Eye Opening

 My mini vacation was so much fun.  I laughed and we had a great time.   But there were three very real sobering truths that I had to face.   Luckily I was with a good friend who didn't let me get sucked down into the pits as I discovered these sobering truths.

The first truth was pictures.  I typically do anything I can to avoid being in a picture.  Don't get me wrong, I love photographs.  But I enjoy being behind the camera.  But me in the picture....are you crazy?  Yet Linda wanted pictures of the two of us.  She wanted pictures of herself at certain landmarks that we visited and yes, she wanted pictures of me at the same place.  I had my picture taken more times last weekend than I have had in the last years.   OK, maybe I exaggerate but it was a whole bunch! 

 Let me tell you, there were tons of pictures of me.  And let me be very clear.......I didn't like what I saw in the pictures.    I wasn't living under a log, I know that I am overweight.   I know that I had gained a significant amount of weight in the last year.  I knew it....in my head.   But these pictures made me SEE it with my eyes. How in the world did I not see this?????

The second thing was my fitness level.  I did the 75 hard back earlier this year and I started to get myself in line.  I was doing great until I got the flu....I had just finished the 75 hard and getting sick caused me to lose my momentum.  I stopped exercising when I was sick and when I was well enough I never picked it back up.   Before I got sick I NEVER turned on the tv during the day.  When I was recovering from the stomach virus I started watching TV.  I have watched TV almost if not every day since then.  Bad habits.    This past weekend I had to face the truth that the 'good' that I had done for myself with the 75 hard had started to wash away in the last 3 months of inactivity.  I was struggling to breathe when we walked up inclines.  It was ugly!  (Luckily for me....unluckily for her, my friend was also struggling so we were evenly matched....but that's no excuse.)    I fought hard during the 75 hard to strengthen my fitness and I let it all fall away. How sad is that?

The other truth was that there were activities that I couldn't participate in because of my weight.   I have ALWAYS wanted to do the Bridge Walk.  Linda wanted to do it....but it turns out that my waist was too big for the harness.  (Luckily for me I read the small print online so I wasn't embarrassed to get there and be turned away).  Likewise, the canopy/zipline tour......I exceeded the weight limit.   NOT cool, I only exceeded the weight limit and the waist size by small amounts, but regardless, my weight limited me!   

As sobering as the truths are, what makes me me is what I chose to do with the information.   Will I settle back on the couch and allow another three months to pass with no exercise and more weight gained?  Or will I say enough is enough and change the trajectory that I have been on.

I am choosing to change the trajectory.   I have tracked my food every day thus far this week. I'm not aiming for perfection with my food.  Right now I am tracking every bite.  I know for me when I track I tend to automatically clean up my eating habits....so right now I'm just tracking.    I have also gotten some exercise in each day.   I'm not aiming for two or three hours.  I"m not even aiming for 1 hour. I'm aiming for at least 20 minutes.  I am not making earth shattering changes right now. But I am making changes that will carry me through a weight loss journey.    I am making changes that can help me get this weight off once and for all!  So look close at the picture from my recent weekend because I want it to be the last you see of me at that weight!