Rockin’ the first week of the year!

The first week of January is just about over, and the first weekend of the year is in the books.   We have had a pretty good start...thus far!

I am doing really well with tracking my food and while my goal is NOT to worry about my calories (this month at least)...I am finding that since I am tracking I am more open and apt to keeping my calories beneath a set level.   Unofficially I am working to stay between 1200 calories and 1500 calories.  Why that range?  1200 has always been the ‘magical’ figure that is used in weight loss as the lowest to go and that would theoretically give me a two pound loss each week.   1500 calories is theoretically causing a deficit that would allow me to lose one pound a week.  That is still a nice loss.  (Yes, I unashamedly admit that I would like the faster loss...but I also know that I want this to work and be a forever deal.....1200 calories is very restrictive and will eventually cause me to stumble.  1500 calories is more doable!). So I have been staying within my range...admittedly at the higher end on many days....but I’m there!!!

We had a quiet weekend.  Saturday started with me meeting a friend for breakfast. Of course I sent Jason a selfie and some texts whilst out with her!!! (Waiting for her to arrive.)

After breakfast she and I walked through target. (I needed a new band for my Fitbit!). I saw this journal...and I was so tempted to get it....but I knew I wouldn’t use it....it wasn’t blank inside..it was preprinted for fitness and would be redundant with me posting here!  But still I was tempted...the $17.99 price tag deterred me!

After my breakfast outing, (food tracked of course) Jason and I ran some errands and we went to a local park to allow him to fly his drone.   It was a quiet and relaxing day.

 On Saturday...more of the same.  I however started my day by sleeping on the couch for an hour or two in the morning.  We ran into a few stores (For me, dollhouse supplies to make a new crib for the nursery!) We also hit  up a local trail and hiked for a while.  It was short but hey...I’ve been sick and still not completely well!  

It was a muddy hike (the trail was a muddy mess...bad enough to sink 2-3 inches in some places and for my foot to get stuck once!).  

After our hike, we gassed up my car for the work week ahead of us and headed to the park for our drone flying time!  It was windy so the batteries ran down pretty quick!!!  Booo!  But it was still fun!

We spent the evening planning and plotting our vacation this year.   The more it’s planned and ‘definite’ the more motivated I will be to get into shape. 

The new week is upon me...and so far I am rocking this new year!   I just need to get rid of this congestion and I’ll be on fire!!!!!

New Year Equals New Plans

Welcome to the new year! 

2018 ended with a bang sneeze for me.   Yes, I have been sick for what seems like weeks..  We were struggling with something in mid December and it finally came to a head and I have been sick as a dog for the last few days.  I think I have turned the corner and today felt mostly human.  So it's finally time to talk about the plans for the new year!

I am not setting any resolutions.  It's as simple as that!   A year is a long time.  People make goals for the year but then stumble and give up.  So I'm not setting any yearly goals.  That doesn't mean I don't have plans for 2019 though!bb I AM going to work to try to live a healthier lifestyle.  Yes, ultimately I would like to weight less....but my only thoughts for the new year is one of health!

That said....I DO have monthly goals for January!

1.  Track every bite of food
2.  Put money into my savings
3.  Weight less than I do now!  I don't care if it's a measly ounce...I want to weigh less!
4.  Do something active (a walk suffices) at least 3 times a week.

So day one is over.

I tracked.  I also DID get out and walk.  I got more steps yesterday then I have gotten in AGES!  We didn't want to do anything stenuous.  So we ended up going to a HUGE graveyard and walking!   It was just what we needed.  I got over 5 miles of walking in.  So I'm happy.  But after being sick for so long the activity really kicked me in the behind!  (Seriously...WEEKS....and about a month before that I was having a tightness in my chest that alerted me to the oncoming onslaught of illness).  Enjoy the pictures from our walk through the graveyard.

Chapel

Confederate Graves

Neat moss growing on a bench

A perfectly shaped tree

So here I am heading into day two.  The first day is always easy......so now is when it starts to get hard!!!!!  I can roll through January successful and reach my goals....and that will only build to my year of health!

Failure at it’s Best

I want to just erase this past week from the books!  Can we? Huh?  Please?   It had been a week of failure on a few different healthy living fronts!  Eating was a failure!  Exercise was a failure!  It was just...well two steps forward, two steps back!   So let’s figure out went went wrong!

Failure Number One

My eating!  As aforementioned on this site, I had my mother’s filled cookies that she makes one time a year...especially for my birthday. (She calls them a labor of love because they are fine intensive). I ate a LOT of cookies!  It’s a once a year thing....but I still ate a lot of cookies!  Otherwise I didn’t eat too poorly...but did I mention I ate cookies...2-3 for breakfast...with a banana.   2-3 For lunch....with my regular lunch.  One or two as a snack when I got home from work.  Oh and I ate 4-5 each night after my normal dinner.   Maybe a dozen cookies a day. That’s a lot of cookies (they are gone. I got them on Monday afternoon and by Wednesday night they were mostly gone...I had two on Thursday to end this years cookie fest).  I ate so many cookies that on Thursday morning I was feeling icky and stuffed and just not well.  Don’t worry...I still finished up those two cookies that were left!   And since there was no sweets left...I STUPIDLY made brownies.   I was stuffed and feeling icky while I was eating dinner...yet I continued to shovel the food into my mouth...and I of course couldn’t pass on the brownies!!!   Why???  So here I am on Friday morning super early, once again feeling icky...stuffed and half sick!   I swore after New Year’s Day when I ate so much I was physically sick, that I wasn’t doing this again....yet here I am??

As a side note. I finally got the recipe for the cookies this year...which could be a bad thing...because if I can make them then I have the chance for the deliciousness all the time.  BUT I am looking at it this way.  If I make them...and know I can make them myself....it will take away the utter frenzy of eating them when I get them.   Mom’s will always taste sweeter and better...but I won’t be as crazed.  That’s my theory anyway...and I don’t plan on making them anytime soon!!!!

Failure Number Two

Exercise.  I was doing so good with waking up early to exercise for almost two months.  Last week my schedule changed.  I go in a half hour earlier......I just can’t force myself to wake up even earlier...5 to 5:30 is early enough in my book!  I do make it home a half hour earlier now.  I swore that I would start running again during that half hour.  It just has not happened!  It’s hard when Jason is already home to kiss him hello, change my clothes and walk back out the door...even when I know it is only for a half hour!   When he isn’t home yet, it is too tempting to start making dinner, cold the laundry, etc.  so I have been a colossal failure in the exercise front!  Next week maybe I’ll nail this on!!!

