Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Somber

I'm gaining weight.  Plain and simple.  I'm gaining weight.   I know why I'm gaining and I just seem powerless to stop it.

You see, I have a food addiction.  And just like an alcoholic turns to the bottle when life just kinda....well....sucks.  I turn to food.  It's not an excuse.  It's just a fact.  Food is my drug of choice.   It was highlighted this morning as I decided to pick up a breakfast sandwich on the way to work.  Burger King.   Yeah, that's a bad sign right there.  And when I order my meal and ask for it to be upsized to the biggest size possible because I need the big drink is the next bad sign.  Is that everything?  Why no....the mini cinnabons are there.  Would I like one two or three?   Why three of course!  And I scarfed that food down while driving down the road.....even the deliciously gooey cinnabon mini's!   Lunch.....oh lets just let it drop.  I was emotional (was is an understatement...AM) and I ate today.

I know that this has to stop.  I have to stop the weight gain.  I have to stop this.  I want to lose not gain.

I've long said that weight loss goes hand in hand with emotional health and boy this is proving it.

The emotions.  Yes, it bothers me that my ex is Mr. Jovial and  Mr. Man that is out dating and being the man that I had always wished I had in my life.   I don't want him back, but it bothers me to see him doing stuff that I would have given my eyeteeth to do and have.  That coupled with more dating disasters on my end (I have knick names for the guys I've seen/talked to......and they are not very complimentary......tiny taco, the elf,  blacktooth.....)  Just too much.  Bring on the food.

I'm going to vow again to try to bring it under control.  Maybe this time will be the magical attempt.