Just do it!

I've been doing fairly well with my exercise.  Last week one day (Wednesday) I went running and had an abysmal run.  I'll admit I was freaking out a bit in my mind, wondering if my lackadaisical   approach to running had set me back to the beginning of my training.  Yes, I was worried because that wouldn't   be good....not the end of the world but not good.  On Saturday I went out running. Or rather I tried to go out running.   It started to downright pour rain when I was heading out.  The MaryFran of late would have thrown in the towel and skipped the run.  Not on Saturday!  I hit the gym!   I ran for 65 minutes on the treadmill.  Ok ok ok, I would run 10 and then walk 2.5 minutes...then run another ten minutes.  I also did some ab work (ouch...I can still feel it!)

So Monday rolled around.  It was a bank holiday so I was off work and I had plans to go to Lancaster. Pa with my parents and my brother and his family.  I actually woke up super early to get what I had to so done....and allow myself time to go out running.  Yes, I ran!   And I did fantastic.  I ran at a comfortable pace and my pace was one of my fastest runs since this foot problem started.  Amazing how just a little consistency results in improvement.

So yeah, let's talk about Lancaster county, Pa....land of smorgasbords (buffets) and delicious desserts.  Ok, let's not!   No seriously.  I didn't do too badly. I did have a piece of shoe fly pie (my favorite and utterly delicious pie....I don't make it, I could but I don't...it is a treat I give myself when we go to Lancaster....which is usually at the most 4 times a year...give or take). I did eat off one smorgasbord.   I ate a plate of food (heavy on veggies as I don't much like meat...although shockingly i did eat a bit of ham...first time in years) a salad...and that piece of shoe fly pie.  For dinner we stopped on the way home at a Chili's.   I had a buffalo chicken salad (the chicken was breaded and fried....I won't pretend that the chicken was prepared in a health obvious manner) and at dinner I munched on some tortilla chips.   So not exactly healthy.  But the true victory is that I never ate yesterday to the point of feeling sick. I was full but never so stuffed I was sick!

Backing up to my Monday morning run...some of my deepest thoughts hit me while I am running.  I was thinking about my friend Paula (hi Paula!!). Who hooked up with me for my abysmal run and also the gym run.  I told her about those still very tentative thoughts that I have on running a half marathon (we won't even mention the full...although that thought is there too...just a lot quieter at this time).  Paula immediately looked at me and said 'I'm in!'  She also found a picture of the teeshirt that I want to get when I complete it and actually earn it!

During this talk we had mentioned one friend that is always saying she is joining us, but to the best of our knowledge has yet to run 5 feet.  There are always excuses.  So on Monday morning this conversation was floating in my head as a remembrance and one phrase kept coming to my mind.  'Just do it'.  Stop talking about it.   Stop planning to do it.  Stop making promises that you are not going to keep.  Just do it!!   I understood the words behind the phrase for all these years, but I didn't really grasp the depth of that phrase and what it means to, well...life.  Just do it!  I was a naysayer for years who always talked about doing it.  I was a planner for years 'tomorrow I'm going to start running' or 'as soon as I get myself some running shoes...or a workout outfit or whatever'. I'll be out there.  Excuses!!!   Just do it!  Stop talking about how much you want to do it...stop talking about your plans describing how you are going to or how much you want it. Just do it!!!!    Exercise, fitness and weight loss is divided into two groups of people.  People that live that phrase....or people that live in fear of that phrase.    I want to and have once again started to live that phrase.  Just do it!!!

Moving right along

Yesterday morning I was showing a maintain on my weight.  Life was grand.  Then Lancaster county PA happened.  About two months ago I navigated a day in Lancaster just fine.  Yesterday I folded.  I was more than a thousand calories over.  I still kept a reign on it..slightly.  (It was the desserts at the buffet that got me...I did good at the buffet...I didn't  go crazy  on bread, didn't have any in fact....but had two desserts off the bar..  )It would have been not as bad had I gotten up and ran before we went, like I had planned.    However when the alarm went off I was still just so sluggish and stiff from Mondays work.  Oh we'll.  One day will not be the death of me.  The most important thing is that yesterday's eating and behavior does not occur anytime soon.   I'm not trying to live in a perfect world.  There will be days like that.  It's ok, as long as they are few and far between!

In other news....I got a new hat to get all sweaty during my runs!!!

Failure

Failure.   I feel like I'm failing.  Within the last few weeks (maybe months) I have been so gung ho about my exercise routine.  I've been planning and plotting.  The list of things that I've committed to and planned for include:
* Complete the C25K running training (completed)
* Commit to running through at least August 9th to see how my body progresses....to really give running (jogging) a fair shot . (which includes a 5k run in mid May and a 5k run on August 9th)
*  Continue with Zumba 3 times a week (more if I can make it to the gym)
*  Walk with Sherry 2-3 times a week.
*  Ride in Pedal to Preserve in early June (the 20 mile ride) This requires me to ride in preparation.
*  Ride the full length of the canal in September (184 miles)  Obviously this requires me to build up my endurance for 3 consecutive days of riding an average of 60 miles
* Complete the 30 Day shred...thirty days straight during the month of April
* Get to the gym

I committed.  I've been totally determined to see success and finish these things and knock them off my bucket list and/or feel a huge sense of accomplishment in myself.    The problem is that I work full time.  I do 99.9% of the housework (dishes, cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc) around the house.  Logistically it's possible.  Seriously..Yes, I can get up and three mornings a week I can ride my bike.  Three mornings a week I can run.   Three-four nights a week I can go to zumba and the other two nights I can walk with Sherry and I can round out the walking series with our normal Sunday morning walk.  And since I'm getting up early to bike ride and run....I may as well tack on the extra 20 minutes early in the morning for the 30 day shred.  I mean, why as heck not!    My life is pretty well.....crappy...so it could work.  It gives me a purpose.  Does it matter that I'm waking up at 6AM...and not getting home until after 8PM.....and then trying to rush around and do the housewifely things????