And yes...I laid out my running clothes early this week...ready to hop into them after work.  I figured have them out and ready and it would make it easier to switch gears and get out there!  Well, the whole week had passed and they are still laying on the trunk nice and clean and ready for use.

Another failure!! Big time!!!

Failure Number Three

Everything...this change in hours while seemingly small is really throwing me for a loop.  I’m tired (ok maybe that’s also because I’m in training at work..).  I’m sluggish.  I’m not getting things done.  I feel like I’m falling behind (blog reading...blog writing for example).  Grrrrr

Failure Number Four

My weight.  It’s up.  It’s also the monthly ick, it has arrived...and my weight usually goes up when that happens.  But I can’t  honestly blame it all on the monthly ick.  Seriously...lots of cookies. (That I did share with Jason!). My weight as of yesterday is back to my high of this year.  I lost weight steadily from May to September...and I have slowly regained that weight back.   Grrrr!   Well....almost...maybe a pound lower.   But still!!!!!!!  I did it to myself, but it is still super frustrating!!!

So lots of failures to report this week!  I’m ashamed to write this post.  But it’s how this journey is.  I just lost a battle in the war..  But I haven’t waved the white flag of surrender just yet for the war itself.   I retreated and I’m immediately going back on the attack.  The next battle is upcoming!!!  Part of a war is losing some battles and winning others. Most wars are not won without some losses. But to win the war we must pick ourselves up, reevaluate and head into the next battle stronger and smarter.   That is just what I am doing. I know where some of my mistakes happened. (Eg Not packing a lunch yesterday because I felt icky...then eating junk food at work because I got hungry...and snacks at home because I was still hungry) I can correct those mistakes and move on stronger and smarter...and I will win the next battle!!!  I’m determined!!

I leave you with my work in progress.....the living room of my one dollhouse.

Derailment: knocked off the exercise path

I swear!  Every time I get myself in line something happens to detail me!!!  I did so good last week!  I tracked my food intake.  I woke up early and exercised each morning!  I was hotonthe trail of health!!!  Ok, so I may not have posted a loss on the scales...but I had a maintain and I felt like I was FINALLY back in the right path....and then bammm.....derailed!

By the end of my typical work week I am always exhausted.  So on Friday afternoon when the exhaustion hit I wasn’t too concerned.  I did wonder a bit about the fact that I was crying on my drive home...crying because I was so darn tired!  But I got home and settled in and my tears were gone so I forgot about them.   

On Saturday I took it easy...I just felt ‘off’ but I felt fine.  

But on Sunday it hit! I slept most of the morning....I slept a couple hours in  afternoon.  I felt like I had been drug through the mud.   I’m pretty sure I was running a fever.  I just tried to give my body what it was demanding.

In talking it over, I decided to turn off the early ‘exercise alarm’ for Monday morning.. It just didn’t seem wise to push myself!   So my good habit that I was in the process of building is being put on hold.   There is NOT relief, surprisingly enough.   I’m actually more upset to delay my quest for fitness.

I did stumble around and get my dumbbells ready to add that into my morning workout routine!  

Meanwhile...my baby girl had to go into the bike shop, she wasn’t sick....she was getting an upgrade though.  My one tire was not holding air.  Instead of buying a tube and fixing it, Jason has given me one of my Christmas gifts early...my girl is going tubeless for her tires.  I should get her tonight!!!  I don’t like my pretty girl not being in the bike bedroom!

So a temporary delay in my quest for fitness...but I vow to only let this be temporary....I will not be totally derailed!  And an upgrade of equipment.  I want fitness and I’m still pushing onward, but I have to listen to my body and when your sick...your sick!

Recovery

I'm not feeling too hopeful for this weeks weigh in.   I believe last week I was on a "sick low" when I weighed in.   A weigh in skewed by fever!   I know that toward the end of the week I was about 2 pounds higher.  I'm still tickled with that weight though....it's lower than it has been!    

So how could I label last week?    Lots of different ways.  Different titles for last week could include:

Continually Tired

Never Ending Cough

Come again...and again....and again fever

I miss that Man

I think I can....make it through a work day

Keeping the Pharmaceutical Companies afloat

Yes, that was one nasty bug that I somehow contracted!  Last week was LONG.   I was tired, exhausted really.  I slept long hours but that cough and fever knocked me for a loop.   The medicine just didn't seem to help.....and I tried different concoctions and potions.  I'm like my own little pharmacy.  (I'm still taking Mucinex D trying to keep the chest congestion from settling into Bronchitis or Pneumonia......is that even possible?) 

I did make it to work after a day or two, but those first days back were a example of willpower as I struggled to make it through the workday.  

The worst part of the week?  Jason and I were both sick....apart from each other and that made the week seem SOOO long to not see him!

So I did make it through the week of being sick. (Love sick too since I couldn't see my sweetheart! ha ha ha)

The victory for being sick??????  I tracked ALL of my food!   Every bite!  Every morsel!  EVERYTHING!   

The weekend FINALLY Arrived.  And luckily, I wasn't feeling 'too bad' on Friday.   But I still took it easy!  There is no way that I want this illness to rear it's ugly head again!

Jason and I hooked up on Saturday early afternoon and headed down to Rockville.   The reason?    After the hike the previous weekend, I knew I was going to be investing in new hiking boots.  Rockville is the location of the closest REI store.   I tried on pair after pair of boots.  I could FEEL my feet slipping in the shoes.  One pair were so heavy I felt like I had lead weights on my feet! 

 I finally did settle on a pair.   I settled on a pair of Salomon hiking boots. I was originally looking at a pair of mid ankle boots....but ended up going with more of a backpacking boot....with a higher ankle support.  It feels good on my ankles (that roll quite frequently) and it helps keep my feet more firmly strapped up in the shoe....more secure and more support.  

Jason and I made our way back to Hagerstown and we parted company relatively early...we each had family functions/dinners that we wanted to attend.

On Sunday I lounged around a bit in the morning, I hit up Panera Bread with my parents, Brother and nephews for lunch and then Jason and I headed out together.   I had put on my new hiking boots when I left the house. I know that the more I wear them, the better it will be when I actually hit a trail.  Jason and I are both still recovering though, so we went to the City park to simply walk.  It was perfect...nothing too strenuous but still a bit active.   We circled the park a few times and managed to rack up 5 miles.   

I also managed to pick up a geocache that I had for some reason never gotten at the park.

And I saw the wonderful texture of this box along the railroad track.   

So the verdict on the new boots????????    My heels feel WONDERFUL!   (thus far at least)   The sides of my feet have some hot spots and slight bistering though!   (Really??????   GRRRRR   Jason says it just proves how unique I really am!!!!  ha ha ha) I am hoping that it is just a 'breaking in of the boots' feeling and that my feet will toughen up and all will be well.  The hot spots are kinda where this picture is marked....

