Wordless

Here we are, Thursday morning!  My week is winding down and I am ready for the weekend!   But as I sat here reflecting this week and looking forward to the next one, realized a few things.   One, I have a long weekend and two I had a word of the week failure!  Oops!

Early this week I sat down to calculate the previous weeks mileage for my 2024 miles in 2024 Challenge. (post talking about this challenge can be found here).  This is my typical routine.  I close out the previous week and I turn the page to the new week.  When I turn the page, I see the empty margin at the top and I put down my new word of the week.  Many times I don't actually have a word of the week planned, I turn the page, see it and just know what the word should be.  This week I turned the page and thought about the word of the week and what it should be.   Nothing came to mind.  I was stumped.  So I vowed to come back to it.   I just realized, I never went back to it!  So I guess the default word of the week is 'wordless'!

Just because the word of the week was missing doesn't mean that I am not still tracking my progress.  I am still tracking my food.  I am still accumulating miles.  However, the mileage has been a lot lower as I have been really lax on exercise.  I ride the exercise bike to get in a fair amount of miles...but being honest, I knock out those miles fast and furious on breaks from work.   I rely on my step count to make up the rest of the miles and I have been so sedentary that I fear that this week I won't make my mileage goals.  If I make it, I am pretty sure that I won't be banking miles!  That's not cool!

 

My eating of late has been spot on!  A while back I talked about my frustration on the scales and that I needed to tighten up my calories and my carbs. (here and here)   I have been doing very well with the carbs.  I had one day where I splurged and had a sandwich for lunch and then had pasta for dinner.  But for the most part I have kept it at one serving!  I am not concerned about fruits and veggies and natural sugars/carbs.   The calories.  I have had some days where I have nailed the 1200-1300 calorie count that I am aiming for, but I am still most days sitting at closer to 1400-1500 calories.  So that one is still a struggle.

One thing that I AM doing is trying to focus on upping my intake of fruits and veggies.  I know that years ago when I was doing weight watchers I was eating a LOT of fruits and veggies (even before they were considered free).  At one of the meetings theWW leader was encouraging people to eat more fruits and veggies and people were complaining and lamenting about how it was impossible.   She asked the room if anyone was eating over 4-5 servings.  I honestly raised my hand.  I was the only one that raised my hand.   She got a huge grin on her face and just stopped and waved at me like she was Vanna White and said "there is the proof'.  Because you see, I had just shared at the beginning of the meeting my pounds lost for the week and we had talked about my total/overall loss, which at that point was amazing (as I was really close to reaching my goal at that point...so we were talking overall loss of over 100 pounds).   Zoey loves her veggies also (ok, Zoey loves pretty much any food....well except for lettuce/spinach).

So I am excited to step on the scales for my weekly weigh in to see how I do this week!   That will be in my next post!  :-)

I have been going up to my mom's once a week to work on sorting and cleaning and trying to figure out what to do with her belongings.   It's a crazy thing dismantling my parents life.   Sad on one hand because my parents have things from their childhoods, from their parents....so we are talking 80-100 year old memories.   But it's also cathartic as we share memories and laugh.  We have tried to be quite judicious with what we are taking.  For me I have a three point criteria and something has to fit in that criteria before I take it.  

    1.  It has to have sentimental value to ME.

    2.  It has to be something I actually need.

    3.  It has to be something that is better than what I own....making it an upgrade.

So far that has worked. The sentimental items that I have gotten include my dad's toy cash register that my brother and I both played with.  (we used to play restaurant and every restaurant needs a cash register right?  This is all metal and was given to dad when he was about 4 or 5 making it 75-78 years old.

I also took mom's doll bed.   I also played with this as a youngster.  I was REALLY into dolls, so I used this a LOT! At this point, this doll  crib would be at least 72-74 years old.

There are some other random, smaller things.   A few pieces of glassware, some items from the restaurant (my grandmother owned a diner) and probably more to come!  I am taking a fair amount of my parents wood furniture.  It is solid walnut ....and in really good condition, and better than my current furniture!

So there is a lot of shuffling of furniture and belongings here at my house!  But it's fun, and all stuff that brings so many memories. 

The weather has been warm one day cold the next!  I am so ready for spring!  I see signs but it's still cold (at least today!)

Come on Spring!!!!

I Love You Mama

 I think my post title sums up everything I need to say.

