Monday, March 23, 2020

Stress has grabbed hold of me

I know, I know...this is my weekly weight loss report.  But I’m going to tell you right aren’t getting the number that the scale said!  But you will get a report on my efforts!  For sure!

My weigh in week started strong! I was determined to los weight!  I was going to do this!  And that first day was fabulous!  I got outside and got in a walk in on my lunch break.  The weather was fabulous and signs of spring was everywhere!  I was tickled because I had never seen turtles in the lake where I walk on my lunch break!  But we have them!!!

 The weekend went well also.  I worked to keep my eating under control and we did a bike ride  AND went for a hike!

I was hot in the trail to a great week!  I had navigated the weekend...I was ready to face my work week!  And if you have read many of my posts, you will know that my work weeks are usually the easiest for me to keep my eating under control.  I had this week in the bag right?  And let me say...I did great with my eating through my work week...except for one stressful night!  But.....

On Monday the rumors were flying at work. There were three main and somewhat substantiated and connected rumors, they are as follows.   ‘I heard from the security guard in the lobby that someone that works for another company in our building is symptomatic for the corona virus’,   ‘My friend has told me that our company has received notice that someone that works for another tenant in the building has had direct contact with an infected person’ and   ‘I heard from my friend who is friends with the cleaning person that someone that works for the company on floor six has texted positive for corona’.     The rumors seemed even more substantiated by the lack of people working on those other floors.  The parking garage was a ghost town!

Those rumors had me doing a lot of thinking.  The virus apparently lives outside the host for hours upon hours!   I was worried about working and the risks I was taking.   I was worried about the finances and paying my bills if I didn’t work.  I tried to walk and relax as much as possible!  Both on my lunch breaks and after work each night.

My weight did not go down.   Even though I was watching my food intake my weight did not drop.  In fact, my weight seemed to be going up!  Was stress the culprit? I know I’ve been stressed enough to be having my sleep interrupted by dreams.  Dreams that are replaying some of my stress induced worries.  So maybe, but  I don’t know!

On Thursday my work sent me home to work.  (Oh I had heard a rumor about it but I wasn’t sure if it was going to happen and work out for I was stressed all week about that too!)  that night was stressful as I set up my work station at home but couldn’t connect.  I did trouble shooting but it wasn’t working.  Finally at 9:30pm I heard that we wouldn’t be able to connect yet...IT was still working on the programming to allow us to remote into the system.  

On Friday the rumors were finally confirmed.  The individual in all of those corona scare rumors had indeed tested positive.  I got the official email telling me that while I most likely didn’t have direct contact, they were notifying of possible contact and proximity.  While there is no way of knowing if I had direct contact, I most likely did NOT have face to face contact,  but there is no way of knowing for sure who was in the elevator with this person or standing beside this person in the shared cafeteria and other common areas during the days before they started showing symptoms.  Regardless of if I had face to face contact....I know that I most likely touched a surface that this person touched.  Be it an elevator button, door handle. Stair rail.  Something.  So this  hit close to home.   

So with that being said, I DID visit my elderly mother who  has diabetes and is considered high risk.   Don’t worry, I didn’t stay long.  You see. I stood on the walkway in front of her house and she stood on her porch and we talked for a few minutes.  I was never closer than 6-8 feet.    I never thought in a million years that I would be not allowed to visit with my mom in the way that we are all accustomed to while we were alive.  You know...go in, relax on the couch...root through her fridge to see what’s good....those important things that you do at your mom’s house. We are working to keep my mother safe.  I know she is going stir crazy and is super lonely stuck in her house all day by herself.  So I’m doing what I can to make it easier on her.  Lots of phone calls....and an outside and safe distance apart short visit.  You see mammas  just have to see their chickadees face to face once in a while to make sure they are all I gave my mamma that opportunity.  And hopefully it broke up the monotony of her day.   (And yes....later that evening the reality of our current situation and all the stress bubbled to the surface and I sat and cried for a few minutes)

Last but not least....we did our bi weekly grocery shopping.  I can honestly say that it was the first (and second) times that I have EVER had to wait in line to get into a grocery store (any store). 