If not.....back to REI I will go and we will try another pair of boots.  No biggie (that's partly why I purchased them at  REI.....because of their wonderful no question asked return policy!)

So that brings me to Monday.  Back to the grind!    What are my plans and goals for the week ahead of me????

1.  RUN

       I plan on attempting to run at least 2-3 miles on Tuesday and Thursday morning.   I have 3.5 weeks until            the Cooper River Bridge Run......I am TOTALLY not trained and ready for this....but I have 3.5 weeks!  

     I was running 2-3 miles the weeks before I blistered up.....so if I can run 3 miles a few times this week, I             SHOULD be able to add one mile each week and be ready to run 6....or at least interval run 6 on April 2!

2.  TRACK (my food)!    

 

     Ok, not even just track my food...but keep my caloric intake as close to the goal of 1200 calories.

3.  HIKE 

      On Wednesday I get off work at noon.   I have plans for right after work, but I am hoping to get out at some       point to get a hike in.  (Might I also mention that the weather is supposed to be in the 70's on Wednesday!)

4.  WATER 

      Drink drink drink!

Love Hate

I have a definite love hate relationship with running.  Sick as I was on Monday (and I don't remember much about monday...I pretty much spent from 12:30 AM until about 9PM on the recliner, sleeping), I still asked the doctor when I could resume running.  Yeah, even after my torturous run on Saturday I was concerned about running.  She kinda laughed at me running on Thursday but she cleared me to run.  Well, it's Wednesday night and I'll say pretty definitively that I will NOT be running tomorrow morning.  At this point I'm HOPING for this weekend.

And here is where the love comes in.....I reallly kinda miss running.  I did get out in the car twice today as a passenger. As I rode down the roads that I typically run I found myself thinking "I run on this road"  with a sound of nostalgic longing evident in my mental voice.   Wow...go figure.

Today I actually sat upright and tried to move around a bit more.  I feel sluggish and slow but no where near as exhausted.   The cough, rattle in my chest and the tightness in my chest has not let up though.  GRRR   And the rash...that the doctor said would respond immediately to the oral steroid regime is still kicking loud and strong.   Lucky me!

The longer this goes on, the more concerned I'm going to be about this half marathon.  I don't have much wiggle room in my training schedule.   Right now I feel I can probably still recover from this week of involuntary enforced lethargy.    We shall see.

The good news from my week of sickness???  Even with being on an oral steroid which apparently causes weight gain (water retention) I have dropped 6.4 pounds.   True pounds?  We shall see if I can maintain the through next week (or through whenever I am well again!!)

So my poor little Ethel....she has arthritis really bad in her back legs and doesn't jump up on furniture anymore....I left her up if I am around (and set her down when she wants down).  I was laying on the couch yesterday and I thought it was mertz nosing around....but before I knew it...my little achy kitty cat had somehow crawled herself up onto the couch to be with her mommy!   I moved over to allow her to lay with me.  She was so proud of herself.   She has spent hours with me on the couch yesterday and today.  HOURS.  That first visit when she was so proud she stayed with me for 6 hours straight. (no, I didn't move either).    She does nap but overall she is a GREAT nurse!

Me myself and I

The last couple months have been interesting. I am thinking that maybe I should refer to 2015 as the year of 'cleaning house'.  It seems as if I am eliminating things that are bad for me in my life.   As the final days of my marriage are winding down. (On paper...the marriage has been long over in reality.) I have all of a sudden sat up and started taking notice of my surroundings.  I have unfortunately said goodbye to some friends and people in my life.   One a few weeks back and another just this week.  It's not easy.  But I think it has been necessary for my well being.  I mean seriously....my name is MaryFran.     Call me MaryFrances which is my complete full name.  Call me MaryFran which is what half of the world calls me.   Heck, call me MF, a bunch of people call me that.   But whatever you do, do NOT call me Mary.  My mother was adamant about that when I was young and therefore, I do not associate myself with the name Mary.  You may as well call me Susan if you are going to call me Mary.   This most recent person has been in my life for maybe 7 months or so.....and they STILL had issues with calling me MaryFran.  Really?  It's not that difficult. It's actually disrespectful to not call me by the name that I was given at birth and the name that I chose to go by.   There were some other issues, but I had to cut that tie.   It's not healthy for me.  Just like the other person's constant drama and pandering.  The people that I've gotten rid of are much more crass and abrasive.   I don't appreciate that behavior and if honestly makes me uncomfortable.  I don't need that.......so moving on.   

Yes, this has left a huge hole in my life, socially speaking.  However, I will survive.

Weirdly enough, my soon to be ex (well, he already is my ex just not legally kinda sorta...long story) has turned into a decent friend.   Really it shouldn't be all that surprising as the only thing that held our marriage together is the fact that we lived as friends and that occasionally we would go out for the day and act as friends.  No, there is no chance of a reconciliation.   I laughingly told him that someone predicted that we would end up back together and before I could finish the sentence with the words "Cold day in H....E..... Double hockey sticks"  he said "Don't take this wrong but NO.....I believe I am a person that was meant to be single and even if you begged right now I'd have to say absolutely not!"    I was actually VERY relieved to hear that as it cleared the air for our friendship to actually flourish as FRIENDS.   

So this new found freedom from people that were dragging (potentially) me down.....what is my focus.   Running.   I run.  

 Sick again today...but the schedule showed a 3.5 mile run today so by golly, I got out there and did 3.72 miles.  My run was a bit slower in pace....by about 15 seconds per mile.  But I'm ok with that.  My chest hurts, my throat hurts and the cough is just downright annoying.....and I felt horrible croaking out in my raspy voice my hello's to the gardeners and such that I ran past.    But I did it.    Here is the crazy thing?   My legs felt absolutely fine.   My breathing was regulated.   I had a pretty decent run....except for the fact that my chest and throat felt horrid.  Yes, I did stop to walk for about 30 -60 seconds, three times.  Just needed to walk a bit to ease up the tight feeling in my chest.  (the tightness of the sickness increases when I run).   Regardless.....I ran....SICK!

My weight.....that is another thing that I plan on focusing on.  

