I have been thinking about self sabotage a lot lately. It is such a real problem for me. I have some incredible weeks and I am FINALLY moving in the right direction on the scales and it feels as if I am in control and on top of the world. Everything is going in the right direction and then all of a sudden...BOOM....I find myself in the kitchen eating food with no control. I even recognize my actions while I'm gorging on the food. But I say "I don't care." Why? Why do I stop caring??
Years ago I made a hefty realization. I realized that I was totally afraid to lose the weight. I was afraid to shed my fat because I wear the fat as a suit of armor to protect me from the world. It is my insulation. The fat is my excuse for everything. "Ohhh, I didn't get that job....must have been discrimination because I was fat". Makes total sense doesn't it? Ok to a food addict fat suit of armor wearing girl it does! Any thing that went wrong....blame it on the fat! Because you see, it's easier to blame things on the FAT. It's easier to blame the fat versus say "well maybe I didn't get the job because I bombed the interview" or "maybe I didn't get the job because I am not qualified". Those are failures and shortcomings of myself and they are harder to admit to! It's easy to admit to the weight....everyone see it...it's already well known! So I use it as an excuse!
So to stop the self sabotage in a weight loss journey we need to sit back and we need to think about what is causing us to be fearful. What are we afraid of? What is making us be afraid to shed the excess pounds. Are you afraid of actually discovering who you really are without the fat suit? Are you afraid that someone won't love you? Or that someone will love you? Are you afraid of the unknown? What is the fear....because sabotage begins in fear!
Each of us have different fears....but sabotage is rooted in fear. We have to face those fears. We have to figure out what we are afraid of and then say, "What is the worst thing that will happen should I come face to face with my fear"? And once you actually go that far....you have to weigh the risk and benefits and I am 100% positive that the benefits outweigh (pun intended) the risks! (and let me say...from experience...if you are afraid of losing someone in your life if you lose the weight.....then they are not worthy of being in your life in the first place!!!!)
Self Sabotage.......it's just fear wrapped up in a pretty package/word! Face the fears and conquer them!!!!
