Inspiration not Aspiration

I had an epiphany the other day.  It came about quite naturally but it really does go hand in hand with the soul searching I have been doing lately and with the lessons that I learned from completing the 75 Hard.   So let me break down the two facets of my epiphany the soul searching and the inspiration and then I will wrap it up into my thoughts going forward. 

The first part of the equation of my epiphany is the thought processes that have been going through my mind in regards to the amazing accomplishment of actually completing the 75 hard and the internal knowledge that the challenge worked for me and that I felt that I needed to find a new challenge  in order to keep my motivation rolling in a positive direction.   I devised a plan to carry my motivation and habits through the month of April, I was going to have 'One Month of Winning."   I was going to slay the month of April.   But life happened and I got sidetracked.  One month of winning was not a win.  It was more a month of recovery and discovery.   Undaunted I decided that May was going to be my A-May-Zing month.   Corny or Catchy, who knows but I was excited to start.   By May 5th the month's plans were no longer a-may-zing.  I had devised my plan for May with room for imperfection.  I was aiming for an 80-20 thing, 80% perfection and the other 20%, well that could be as good as I could make it.   But by May 5th I was operating at pretty much Zero percent perfection.  It was NOT going well.   My cutely (corny) named monthly plans failed me.   It was a challenge but something happened and it just didn't motivate me.  Seriously, I couldn't even make it 5 days in May....yet I made it 75 days for the 75 hard challenge.   This made me think about what really motivates me, what kind of challenge works for me.  I was thinking....pondering.....debating in my head.  I was no closer to an answer when I stumbled upon the other facet that brought about my epiphany. 

Years ago Jason and I watched a documentary.  (How in the world can I remember this...but it was a day or two before Thanksgiving in 2016 and we were in a hotel in Reading, PA.)  The documentary was called "The Barkley Marathon:  The Race that Eats its Young"   What an amazing documentary, seriously if you haven't seen it.....I highly recommend it.   Through the ensuing years I've kept a loose watch on the Barkley Marathon. I've watched a few more documentaries and kept an eye on the results each year.  Apparently I didn't do it in 2024....because 2024 was huge and I didn't learn about it until just this week.  First of all there were 5 finishers!   That in itself is amazing in a race that has been around since 1986 but only has 20 (now) people that have can claim to have finished the race.  But the bigger thing......for the first time EVER a woman  finished the Barkley!  I read the reports and watched new documentaries.  I also looked up the results for 2025, which had no winners.  In fact only one person made it 3/5 of the way through the Barkley in 2025.    This race has been noted to be a race that pushes people past their limits to really see what someone is made of.  The race that truly is ALL about the will of human nature.   

Rediscovering the Barkley Marathon was truly inspirational for me.   While I have absolutely no aspiration to run the Barkley Marathon, it did remind me of how much I used to enjoy running.  It made me think about how running was something that was a challenge for me.  I was always trying to best myself.  Yes, I was in a competition with myself....always looking to be faster, go further...or sometimes just do it because it made me a bad ass!  I didn't have talent and I was never super fast, but I had the will to do it!

So on Tuesday, May 6th I went out and took my first run in about 2 years.  Let me tell you, it was not pretty.  It was not graceful.  It was certainly not fast.  In fact, I restarted a training program where I am doing walk/run intervals and let me tell you, those 60 second run intervals were tough!  But I completed it.

I came home and pulled up the stats from when I did the same program a few years back.   I was comforted to see that my stats were almost exactly the same.....at least I didn't get worse!  But at the same time, I was disgusted to be back at the beginning once again.   I also looked at some of my race reports from about 10 -12 years ago.  You can link to all of those posts here.   I am in inspired.

  I have looked at a few 5K races/runs that are upcoming in my area.   I am actually toying with doing the Donut Alley Rally in Hagerstown which is held on a Friday night in early August.  That gives me 3 months to be in 5K race ready.  (My goal has always been to complete a race and NOT be the last one to cross the finish line.) The main reason I have not pulled the trigger on an entry fee is the fact that I still to not have a job.  I HOPE to have one by then though....and while I hope to be working day shift.....I honestly don't know what my schedule may be and obviously if I get a job a job will come first.  If that doesn't work, I have a few other 5k's on my radar ....one in September, one in October and one in November, so I do have some back ups should I decide to test my mettle with a 5K. 

 I am making no promises about this 'challenge' and quest to get back into running.   I  have made too many claims about this challenge or that challenge.  But I will say this.....  I like running because I am in competition with myself and no one else.  I like running because it is as simple as me completing my training runs and knowing that putting in the time really is all that is needed.  (Well and a good pair of tennis shoes.).  With running I am in control of my progress.    And it's time to take control and get-a-running!