Friday, April 10, 2009

closet eater

Weight dropped this morning. I'm slowly recouping the gain that I had after our anniversary celebration.

Yesterday I was talking to my boss and I admited that when todd is not home in the evenings I struggle. WHY? Becuase I'm a closet eater. When he's at home I"m not tempted to eat 'extras'. But when he is not there, I am extremely tempted to eat. I think I'll get a cracker and instead of one cracker I eat fistfuls of crackers and I put peanut butter or some other topping on them. If he's home, I'll eat one.....which is good. But it bears looking at...why do I lose control when he's not there. Yeah yeah, the closet eater syndrome. But, I'm proud to say that last night I didn't mess up. Yeah, I had my dessert and I used each and every point that I had left (and one flex/ap point). But I didn't just eat and eat and eat for the sake of eating. That's not saying that I didn't want to. But I managed to control that urge.

I've found that this eating thing is more difficult at our current house. It is an open floor the kitchen is open to the living room. SO I can be in here and see the kitchen...and the power of suggestion is a huge huge huge temptation for me. At our old place, the kitchen was in a on it's own. (bad because I hated to cook in it because I was off by myself.) But it was good becuase when I was on my computer the kitchen was literally two rooms away. If I was in the living room, I could see the regular sized door leading to the kitchen...but I couldn't actually see the kitchen. I couldn't actually see the bread on the counter (which sparks me to think about toast.....which in turn leads me to want toast!). The power of suggestion was not there staring me in the face!

SOOOO a new phase and a new lesson to learn as I progress along this journey!


Teresa said...

Power of suggestion is tough. I can talk myself right into some food. I wonder why it is so hard to control sometimes.

--cara said...

Boy, it's so easy to "lose control" and eat whatever you want when no one is around, right? "No on will know." Right? I have been there a million times. Eating an extra meal between the drive thru and home (to eat dinner with the family). Getting so excited whenever I would have lunch at home by myself so I could stop by the store on the way home and pick up HUGE amounts of junky food to gorge on then toss & hide any evidence. It's so easy to eat whatever you want (or rather whatever you CAN) when know one is around to know about it.

But know know, now I get such a high whenever I can NOT do that. I feel so strong and empowered when I can eat alone and eat healthy. I get so proud of myself. Like I've just finished 1st place in a huge contest or something.

I'm still ALWAYS tempted, though. I don't know if that will ever go away.

VRaz60 said...

They say we eat with our eyes first. So if we "see it" we want to "eat it". Out of sight out of mind isn't always true for me. Just knowing that something I really want lurks behind the pantry doors will sometimes make me crazy. Congrats on avoiding the temptation, I know it's not easy.

Being weak willed is what got me into this shape, now I've got to get my butt in gear to change my habits. We CAN do this. Right?

Linda said...

That is tough - that eating thing. I'm sure you'll discover the why of it eventually.

Just try to always "be present" when it comes to food. I stopped doing that and see the negative effects.

I'm present again, now!

Anonymous said...

I totally feel your pain. My condo is a the kitchen is in every room. LOL, there's no escape!

JC said...

Good thing you have someone. If you were alone you would really have to get a handle on it. I know I struggle at night, bore and alone so I go visiting in Blogland. Have a Happy Easter.

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