 Right now I have a big GRRRRRR   I haven't weighed myself since Friday morning.  Friday night I went to a Chinese Buffet.......Not the greatest of choices I know.   Saturday evening I went to Cafe Italia (Hagerstown, MD) with my parents and their friend Kathy.  I was planning on ordering a grilled chicken salad.  Really, I was.  Until the three guys beside our table ordered one of the HUGE pizza's and it drew my attention.  So of course I switched to a pizza.  SOOOO yummy.   (Technically I wasn't over my calories as I had run 4.3 miles that morning...but well....we know me and what happens when I eat my exercise calories....I either gain or if I'm lucky, I maintain.)   Sunday I went out geocaching and ended up eating at Hoss's Steakhouse.  I got the salad bar......and ate mostly salad.....with macaroni salad on the said. (yeah, call me weird but one of their french dressings tastes FABULOUS on top of the macaroni salad).   I had two plates of salad.....a bowl of soup and two different small pieces of dessert.  I had three on my plate......the third only tasted mediocre so I didn't eat more than the first nibble....VICTORY.   

So three days of eating.....not exactly on point.  And my weight was up.   and I'm back at the low end of that that stupid 5 pound range that I have struggled to get out of.    

I will leave you with a giggle about my morning run today.

My dad usually walks in the morning and once or twice I have seen him as much of the time our walks/run overlap.   Today was not one of those days.  When I got home, the first words out of my mom's mouth was "Did you see your dad today while you were out running?"    I honestly answered with a negative and then watched as mom burst out laughing hysterically.   According to mom, my father had been walking and he saw me in the distance....so he called out hello.....once or twice.   And the poor girl looked at him and took off running.   It wasn't me....so dad freaked out some poor innocent girl.   (the story may have  been embellished a bit by my mother....I will have to check with daddio when I get home tonight....although he has texted me and said "PLEASE tell me that was you on such and such road this morning at about 7:30"  Ha ha ha.....

Neither Rain, Sleet, snow.....

Or what feels like an elephant sitting on my chest will keep me from my run!

Yes, I am still feeling icky.  I woke up this morning and knew that I had a run scheduled for some point this weekend.  Once again I didn't feel totally well...and actually felt another step worse than yesterday. SO, I decided to go today.  Get it done and out of the way in case I am feeling even worse tomorrow (God forbid).  

I got to talking with my dad before heading out and got to laughing.  Laughing made me cough.  Coughing made me gag.  Gagging made my father laugh.   Which made him cough.  Which made me laugh.  Which made me gag.  Vicious cycle!  I had to step away to gather myself and within a few minutes, with my stomach still feeling weird from gagging, I headed out.  (I knew that the gagging was a result of laughing and I knew that I don't normally laugh on my runs so I should be fine!)

I set out with some trepidation and actually wondering if I could make it. I was determined to give it my best shot.

And I did it.  I completed my miles.  I actually probably walked less than I have in my most recent runs.  My first walk didn't hit until almost the 2 mile mark...and was only 30-60 seconds.  From that point on, I walked maybe every 3/4 of a mile for roughly 30 seconds each time.   I determined to run to a certain point and I did.......and when I looked at my tracker......Wooo hooo.....it must have paused when I went to put it in my run buddy pouch.  It didn't track my run at all!   Luckily for me, it showed me when I had started it and paused it ...so I knew how long I had been running.....and I had decided to run the exact same route as last Sunday!    So I was still able to get my stats.....and happily I can say that even sick, I ran it faster than last week!

I was a bit nervous because I had Chinese (Buffet too...arrgghh) for dinner last night.   I wasn't sure how that was going to affect my weight.  But I am happy to say that my weight remained the same from yesterday to today.   I am making sure I drink lots of water so that I don't have any residual weight gain...but right now I'm feeling pretty good about my weight loss efforts.

15 calories....they would add up pretty quickly!!!

Today was supposed to be a rest day.  But I know that my Thursday and Fridays I have planned them to be a bit interchangeable.  Thursday runs are difficult because I am tired.  It's the end of my work week.  It's the end of a few days straight of some vigorous exercise.   Fridays make more sense to run for that reason.  Schedule wise it actually kind of makes more sense to run on Thursdays.  However  I planned Fridays based on the needs of my bodym thus allowing myself the wiggle room to push off Thursdays run to Friday if need be and it won't 'affect' my schedule.  Yeah, if I'm scheduled to run Thursday and I don't do it, I know me.  I'll be down on myself because 'I was scheduled and I didn't do it'.  This way I have the wiggle room on the days that I knew would be most difficult for me.  (Sundays is my long run day.....Saturdays are hit or miss so I made it on Sundays.  If I get the log run in on Saturday, awesome.  If not, and I do it on Sunday then I'm right on Schedule!)  Yeah, it's a mind game...but that's all good.

So let me back up a bit before I go on with my 'supposed' rest day.    A week or two ago my nephew came down sick.  My other nephew followed a few days later and it's been like slow falling dominos since then.  And it's not a 'sick and then well'  it seems to be a sick and linger and then just when you think life is grand again reoccurring ickiness.    I had hoped and prayed that I would not succumb.  NO WAY!   I don't have time for that stuff!  I have a life to lead.  I have a half marathon to train for.  I have plans!    

And of course here is a picture of the culprits and carriers of the dreaded bug! 

Well, on Tuesday afternoon I started noticing a tickle in my throat/chest that caused me to cough.  A dry cough that emphasized the tightness in my chest.   I rolled with it.  I hoped for the best.   Wednesday it was a bit more regular but I still went to zumba.   I actually made it through the class and really didn't have many issues.  I noticed the tightness in my chest but it wasn't bad enough to make me stop.    This morning (Thursday) I woke up and boy was my chest tight. The cough was there and my voice was DEEP.  Yeah, this was not looking good.  I

I laid in bed for a bit and then decided.....lets get this 3 mile run over with today.  I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow and I'd rather do it today and be done just in case.  And if I feel fabulous tomorrow.....well then the run is done anyway and I can enjoy my early afternoon off of work without the specter of a run marring the afternoon.  So out I went.

I did surprisingly well.  A few times I felt as if I couldn't get a deep enough breath of air, but nothing major. (ha ha ha as if breathing isn't major!)  The last half mile or so my chest was HURTING.  Hurting as in my first thought was, "Holy cow, I'm having a heart attack"  until I remember that my chest had been tight and I just ran 3 miles.     My time?   I am proud to say that the run portion of my run this morning was only 1 second slower per mile than my run portion from Tuesday.  not bad.  

Yes, my pace is showing on the pic a lot slower because I had already started my cool down walk and I was getting my picture so I could calculate my running pace. I do NOT run at a 20 minute pace!  

So I got home, had a piece of toast, packed my lunch, showered and I headed out to work. I decided to stop at a pharmacy to pick up some medication. No, I don't need medication at this point.  But I decided to douse this cold with some Vitamin C.  So I picked up some Airborne type medicine. (ok, I'm cheap and bought the store brand, which we all know is usually made by the same company)  and some cough drops in case the coughing starts to annoy me.  Yes, I know I should have been doing the Airborne stuff since they first got sick and not wait until I showed the first signs...but this is how I roll!   