 Aldi’s was just to get in when they opened.   The organic store was because they were only letting a certain number of people in at a time.   So when someone would leave, they would let the next shopper in.  (I appreciated that kept the store from being overcrowded!!).  I went with my grocery list...which I didn’t call a grocery list.  I  referred to as my wish list.   And I was super lucky....almost everything was found in our normal 2-3 stores that we visit on our grocery days.  However yeast was an issue!  There was none to be had!  I was thinking that pizza crust was not going to happen. (How did I let myself run out of yeast in the first place??). But then we ran into a store for my mom....and I wasn’t even looking for yeast, I had given up!  And low and behold...there it was!  So every item on my ‘wish list’ was purchased.   Yay!  We are stocked for two more weeks of eating.  (Probably a bit more...I usually have like 3 meals or so extra due to leftovers and eating out on occasion)

So the stress ate me alive this past weeks.  My life and our world is in a total upheaval.  There is nothing I can do but hold on tight for this ride!  I have some ideas for my health and fitness for the next weeks and months of this ‘new but temporary norm’. We will get into them in an upcoming posts. In the meantime...I’m just hanging on....and yes...I did gain on the scales.    

Stay safe my friends!


*Stained Glass Butterfly* said...

I couldn't sleep last night for the same reason, stress and worrying. My husband owns his own small company, and all this virus mess means no income for him. If everything closes down, my stepson will have no income either, and I'm not even sure I will. I have some sick leave saved up I can fall back on, but only a few weeks. I keep playing the "what if" game, and different horrible scenarios run through my head. I have no solution for it, but I understand feeling frazzled and worried!

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Shelley said...

My stress/anxiety varies day to day. One of my big coping mechanisms has always been sugar. Right now, I'm not worrying about eating candy (although I am running out!!!) and sweets - when normal life returns, so will normal eating. Be kind to yourself - this IS a really hard time.

Anonymous said...

You’re not alone. Everyone is worried. My faith is what is grounding me. I know we will get through this. Of course we don’t have a choice. Our office is still open. Some businesses are exempt from shelter in place. Not sure exactly how some aren’t. All grocery stores are open & any store that sells grocery (even Dollar Tree). Most restaurants in my area are curbside service. Fast food places drive through are open too. If it makes you feel less alone, I gained this week too. I am going to blame the stress! 🤨

Paula C

peppylady (Dora) said...

It stressful time. But common sense will get us tough this

MaryFran said...

Oh no!!!! I am so sorry to hear that you are stressed and worried about everything also! The only thing we can do is keep our chins up and push forward. You and I are the lucky ones....we have men that we love with all our hearts and who adore us!!! So many people are being quarantined and facing this crisis without that! We have the world at our fingertips! (And I read your posts...I know you are just as lucky as I in regards to that!!).

MaryFran said...

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MaryFran said...

Oh heavens...running out of the candy just adds to that stress!!!!

MaryFran said...

Yes...let’s blame the stress!!

My job is essential (healthcare/pharmaceutical) but luckily they sent me to WFH a few days ago. Now I’m worried because Jason is out of work. And of course for the health of my loved ones!! The stress with this pandemic just keeps coming!!!

MaryFran said...

Very true!!!!!

Cathy said...

I am lucky because I am also considered essential working in the mental health field and can do most of my work at home. Chris was given 2 weeks of paid time off, but who knows what will happen when those two weeks are up and he can't go back to work yet.

My biggest stress has been my Dad. He lives in rural eastern WA where people tend to believe it's a hoax or not any worse than the flu. Thankfully, my sister and I have been able to give him enough information for him to realize that it is very much real, and he hits multiple high risk factors. Also, thankfully I have 2 sisters over there, one that is seeing my dad often to help him with his loneliness and one that is doing most of the grocery shopping for my dad and the sister that sees him.

MaryFran said...

So you are definitely in the same boat that Jason and I are in. He is furloughed until this is over....we filed for unemployment for him. It’s stressful for us! And like you I have a mother that ticks off the list for some of the high risk factors. We have stressed to her the importance of staying home and alone. She however had one friend (this person is younger...probably the age of my brother and I) who has insisted on visiting mom...and wanting to hug her. What??? My brother lives across the street and has a fit every time he sees her arrive! My mom has started to make her stay outside. Mom goes and sits on the porch and makes her sit on the steps! So mom gets it! She gets the precautions that my brother and I are taking with her!

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