Movement in the Right Direction

 I am still in the game.  I know it's only been two days of feeling present and ready to tackle this journey again, but I honestly feel good about where I am.  Now don't get confused, I didn't say that I was perfect during these last two days but I feel as if I have taken some steps toward a healthier and thinner me.  I am moving in the right direction.  I still have no promises to make, but I do have one or two concrete plans for the future as I move forward.

A Non-Perfect Victory

Yesterday I wrote that I was not going to promise that there would be no candy after my lunch.  (you can read about that habit and my post from yesterday here.)   I also mentioned in that same post that I would be navigating a lunch at work where we were ordering out and that I would track it.   I am proud to say that I DID track the whole day.   As I suspected my calories were over where I have always wanted them to be.  However, I am so proud to say that I did NOT have any chocolate after my lunch.  I am also extremely proud to announce that I ordered a salad.  Yes, in terms of calories; a chef salad with dressing may have been just as many calories as a sandwich and fries (or at least the sandwich with no fries)  BUT I filled my body with nutritious food versus empty calories!  I call that a victory!

 

Change in the Scales 

 I used to weigh myself every day.  I have come on here so many times over the years and expounded about and defended my position.  (You can read some of those posts here and here ).  I still hold to the belief that weighing every day is a fabulous tool.  I learned so much about my body by weighing every day.  I learned the effects of a super high sodium meal and how much I should expect to pop up on the scales after such a meal.  I learned that my body weight will spike two days after a larger caloric day. I was able to identify signals within my body that indicated changes on the scales. Weighing daily taught me so much.  Furthermore, when the scales are trending downward each and every day, a daily weigh in is fabulous as it keeps you motivated.

However, the scales do not cooperate and move for me the way that they did when I was in my 30's when I lost the weight the first time.   The scales don't even operate the way that they did when I was in my 40's.  The older I get the more difficult it is to move the scales in the right direction, so it seems.  At the very best it is freakishly slow movement.   I know weight loss  can be achieved at my age, but it is slower and a whole lot less linear.  It's part of aging and that is ok.  But that change in how I am losing is demoralizing.  When I am demoralized, that is when I give up and say "who cares, I am eating what I want since eating right for the last however many days didn't make a difference'....and thereby I display no consistency in my efforts.   So I am switching to weekly weigh ins.  I will be weighing myself once a week, Saturday mornings is the plan right now. Other than that one weigh in day, I am not planning on stepping onto the scales.  Weekly weigh ins for now!

I will throw in the caveat that when (not if....WHEN) I reach my goal, and maybe even earlier when I get closer to that goal that I may go back to daily weigh ins.  I do still fervently believe that it is a good way to watch what is happening and is a great way to stop a gain before it gets out of control!

 She Will Not Fail

My last change is within this website/blog and you may have already guessed what this change will be.    I have been writing on here for almost 20 years.  (Yes, I wrote my first post on Jan. 5, 2006).  I have long known that when I am posting that I am more focused and more in tune with my weight loss journey.  Writing on here has long been my accountability. (And readers have been my motivation, inspiration and cheerleaders.)  

This change came about a while ago as I sat back and KNEW that I had to do something and do it NOW (and not tomorrow).  I turned to prayer, heavily asking for help with my weight and asking for help with my emotional angst.   In the midst of those beseeching prayers I happened to read a post from someone that I have followed for years. (Sweat & Sparkle – Taking this journey back to me, my health, my happiness).  She has struggled with a lot of the same things that I have encountered, the death of a mother, weight loss, weight gain, etc.  And she shared a scripture that has been speaking to her lately.   "God is within her, she will not fall, God will help her at the break of day." (Psalm 46:5)  Yes yes yes.....perfect bible verse for where I am at.  

 

She also challenged her self to write more frequently as she works through healing her body mind and spirit.   Now this is a challenge that makes sense to me and that I can get behind.  So while I was already coming her because I know it's good for me, I"m all on board with joining her on her challenge and accepting it as my own!

Looking to the Future

I have managed to cobble together two days where while I wasn't perfect, I made good choices with food and with coming on here for accountability.  The weekend is upon me and for me that means even more difficult choices.    I am once again not promising anything, but I'm hoping that I can at least make one small choice that propels me toward a healthier me!