Seriously, is this healthy for me?  Will my body even hold up to this?    Is it feasible.  All day Friday Todd and I were out and about in Lancaster, PA and I pondered this.  It was forefront in my mind because my arthritic knees were really bothering me.  I was torn.  I don't want to quit.  I don't want to fail.  I've spent half of my adult life running from things and thereby failing.  I've spent so much time being a failure.  I don't want to be a failure anymore.   I thought about it all day and decided that I would just push through.  Who cares...push myself.  SO my knees hurt...I can do it.  No pain no gain right?

And then.......two things happened that threw me over the edge in the opposite direction (toward failure).

The first thing was a talk with my husband.  He made it clear today that he doesn't want to ride much this summer.  Even though this was the year that we agreed that we were going to bike the whole canal..... Even though he has been talking about how much he wants to ride in Pedal to Preserve.......
he has made it clear that it was the garden or the bike....and he wanted the garden.  I personally think we can do both....but well............I've been overruled so my plans will be shelved.

The second thing was the onset of the garden season.  Spring planting started today.   We normally have our spring plants in by now...but it's been super cold and the ground was super wet.  So we planted everything indoors and just today we spent hours outside working int he garden and getting everything planted into the garden. (OK, not everything...we still have a few things to put in)   Every year when garden and yard work season comes up I am totally blown away by how much time it takes.  (Yes, we have a HUGE HUGE garden....and then it will be canning and preserving the harvest).  Today we worked for about 5 hours outside.  My job today?  I turned the soil to loosen it for the tiller.  We had gotten a load of dried manure (it pays to be friends with farmers) so I shoveled the manure into the wheelbarrow and carted it to the upturned soil.  I then emptied out the compost bins and carted that to the upturned soil. Wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow.  Todd then came through it with the tiller while I worked on the next row.  Hours of shoveling.   When we got  row tilled, raked and set up (we had to put up fencing for what was going in) we planted the seedlings that we started indoors.  I didn't want to pull out the hose yet for this year.....so I filled  5 gallon bucket of water and carted that around...refilling numerous times....so that I could plant the seedlings. 

I didn't get to any kind of formal exercise today.  I failed on the 30 Day Shred.  Yet, I worked my body harder and longer than had I completed the 30 day shred. Most likely tomorrow I'll be out in the yard again....finishing the prepping and planting of the spring garden.....working on prepping and working in the yard.  WORKING HARD.

I'm failing......but realistically I have to say that I can't do it all.    I am going to have to say that I can't do it all....I'm going to fail.  And it bothers me.....it bothers me greatly.   The 30 day shred is going to have to go.   I'm going to attempt it when the winter rolls back around and when I'm stuck indoors.  When I'm not overwhelmed with all the yard and garden  that crops up when you have a huge garden. The bike riding....well, I still want to ride my bike and it is still my plan to get a road bike and ride.  However, like my running, that will be on my own and I will not be training to ride in Pedal to Preserve nor will I be pushing to ride the canal on three consecutive days this year.

I will however, be sticking with my commitment to run 3 times a week.  I've made it this far...if I stop now when I go to restart running I will have to start at the beginning....and I do not want to do that.  I am going to put this desire to rest one way or another.     This is my time to run.

Zumba is not going anywhere.  I need that for the exercise and for the social aspect of it.  It is my outlet...my stress relief. 

My walks with Sherry are not in question.  How many a week, well that has always been a thing of scheduling...but my walks are not in question.  Sherry and I need our girl talk time.

I will fill in my mornings/days where I am not working in the garden with either a workout DVD (I was doing a step aerobic DVD in March and was diggin' it) or a trip to the gym.   

I'm not quiting exercise...I"m quitting the insane schedule and commitment that I had laid out for myself.  I'm not failing........I am evaluating where I'm at and I'm succeeding in recognizing the need that it's not working for me and being willing to face that fear of failure and readjust my plans and goals.

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On to different news.  Yesterday Todd and I were in Lancaster.  I kept samples at the food places to a minimum.  I drank water.  I did great.  We stopped at our favorite chocolate factory (Wilburs in Lititz, PA)  I did NOT buy any candy for myself.  Todd did...but not I.  I splurged and got myself a new hat.  I've been wearing hats when I workout.  (and turns out work in the garden also). My hair comes free with the activity and then drives me NUTS while it flops in my face...a hat keeps it under control and tucked away.  I felt very happy with my decision.  I didn't need the chocolate.  I got a long lasting hat/