Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Lessons and reinforcement

This past weekend I had to confront my slow running pace.  I know I'm slow as a turtle in peanut butter.  I accept that.  However I obsess about it!   I worry about it and I downplay my running because of it.   

This past weekend I had to confront the very real possibility that out of the 68 participants in this small 10k that I could very well be last.  I won't lie.  Part of me wanted to walk away and not even try.   I didn't!   I decided to run this and if I came in last across that line I would cross it victorius!!!     Victorious in the fact that this former 315 pound girl could actually run (jog?) for 6.2 continuous miles!  I'm doing it and not many people can!!!

I faced my fear and I won!    

And then on Monday I got another reaffirmation.   Early this year I decided to participate in a running challenge.  I agreed and committed to run a virtual 5k each month.  The organizer has drawings each month from finishers.  I didn't do it for that though.  I did it for the challenge!   There was one month where I had to sit back and walk my 5k.  I felt like a loser.  I had wanted to run it and it just wasn't happening.   I have run every other month though.  Ironically enough the month that I walked it...my slowest 5k of this challenge I won the drawing.   I even made a comment to the organizer about how I felt guilty because I didn't even run it.  She immediately wrote back that it didn't matter how fast or how slow I did it in, I DID it.   She and I talked a bit about my prize...a hand painted mini canvas.  I got to chose the subject.  I saw it on fb while she was working on it, But it didn't arrive until yesterday.  How perfect after my struggle this past weekend.   Thank you!!!!   I'm on my phone writing this so I can't post an actual link to her page but here is her address!!!   http://thefitadventure.blogspot.com

This painting will be my reminder that as long as I'm doing my best I am a winner.

And of course a picture of my painting!!!  I put a grape beside them to show  how adorably tiny this is...and so you can appreciate the details in the painting!!   

Thank you Kyra for hosting this challenge and for having a part of my awakening!!!  :-)

I forgot to announce my progress.   I had vowed to lose 10 pounds before my 10k (5 weeks).    I lost 5 pounds.   Not what I vowed but victorious none-the-less!!!

I am still consumed with thoughts about stuff that's happening in my life.   I know that I have some major decisions to make in my life.  I know it.   I know that I have to make changes.  I'm just waiting for some kind of divine intervention (hahahaha) to direct me upon the path I need to take.  I pray for courage, knowledge and direction to make a course correction in my life. 

And I will leave you with a picture of Paula and I running on Sunday.  Maybe it was the lucky green underwear she was wearing that got us through this race in fine form!!!  She's smiling I look utterly focused and intense!!!!  (Green underwear I tell ya!!).  This was at about mile 4.5 in the run.  And yes, my legs do look fantastic if I do say so myself!!!


Melissa said...

Your legs DO look fantastic!

Alati said...

That's the cutest painting ! I will keep you in my prayers :)

Unknown said...

I can so relate to what you said about knowing you need to make decisions in your life and waiting for divine intervention. I know you will find your way :)

Suzanne said...

Pace is irrelevent, a mile is a mile no matter how long it takes and YOU are a RUNNER! I think your doing awesome!

Lori said...

Take it from me, pace is irrelevant. Progress is what matters.

Sonya @ Finding Drew said...

When I was running I always feared id be last too.... And I was once. It's not the end of the world. The main thing is you did it. Keep going! You are doing awesome and yes your legs look amazing ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm with Suzanne...you ARE a runner. And you finished!!!

Kyra said...

:) You ARE a runner! And hey, I'm the organizer, and I knocked myself out of several of the 5k's because of sprained ankles and such - you're doing FAR better than me!

Tricia Coniglio said...

Congrats on losing 5 of the 10 lbs even tho 10 is what you were going for.

Lucky green underwear?! LOL I am always the one who remembers to smile when the camera is pointed my way - just in case. Then I look like a cheese ball if no pic is taken. Otherwise I have a dreary straight face.

Laura said...

You know what they say, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Congratulations on your progress!

LuckyMama said...

Where are you?!?!?! It's been a week since you posted.