Getting back to Normal

 What a week. My word for last week was Hang On. I did just that.  I held on for dear life and tried to not let go.   

  I never expected to be burying my mom last week.  Yet we did. As a family we had some laughs and some tears.  I had handled my dad's death so well that I thought I would breeze through mom's death.  But no, this has hit me hard.  The best way to put it is that there is just this overwhelming sense of loneliness. I think when dad died I knew I still had one parent there and it gave me comfort.  But now.....there is nothing and just a hole in my heart.  I know...it will get easier.  

  Hanging on is exactly what I did.  Oh, I wanted to eat horribly, but I kept my eating in line most days.  The final day was the toughest of all.   I have taken on a project where I am taking a pile of papers that include my mothers recipes and I am digitizing them.   What I am doing is typing the recipes onto the computer.  I am then scanning/taking a picture of the recipe that mom wrote (some with stains and hard to read) and I am placing that on the page with the recipe.  So we have a nice version to recreate some of mom's baked goods but also so that we have a picture of her actual recipe.   IN this way, we can have things organized neatly and not taking up scads of space.     The problem with this project?  It makes me want to bake!  Many of the recipes that she made are already in my personal recipe file...but that doesn't matter...it makes me want to bake!  I resisted the temptation....UNTIL I upgraded my Kitchen Aid mixer.  I had a tilt top.......I have taken one of mom's kitchen aids.  So I had a 'new to me" toy to play with. (once again, it was mom's I've used all of her mixers many times...but it was new to me and in my house).   So I caved and made cookies yesterday morning.  I did take half of them to my in-laws to share with them!  (got them out of my house!)   Even so, my calories for yesterday was still until 2,000.  (right at about 1700 so I"m good with that).

My word of the week for this week is ROUTINE.  I need to get back into my routine.  I need that routine in place in order to have success!    I fell back into the routine this morning and I"m counting on that old routine to carry me through this first week back.

2024 miles in 2024.  I was so happy a week and a half ago because I was ahead in my miles for the year.    I knew that being ahead was important for a 'rainy day'.   Well, last week was rainy.  I didn't do much riding on the bike (I did get one or two days in) and while some of the days my step count was great, others my step count was in the garbage!   I did not meet my weekly goal....no where close!    Luckily I had those banked extra miles.  They saved me from not getting behind for the year.  I literally have about 1/2 of a mile extra now!  There is no wiggle room!  I have to get to moving and start banking miles again!

It wasn't an easy week....but I think I can say it was a successful week, all things considering!  

The Close of a Year and the start of a new one

​I for one am ready to say good riddance to 2023.  It’s been a crazy year….and full of stress and angst.  I can honestly say that the year has flown by though!  For this post, I’m not going to focus on the bad, the depression, the hardships and stress.  This is all about the positive, the good and the hopes for the future!

2023 in a nutshell

We started the year with Jason still healing from his run in with the axe.  I enjoyed having him in the house while I worked.  It was nice to have someone to chit chat with on my breaks/lunches.   It was also fantastic to have him home after work versus having to wait 2.5 hours after I get off work for him to get home.    However, when he went back to work it was a sigh of relief to have the return of his income after 6 months of being off work!

In January we got a dog.   Jason had told me from the very beginning of our relationship that he wanted to someday get another Newfoundland. 2023 was the year.  She was so cute and was 30 pounds when we got her!

She takes a LOT of time…lots of walks outside and lots of play time.  And she grew….she is now about 100 pounds and still growing.

We were able to get in some hiking, but not too much due to Jason’s injury and having a young dog.  (Recommendation is to not exercise Newfies too long or too hard in the first year of their life due to growth plates and joint development).    But we still got in some hiking.

We powered through the summer with push mowing our property again and we planted a small garden (bigger one coming in 2024).  And we finally got our barn painted!

It wasn’t a year full of crazy fun things…but we were busy!

Looking into 2024

I am looking forward to 2024.  I have not totally adopted the ‘I’ll start in 2024’ mentality.   I have started to watch my eating and been working to get back into the habit of tracking my food.  I have not recommenced with any exercise plan.  I was set to start and hurt my foot.  I limped around for a good week or so.  It still gives me twinges of pain but it is much better and if I watch what I do (low impact) I should be ok to start soon!

I have a slew of medical tests set for January.   I’m nervous about the results.  But am heading into them confident that all will work out.  One step toward taking care of me!

I’m not setting any fabulous goals and resolutions for 2024.  But I do have some plans and dreams for 2024.   Of course…get healthy is the biggest plan for the year.   I know what I would LIKE to lose in 2024. I know where I would like to be at the end of the year.  But I am not setting goals to be there.  I’m just saying that I am going to work to make 2024 my year to move toward those goals!  

So yes, exercise, tracking my food, exercise,  drinking my water…all of those healthy habits will be on the agenda for 2024.

The ONLY serious goal that I am setting for myself is to complete the goal of propelling myself 2024 miles in the year 2024.  I have done this in previous years and it really pushes me!  I don’t like to fall behind in my mileage!  One year I was done with my miles by September!  I have also challenged Jason to a mileage challenge.   We haven’t pounded out the reward yet…but a good friendly competition is always motivating for me.   (Hopefully he steps up to my challenge).     The goal of 2024 miles (bike, walk, run, swim, row…any miles count) is a good one for me…it keeps me focused and active!

I don’t know what 2024 will bring.  I don’t expect the depressive cloud to disappear overnight. But I am determined to focus on making me the healthiest and happiest version possible in 2024!