Sunday, March 10, 2024

Frustrated and Fighting the Urge to GIve UP

 I have trying to lose weight!  It is the most frustrating experience one can have!  I mean, don't get me wrong; when I am actually losing I feel amazing.  I am on top of the world and all is fantastic.  But when the weight is not coming off it is the most demoralizing and horrible experience.

The weight was starting to come off and things were going well at the end of January and the beginning of February.  I was on top of the world.   Then my mom died.   I actually held it together for the week of her death.   I was so proud.  I didn't succumb to all the tempting and bad foods.  I was doing great!  I had won...right?

Yeah, how wrong I was.  All  can say is that I let down my guard.  In fairness that first week was more surreal.  It wasn't until the second week that it really hit me with the sheer loneliness and grief.  I haven't gained mad weight.  I"m actually still within a 3 pound range...with the bottom edge skirting where I was when my mom died...but more often at the top of the 3 pound range.  SO I guess I should admit to a three pound gain.  What is worse?  I'm still trying to lose and it's just not coming off!  I mean seriously, my calories were never over 1500!  NEVER.

I looked at my food closely and I saw a problem area.  I was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich each day for lunch.   Seems innocent right?  Except that in my personal experience I know that eating bread/potatoes/pasta can only be a one a day thing for me.  By eating it for lunch I should have forwent it for dinner ,but I was not!  So that is what I think my issue is.  I think! I hope! So I'm working to change that!

 I have been working on deep cleaning things around the house.  I have been wiping down kitchen cabinets.  I am also taking the time to move things around in the kitchen.  I've lived here two years and I sat back and really thought about the kitchen to think about what was working and what was 'annoying'.  I have juggled a few things around to hopefully be more efficient and less 'annoying'.   I"m happy with what I have been getting done!

We finally bought some fruit trees for our property!  I am so excited.  THey are bare root trees, so we can/need to plant them soon!  I also got my strawberries!  YIPEE!  I'm so excited!


        3 Apple (Fuji, Honey Crisp, Golden Delicious)
        1 peach

        3 blueberries (three different types...these are Jason's babies)


        blackberries (we have one wild blackberry on the very edge...but these are designed for container                 gardening so will go on our front porch in containers)

    Cherry (a bush)....we have a cherry tree but it doesn't produce...hopefully the bush will be a good                     pollinator for it!


I have also started attending a beekeepers class.  SO we are really thinking about starting our bee colony this year!  WOO HOO!   We haven't given up on the chickens.....but might just do the bees first!


That's about it for here.  Just trying to lose weight and making it through each day!




Anonymous said...

Why not cut the carbs out completely?...sounds like they are a major enticement that ultimately isn't healthy anyway.

Congratulations on the trees and bees. I've kept bees in the past and they are so you get honey!! - a good carb!! Sounds like your place is coming along amazingly.

One thing I've noticed in following your desire of weight loss is that any outside influence or crisis becomes your excuse to over-eat. Ultimately YOU are the boss of what goes in your mouth, not husband getting hurt, job stress, mother passing, etc. As demanding of your emotions and life times such as those are, they do not give you license to forego taking care of yourself.

peppylady (Dora) said...

I love fruit trees and such.

jen said...

I love our little orchard…we have just finished freezing all the fruit.

Tiffany said...

Im sorry to hear about your mom. Maybe take the focus off your weigh ins for awhile and just work on eating like you know you should, get in more physical movement on a daily and just focus on feeling better.

Amy said...

I wish I had half your ambition! We have two apple trees and last year was a big year, the branches were drooping they were so full. We are still cleaning up last year's apples.
Self care is about more than the scale. Remind yourself of that every day.

Paula C said...

My goodness I could relate to this. I have been trying to lose weight For the last 2 years and I've had 0 success. Talk about wanting to give up. This January I decided I was going to lose weight. No BS. I have made some changes but obviously they have not led to the loss I have been working toward. In the last 3 months I've only lost 5 pounds. I still exercise. I do a 3 mile jog 4 days a week. I have even added in resistance training. So frustrating. But I'm not giving up I'm doing a reevaluation too. I want to get this weight off once and for all by year end.