Friday morning started as any other day.  I woke up and started my day like normal.  I was only awake for about 15 minutes when my phone rang. It was my brother telling me that he had just gotten off the phone with the nursing home.  Mom had died.  

 

It was unexpected. Sure, she had very limited mobility.   OF course,  she had been in the hospital for a week earlier this year.   But there was no indication that she was at the end.   So it was a bit of a shock.

I'm filled with grief and sadness.  But being honest, this is a good thing.  I know where my mother is now.  I know that my mom is no longer struggling with the most basic of life functions.  You see, she never recovered after the stroke 1.5 years ago and she struggled emotionally  with the loss of her mobility and freedom.

 The arrangements have been made, and we are in that stage between death and services.  Limbo land.   When my father died, I ate my way through my grief.   Seriously, I ate anything and everything!  I also gained about 8-10 pounds in that one week!   Within an hour of receiving the news that my mom had passed away I had already told Jason, "I'm not gaining this time, so no scads of donuts, ice cream, cakes and candies!"   

Let me tell you, it has been difficult!  That first day, I wanted to drown my sorrows at Burger King or Mcdonalds on the way to my brothers where we met to start making the arrangements!   I didn't!  I stuck to my cheerios!   The next day when Jason and I went down for the identification before cremation I wanted to stop again for fast food!  I wanted to pick up donuts!  I wanted it all!  I didn't!   I did have a higher calorie day (1700's) but the other two days since I received the news my calories have been in the 1300's!  The scales?   Right now I am maintaining!  I"ll take that as a victory!

 My word of the week for this week?  It's another phrase....... "hang on"

Word of the Week

​How is it already Wednesday and I haven’t posted my word of the week yet!  I’m such a slacker!!!   It just seems as if every moment of my day is sucked up with activity.   By the time I do sit down to relax in the evening I am just plain and simple tired!   But here I am now, so let’s catch up!

Word of the Week

My word of the week for this week is consistent.     Consistent just seemed really appropriate for me this week.  My January report actually kinda surprised me, I wasn’t expecting it to be as good as it was, but it showed me that my efforts were making a difference!  Because of that, I knew that I couldn’t let up!  I needed to stay the course that I am on.  I had to stay consistent!   

I am happy to say that this far this week I have been consistent!

Accountability

I have long resisted the idea of actually posting my food on a public forum such as this site or on my YouTube channel.  I know a lot of people do, but it just seemed as if I was opening myself up to ridicule as people decided to make comments about what I’m eating because of course my eating plan is MY plan and may not fit in with what someone else thinks is a good plan. So while I have toyed with it quite a few times over the years, I have never actually done it.   I also lacked the discipline (and memory) to actually film/photograph my food for each meal!  Hahaha. So I never did it.  That is, I have never really done it until last week.   No no no, you didn’t miss anything on here.  I decided to try something on my YouTube channel and I started posting what I eat in a day videos. Yeah, not really sure what possessed me!  Must have been a moment of insanity!

But I’ve done a few now.  And it hasn’t been too bad.   Sure I got a comment from someone to eat more veggies (I have always been a bit heavier on fruit versus veggies, so no surprise there).    I have forgotten to film one meal.  But since I’m a creature of habit it was luckily just a bowl of cheerios that of forgot to film.  So I’ve done it for about a week. And it’s been….well enlightening.

For one, the accountability multiplied tenfold for sure! And secondly, I realized how much of a rut I really am in, and it did make me sit back to try to think of different options for lunch.  (Although if it’s working for me, why change it?)

I don’t know how long I will do it.  Posting a video everyday is a commitment. It takes time to not only film (I am throwing in other things from life into those ‘what I eat in a day videos…and some videos are two days lumped into one), but it takes time to edit the footage.  It takes time to get everything ready to post and it even takes time to post.  But for now, it’s working as I’m working to set up some kind of routine to allow it to happen within my normal daily schedule.  (And in that schedule I am looking at adding a regular time to write here because I am always THINKING about writing a post but time gets in the way.

You can check out my what I eat in a day videos here.  

The Homestead

It’s no secret that when Jason and I bought our place that we bought it with grand visions of the property.  We don’t have a lot of land, but you can do a lot on a one and a half acres.  Fruit trees, a strawberry patch, garden, chickens, etc etc etc.   However, shortly after moving in life went upside down and well….I started to struggle emotionally.  And if you have ever suffered from any level of depression you will know that it is a monumental task to even do simple things like cleaning and cooking.   The yard progressed a bit..and we did plant a few things, but nothing major.

