Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fear and a lesson learned

I've learned a valuable lesson. My normal eating habits are to eat light for breakfast....mostly fruits and veggies for lunch and then a normal meal. I'm satisfied (fruits and veggies are low cal/points...but I eat a lot of them) and I feel like I still get to eat normally. It works for me. When I started Zumba, I would pack a pb&j sandwich or some snack to eat on the way up the road to the class. Last week I didn't. Midway through the class...BOTH days, My stomach started to hurt. I pushed the discomfort aside and just pushed through. Both days, I drove home and my met my husband there.....he had already finished preparing dinner and it was on the table waiting for me. I remember one night I actually wondered how I was going to eat, as my stomach was bothering me. But I ate...and miraculously, the stomach ache went away. Could it be?? NOOOOO. So last night, at zumba...the same thing happened. I faced the music.....I don't want to say I was starving myself (no possible since I HAD eaten lunch)....but my body needed something more before a good workout. I pushed through the workout.....noticing that on songs that I really like, where I get lost in the choreography and moves, my stomach didn't hurt...but that on songs that I'm not overly fond mind wandered and my stomach hurt. I had to run to Target after work...I ran in and I was hit with the smell of popcorn! I quickly did my stomach just in knots with discomfort. I decided to take a chance. (thinking that it really was hunger.....and not a 'real' bellyache). On the way out of the store, I stoppped into the snack bar area. I grabbed a turkey and cheese sandwich and yes, the popcorn also. No, I dind't have the points for both of them (one...not both). But I dind't care. I ate some popcorn on the way to the car. The first couple bites caused my stomach to hurt worse....but soon, blessed relief. I ate the popcorn and the sandwich on the way home. Sooooo, the lesson of the something right before Zumba. And no.....I've NEVER been able to tell when I'm 'hungry'. My body has never received those signals taht say I'm hungry or satisfied. I bypass those stages and go right to 'pain'. And that's with feeling hungry and feeling full!

Fear.....fear holds me back in so many ways within my life. I'm often afraid to try new things becuase of fear. I hesitate to put myself out there...because of fear. It's fear of the unknown. Fear of making a fool of myself. Fear fear fear. I don't like living my life this way. I'm TRYING to step out of my comfort zone and confront those fears head on. In April or May, I finally took a friends advice and tried Zumba. I swallowed my fear. I had never taken an exercise class before because of.....FEAR. Fear of looking foolish. Fear of doing something stupid. Fear of trying something new. Fear of doing it all alone. I went to my first class.....a scared little bunny. (scared fat bunny?) And you know what??? I found out that I really liked it. It wasn't scary. It wasn't bad. Yeah, I looked silly, but everyone does at one point or another. I faced my fears and went to the zumba-thon thing by myself...and had fun AND got in a great 3 hour workout! I was scared....I had to do something by myself. FEAR. I was afraid to ride in my first bike event...and found I liked that a lot also! And yes, I'm fearful of running a 5K.....the actual running, the actual event....everything. But I'm going to push myself out of my comfort zone and do it.....I don't want to live in fear anymore....and even if I am fearful....I don't want to allow it to rule my life anymore!

That said....I'm having a difficult time finding information about the turkey trot. I thought I saw the info for this years (the 10th annual) but yesterday when I looked online, I saw nothing about this year. I hope they are doing it...and if not...I'll find another one to worries about that!


Allan said...

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”

F. McButter Pants said...

FEAR. It is my arch enemy! I feel exactly the way you do. I feel it holds me back more then any other thing. I like the above quote.

Way to push past your comfort zone. Thanks for the example!

bbubblyb said...

Think that's it MaryFran. I would love to do it with ya but we always go to Kentucky for Thanksgiving. If you decide to do some other one let me know maybe we could do it together. Also, even if you walk one it's still doing it *smile*.

I too live my life in fear often. It's tough to over come but the more you push yourself the easier it gets. *hugs*

MaryFran said...

I have been looking at the one in Frederick as a substitute for the Hagerstown turkey trot if HCC doesn't do it this year. :-)

Let me get trained....and I would LOVE to do one with you!!!!!!! I'll be keeping that in mind!!!