Don't be a hater.....I wanted the yummy tasting cough drops!  

Drat at 15 calories a cough drop.....do I have to count them if I succumb to the pressure/need to use them???

It's kind of senseless

I planned out my calories yesterday.  I was spot on with my eating.  UNTIL Todd looked over at me and said "I could really go for something sweet."   That just sent me off in a whirl.  What in the world could I bake that would be yummy, sweet and delicious!   I ended up making chocolate chip peanut butter bars.   Oh yes, I did!   You see, saying 'don't have the bad foods in your house' doesn't work for me.  I love to bake so it was super easy to whip these suckers up in no time at all!    The house smelled HEAVENLY as the aroma wafted out of the oven during baking.   We cut into the and I started to eat my piece of this heavenly delight.  Ahhhh pure bliss!  And then halfway through my piece I realized that I was really not digging it anymore.  I kept eating though because I remembered the pure bliss of that first bite....I wanted to recapture it!   I ate another bite or two and then said "NO!  No more!"   You see, I had already eaten to the point of being a tad bit sick.  Yeah, isn't that wrong....to allow something that tastes so good turn into something that makes you sick.  Welcome to the life of an addict.

I was shocked though.  The amount of yumminess that I ate shouldn't have made me sick.  Really.  I sat watching I love Lucy (we are watching through the whole series again.....simply because I love that show...as evidenced by my cats names.....Lucy, Ethel, Desi, Winni-fred, mertz and Frawley) and pondered this fact.  Had my body turned a corner and started to change?   Hmmmmm

I went to bed and slept quite delightfully......until about 5AM.  I woke up and I was DYING of thirst.  Now when I wake up thirsty, I know that I'm dehydrated (they say if you get to the point of being thirsty, it's too late you are already dehydrated.....so remember that when you are exercising...don't wait until you are thirsty to drink!) and that means that my weight is usually a few pounds up.  Luckily if I watch my eating and don't let that number on the scale upset me and throw me off course I am back down within a day or so of good water drinking.  But anyway, I woke up thirsty.  I laid there for a few minutes and then it HIT.  Oh did it ever hit.  A stomach ache to end all stomach aches.  I ran to the bathroom...then went back to bed.  4 times I went to the bathroom.....or was it 5.  I don't know...it was a lot.

I don't think I have the flu....I just think my body wants to eliminate what it finds useless.   As I lay there between bouts I was thinking about this.    The food I ate last night was totally tasty.  And TOTALLY useless.  What nutrients did I really gain from that snack?   Ohhhh protein from the peanut butter!  ha ha ha...but seriously!  What a waste of food.  Food SHOULD be fuel and that food was not fuel.  Trickery!  I want food that fuels my body and makes me stronger, healthier and leaner!  

OK, I talk big right now....saying I want the healthy foods that fuel.  I KNOW....and anyone reading this post knows that in a week or two....or a month (Oh hell...I'll probably be in Lancaster next weekend...so it will be shoe fly pie next weekend.....so I guess it will be a week....I'm not going to try to kid anyone!!) that I'll be saying I ate something 'sweet' and totally un-nutritious.   That's life.  I"m not going to try to fight it. To fight it is to deny who I am and what life is. I just need to realize that those foods are not fueling my body and that I need to limit the intake.

Meanwhile, back to the bathroom I go.  Boy...work today is going to be 'fun'.  ha ha ha

The affect of our words

July.....wow, what a month. (and yes I am fully cognizant of the fact that it's not over yet).  At the very beginning of July I was officially diagnosed with Plantars Fasciitis and of  a little lessor of  concern Tarsal Tunnel.  I was told to limit my activities that were high impact.  That was followed up with a bout with the flu/food poisoning (the jury is out about which I had...all I know is that I was absolutely miserable!), on the heels of  that was dealt a huge emotional blow that has left me reeling.  (feel free to imagine and conjure up a story...tame or off the hook spicy...it's all good....imagination is a good thing  ha ha ha).  It's wreaked havoc on my exercise. Seriously, an injury/ache that limited my exercise, the flu that wiped me out and emotions that made me feel like I wasn't worthy of the time needed to invest in this process and new lifestyle.  What a bad combination.  July honestly would have been a TOTAL bust for me weight loss wise (that's assuming I don't gain for this last weigh in that will occur early next week) if it weren't for the fact that I had the flu and I puked some weight off of my body.

Exercise was wonky and lets face it...I'm a food addict.   Did I mention that there have been a lot of emotions involved in the last month?   Well there was.  I barely controlled my eating..there were a few stellar days of eating.  There were a few crazy days of eating.  There were a lot of borderline days of eating.


I went out riding today.  I procrastinated for quite some time this morning.  I was reading blogs and playing around on my computer.  Finally I pushed my computer aside and said, "no more until you go riding."   So I pushed myself out.  Oh yeah, my mind was screaming all sorts of excuses at me...but I ignored them!   I not only went for a ride....I pushed myself for an extra few hellish hilly miles.  OK ok ok, I have to admit it.  My rule is to only unclip and put my feet down if I have to at crossroads/stop signs.  Other than my little problem on the ride with my brother I have been able to hold onto that 'rule' .  Until today.  Yeah, I was on my 'new section' that was hilly.  VERY hilly.  I could see the tail end...the last stop sign before I got back to more familiar territory .  I was struggling up the last hill...out of the saddle...in the saddle..it didn't make a difference....my legs were SHOT at that point.  I went slower and slower, struggling.  I went so slow that I started to go over.   Go over as in FALL DOWN.   Yes, I was of course clipped in.  I saw my life flash before my eyes as I tilted over.  For a split second I thought that I was going to have a date with the pavement.  Somehow instinct took over and I kicked my heel outward, popping me out of the clip and at one of the last possible minutes put my foot on the ground and caught myself.   I rested a few minutes and I'm embarrassed to say that I walked the last 10 feet up the feel (yeah, I was THAT close and I have NEVER walked up a hill...so I ruined THAT perfect record)  Regardless, my ride was done and I DID get back on the bike and went the last 5 miles to get myself home.  :-)

Today as I was slogging up the biggest hill I encountered a motorcycle with two riders came up behind me.  I vaguely knew they were there (hello, you can hear them coming).  They were out cruising and enjoying the historic views surrounding my town.  They slowed down beside me and the woman on the back looked at me and yelled. "This is one hell of a hill, you are doing GREAT!"  They both gave me thumbs up and went on their way.   I had been riding out of my saddle...which is the most difficult thing for me right now, I don't do it too much and it....well I haven't mastered it...it HURTS and my breathing gets out of whack.  SO I was out of my saddle struggling up this hill and their words helped me get to the top.  I don't know who they are...but they meant so much to me today (too bad they weren't there a mile or so later when I was struggling up the hill that undid me...haa haa haa)    Seriously, those words from a stranger meant sooo much to me.

