Saturday, May 11, 2013

The urge to quit

The last week or two has been extremely difficult in terms of my exercise.  I have gone out to complete my runs. I've really attempted them.  However, they are just less than stellar. I'm frustrated at my progress.  I'm not happy with it.  I read one blog where the person said "I just worked to run faster each time I went out"   That's easier said than done.  I am running at 80-85% of my HR ....I can't push it harder or my pea pickin' heart will spontaneously com bust. (ha).   I have/had a goal set for my next 5K....a time goal.  This race is  looming very close and I am consistently running my 5k 2-3 minutes slower than I need to be.  I'm only hoping that the adrenaline and whatnot pushes me to a PR. 

Saturday for the first time in a while I actually felt like quitting.  (in fairness, these thoughts came after a treadmill run..and I hate treadmill runs)   It felt hopeless.  I am disgusted at the slow progress and honestly the fact that the last week I've struggled to actually RUN my miles and I have to constantly fight the temptation to stop.  I sound like Jillian Michael's in my head....I run and drop to a walk.  Immediately, I hear her voice in my head yelling at me to RUN....and I run. (she scares me!)   The urge to quit is heavy in my mind.  VERY heavy in my mind.    I don't want to quit.  I vowed to commit through the beginning of August.......but it would be SOO easy to quit.  I'm not going to.  I'm going to see this through.  I'm just praying for some visible and concrete progress.  

I got my bike.   The adjustment from my Trek Nav to my new bike has been not so much difficult but painful. (I only ride my trek on the canal...FLAT and no transitioning to hills isn't helping the adjustment)   It's  big adjustment.  I was talking to someone the other day ...a bank customer that saw me out on my new bike and when I mentioned the transition, he said "some people never adjust".  First I wanted to slap him silly for his negativity.  But then I started to think deep about it.....most people don't really commit TO adjusting.  It gets tough and they give up.  I'm determined to adjust  the pain will disspate!

I'm not a quitter anymore!  I will (as long as legs hold out...or more specifically the arthritic knees hold out) continue through at least the August mark.   Quiting may have been a fleeting thought (ok, it's a recurring theme in my mind), but it's NOT AN OPTION!


Darcy Winters said...

Is it possible that you are over-training? You're exercising, but maybe you're not conditioning correctly for running a marathon? Not sure how that works, but it would seem like your muscles may not be having enough time to recover and your heart is a muscle too.

timothy said...

STOP worrying, STOP fretting, STOP judging, and STOP thinking. you're worrying yourself into a frazel you ENJOY running you were speaking of it in such glowing terms and so positive just weeks ago. nothing has changed hon, the outside is interfering do NOT let that derail/defeat you. and STOP thinking about august enjoy today. ok end of harping now comes the cheerleader bit, you CAN do this, you HAVE done this, tell that doubtful self defeating voice in your head to shut the fuck up! you got this darling, you're a rock star and I KNOW you'll get the hang of the new bike and get your goal time for the 5k...........after all you're a Goddess and a Rock Star!

Fran said...

First running every run faster than your previous one: stop listening to this person immediately!

The most important runs are the slow, long runs, they build your running base. You run fast at tempo runs or speed work. Not every run has to be a fast one.

Second: nothing wrong with walk breaks. Don't beat yourself up on that. One day I run 30 minutes straight, the next I need a break every 5 minutes for example. It doesn't matter, it gives your body time to recover during the run.

And like Darcy said, you might be overtraining. I would suggest: don't run 2 days in a row and take 1 full rest day every week at least.

good luck.