I decided that it was time to change that.   So I’ve been trying to spend a little time outside each weekend doing SOMETHING to better our ‘homestead’.   It’s winter so there isn’t a whole lot to do.  But we have a big brush pile to burn!  So we had a fire one weekend.  And my nut trees needed pruned…so I pruned one weekend.   We still have brush piles and stuff to clean.   That’s a good winter chore!  (Can you get poison ivy in the winter?).   I am looking at getting strawberries, grapes and blueberry bushes this year.  I want the fruit trees, but I need to watch the finances and don’t want to bite off more than I can chew in terms of time commitments!

I’m pretty excited about the homestead work!

We remain busy with life and all of our commitments, but I’ve been doing much better emotionally.   And of course, Zoey the Newfoundland is as cute as ever…she got a bath this past weekend!   She wasn’t happy about that!!!

So life is moving nicely..and things are going well!

January Check in and a Weigh in!

 January is in the books and it is time to look at how I did in January and look forward to what I am going to be doing in February.  I have to say, when I was looking at my stats and what I did, I was pleasantly surprised.  I was expecting the worst, but it was actually pretty good!

Exercise 

I nailed my exercise!  Sure there is always room for improvement but I did quite well!  So lets see what I did!

*I was able to complete quite a  few mornings of exercise videos (thank you YouTube). They were each about 30 minutes in length

* I rode my exercise bike 28 of 31 days in January. My mileage for my bike was 117.28 miles. 

* I walked an average of 4500 steps each day (about 1500 steps above my average for December). 

* I was able to complete 188.23 miles toward my 2024 challenge!  I have about 20 extra miles banked for a rainy day!

* I had two personal trainers....but they weren't too interested in my exercise!

Word of the Week

    I utilized my word of the week each week.  Two of the weeks were the same word, but the next three weeks were different.  I opened my day planner and a different word just came to me, so I rolled with it! Each word turned out to be absolutely perfect for what I was going through, feeling and experiencing!

   Here are my words of the week!

    *Week one - Control

    *Week Two - Control

    *Week Three - Fortitude

    * Week Four - Just Do it

    * Week 5 - Drive

Healthy Habits

I did fabulous on my tracking!  I tracked each day.  I pulled my information into my day planner.  I was amazing with tracking.  What I wasn't amazing with was water consumption!  I averaged about 50 (being generous here) ounces a day.   I was very cognizant of my water, it just didn't segue from something I kew I had to do, into a habit!  My calories were in line for most days!   That is exactly what I want, most days.  I am not seeking perfection.  I am looking for sustainability! 

Weigh In

I was so happy to see that my weight was down by 6 pounds!   I'll take it!  It's been fluctuating greatly for most of the month and only this week really seemed to settle!    Sure, I would like it to be more, but 6 pounds is respectable! I had to sit back and think about how much 6 pounds equals for a full year.  That is 72 pounds for a year!  That wee little 6 pounds that I was boo-hooing about?   That adds up to an impressive number!!!  6 pounds?  I'll take it gladly!

Plans for February

So what am I planning for February?
**Track my food!

**DRINK WATER

**Continue the Word of the Week

**Eat Slow  (slow is a no for acid reflux!)

**Continue to limit my carbs

**Focus on being healthy....and not stress about the number on the scale!

**Catch the rogue mouse that is running wild through our house!   WE have traps, but this little sucker is wiley and is outsmarting us!!!

The month is wide open.  I can make it whatever I want it to be!  I am choosing successful!

 

 

Word of the......

 I have always loved the concept of the word of the week.  It seems like such an amazing idea.  Except that I always forget it.  I always get bogged down.  I sometimes think that the word isn't appropriate later in the year.  It just doesn't seem to work for me! Maybe my word should be committed since I obviously have issues with long term commitment!

Except that a few years ago the word WAS committed!  I was so ready and committed!  I even went as far as printing up pictures for the wall.  I was going to do it!  And I failed with the commitment on the year of being committed!

This year I fell into the trap of thinking that it was a great idea again!  I wanted to do it!  I wanted to jump on the bandwagon.  But I knew that it wasn't for me!  So I didn't!  Instead I decided to have a word of the week!  I wasn't sure how well it would work but I was determined to try it!

When I had been briefly contemplating the word of the year I had thought about the word "control"  because it just seemed apropos for me because I so need to get control!  Therefore, when I made my plan to have a word of the week it was easy to decide my word for the first week!  Control!  I put it at the top of my day planner.  

