Sunday, February 23, 2014

One Size Fits All

I'm still quite a ways away from reaching my goal weight again.  Way too may pounds for my liking, but that's what it is.   Today however the thought about "what makes the 'end' so difficult for us.  Why is it so difficult to push through those last pounds and reach our goals.

The first and trite answer is that when we are losing weight we have this wonderful neon sign that is blinking in front of us.  The sign is clearly blinking "Goal weight......Goal weight.....goal weight....goal weight"   It is is out there.  The focus is on the sign and we that are on this journey just keep pushing forward toward the goal.  The sign moves closer and closer (and sadly, some weeks it moves further away again).  The problem is that as the sign moves closer toward us the uncertainty starts to crowd in.  You see, what comes after that sign.  What happens when we pass that sign?    It is a great big black chasm.  The great big sign (the goal) is behind us and for so long we have focused on losing that now we are left with no goal.  Oh yes, we have the 'goal' of maintaining....but that's not a big neon sign that is beckoning us forward.  It is a scary prospect and it's one that can deter us and cause us concern.  That can derail. us.  Fear is natural..but fear is debilitating when it comes to our weight loss efforts.

The second answer is much more complicated and it's so much more difficult to admit and actually put down on paper.    But here goes.......  Fat is a safety net.  Fat is the greatest excuse as to why I fail.  It's easier to be fat and have this 'Well I'm fat' excuse up my sleeve.   Seriously, when you are overweight...grossly overweight and you cut a run short and make a comment saying "I'm disappointed with myself...I only ran a 1/2 mile or even a mile today"  it's easy for people and myself included to simply say "well seriously....the fact that you can run even that much is awesome!"   You see....the fat is a wonderful safety's my excuse for everything. So when I start to get closer to my goal I start to become fearful...because holy cow....when I lose the weight I also lose that one size fits all excuse!  Now THAT is scary!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to bring my focus back on that elusive goal.  I enjoyed some nice weather this weekend.  It just made me REALLY long for summer!!!!!!!!!   Hopefully the weather will remain where it's at and not dip down into the 'God Awful' temperatures again.  And hopefully we have experienced our last flakes of snow for the year too!!!!  I'm done with it!  :-)  If that is the case...I don't have the weather excuse. (Cuz you know.....when you are fat and fall on ice it hurts worse!!!  ha ha ha ha)


Anonymous said...

You have brought up very good points here. I feel like that's why I gained so much weight because I felt too safe with my lifestyle and kept telling myself, oh I'll be okay! Keep on striving on, girl! I believe in you!

And btw, I nominated you for a Liebster Award! Check it out and do it when you have time :)

timothy said...

yes I have thought/blogged this before too. what if fat isn't the reason I don't have a relationship, the perfect job, a superstar life, fun, etc etc what if I'm just a loser no matter what size I am. the fear of success can be as paralyzing as any other fear but it's horrid and insidious cause it sneaks up on you and bites you in the ass before you realize what's happening and you've put 30 pounds back on. security "blankets" sure are "bulky" UGH!

Kyra said...

The mental side that ties us up is such a pain, isn't it? I also found reaching goal was scary, because you realize that everything isn't perfect. Life didn't magically turn into something amazing, if you didn't make any steps to change or grow into something new in the meantime.

Leslie said...

I have thought about all this as well. I just keep telling myself that regardless I want to see what it is at the finish line, but honestly I really don't know what the finish line is. I just want to make as many healthy changes as possible. Your doing great! And I so love reading your posts. I relate to them so much.