Friday, May 09, 2008

crapola

YES, crapola! I was so set to not even taste the cake batter. THen I caved. EII YIII YIII! My only consolation. I actually had 6 points left for the day to utilize for something special. SOOOO..I guess my points just went there. BUT I"m still not happy with myself!

Friday morning chit chat

I heard the best statement this morning. It was made by someone who was working out...and feeling the pain of it as she pushed herself. Her comment... "I've learned that I need to welcome pain, for it is through pain that I learn, grow and mature and succeed". How true is that. It's true in exercise. We can't get further until we push ourselves into that realm of pain. Into that realm where things are uncomfortable. But also, in our lives....the pain helps us grow and mature. Really....how profound is that statement?

Just a review. Last Sunday I weighed in at 184.4 pounds. On Monday I was 185.4 (most likely water retention). I didn't weigh myself at home anymore since then (official weigh in ws 183 at my meeting). Well, this morning I weighed myself. I weighed in at a fantastic 181.4 pounds! that's like incredible! And including today I've still got 4 days to go until my official weigh in day!!!! It just seems as if the weight is dropping off of me. I know that it is in large part due to the mental shift that has occured within me. But I hope that whatever plateau that I kept hitting at around 180 is BEHIND me! FOR GOOD. I so want to power into the 170's SOON! At the rate I've been losing......next week maybe???? :-)

I'm going to so kill Todd's mothers cat. Ok...maybe not kill it...because she can't help it. You see...she's getting old....I think she is still mourning over the loss of Judy (todd's mother)..and well....she's old. BUT does she have to puke EVERY morning at 4:45???? BESIDE ME! This morning it was on the floor...yesterday I heard her 'gearing' up while she laid on the pillow beside my head (yeah, I threw her on the floor pretty darn fast!). The problem.....5 is just too close to when I typically wake up...so then I lay there awake..unable to sleep. Yesterday i went out and made the biscotti early. This morning because i had to work, I got up and rode the exercise bike for 45 minutes....i was slow and sluggish though...only made it 12.1 miles....oh well. I was showered and dressed and ready for work by 6AM. Ohhh....I don't have to leave for work until 7:40. What do do with time like that? Yeah, I could have cleaned my house...but oh well....that wasn't going to happen this morning! :-)

I'm planning on a thorough cleaning tomorrow afternoon. I work until noon...and when I get home I have to decorate a cake (which I'm baking tonight) and then I'll clean the house. Ohhh the cake I'm decorating..Here's a laugh. It's a guitar shaped cake (borrowed the pan from my mom)....but it's for a guy who is totally into southern rock music...and apparently the confederate flag....with a white bird is a big deal (ok...displaying my southern rock innocence right about now). SOOOO I'm decorating this guitar cake as a confederate flag (and i have a little white bird to put on it...) crazy isn't it? Oh well...twill be a challenge. My mom and one of her friends that decorates cakes thinks I'm utterly insane to even attempt it. We'll see how it goes! :-)

It is pouring rain here right now!!! Utterly ugly outside! My consolation...I'm working open to close here today....so I wouldn't be outside anyway...and most likely after 10.5 hours, I would go home and veg out anyway...wait, I've got dinner to make and a cake to bake (make, bake cake...haa haa haaa) so I wouldn't be able to be outside anyway..I guess it all works out for the best doesn't it?

Got my points all planned out for today. As long as I can hold firm and not eat any crumbs from the cake...or any cake batter, i'll be good. Oh well...if I could do it yesterday, I can do it today. And you know what.....It's purely a thing of pride now......I don't want to do succumb...simply to prove to myself that I can do it! the biggest problem.....is not refraining from eating, ie making that concious decision to not eat it....it's the mindless stuff....I caught myself a few times yesterday just picking up a piece or bite of something and getting ready to pop it into my mouth! EII YII YII But yesterday I was able to stop myself. I will today also!

I was hoping to walk on my lunch break today, as i did last week. however, with the rain that will not be happening. Oh well. At least I got some exercise in this morning! I think Todd has to be up and out of the house tomorrow morning at by 7am...so I may ride super early in the morning. Then if I want, I can get a double ride in by riding after I clean and decorate the cake. Yep..I'm going to do everything i can to help power this weight off!