I gained. I gained weight on my official Friday weigh in! And no, I'm not happy about it!
Ok, I got that right out there didn't I! No beating around the bushes. I just had to say it! I gained about 1.5 pounds in that week stretch. I sit back and I want to say HOW.....I'm not eating horribly! On my indulgent days, I am eating about 1600-1800 calories. And I gain! What is wrong with me!
OK, so enough about the whining! This is a chapter that repeats time and time again for me. I KNOW that I can't eat 1600 calories...yet I continue to try! I want my body to be 'normal'. I want my body to lose weight at that range that should allow me to lose a pound a week ...if I am going strictly by the numbers. BUT, my body is not like that. My body has it's own unique sense of how weight should be lost. Unfortunately for me, that means that I need to keep my calories closer to the 1200 range. I can sneak it up to 1400 but that is my range. 1200-1400. When I eat within that range, I lose. Plain and simple!
Now, I HAVE talked to my doctor about my calorie range. She knows that I don't lose at 1600....but I do at 1300. And she simply said "well you know what you need to do and what your caloric goal needs to be". So eating at that calorie range is doctor approved for me!
But why??? Why do I have to eat like a bird? (which honestly...birds eat CONSTANTLY, so I don't get that saying). Why do I have to watch every bite knowing that if I eat an extra piece of bread that the weight will pile on overnight? Why do I have to restrict to 1200 calories, and existing on nibbling on raw carrots? (Not really, simply because I hate raw carrots...but that's what this journey feels like sometimes!) Why do I try so hard and not lose weight? WHY WHY WHY!
Yes, I'm having a pity party! I'm not giving up. I know that I am worth every ounce of effort that I make! BUT, dang if it isn't a difficult journey!