Early this year when I was spending hours out on the battlefield pushing through the C25K training I frequently say a man.  He drove a white truck with West Virginia tags and has a very short fat poodle (seriously, this dog is as wide as she is tall).  I was doing intervals so I was walking a lot of the time and got a chance to stop and pet the dog.  This man NEVER failed to talk to me.   Then I hit the  big wall that you hit during that C25K training..that first 20 minute straight run was a rough one.  I was doing it and pushing through the last few minutes, determined to finish it no matter what.  This man walked by me and said "I've been watching you the last weeks.  You are doing it and it makes me proud and happy to watch your transformation".  I said thanks and didn't even stop to pet the pup because I HAD to finish that straight run to prove it to myself.   I saw him numerous times after that.  We always said hi and I always gave his doggy some attention.   I need to thank him for his words.......they meant so much.  (Unfortunately, after I made the decision to thank him...I've not run into him!)

So compliment people.......encourage people........it has a PROFOUND affect!

PS  I WILL conquer that hill very SOON!!

Gift horse

I was rather bummed out about the fact that over the weekend that I showed 5 pounds up.  Yeah, literally 5 pounds in two days.  I didn't eat 5 pounds worth of food.  SO I was reasonably sure that it was mostly water weight as I KNOW that I was somewhat dehydrated on Saturday and Sunday I was outside all day in some pretty extreme heat.  I was drinking diet soda all weekend (which usually drives my weight up...water weight, I guess because of the sodium).   Regardless, I was bummed.

On Monday night I got home and went right to bed.  I was up a few hours later with terrible pains in my stomach and lets just say that I dropped all of those added pounds and then some within the next few hours.  Not the way I wanted to lose weight, but I'll take it!  Seriously, I'm not going to turn any weight loss aside!  In the future though, I'd like to stick to the good old fashioned watching what I eat and exercising like a mad woman to drop pounds!!!

I hope to be back on my bike very soon.  There is no way I could have even attempted it today. (I could barely make it through washing dishes for 10 minutes).  I probably will give myself tomorrow also and see how I handle a 'normal' day.  Right now I'm projecting to be back out by Friday!   On Monday I was planning that Tuesday I was going to add miles and more hills to my ride....I may not do that on Friday but it is COMING.

The other awesome side affect of my sickness. For the last two days I've pretty much laid flat on my back.  I've not walked and this forced inactivity has given my heel issues some time to settle down.  I noticed today that my heel didn't bother me at all.  Dare I hope......

Heaving + Running = fun times

I was on cloud nine when I got to work after my walk yesterday.  Seriously.  I was feeling on top of the world.   Yeah, I did have a bit of a blister on the bottom of my foot, but that was just an annoyance but otherwise all was good.  I had conquered and won a self imposed challenge!  And then the menu for lunch was dropped on my desk.  I had made waffles for breakfast at the house before my trek into town.  (waffles with berries and a strawberry syrup).  I didn't need much food. I had planned a light lunch because of that.  But the bank was paying...so I ordered 1/2 a turkey sub.  (a little higher in calories than I would have normally chosen after the waffles, but still OK)  My manager went ahead and got the whole sub for me (it was the same price..winter special).  I wasn't upset. She talked to me before hand and I had decided that I would just eat it for lunch tomorrow....no packing alunch  needed.  It would be in the fridge at work waiting for me.  All was right in my world.  I pulled up MPF and put my food in. Uhhh, I would only have 300 calories for dinner.  But I made my plans. 

I texted Todd and had him pull a steak out of the freezer for himself.  I planned to make mashed potatoes and veggies.  I would eat a small amount of potatoes and then load up on fruits and veggies.  I was A-OK with that.   But, best laid plans.......

Todd texted me back a little later and asked if I would mind if he made some kind of stir-fry with his steak.  Well of course I didn't mind.  I was still planning on making the potatoes and veggies....but then I thought about how easy it would be to simply eat the other half of that sub since he was making his own dinner.  I knew I didn't have the calories in my budget.....well, I would if I used my earned calories from my walk and only be 10 calories in the negative.  Soooo I planned to do that and just be OK with using all of my earned calories.......my new plan was in force....at least until after I had that 1/2 sub for dinner and I started thinking about how I wanted something sweet  last night.

Ohhh yes I did.  I had a 245 calorie dessert.  245 calories that I did NOT have the calories for.  This is definitely the FIRST time I have gone over on my calories  that badly since shortly after Christmas.  I ate a total of 1764 calories for the day. (I'm aiming for 1250 a day not including my earned calories)  Hmmmm  In the grand scheme of things still not bad.  (and honestly, still in the losing range of caloric restriction even with those extra calories utilized) But not where I want to be.

On a good note, I was only about 20 ounces of water into my day when they went to pick up lunch.  When I ordered I was very quick to say "And A diet pepsi please!!!"  That is probably only the second or third time I have drank a diet soda since I restarted.  I won't lie, it tasted heavenly!    BUT...the good note?  I finished up that diet pepsi and then I went back to water and I STILL completed my water consumption goal for the day!

I refuse to beat myself up over it.  I slipped.  I've tightened the belt and I'm marching onward!  Part of the Shazam plan is realizing that these kinds of days WILL occur. (Was it just the snow and the 'off day'?  Was it part of the munchies that go along with the monthly feminine  ick?   I don't know....and it doesn't matter) Realizing and accepting that these days happen takes the pressure off when it happens. The trick is just recognizing it and knowing that it can't happen all the time.   That pressure being gone makes me just rejuvenated and ready to rock it tomorrow!

This morning I woke up and laid in bed.  I really toyed with options.  I had excuses galore why I couldn't run.  Seriously..the roads might have patches of ice...after all we did have precipitation yesterday.  Todd wanted breakfast...and I do try to play the good wife role even when I'm frustrated at things in the marriage. (and he is working tonight and I do try to make at least one meal each day).  Excuses excuses excuses.  I finally settled on the fact that I would make him breakfast (and me too) and THEN go on my run.  Today was a 22 minute straight run.....that is why all the excuses were pouring through my head.  Fear fear fear.  (I am beginning to hate that word...even as I smash it to smithereens!).   