I am in my day planner each day as I am keeping track of my food intake in my dayplanner.  (Yes I use MyFitnessPal, but I put it in my day planner and add things about how I felt afterward...how fast I ate, etc to try to get a handle on the GERD)    I also track my bike miles, exercise, steps, vitamin and pill intake amongst other random things. So it is the perfect place for me to see the word of the week multiple times of the week!   

On week two I started my new week's page in my day planner and I knew that control was still the word that I needed to focus on!  So I colored it in on that week also.

I was perfectly fine with keeping control as my word for another week. Seriously, if my word remained as control for the whole year, I would have no issue!   But when the third week of the year began and I flipped to the new pages on my day planner control was not at all what I was thinking.  The only word that was in my head was fortitude!  Well that was easy.....fortitude was the word of the week!   I got to coloring!  (I apologize for the blurry pic)

Today I started week 4 of the year and as I do every Monday, I turned the page to a new week in my planner ready to start the new week.  I sat there for a few seconds.  Fortitude no longer felt even remotely like it was the correct word for the week.  Control?  Well that didn't feel wrong but it just didn't feel like it fit.  The only thing that kept coming up in my mind was the phrase. "Just Do It"  But it's a word of the week, not a phrase right?   Could I put in Nike as my word because of their slogan. (Is that even still their slogan?)   But no, using Nike as my word of the week was nonsense!   But my mind kept saying "do it...do it....do it!"  So my word of the week is a phrase!

This word of the week thing is working for me.  It is allowing me to focus on what I need at that exact moment!   Yes, I think control may end up being  the 'theme' of the year.  But my word for each week will be whatever fits for my life, emotions and physical being that exact week!

Thank you to everyone that thought about me, prayed for me and asked about my colonoscopy that I wrote about the other day.   Jason and I made it safely to my appointment.  The back roads were horrid, but the interstate was much better (and got better the further north we went as they had less snow....and the drive home was much better as the storm had moved onward).

The test went well.  The doctor said I was as cleaned out as they came...perfect prep.   I also received a good report. An excellent report actually!  What a relief!  I do have a pocket of diverticulosis.  The doctor was not concerned about it at all and said it will most likely never cause me any issues and if it did we would worry about it then.  He did recommend a high fiber diet to keep my colon in good shape and to help keep me from getting diverticulitis. Which goes in line with how I SHOULD and TRY to eat anyway! 

Control

 The last couple days one word has been coming up time and time again for me as I work on getting my weight loss journey moving again. At first I ignored it...but after a bunch of times of this word popping up, I decided it was time to sit back and listen. Right?

What is this word?  The word is control.

The first time the word came up was while I was watching a YouTube video that was posted by a gal that is working to lose weight. In her video she was talking about how she was in control and how it felt good.  It made me sit back and think about when I last felt in control of my eating.  It was a while and I well remember how amazing I felt.  It was so empowering!   I smiled at the memory and thought about getting that feeling back.   I thought about it enough that I filmed a clip for my YouTube channel about the word control!   In that clip I talked about control and that empowering feeling. In that same clip I also talked about how I had succumbed to stress eating.

Weirdly enough, I had a comment before I even posted my clip about how my word of the year should be control.  Hmmmm

And then this morning. I stepped on the scale and saw that my weight was up.  I was frustrated as I stood in the shower.  It is hard, seeing a gain makes me want to give up.  But I stopped and told myself. NO!  Get control of yourself.  (Yes, I said it out loud too!).   I thought about that clip I had filmed, and I realized that even the stress eating was me LOSING control.  Crazy!    Immediately I was stuck on the word control, and I knew that I HAD to make control my word of the..........

Nope, I've done a word of the year before.  I jumped on the bandwagon a few times over the years.  Most recently in 2020, my word of the year was Committed.  I remembered the word for a few days...but I always forget it. It becomes a thing of the past. So, it really does no good for me!   But, while I was in the shower this morning I thought that maybe, just maybe I could do a word of the week.  It could change and adjust to where I was in my life journey/weight loss journey/etc.   I decided that my word of the week would be written on the top page of each week in my dayplanner/journal.   I could reuse words.  Maybe control would be the word the whole year through. But maybe control would only be my focus for a week....or a month...or a half of year.   

So that is what I did....I have added the word in bold red and I'm ready to live that word this week!