Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Feeling REALLY blue and depressed

I'm totally down and depressed. Why you may ask? My weight. It's just creeping up for apparently no reason. I was up about a pound and a half today!!! Yeah, I had a sliver of low fat cheesecake last night...I had the points for it! I guess what makes it worse is that the last two days I've made some difficult food decisions and WON the battle with them. The two major things that I'm talking about are the salad when we went out on Sunday versus the heavenly looking and smelling burger and then having a taco salad with minimal bad stuff last night instead of the taco's that I would have preferred. Don't get me wrong, I've actually been satisfied with my decision when I've eaten those meals. And I would have said that they were a worthwhile sacrifice. Will I say that it would have been my first choice? NO, but I was ok with it. SOOOOOO to see my weight go up each day has just been totally demoralizing. I'm up just about 2 1/2 pounds! That does not make me feel as if those sacrifices were worth it at all. I'm just bummed out about it all!

Oh yeah, and then the mower saga...that continues. Last week, it was supposed to be resolved. The check should have been her by tomorrow. Yeah, I wasn't totally happy with the resolution..but at least it was going to be over. OHHHH no....they called me yesterday...the check is on hold. Today when I was finally able to get a hold of them she said that she wanted to work on something different. HELLO! Yeah,I'd like it resolved so that I'm not being screwed out of $400 bucks (the difference in the total price of what I paid for the mower and package.....versus what they want to return to me)...but at this point I just want it to be over. I'm tired of dealing with these people! When I got off the phone this morning, I'll admit that I just wanted to cry. I tried to hold it together, but I'll admit that I let a few tears of frustration and encroaching depression escape.

Other than that....my day is fair to middlin'. Todd and I went for a walk over on the battlefield early this morning before the heat hit. We are planning on touring a different gym tomorrow...one that is closer to our house.....AND $21 cheaper. It doesn't have all the amenities that ours does...so we'll have to see. Personally I'm to the point of saying that we don't use our gym much because it's out of the way....lets save money and be closer to home to boot..because that would probably make us more likely to use it! We'll have to see. At least we are looking into it. That's more than I got when I first broached this subject a few months back. Also on the docket for tomorrow is mowing my parents place. I'm hoping that the weather will be nice so that we can head out with our bikes and get a nice ride in somewhere. We are talking about driving up to Cumberland and finishing up the last section of the canal that we've never ridden up there. Speaking of the canal. Todd and I would eventually like to bike the whole canal continuously. IN the meantime we are working at biking it piecemeal...one bit at a time. From Roughly Dickerson west on the C&O canal, we have biked it all except for some stupid 10 mile stretch at Cumberland. SO we may try to finish that tomorrow. Who knows.


Donna B said...

Thinking goo thoughts for you. Could your up & downs with the weight loss be due to your sodium intake with the Taco salad? I know weighing is a personal thing, but I decided it was toos tressful to weight everyday. My "weigh in day" that counts is Sunday, and I check in on Wednesdays to see how it is going mid week. I also started planning my higher sodium meals early in the week to make sure we shed that weight that seems to creep on us from high sodium meals. Keep up the good work! Youa re doing GREAT!

Michelle said...

All I can think of to say is, these things happen. And they do, to all of us on this journey. The secret to success is how you handle them. Keep doing what you're doing, it does work. Lots of things effect your weight and when you think of 2.5 pounds as a percentage of your overall weight it's really a miniscule change. Don't put too much into it in the short term. Maybe daily weighing is too much right now and you could go to weekly for a couple weeks. Just to give yourself a break from the stress of the scale.

Please remember, the scale only tells part of the story. The scale doesn't applaud you for going on your walk, for getting in your bike rides, for making healthier choices at mealtime.

And you CAN have that cheesecake. Don't set up the scale to be a punishment for that cheesecake please. You have to have treats now and then or you'll fall off the wagon altogether. Like I said before, step back, look at the long term progress. Weather this storm. I know you can do it!!

And never forget how awesome you are!!

Anonymous said...

Also remember, red meat sticks with you a couple days. It takes that long to digest. That could be what's affecting the scale.

AND definitely go to the closer gym. I am speaking from experience! The farther the drive, the less liekly I am to make it there! Its hard enough to motivate yourself to get moving. Convenience is the key!

Deborah said...

I know how you feel about eating sensibly and seeing a gain. Been there done that. And the depression as well. Just hang in there and keep doing the right things and it will eventually show. (or that's what I'm told since mine has been stalled for 2 months)

The biking sounds like lots of fun. Sure wish I could join you.