Tuesday, January 28, 2014

A tidal wave

I held it together on Friday.  I knew that the weight on the scales was only one day and since I weigh everyday, I know that my 'official' weigh in for the week was skewed.   That's the way of life and I was ok with it.

Saturday dawned and I had a quick breakfast and headed out.  I had some errands and I planned to spend the day with my family. For some stupid reason, I didn't drink anything with breakfast.....nor did I fill up my water jug to take to town with me.  Why?  I have no earthly clue.  I ate lunch at my mom and dad's house (I raided their fridge and ate leftovers!) and after I was done eating had the fleeting thought of "I didn't get anything to drink."   I should have stopped right then and there and gotten something, but I wasn't bothered and didn't feel thirsty.  An hour or two later I was at my brothers house and they offered me a drink.  I answered "I'm fine not thirsty"   Because I was fine...I wasn't thirsty..even though it as 4PM and I hadn't had even one sip to drink all day.  What was up with that??   I did drink a few glasses of crystal light (berry pomegranite flavor) that evening.  But seriously?  What was I thinking??????

Sunday....ahhh lovely Sunday.  I had planned on staying home all day to work on a project that is currently on my plate.  (well, I was going to walk but my walking partner has strep throat.....no thank you..keep your germs to yourself!)  I worked on my computer with the tv playing.  My mind wandered while I worked and I found myself depressed and crying.  Life just overwhelmed me.  Nothing more to say than that.    However, I will have to go on and say that I ate.  I cried and those tears were like a tidal wave that just carried me to the kitchen over and over again.  It wasn't as bad as previous years...but I ate too much.  And worse...I just stopped tracking it.....

The eating didn't fix anything.  It just made me kick myself and feel like a bigger loser after it was all said and done.  So I guess I can honestly say that the eating made things worse!   Lesson learned.  However, this is truly and addiction, so I know that I will fight this urge over and over again in my lifetime.

Monday dawned and I awoke with the same life problems....but I was determined to not allow it to rule my eating.  I made my plan, packed my lunch and I'm proud to say that I stuck with it!   I will be totally honest and say that at about 4PM I was HUNGRY (or so I thought) and I went to raid the food cabinet at work.  There was some old popcorn there....not worth it.  There was some candy and I actually was ready to lift the piece of candy out of the open box when I came to my senses and realized that a piece of candy was NOT what I wanted!  So I can say that I stuck with the plan 100% yesterday.  Victory!

Furthermore, I made it to zumba last night.  Dang, it was cold leaving the class while I was all hot and sweaty!!!!  Worth it though......I needed to pound my feet and get a good workout!  Good for the mind, body and soul!

I've got my plans made for today.  Foodwise I'm planned out and another bout of zumba tonight!!!!  I've got this!  One day at a time!

And my pictures for the last few days!


Riley's soccer game on Sunday
Sunday...lazy day on the couch with the cats!

Monday and on the way to work...BRRR


Jessica said...

Always one day at a time.

And YES!!! I have been freezing after my workouts :)

Mrs Swan said...

I hope that your feeling better now.

timothy said...

I too battled with depression this week and all I can say is hang in this too shall pass!

Kyra said...

I'm sorry you had a rough patch there. *hugs*