'emotional' week of the month...so I'm sure that has something to do with it. All I have to say.......I want it to pass! It just seems as if a lot of stuff is happening during this more 'emotional' week.

Baking day!

Well, I've been doing pretty good. I haven't been able to stay off the scales. And I'm appalled when I have an up day...but equally happy when I have a down day. (Today is an up day......yesterday was a down day) I'm interested to see if it is DIRECT correlation to my workout days. Hmmmmm....I'm not talking about a pound here. I'm talking about 5 pounds difference!

My dearest husband volunteered me to bring dessert to a party we are going to tonight. THANKS (note the sarcasm). As if being there and seeing it isn't tempting enough.....BAKING it is worse! I made brownies and cookies. I had a 1 inch square of brownie and two soft sugar cookies. I never realized how many cookies I probably popped in my mouth when I was baking! I was really fighting the urge! I'm ok with the amount that I had though. I'm not in this to deprive myself of ever having the fun stuff! I mean, yes, I wish I wouldn't have succumbed to the temptation. But I'm happy with the control I ultimately displayed over the situation. (Course the stuff is still in the house....lol)

My arms are still really sore from working on on Wednesday and then again on Friday. It's a good sore though...because it means I'm doing something good. On the other hand, my foot is really giving me problems. I was wondering how long it would take the 'old bone' to kick into action. Well, it happened. Yesterday I decided to move the furniture around in the house. I started at around 8 AM and worked until we left the house (about noon). We ran errends all day and worked out at the gym and got home at about 8. I picked right back up and worked at the house non-stop until about 11PM. Round about 9 or 10 it started. The foot pounded and ached. ARRGGHHH.....but hey, I've lived with this since I was in elementary school. I can tough it out. It can only get better the less weight it has to support! :-) My only concession is that I may try to do some cardio that is not so high impact. I've been doing a lot of treadmill....I may switch to the bike or elliptical for a time being!