I made a somewhat nutritious breakfast...nicely well rounded.  For me I had an egg and cheese sandwich and hash browns. (Todd had more and cooked differently..but I don't like eggs, I have to disguise them if I want to eat them).  I cleaned up and slowly changed my clothes.  I decided to run down my road this morning...it saves the time driving to the battlefield (which is only a couple miles away...but still).  I started off.  The first half of my run was marked with a malfunction of my running app (the C25K app....my music shut off and I couldn't fix it).  Not a problem...I ran without music.  I used that time to pray.  The app is supposed to notify me at the half way mark (and when I'm on my road doing an out and back run I turn at that mark).  I ran...and ran...and ran ...and finally gave in and looked at my phone.  Dang it...I had missed the half way mark notice...but the good news...I was already 13 minutes into my 22 minutes.  I fiddled with the app and miraculously got the music going again.  Thank heavens.  The music started and something that I had been ignoring for a while started to rear it's ugly head.  You see...that food that I had for breakfast was sloshing around in my gut.  Yes....sloshing and it was not a good feeling.  At about 14 minutes in I was heaving.  It wasn't much...just nasty.  I spit and kept going...without really even breaking my stride.  I won't lie....part of me wanted to quit.  But I KNEW why I was feeling queasy and ill.  It was because I ate food very shortly before going out running.  I finished that 22 minutes and by golly I went an extra 30 seconds of running...just to prove it to myself that I could!   I wasn't letting anything keep me down.       And lets just say....LESSON LEARNED!  Breakfast AFTER run...never before! (although the string cheese before a run seems to work really well)

I will admit...today I am filled with self doubt about my weigh in that will be upcoming on Monday.  Freaked out for some reason.  (I prewrote the first half ...about my eating yesterday, last night...and was feeling good).  However, this morning I'm panicked.  Partly because of my extra 250 calories yesterday and partly because it's looking like I'm not going to get the level of exercise in this week that I have been getting.     Deep breath in....deep breath out.  This is life.......not a race.  Accept whatever happens and move on because regardless of what my mind is yelling....I AM doing what is right, good and healthy for my body! (on a side note...I read one of Jillian Michaels books a few years back and she actually recommended that you have a higher caloric day once a week to keep your metabolism 'guessing' and burning).

That said, my eating today is totally planned out!

Never say never

This morning I woke up and did my typical morning routine.  I laid in bed and checked my mail.  Hey, I like my lazy morning wake-ups!   My inbox contained an email that immediately caught my interest.  It was from "Friend Extraordinaire"  (I'm naming her that because I've never really asked her permission to use her name and stories in my blog....)  I immediately wrote a long arse response to her (on my iphone too boot, which tells you how important it was to me, long responses are usually written on a computer).  The email exchange went like this.....(if you don't want to be bored with reading the email exchange, just skip the italicized words.......I won't cry too hard about you skipping my well thought out response....but promise you that it the big news is at the end!

To MaryFran 
......I'm bringing my running clothes but not hopeful..
I'm really not feeling ready for this run., My body doesn't seem to be getting used to the running. What is wrong with me. I'm pity partying tonight. I know I'm working hard, I want to see major results. Help!
                                             from friend extraordinaire

That email obviously demanded an immediate response.  So respond I did.....I poured my heart and feelings into the email....

To Friend Extraordinaire,

I hear you....I'm still struggling with this congestion...and the war is going on in my mind....run or not run. I know that a big part of my indecision is not the congestion/cold/sinus issues. A big part is fear because I know that today is a huge run...as you said, a rite of passage. I don't think our bodies are going to feel 'used to' running yet. We are continually pushing ourselves ...this program keeps us pressing forward.

My thought is this...when we first started we struggled with that 1.5 minute run. I remember that first time we ran together and we hit our first 3 minute run....we gasped and moaned and lamented about it ever being over....yet just a few short weeks we have accomplished 8 minute long runs. We have followed the program....and it hasn't let us down yet had it???! So lets have faith that it won't let us down today either!!

One more thought on our bodies getting used to running....we've only been at this five weeks....right now our bodies are simply trying to adjust to actually jogging....as the muscles and stamina builds we will gradually grow more comfortable.  

That all said, running may not be for you, me or us. I AM however going to see this c25k program to completion. I've started it three times before. Three times I quit. I quit when it got rough...when my body ached...when the weather got icky...etc. I need to finish it , get to that point that I really can run....just pop some headphones on and run without waiting for a walk/run cue and THEN decide about running as a hobby/form of exercise.

Pity parties allowed on occasion!!! Just don't let your pity party derail you. Major results ARE coming down our lane. We can't see them yet...but they will soon be knocking on our doorstep....we are doing everything right...there is no reason why major results will not come a knocking!!! Well there is ONE reason....and that's if we give up!

You've got this girl!! I'm attempting my run at roughly 8AM...ill let you know how it goes. I will be crossing my fingers and praying that you smash your run...and that no matter what happens on either of our runs, that we both accept that we are doing it (and that we did a hell of a lot more than we ever could have dreamed of back in January) and congratulate ourselves for our effort!!
                                              MaryFran

Yeah, I think that was an inspired email myself!  So I wrote the email, laid around for a few more minutes and then got out of bed.  And it hit me....I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks.  This sinus issue....really was probably now a full fledged cold.  The constant war in my head started....but then I realized that it was all excuses.  You can exercise with a cold.  I have in the past.  It's not a deal breaker.  What was the deal breaker was the fact that I wasn't sure I could do it. I mean holy heck, I was scheduled to run for 20 minutes straight! I battled with these thoughts RIGHT AFTER I wrote that email.  I felt two faced.  What a hypocrite!   Sooo, I threw on my exercise clothes....shoved a wad of tissues into the pocket of my outer layer and headed out.

~~ The warm up walk was fine....a little cold around my neck as today I didn't wear a hooded sweatshirt ...that hood really helps keep the draft out of your shirt!

Mid run

~ The little voice in my head (AKA known as the C25K app on my phone) told me to run and I started.  The first five minutes were hellish.  My thigh muscles were screaming in freakish agony as I propelled myself forward.
~  Round about 5 minutes I was in my groove and felt pretty good.  My legs stopped hurting and I was rockin' in (as much as I can in my ungraceful run...)

~I made a mistake and looked at the timer at 10 minutes and I was filled with utter self doubt.  Seriously?  I had to run for 10 more minutes!  I couldn't do that.  I'm sick as a dog, hacking up a lung (ok, it's actually still the sinus gunk that my cough is trying to get out of my body and not from my lungs), my nose is running like a sieve.....)and I'm out here in the cold weather RUNNING?   What am I thinking?   I wanted to walk.  I soooo wanted to walk.  But I didn't.  I kept going.
~ Round about minute 15, I started to believe that I was really going to do it.
~ Right around minute 18 1/2 I started to cry.  No, not in pain and misery.....but because I thought it wasn't possible.  I can't remember EVER in my life running for 20 minutes straight.  Seriously...ME?????  RUNNING????

