I survived the zap zap of my eye ball! I was absolutely terrified! I know that so many people have had laser surgeries and corrections done on their eyes, but it still terrified me! One slip of the zap zap and well…..
I am writing this all down so that the next time should it happen I know what to expect and remember the experience. Hey, the retinas are thinning so it will most likely happen again.
The Consultation
First of all, the doctor’s office that I am going to is insane. They treat the patients kindly, but like cattle. Literally! There is one doctor in the office each day. So you wouldn’t expect to have a ton of people waiting, yet there are probably 30 people waiting….I kid you not! Standing room only at various points during my consultation. You sit for at least 30-45 minutes before they first called me back. They led me to a machine in the hall where they took the scans of my eyes. Then they ushered me back to the waiting room where I sat crowded together with 29 of my new besties! And you then wait again….until they call you back…for the next step in the exam. And then back to the waiting room you go. When I called the other people waiting my besties, I kid you not….we were all talking to each other….it didn’t matter if you knew someone or not, we were all in the same boat. Back and forth to an office to get the next step of your exam done and then back to the waiting room. Finally about 2-3 hours after my appointment time I got called back and placed into a different office. And I finally got to see the doctor…..for about 5 minutes.
This doctor is highly recommended. Supposedly one of the best in the area. But there is no bedside manner whatsoever. He never really even spoke directly to me other than to tell me to look up…look right…look left. Etc. At the end of his short exam he vaguely said ‘you have to holes in your retina, set up an appointment for in two weeks’ I’m not even sure if the comment was made to me or the nurse in the room. I did jump in and ask ‘what restrictions in terms of driving and work for after the appointment’. ‘No restrictions ‘ was added that the procedure would be mere minutes and my vision would be dark for a minute or two and then I would be back to normal. When I said ‘oh shucks I was hoping to get off of work’ he did laugh and say ‘I can write you a note to get off work if you want the time off’ I passed because I’m not wasting my PTO time on something like that. But that was the extent of my ‘consultation’ I know about the thinning retina and the pre-glaucoma because he told the nurse in the room to notate it on my chart while I was there. That’s it…nothing else. I verified with the receptionist on the way out that I could definitely drive after the procedure and had no restrictions and should only be about an hour long. I set up the appointment and I walked out a bit in shock with an appointment for two weeks out. I actually called in a few days before the procedure to triple check that there were no restrictions.
The day of the appointment
I was one of the first people to have an appointment, so I hoped it would be a faster visit. I will start by saying that it was only an hour…but I did make the back and forth to the waiting room once or twice as they dilated my eyes and numbed my eyeball.
The final room where the procedure was done was dimly lit. The doctor walked in and he asked me to tell him what I was there for. I laughed and said , I sure hope you know!’ But he did say ‘in your words’ so I flat out said, you are going to zap zap my eye balls. He said ‘perfect description. I also asked him if he had been out drinking and carousing the night before, cuz I needed a steady hand. He chuckled and said he felt pretty good that day. And then it started…
The Laser Procedure
The doctor moved into positio what looked like a little cup (now don't take my word, I got a quick glance at it as he moved into position). He used that to look into my eye. It was a bright white light. I immediately relaxed. He was just looking at that point. But then the white light changed to green lines that were flashing. They flashed and flashed. It started to get uncomfortable. Yes I could feel it on my eyeball. It was hurting and I started to wonder how much longer I could take. Cuz seriously, it was not feeling good. And then it stopped. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life…..even though it was probably only seconds! (I wasn’t timing but realistically I KNOW it was probably no longer than 20-30 seconds…it just felt like forever.) I wasn’t timing but I was so relieved to be done!
Then he looked at my chart and was like, ok let’s work on the second one. Yes, I had to go through it again because I had not one tear but two! Same thing. White light and then the green laser flashes. Another 10 minutes (felt like it….but once again probably only seconds) of laser flashes zapping my eyeballs and it was done.
I made the remark at that point that ‘well that was enough to give you a headache’ and he responded with, yeah we didn’t want to tell you to scare you. What???
The doctor ran this wand over my closed eye lid (I asked, ultrasound to check the position of the floaters in my eye) which took all of 10 seconds (seriously…seconds) and he was prepared to leave the room. He said ‘make an appointment in 4-6 months for a check. (From talking in the waiting room I had already ascertained that following a retina tear and subsequent correction that it usually entails 6 months checks for further tears) And that was it.
The Aftermath
The dimness only lasted maybe thirty seconds, not even enough to really register in my brain, plus they had the room so dim that it wasn't very obvious. By the time I got up from the chair and made my way to the front reception desk to make my follow-up appointment there was no dimness at all. The appointment was quickly made and I was out the door at almost exactly the hour mark.
I broke down and sobbed as soon as I walked out the door. Sobbing as I made my way across the parking lot and into my car. It was over, and I had survived with my eyesight intact. I wiped my tears (the tears were washing the yellow dilation solution out so my tears in that eye were yellow) and got myself under control. It was time to start my day.
Except that I could feel my eyeball.
I could feel every bone in my face around my eye.
My eye was dilated to the max, making things blurry in that one eye. (And making me look higher than a kite).
Yeah, recovery wasn't 'bad'. I wasn't in pain. But it felt as if I had taken a punch in the face, right in the eyeball. A punch that caused my eye to hurt.....and my cheekbone to hurt....and whatnot. I felt like I got decked. I felt like I was back after my accident on the bicycle where I landed on my face. The aftermath of that accident felt exactly the same as this procedure. However, after that accident, I was black and blue ......there was no evidence of anything like that after this procedure.
I was just tired and ready to call it a day and sleep off the ache in my face that first day. However, I made it through the work day and managed to be productive (even with a blurry eye....because that dilation lasted about 6-7 hours).
Day two was much better. When I woke up I noticed almost immediately that moving my eyeball to the extreme (like rolling my eyes, or looking out of the corner of my eye) hurt. It also hurt to touch my eyelid or even around my eye. And my eye just felt heavy and tired, if that makes any sense.
Day three I was almost better, just felt a bit of heaviness in my eye. Not pain, not uncomfortable like the two previous days, I just felt it and was aware that my eye was there.
By day four I was back to normal.
Conclusion
I wish my doctor had given me some kind of paperwork so I knew what to expect. Was that normal to feel like you ran into a fist? Should my eye be that sensitive to touch? I have no clue if it was normal. Sure I went to "Doc Google" but that was just more confusing as I saw that many times there were restrictions for a week afterward. Things like bending over, lifting heavy things, etc. A lot of the sites also included the fact that antibiotic drops would probably be prescribed to protect during healing? Hmmmmm I wish there had been more direct and clear communication.
I know that the odds of me having to have another procedure are pretty high. Will I stay with this doctor? If he is the best to complete the procedure? Probably, I want the best because we only get one set of eyes. But I will freely admit that I have thought about researching and switching doctors to someone that is a bit more 'user friendly'. Someone that will take the time to actually talk about it, a place that doesn't treat you like cattle, and someone that actually takes the time to print a simple page of aftercare instructions/FAQ's. But a switch remains to be seen.
Will I take off the full day after the appointment? I'm torn on that. At times I say, 'absolutely'! Simply because I was still dilated to the max (my coworkers kept coming up to me to laugh at my one dilated eye....ok and to check on me.) and while normal activity was not noticable with one blurry eye, working on the computer was tough. But even that is not the reason. The reason I sometimes say I would take the day off is just that tiredness from my face aching! It got to me! But that said, do I want to waste a PTO day to sit at home with an aching face? Probably not, not when I have proven that I can still be productive at work after the procedure. So really it just boils down to what I"m feeling at the time.
