The number game

Yesterday I was talking to a friend.  I was talking about the focus on numbers.  It is so easy to get totally immersed and obsessed with numbers on this journey.   It starts with the calories.(or points for when I was a WW girl).  I swim in the calorie count of the food.  I wallow in my caloric budget.  I jump for joy at the earned calories.  It's numbers....numbers....numbers.   As if that isn't enough to be focused on, I then live for the number on the scale.  I step on the scale and hold my breath waiting to see what number I will be blessed/cursed with.  I obsess about that number too.   And then I started running and all of a sudden there is a whole new realm of numbers.  How long can I run/jog before I have to walk.  How many miles?  Pace?   GRRRRR

At the beginning of the year I refused to set goal weight resolutions.  Instead I decided to just do what was right and allow the weight to come off in it's own time.  Does that mean that I'm not tracking my progress?  No.  I still track by weighing myself.  But I'm trying to take the focus off of the numbers.  That got me to thinking.  If I was in perfect shape would the numbers really matter?  If I was fit and active and all my healthy indicators (cholesterol, bp, etc etc etc) were in check would I be obsessed with the number.  What about if I looked like I was a size 6 but really weighted 250 pounds. Would I still be obsessed with the number?  How warped is my mind right now about the numbers?   I'm trying to learn to 'KNOW' the numbers but to not obsess with them.  I'm trying to take the focus off the numbers.

The numbers are not important to me.  I'm focusing on the benefits that my body is getting from these changes.  OK, that's what I'm trying to convince myself. Will I ever fully succeed....probably not, but if I can at least not obsesses with the numbers than I will call it a victory!


So tomorrow is a 5K on the battlefield.  I'm registered and ready to run! Sherry and I have decided to try to run it.  However, we are both in agreement that we are going to do what our bodies allow. If we end up walking more, so be it.  For a while we were totally focused on the number  "have to beat this" or "do that".   Yesterday we talked and that is not the focus any longer. The focus is the victory of completion!

All this talk about taking away the focus on the numbers, last week I hit my 20 pound mark. (big loss....probably gonna be a small loss this week, but I'm OK with that).  So on Monday I ordered my next charm.  I chose a tennis shoe.  During this 10 pounds I really worked on this running thing.  The jury is out if I will continue, but this 10 pounds lost can be identified with running....and also the shoe can mark the victory of actually completing the couch to 5k training program.  (pardon the weird picture...I don't know how in the world I had my hand when I took the picture, but my hand really looks deformed.....it's not!)

Charming myself

I have been toying with various rewards for myself.  I've thought about this and that.  I've thought about just saying that with each ten pounds I lose that I will then set the next reward.  I've gone back and forth with this for so long. And then I remembered a reward system that I had heard someone else a long time ago use.  This girl (sorry, I have NO clue who it was...I read this probably 5 years ago... on a blog) bought a charm bracelet.  Her rewards were new charms signifying her loss.  I remember thinking how awesome that idea was.  I remember being saddened because I was already more than halfway through my weight loss and didn't feel like it would be right to retroactively reward myself for all the previous pounds lost.   But the idea stuck in my head.  It resurfaced today.

You see, today I had my official weigh in for the week.  I lost 3.1 pounds.  That is 11.8 pounds since the beginning of my restart which was at the beginning of this month.  Time for a reward!!!!

I decided to roll with this as my reward system. I'm NEVER going to have another chance to reward myself this way and it will be a great reminder for me to be able to look down at my bracelet and remember my accomplishments.   I decided on stepping away from the typical charm bracelet that we all remember from growing up.  I went with a pandora style charm bead bracelet.  I didn't want to spend a ton of money to start this process...so I shopped around and bought a relatively cheap one.  I figure I can purchase a better bracelet down the line when money is not so tight.

I have decided to get a new charm for every ten pounds that I lose.  I have also decided to be open to getting a charm to signify big weight loss/healthy lifestyle events.  For example, a 5K that I actually RUN.  My first century bike ride, fitting in my engagement ring again (I had it resized smaller when I was at my low weight and have never had it resized up again).  In this vein, I got a charm to signify my starting this journey again.  I thought that what I chose was perfect because I lived in regret and doubt for so long that I never really put my all into restarting this journey.  And that just caused the regret to grow larger in my mind.  I saw this and knew that it was a perfect charm to signify the beginning of this FINAL mission to lose weight!


In case that second paragraph was overlooked, I will repeat....I LOST 3.1 pounds this week bringing my total to 11.8 since I recommitted myself!   That would mean that I am due 10 pound charm.  I chose something relatively simple.  I chose a charm that simply said "Dream"  These first 10 pounds have happened simply because I allowed myself to dream about the possibilities that lie before me if I just put my nose to the grindstone and DO IT!   I started to dream and 4 weeks later I'm down 11.8 pounds.   Dreams are what keep me motivated.   :-)


Yesterday I wrote a bit about Masala Bhangra, the new exercise dance class that I had the opportunity to try yesterday.   Miscellaneous Mom asked me how I could compare Masala Bhangra to zumba.  I figured I would explain it on here, since Masala Bhangra is not a very well known class...YET.     Basically these are two classes that are both centered around dance.  While Zumba focuses primarily on music and dance steps that are Latin in flavor.....Salsa, Meringue, etc etc etc.   Masala Bhangra uses an Indian music and the dance steps are derived from the Indian Bhangra style dancing.  So very similar in concept, but very different in beat and style.   Zumba seems to incoroporate more fitness moves and masala Bhangra focuses more on the dance. (however that could simply be due to the fact that this was an introductory class for everyone)  However, that said, my muscles were just as sore from Masala Bhangra as they are from a killer Anita zumba class.   My arms got a better workout with Masala Bhangra yesterday....they were SORE last night.  Why is this?   The Bhangra dance apparently has lots more arm movements, as in most of the hour my arms were either over my head or held out at shoulder length.  Uhhhhhh arms get heavy after a while!   The class is just as fun as zumba...basically just a different beat pulsating through the room and my body!  It's just as fast paced as Zumba. Just like a good zumba instructor, the Masala Bhangra instructor yesterday showed modifications for moves that were above some participants levels.  So the class is easily adaptable for all fitness levels. The time flew by!  I hope that there was a LOT of interest in the class for the upcoming training in March.  If there is, I will be very hopeful that a class begins near me at a time that I can attend!  On that note, my mind tells me that I'm not in shape enough to become an instructor......I know that's a crock.  However, it's on a weekend I work and I don't have the money to pay for the class.  Yes, it was that much fun!  :-)