Friday, February 15, 2019

Ruler of my Weight: What rules my healthy lifestyle choices

I am in the midst of trying to change my lifestyle to one that is more solidly based on healthy principles.  This is an awesome and wise shift in thinking.  But along with that I think it is important to figure out how this unhealthy lifestyle came about. Or in other words....what rules my lifestyle choices.

Now there could be a multitude of reasons why someone finds themselves overweight and why the maintain that higher unhealthier weight.   It can be different for each and every person who is battling this journey.  It can be simply that a person is a social eater and happens to be very social.  It could be a hormonal problem or based on a side affect from medication.  (Just to name a few).  But for me?  Food is my addiction.

An addiction is the ruler of my life...and the mastermind behind my weight problem.  I’m lucky...I’m not addicted to some illegal substance.  I’m not addicted to nicotine.  I’m not even addicted to caffeine.  (Not anymore).  I’m addicted to the power of food and how it makes me feel.  But I’m unlucky because a food addiction is so frequently overlooked as a valid and real addiction in today’s society.

I eat for happiness.  I eat through sadness.  I eat because I am addicted to the ‘high’ or feeling of contentment that food fills me with.  

I recognize this.  I have talked about it quite a few times over the years   But talking about it doesn’t make it easier.  It’s not an excuse. But it IS a stepping stone for understanding why I am the way I am.  The knowledge IS a tool that I can use to overcome my battles with my weight and healthy lifestyle journey.

Luckily, a food addiction is one that is not based on a physical when I deny myself I won’t be physically ill.   But’s a mental addiction in the mind.  It’s just as hard to overcome...but with the knowledge of what my ‘ruler’ is, I have a better chance at overcoming!  

With this knowledge I can remind myself that I handing a second helping will not make me feel better....even though my addiction tells me that it will! I have to tell myself that the indulgence in the dessert when I’m not really hungry may make me feel better emotionally...but only for a few moments! And addiction based emotional response is only temporary. I have to retrain my mind to not listen to the voices of the addiction that tell me to eat!  Knowledge is power!

So what is your Ruler?  What was the catalyst to your current weight?  What is the internal reason that brought you to this point?   Once you have that figured out, you can make a plan to really fight whatever demon caused the excess weight!


jen said...

Knowledge is got this....

*Stained Glass Butterfly* said...

I never know if addiction is the right word for it, but I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with food. When I am stressed, all I want is junk food and soda! I haven't figured out yet how to break that association or link. I agree that it is a mental game. Just not sure yet how to win it!

jesseybell said...

And it is so hard because 1) you can't give it up forever - we all have to eat and 2) you wear your addiction as a badge for everyone to see.

And what is hard is I know I was born this way - I didn't have any childhood trauma, overall my childhood was fairly good. But I was the 6 year old who got 25 cents as an allowance and candy bars in 1976 were 25 cents so I immediately spent it on that. Or stealing $ from my mom's purse in middle school to buy big bags of Doritoes (because they didn't sell small ones) and pints of Haagen Daaz ice cream. I was the kids whose Halloween candy didn't last 3 days. So changing my lifestyle is HARD - I can go to therapy but I KNOW that I need to change my lifestyle permanently and easier said that done :(

Have a wonderful weekend!

mxtodis123 said...

Before I started WW, and even today when I am sort of out of control, I tend to hide food from hubby. I think of myself as an emotional eater--my biggest problem is eating when bored--but hiding food is definitely a sign of addiction.

TheAgonyOfBeingFat said...

Accepting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery!

Tiffany said...

I am the same food addiction and disordered eating