Thursday, April 28, 2011

Wanna know what really blows????

Do you ever just have a day where you are devoid of all words?  Lacking anything to say? I'm having one of those.  I just sat here with my head flopped forward, my forehead pressed against my hands (holding my head up) and literally nothing came to mind.  I have nothing to say about weight loss.  Well, I do have SOMETHING to say about weight loss........ IT SUCKS.  It sucks to have to think about food all the time. It sucks to have a piece of brownie (yes, I only had one piece last night) for a treat at night and then worry about the affects that it will have.  To feel guilty for one brownie. (ohhhh it was a good one though.....gooey and chocolaty!).  It really blows to have to think about my food choices constantly.  To gather up my will power (or try to) with every bite I eat.  Honestly, it just sucks!  Everything about it sucks sucks sucks.

You know what sucks worse though?????   Being fat.  So as much as it sucks to fight and battle to lose weight....I will because fat is worse.


Random thoughts for the day that were floating through my mind during my head in hands no thoughts time earlier.....

*there is a weird odor in my house...not sure what it is.....I've looked and can't find do you trace a weird odor. It's not a foul's just weird. 

*bad storm last night....I've heard predictions that this year will be a bad year for storms

*I'm starting to look at some ideas and opportunities to make money...even if it's only a few bucks here and there......crafts, piano lessons (practicing to get myself up to snuff with my playing), possibly another idea that I'm not up for sharing quite yet.

*I've been focusing on a new venture with Echoes...researching and such ....that Todd and I are expanding into with the business.  Echotone Records.  A new record label.   OUR record label.  We have a possibility for a GREAT band to sign with us....and this band was actually number one on their charts last with them in negotiations with us to get signed with us...we are kicking into overdrive to get our record label up and running.

*Trying to fight the dull drums that threaten me.  I still really  miss Chris.....I can't believe it's been a month (actually a month and a week) since he passed away.   My problems still seem insurmountable and I sometimes wonder why I should even try.   I'm still really worried about a lot of things....and it threatens me daily...but I"m trying ...I'll keep fighting.


bbubblyb said...

One foot in front of the other thats the best plan. You'll get to where you want to be just keep moving forward.

timothy said...

just keep moving forward hon, there's no going back. you've worked too hard and done to well to fail now! i know it gets frustrating but just believe it and be it!

Patrick said...

Being fat sucks indeed. Gonna give being fit a try.

Sarah said...

The odor in your house -- possible culprits:

~the disposal
~the dishwasher
~leaking faucet somewhere
~stray piece of food
~pet accident
~garbage can
~washing machine
~water line to water dispenser on fridge

My husband and I went through this a few months ago -- that's why I know some places to look. In the end, it was the dishwasher. We don't use it much, and the water between the dishwasher and disposal was stinkin. It just needed to be ran.

Tammy said...

I totally agree that having to think about every bit of food we put into our mouths sucks BIG TIME. I hate it. Just want to be able to enjoy food again...without thinking about calories, carbs, fat, etc. etc. I know that will never happen...but it would be nice.