Friday, February 07, 2020

Mental war

Happy Friday!  Another week of weight loss efforts is coming to a close and I am excited and nervous to see the numbers on the scales.   I actually held steady and I followed the plan.  I worked this plan!   Yet the mental aspect of this game really got to me this week.  REALLY got to me.


It started with last week this time.  I had my meals and food intake planned for the day.  I was on top of the world.  I was rolling!  And then they arrived at work with Pizza for all of us.  Now there are two things wrong with this picture.  Number one, this pizza arrived at 1PM and came with no warning.  So I had no idea that I would be offered pizza, thus my lunch was already eaten!   Secondly, my points (calories) had already been planned out for the whole day.  Dinner was not something I could easily adjust.    I sat there and I stood firm.  “I am not eating any pizza,”  I boldly declared.  

I was strong.  I was amazing. I was doing this!

And then my coworkers made the comment “Get your pizza and we will share your pieces between us.”   Sounds like a reasonable plan right?  Sure it does!  I thought it was a great plan, except that I know myself.  I know that if it sits on my desk that I would eat it.  Plain and simple.   I knew it.  I was accounting for it.  I was holding strong.  I was on fire!

And then I saw the pizza.  And then I smelled it!   I decided to have one little piece.  That wouldn’t throw me too far over my points right?   But then the old fat voice in my head started screaming, “get a second piece”   and before I knew it, I had two pieces of pizza in my stomach!  Oh yeah, I ate two pieces of pizza!


I went WAY OVER my points for the day.  Sure, I have the weekly points that I used (and I used more than half of them with that pizza).   BUT, let me tell you this, the rest of the weekend I was there and I was watching close what I ate.  I didn’t want to blow it and the pizza put me behind the eight ball and I didn’t like it.  

So with that story out in the open, my mind started to play HORRIBLE tricks on me.  Oh those voices and conversations in my head (I swear I’m normal and I don’t hear voices) were really vicious this week. “Maryfran, the 4 pound loss was a fluke….you are going to gain this week….all because of that pizza!”   and “Why bother trying, that pizza already messed you up!”  Ohhhh it was tough.  I wanted to dive head first into a vat of chips and cheese!  I wanted to gobble up everything in sight!   But at the same time I was also hearing the calm reasoning voice telling me that “two piece of pizza at the very beginning of your weigh in week are not going to derail you….stay strong.”  


Mental wars!  Let me tell you….they are REAL in this weight loss journey!.

1 comment:

Bathwater said...

I tend to exclude myself from these types of work gatherings if I do not want to over eat. It seems anti-social to some people but I can proudly say I am at my ideal weight and have been for six months or so. Few others in the office can say that. Those who can maintain similar routines.