I DID IT!  Not impressed yet???  I did it while I am sick!!!!   I set my mind to it and I did it.   Yes, I know not to push it too much while sick.  I'm not foolhardy!  They actually say exercise with a cold isn't a no no so I'm good!

update......I just got an update....my friend extraordinare has also completed her dreaded week 5 day three 20 minute run today!!!!!   GO SHERRY!!!!

Shashing through fear

Tuesday night I took off from exercise and stayed home.  I knew that I was coming down with some ailment and I wasn't sure what it was.  I didn't want to exacerbate any potential sickness by doing any heavy duty exercise only to come home so whipped, tired and more sick.  So I went home and took it easy.  I woke up on Wednesday and I could feel the sinus pressure in my head and the sinus drainage.  The drainage causes my throat to hurt and gives me a slight cough...but nothing major.  Overall, I felt pretty good.  No overwhelming tiredness, no achy feeling and most importantly no fever.  I pondered exercise all day long.  OK, I didn't ponder....a war was waged in my head. My fat mini me and my thin mini me were at war and the cacophony of noise in my head from this war was deafening.  On one shoulder, screaming into my ear was my fat mini me.  My fat mini me was yelling "You are sick, do not exercise...do not exercise...do not exercise!"  The thin mini me was yelling equally as loud.....but the message was very different. What was thin mini me saying?   Thin mini me was saying "Excuses....they are all excuses. Sinus drainage and pressure is NOT an illness, just an inconvenience.  They are excuses to keep you fat and far from your goal."    The battle raged in my head loud.  I listened.  I pondered. And then I made my choice.  Using sinus pressure (which I know from experience can last for weeks) IS an excuse.  So I tested the waters.  I went for my run.  I did the next installment in my c25k thing.  I felt pretty good after that so decided to roll with it.  I headed off to zumba.   It went well.   1.5 hours of pretty intense exercise completed for the day.

This morning the war started to wage again.....but this morning it wasn't the excuse of not feeling 100% (still sinus pressure).  Well, maybe a wee bit.  This morning it was fear.   That old fear reared it's ugly head.  You see, I had decided that I would go to the gym.  I decided that I would try an exercise class at the gym.  I am a chicken.  I do zumba...but I'm in my comfortable class...my zumba class is my comfort zone.  Going to a new class at the gym is totally out of my comfort zone.My confidence is racked with fear....fear about being the odd man out, the only one that doesn't know what I'm doing...etc etc etc.   Then to make matters worse, I could have to rush to the locker rooms and face that fear of the locker room showers again.  I faced it last week and I know it's not bad, but the fear wasn't totally gone.  Fear........it's debilitating.  I ALMOST stayed home and rode the exercise bike.  But then I said, "screw this" and with my stomach churning I set out.   I did 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer while I waited for my class to start and then I headed into a zumba sentao class.   It was very neat to see a different approach to the same class that I attend on Monday nights.  Anita is still top notch in my book. Anita approaches the chair as an instrument to fitness.  This gal approached the chair as if were a stripper pole.  I won't lie...it was fun.  She was hard to follow...and while she wore a speaker that was piped through the sound system, the music mostly drowned her out ....which is OK because she sang along with the music most of the time.  Zumba is not a class where they usually call out instructions, so i wasn't expecting it.  I will be trying one of her 'regular' zumba classes soon I'm sure and we shall see how that is.    Regardless......I did 90 minutes of exercise this morning.  I faced the fear of doing a class.....I faced the fear of the showers.....I faced the rush between the class and my scheduled time to start work.  I faced it...and I SMASHED my fears!  :-)

Fear only serves one purpose...and that is to keep us from achieving the greatness that we are capable of!

NO FEAR~~~~~SHAZAM!

Coexistence

I had a blog post all planned out for today.  Really....it was written and ready for final review this morning before hitting the publish button.  It was about negativity.  Not self negativity...but negativity in others as they listen to us talk about our journey.  You know the kind of person..."ohhh that will never work...."  and they continue to spout all kinds of negativity   The kind of person that then couches it in terms of encouragement by following it with 'but good luck' (insert sarcastic tone).  Negativity.....so destructive.  

But then something happened......ironically enough after my post yesterday when I was saying that 'life happens......roll with the punches and learn to LIVE in a healthy manner even as you embrace life.'   I felt on top of the world.  I went up to the lunch room at work and ate my lunch.  It was a satisfying and healthy lunch.  I went back downstairs and about an hour later I realized that I had left something up on the table.  I trotted back upstairs. I say trotted because I don't think I ran....but I didn't dilly dally as I went up the stairs.  As I was coming back downstairs I felt this incredible pain/pressure in my chest.  It surprised me. I had a bout of chest pains back in late 2010 into 2011 where I had chest pains.  It was  months of constant rounds of doctors and tests...they never did figure out what was wrong and occasionally the chest pains still flare up...but it's been a long while since I had one.  And then about an hour after that my throat started to hurt.  Seriously?   I'm getting sick?????   NOOOOOOOO  OK, this doesn't surprise me too much either because Todd has been horribly sick since Saturday.  OK, he's a guy so horribly sick means a different thing when it's a guy.....but seriously, he's been perched on the couch pretty much constantly from Saturday through right now. (although yesterday he was doing much better so I expect him to be back up and moving this morning).  My first thought was OHHH NO....I'm on such a roll with exercise...I don't want to stop now.  I have zumba....and running...and the gym!   (shocked the heck out of me to have those thoughts as my first ones)   But then I straightened my back and said to myself......this is life.   OK OK OK...actually I started quoting the postman's creed...."Neither rain nor snow......."   NOTHING is going to keep me off of my mission.   Does that mean I went to zumba anyway.  No, I went home and rested.  Does it mean I'll go to zumba tonight.  Who knows.....I'll let you know when that time comes.   What does it mean?   It means that I will accept that I was not and may not be able to exercise to the extent that I want this week.     It does mean that I'll tighten up my eating.  I eat pretty close to my caloric goals to begin with...but I do admit that on exercise days I don't panic if I'm over on my calorie count.  So I typically run about 50- 100 or so calories over.  Well if I"m not exercising.......yup......tighten up and bring myself back down to my goal.   It's accepting that this may and will slow down my weight loss. (This is a lifestyle anyway...not a race!)I may only get a maintain number on the scales this week.  But it's being OK with it because LIFE HAPPENS and no strict diet or exercise plan can withstand the daily ins and outs of life on a daily basis for long term.   They need to coexist peacefully and in harmony.

Shazam!