Sunday, July 26, 2015

Just Do It

I have reached the end of my rope.   I had a great week. I got to spend time with the guy I'm seeing.  I got to go to Hershey Park with my family.  I got to hang out and watch movies.  I got to go out with my friend Paula.  A good week.  But I have reached the end of my rope.

I have gone to Hershey park over the years.  I had gone years ago with my friend Julie and Todd.   I struggled because with my weight I struggled with riding some of the rides.  NOT because I didn't want to ride them.  NOT because I don't like to ride them.   BUt because my weight made riding the rides difficult.  The constraints that keep the riders safe are difficult for an overweight person.    A few years later, when I was right around my lowest weight, we went back again and it was FANTASTIC.  There was no fear there was no struggle, it was just good plain fun!    I went back this past week.   It was a great fun day.  But it was rough..   As we waited in lines for the rides I worried.   I stood there in fear that I would get to the front of the ride and they would go to check my restraints and/or put me in the restraints and I wouldn't fit and I would have to do the walk of shame because I couldn't ride.  However, the restraints were so tight that I couldn't take a full deep breath.  I wasn't in any danger at all, I could breath just fine, but I couldn't get a full lung of air.  Not a biggie, but eye opening.     I did fit...each and every time. Yet the fear persisted each time I rode a ride.     I  didn't notice the next issue until just today.   I had noticed a bruise but didn't pay attention until today when I actually got a good look at myself without a shirt in the mirror. BOTH of my shoulders bear bruises where the restraints went across my shoulders.  Yes, the shoulder harnesses had to be pushed down until they clicked and I was THAT close that I bruised.    I am NOT doing this again.  I want to ride and enjoy and not have to worry about my fatness.    This has GOT to change.

My second wake up call?   I went out and lounged in the pool today.  I was on a float and fell asleep.   I apparently was out there for an hour and a half and my thighs ended up a bit burnt.  My fat gut overlaps my thighs.....yes, I have a tan line from the overhang of my gut.  HOW WRONG IS THAT????????

I did not run on Thursday or Friday.  But I did get a run in on both Saturday and Sunday.   Running is still rough, but I am pushing through!


Sara said...

Cheering you on as you move forward!

Shelley said...

Sounds like you've hit your limit with putting up with being overweight. Onward, downward, and here's to the next visit to Hershey park being a lot more relaxed!

finding lori said...

Sometimes we need those wake up calls to fully admit to something we really already knew. I love wake up calls.....they push you and motivate are ready!!

Darcy Winters said...

I haven't been to an amusement park in years, but when I was taking flying lessons there was one plane that had a short seatbelt harness. I always dreaded ending up with that plane because I was never certain whether the seatbelt was going to fit. The idea of having to ask for a seatbelt extension use to cause a load of anxiety, so I know exactly how you were feeling.

Alati said...

Let that call be what keeps pushing and motivating you from now on! You can do it!

Lori said...

Good for you for using those things as motivation to improve. You've got this.